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Adventures
of Inspector Blixeau
(in reverse chronological order):
Click:
[20031121-01] [20031003-01] [2003-06-11] [2003-04-22] [2003-04-12] [2003-03-15] [2003-03-11] [20030308] [2003-03-03] [2003-01-27] [2003-01-18] [2002-12-08] [2002-11-19] [2002-11-18] [2002-11-13] [2002-11-08]
[2002-10-30] [2002-10-02]
·Return of Inspector Blixeau: Click
here for cartoon with audio.
·Shot in the Dark: ·Version
1(smaller)· ·Version 1(larger)·
·Version2··
·Hans Blix as Sgt. Blix in the new Reality TV
show: Dubya's Inspectors-- click here·
·How/why Blix became the UN's Chief Weapons Inspector:
Click here..
·Blixeau in the Dark: Click
here·
..
Nov. 21, 2003:
PoliSat
.Com's
Political
Satire/
Commentary
Daily Update #
01·· ™©·2003
·(posted Nov. 24)·
The dreams of Blixeau for
hist'ry's tableau... ·
"My book," says Inspector Blixeau,¹
"will soon become hist'ry's tableau
on how Blair and Bush
were wrong when they pushed
for orders for warfare to go."
"Since dubya-M-D's weren't detected,
to me there'll be statues erected
as soon as the Baathists
again rule Iraqis
to celebrate freedom ejected."
Such legacy dreams of Blixeau
will dominate hist'ry's tableau
as soon as Berlin
prefers once again
a wall between East/West plateaus.·
···
Inspired by a November 20, 2003, news report of an interview with Hans Blix, in
which Blix explains his plans to write a book explaining his view of how
history will view Operation Iraqi Freedom as an illegal war rather than one
leading to the spread of freedom in the Middle East. Blix's expectations
of being vindicated by history are about as good as similar hopes of those who
mocked Reagan's stubborn insistence on increasing and modernizing our nuclear
forces as an incentive for the Soviet Union to ultimately capitulate to his
demands for reducing nuclear weapons rather than merely continuing the
decades-old pattern of limiting increases in such weapons.
¹·"Inspector
Blixeau" is the name I coined for U.N. Weapons Inspector Hans Blix.
For more about Inspector Blixeau, go here.
--Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com.·
Direct link for
this Update: ·
http://polisat.com/du2003/du031130.htm#20031121-01
· ™©2003
.
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of Daily Updates | View most recent
animation | Index to Animations
|
..
··
Oct.3, 2003:
PoliSat.Com's
Political
Satire/
Commentary
Daily Update #
01·· ™©·2003 ··
Preemption preeminence beats last-resort immanence...
To
those with delusions of prescience,
the danger to peace wasn't imminent
from Saddam's
Iraq,
so Bush they attack
for making preemption preeminent.
To think we're sufficiently prescient
to wait until danger is imminent
before launching Rangers
at gathering dangers,
our only defense would be immanent.
The critics say: "Threats must be imminent
before plans for war we should implement,"
but seeking perfection
in timing protection
leads not to success but impediments.
Though critics in Nine-One-One's wake
said "Dots were connected too late,"
they're quick to forget
in countering threats,
it's better too soon than too late.
····
The "there-was-no-imminent-danger" critics of Operation Iraqi Freedom
as an imperialistic "preemptive war" base their argument upon the
specious contention that our intelligence services can be prescient enough to
allow us the luxury of waiting for a danger to become "imminent"
before taking action against it, yet those same critics are the ones who most
loudly proclaim the ineffectiveness of our intelligence services. Bush
never claimed an attack directly against us by Iraq was
"imminent." Instead, he correctly described the
circumstances as a "gathering danger" that would continue to grow
absent removal of Saddam Hussein. David Kay today publicly described his
team's still-classified mission as not yet having found operational weapons of
mass destruction. However,
the media (and the critics) have ignored his statements that his team has found
massive evidence of capabilities and plans for such weapons and evidence of extensive
violations other serious weapons limitations
(such work in progress on missiles with a range of 1,000 kilometers) not
detected by the vaunted Inspector
Blixeau.
(By the way, the last two stanzas are from my January
29, 2003, Daily Update.) --Jim Wrenn,
Editor@PoliSat.Com.·
Direct link
for this Update: ·
http://polisat.com/du2003/du031031.htm#20031003-01
·
™©2003
.
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..
··
June 11, 2003:
PoliSat.Com's
Political Satire/Commentary
Daily Update #01··™©·2003··
From Rumsfeld instructions to Blix for dastardly quote
to be fixed;
Did Rumsfeld tell Blix where to go to learn he's Inspector Blixeau?.·
The Guardian quoted Hans Blix
as claiming that Pentagon tricks
portrayed him as though
Inspector Clouseau
was really his name 'stead of Blix.
But later when Rumsfeld et al
denied they had mocked him at all,
corrections by Blix
said sources of tricks
were private, not Rumsfeld et al.
Perhaps he told Blix where to go
to learn what he seemed not to know:
T'was PoliSat-Com's
satirical wand
that dubbed him "Inspector Blixeau."*··
··
The Guardian
published a June 11, 2003, article based on an interview with Hans Blix
headlined "Blix: I was smeared by the Pentagon." The
article quoted Blix as having said the "bastards in Washington" had
been trying to smear him and undermine him during the inspection period
preceding Operation Iraqi Freedom. After worldwide dissemination of the
article, Blix told a Fox News reporter that when he referred to "bastards
in Washington," he meant private individuals rather than Pentagon
officials. As a private individual, I plead guilty to satirizing Blix as Inspector
Blixeau. ·*·For
the Adventures of Inspector Blixeau, go here.
--Jim
Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com.·
Direct link for
this
Update: ·http://polisat.com/du2003/du030630.htm#20030611-01·™©2003.
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..
··
April 22,
2003: PoliSat.Com's
Political Satire/Commentary
Daily Update #01··™©·2003····
Blixeau's self-delusion as wunderkind
whose mission by Dubya was undermined...·
Blixeau,* who believes
he's a wunderkind,
in claiming by Bush he was undermined
pretends that confessions
revealing the weapons
through terror weren't totally undermined.··
··
Inspired by an April
22, 2003, news report touting Hans Blix's claims that his inspection regime
was "undermined" by Bush. Ostensibly, Blix still suffers the
delusion that the will of Iraqi scientists to tell him the truth was not totally
undermined by threats of torture and death directed toward them and their family
members by Saddam's secret police.
·*·Beginning
last October, I recognized Hans Blix to be the UN's version of Inspector
Clouseau, so I re-named him accordingly and chronicled his actions here
as the adventures of "Inspector Blixeau."
--Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com.·
Direct link for
this Update: ·http://polisat.com/du2003/du030430.htm#20030422-01·™©2003.
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..
··
April
12, 2003: PoliSat.Com's
Political Satire/Commentary
Daily Update #01··™©·2003···
From Blix more
pronouncements to show
he's really Inspector Blixeau.·
That Pentagon "planning" for "war" had
begun
before the "inspections" by Blix had begun
was cited by Blix
as proof "war" was picked
as end-game before Blix's work had begun.
Naivety rather than knowledge he shows
with statements revealing how little he knows,
'cause prudence demands
contingency plans
designed just in case there's an order to "Go."
If "thinkers" like Blix were in charge of our
freedom
they'd never have "war-plans" 'til after
they need 'em.
Too late they would see
such planning to be
too little, too late for protecting our freedom.
Naive accusations by Blix merely show
how little he knows what inspectors should know
and buttress my theory
of needs to be leery
of Blix 'cause he's really Inspector Blixeau.*····
·
Inspired by an April
12, 2003, news report of an interview of Hans Blix by Spanish news
media. According to the report, Blix said Iraq was paying a "a very high price in terms of human lives and the destruction of a
country when the threat of banned weapons could have been contained by UN
inspections." With stunning naivety, he also said: "There is evidence that this war was planned well in advance. Sometimes this raises doubts about their attitude to the [weapons] inspections."
The article says "the 74-year Swedish diplomat made clear that he believes he was misled by President
Bush." It further says, "In a scathing attack on Britain and the US, Mr. Blix accused them of planning the war
'well in advance' and of 'fabricating' evidence against Iraq to justify their campaign.
Thank goodness people who think like Blix are not in charge of defending our
freedoms. *·To
learn how and why Hans Blix became the UN's Chief Weapons Inspector for Iraq, click
here. --Jim
Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com.·
Direct link for
this
Update: ·http://polisat.com/du2003/du030430.htm#20030412-01·™©2003.
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..
··
March 15, 2003: PoliSat.Com's
Political Satire/Commentary
Daily Update #01··™©·2003···
Blixeau's Knowledge Diet
is snappy: Keep saying "Don't Worry, Be Happy."·····
Blixeau knows his job's to give warning
of weapons Saddam is still hording
but told MTV
the "danger" he sees
ain't war but instead "global warming."
··
Inspired by a March
14, 2003, news report of Hans Blix's (aka Inspector
Blixeau) comments to an MTV "reporter," in which Blix contended he
worries more about "global warming" than nuclear weapons. --Jim
Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com.·
Direct link for
this
Update: ·polisat.com/du2003/du030331.htm#20030315-01·™©2003.
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..
··
March 11, 2003: PoliSat.Com's
Political Satire/Commentary
Daily Update #01··™©·2003···
Blixeau*
has begun to hide smoking guns.····
·
Blixeau showed his "fairness" as weapons inspector
when Powell by him at the Council was hectored
contending Saddam
was "going along"
to help him t'ward ending his job as inspector.
In praising Saddam 'cause he owned-up
to weapons as soon as they've shown-up
Blixeau has displayed
his knowledge of ways
to focus on holes in the doughnuts.··
Inspired by Blix's obliviousness to his real task as evidenced by his decision
to exclude from his oral report to the Security Council last Friday the fact
that the inspectors had found pilot-less planes and customized bombs designed to
disperse chemical and/or biological weapons. *·Blixeau
is the name I coined for Inspector Hans Blix last October due to my
expectation that his job performance would resemble that of Inspector
Clouseau. For more Adventures of Inspector
Blixeau, go here. --Jim
Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com.·
Direct link for
this Update: ·polisat.com/du2003/du030331.htm#20030311-01·™©2003.
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..
··
March 08, 2003: PoliSat.Com's
Political Satire/Commentary
Daily Update #01··™©·2003···
Inspector Blixeau has
perfected his act... in swallowing elephants; straining on gnats.··
··
Inspector Blixeau has perfected his act
in swallowing elephants; straining on gnats
and praising the grudging
concessions of fudging;
ignoring the drones with the chemical vats.·
··
Inspired by (1) reports today that buried in Blix's "cluster report"
was the statement that the inspectors discovered Iraq has, and was concealing,
pilot-less drones capable of flying into other countries to spray or disperse
chemical or biological weapons and (2) an assertion today by Bill Tierney, a
former U.N. weapons inspector, that more than three weeks ago he furnished Blix
the precise coordinates of an underground uranium facility, that despite such
precise information, the inspectors have not yet even gone to those coordinates,
and, further, that despite their having failed to do so, Blix told the Security
Council yesterday that the inspectors had been "unable to find" any
"underground" facility. --Jim
Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com.·
Direct link for
this Update: ·polisat.com/du2003/du030331.htm#20030308-01·™©2003.
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..
··
March 03, 2003: PoliSat.Com's
Political Satire/Commentary
Daily Update #01··™©·2003···
Blixeau and ElBlabAday
want Dubya to back-away.··
··
Blixeau*
seems quite easy to please;
ElBlabAday** always agrees,
and Gerhardt and Jacques
proclaim that Iraq's
a country "we love to appease."
Our sources say Gerhardt and Jacques
are coaching Saddam of Iraq
on feeding to Blix
enough tiny bits
to please him, click here***
for the facts..
··
Will Blix tout Saddam's piecemeal disclosures and piecemeal destruction of the
rockets as "good progress" warranting indefinite extension of "inspectons"?
·*·"Blixeau" is the name
I assigned to Inspector Blix (Blix plus Clouseau = Blixeau.)
·**·"ElBlabAday" is the
Pink-Pantherization of "ElBaradei."
·***·The proof is in the form of a "video
tape" obtained by PoliSat.Com from highly classified sources. To
view this "video
tape" of just one of the many "coaching" sessions, go
here..
--Jim
Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com.·
Direct link for
this Update: ·polisat.com/du2003/du030331.htm#20030303-01·™©2003.
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..
..
Jan. 27, 2003: PoliSat.Com's
Political Satire/Commentary
Daily Update #01·™©·2003··
Belated correction
defining unspection.·
·
Blixeau
fin'lly stated corrections
to rightly describe the complexion
of work by his team:
It only could be
correctly defined as unspections.
·
Inspired by listening to public portion of the report to the UN Security Council
today by Hans Blix aka Inspector Blixeau conceding, in essence, that Iraq had
failed to comply with the Council's resolution requiring Iraq to cure its
noncompliance and furnish proof of doing so. Afterward, Powell put it best by saying the question is not how much longer should the inspectors search in the dark but how much longer should we wait for Saddam Hussein to turn on the light.
--Jim
Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com.·
Direct link for
this Update: ·http://polisat.com/du2003/du030131.htm#20030127-01·™©2003.
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..
··
Jan. 18, 2003: PoliSat.Com's
Political Satire/Commentary
Daily Update #01·™©·2003··
Blixeau blindly groping for guns that are smoking.·
·
So little Saddam has been showing,
to Baghdad Blixeau is now
going
proclaiming forthrightly
he'll ask Saddam nicely
to show us his guns that are smoking.
Blixeau says the law he's
invoking;
however, the thought he's provoking
performing his task
inspires us to ask
what substance Blixeau
has been smoking.
·
Inspired by the January
18, 2003, report that Inspector Blixeau aka
Hans Blix is en route to Baghdad to try to persuade the Iraqis to be
"more cooperative" with the inspectors. --Jim Wrenn,
Editor@PoliSat.Com.·
Direct link for
this Update: ·http://polisat.com/du2003/du030131.htm#20030118-01·™©2003.
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..
··
Dec. 8, 2002: PoliSat.Com's
Political Satire/Commentary
Daily Update #01·™©·2002··
Some pundits belatedly know that Blix is Inspector
Blixeau. ·
·
It's lately some pundits we know
said Blix is "Inspector Clouseau,"
but we first perceived
what they now believe:
He's really Inspector
Blixeau.
·
Inspired by the sudden flurry of pundits (whom I won't name) equating Hans Blix
with Inspector Clouseau not realizing that PoliSat.Com first exposed his true
identity as Inspector
Blixeau on October
2, 2002. --Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com..
Direct link for
this Update: ·http://polisat.com/du2002/du021231.htm#20021208-01·™©2002.
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Polisat.Com |
..
··
Nov. 19, 2002: PoliSat.Com's
Political Satire/Commentary
Daily Update #01·™©·2002··
The firing of missiles & cannon...
does not make a breach proclaimed Annan.·
·
Iraq's firing missiles and cannon
does not make a breach proclaimed Annan.*
·
His statement surreal
again has revealed
he's studied the wrong set of canons.
His faith in the wrong set of canons
controls the agenda of Annan
assuring that he
continues to be
as "Gen'ral" a really loose cannon.
Hans Blix as Blixeau has the onus
for bombs of Saddam to be shown us,
but Kofi perceives
his function to be
Blixeau's Chief Inspector named Kofus.** ·
However, our experts on cannons
would alter not "Kofi" but "Annan"
because they perceive
his purpose to be
Blixeau's Chief Inspector named Annus***·
·
To learn if Blixeau will be smart
when he and inspectors embark
on searches for bombs
possessed by Saddam,
click here to see Shot
in the Dark.
(For a larger version, click
here.)
·
Previously, when reporters asked Kofi Annan to state what he would consider a
"material breach," he always "diplomatically" evaded the
question by saying, in effect, that whether any particular action should be
deemed a "material breach" could only be made by "the
Council." Yet today when asked about Iraq's firing of anti-aircraft
artillery at American/British planes patrolling the "no-fly" zones,
Annan categorically stated that the Council would not consider such action to be
a "material breach," thus giving Iraq the green light to intensify
such activities with impunity in the eyes of Annan. Thus, the bumbling but
well-intentioned Inspector Blixeau must contend not only with the deceptiveness
of Hussein's goons but also with the misguided Annan as his "Chief
Inspector Annus." *Recently,
a spokesman for Kofi Annan explained that proper pronunciation of his last name
rhymes with "cannon" rather than "anon." ** The Pink-Panterization
of "Blix" is "Blixeau" as "Clouseau"; likewise,
"Kofi" is "Kofus" as "Dreyfus." ***I
intend "Annus" to rhyme with "con-us" rather than
"anus" to satisfy military experts who tell me (on conditions of
anonymity, of course) that for Kofi Annan, the "Dreyfus" is "Annus." --Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com..
Direct link for
this Update: ·http://polisat.com/du2002/du021130.htm#20021119-01··™©2002.
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..
···
The mission of Blix-- is it smart... or merely a Shot in
the Dark?·
·
To learn if Blixeau will be smart
when he and inspectors embark
on searches for bombs
possessed by Saddam,
click here to see Shot in the
Dark.
(For a larger version, click
here.)
·
--Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com..
Direct link for
this Update: ·http://polisat.com/du2002/du021130.htm#20021118-01··™©2002.
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..
..
Saddam Hussein's
letter says "No/Yes" to fetters.·
·
Saddam sent a letter to say
reluctantly he will obey
the new resolution
to force devolution
of weapons with half-life decay.
That letter, however, implied
inspections might still be denied
if sought in a way
that fails to display
respect for Saddam Hussein's pride.
If Blix merely goes with the flow
the way that Saddam has proposed,
what title befits
the mission of Blix?
Return of Inspector Blixeau ! ·
[Click
here to see/hear the Return
of Inspector Blixeau.]·
·
Inspired by Saddam Hussein's sending the UN a letter purporting to
unconditionally accept the Security Council resolution for inspections despite
the nine page letter being full of implied, if not overt, equivocations.
--Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com..
Direct link for
this Update: ·http://polisat.com/du2002/du021130.htm#20021113-01··™©2002.
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.··.
·Return
of Blixeau to Iraq to find what Saddam's really got.·
·
The Council today told Iraq*
[*use the
"ee-rock" pronounciation]
Inspector Blixeau will embark.
Will this be a mission
to stop Saddam's fission
or merely a Shot in the Dark?·
·
Today the UN Security Council purportedly unanimously "agreed" on
terms for sending Inspector Blix back to Iraq. Britain and the US said
they interpreted the language as not prohibiting military action by member
states upon a report of non-compliance by Iraq without further authorization
from the Council while nearly all the other Council members expressed their view
that the language would require further authorization by the Council before
commencement of enforcement action. Click
here to see the Return
of Inspector Blixeau.
--Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com..
Direct link for
this Update: ·http://polisat.com/du2002/du021130.htm#20021108-01··™©2002.
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Polisat.Com |
..
··
Said
Blix "To
Iraq I won't go as feckless Inspector Blixeau."·
Said Blix to the Council, "I'll go
inspecting if you will bestow
some bite to my barkin'
to force 'em to hearken
instructions on what they must show." *
·
Said Blix "If they force me to go
with bite to my bark not bestowed,
Saddam will perceive
my mission to be
Return of Inspector Blixeau."
[Click here
to see Return of Inspector Blixeau.].
·
Inspired by an October
30, 2002, news report that Blix informed Bush that he's been telling UN
Security Council members that sending him to Iraq to conduct weapons inspections
would be ineffective absent the UN first making clear to Iraq that
non-compliance would result in swift and serious consequences. [*Red
quotation marks denote text paraphrasing the text of a quotation.] --Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com..
Direct link for
this Update: ·http://polisat.com/du2002/du021031.htm#20021030-01··™©2002.
··
·Saddam is agreeing
to host... Return of Inspector Blixeau..·
Saddam's found a way he can show
he doesn't have weapons that glow
because he's obtaining
conditions arranging
Return of Inspector Blixeau. [Click
here to see Return of Inspector Blixeau.]
Oct. 2, 2002 Political-Satire/Commentary
--
Inspired by the statement on October 1, 2002, by Hans Blix (leader of the UN
inspection team for Iraq) asserting that Iraq had agreed to unconditional
inspections at any time, anywhere (except for Saddam's
"palaces," for which inspections require advance notice, permission
from Iraq and diplomats to accompany the inspectors). --Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com.·
·
·
·
·
·
···To
Top of This Page.
Select format to play sound: [Wav(compressed for dialup)] [AIF] [MP3]·
··Blixeau and El-Babble-away (aka
ElBlabAday)·
·
·
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·
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