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Political Satire Daily Update.
Updates start below in reverse chronological order--i.e., most-recent first, etc.
Remember, January, 2002, is the First Annual PEACE Month Celebration.
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January 31, 2002--PoliSat.Com's Political Satire Daily Update 20020131-01 ™© 2002 Jim Wrenn, editor@polisat.com.
Today is the day that we cease our first celebration of PEACE.  .

    Today is the day that we cease
    our first celebration of PEACE,
    but if you don't know
    its meaning, please go
    right here to learn more about PEACE.
 .
Direct URL for this January 31, 2002, PoliSat.Com Political-Satire Daily Update by Jim Wrenn, Political-Satire Editor@PoliSat.Com:  http://polisat.com/du2002/du020131.htm#20020131-01.™©.2002   Want to become a PoliSat.Com affiliate?  Click here for information and instructions. 
.

January 30, 2002--PoliSat.Com's Political Satire Daily Update 20020130-01 ™© 2002 Jim Wrenn, editor@polisat.com.
McAuliffe, the pot, is now back ... to claim Enron's kettle is black.  .
.
    That Enron collapse was just awful
    said D-N-C Chairman, McAuliffe,
    whose assets grew large
    while Bill was in charge
    by Enron around Global Crossings
 .
Inspired by the Terry-McAuliffe/Global-Crossing pot calling the Enron kettle black.  [Regarding the circumstances under which McAuliffe's purchase of $100,000 worth of Global Crossing stock enabled McAuliffe to later sell it for $18 million, see the January 29, 2002, Washington Times article at http://www.washtimes.com/national/20020129-95428706.htm.]    Direct URL for this January 30, 2002, PoliSat.Com Political-Satire Daily Update by Jim Wrenn, Political-Satire Editor@PoliSat.Com:  http://polisat.com/du2002/du020131.htm#20020130-01.™©.2002   Want to become a PoliSat.Com affiliate?  Click here for information and instructions. 
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January 29, 2002--PoliSat.Com's Political Satire Daily Update 20020129-01 ™© 2002 Jim Wrenn, editor@polisat.com.
To Ashcroft, please do what you must ... so Justice again is robust !  .
My name is the "Spirit of Justice."
Though John says my firm, naked bust is
the cause of a row, he seems not to know
it shows you what justice robust-is.
.
Exposing my breast, John, m'-boy
is not just a sculpturing ploy.
For justice, like breasts, exposure is best
to show what's a real real-McCoy.
.
I know you think curtains are best,
but status-quo-ante is best.
Remove the new curtains so folks can feel certain
that Ashcroft is keeping a-breast.
.
Photo credits: FILE--Attorney General John Ashcroft is shown standing under the  Spirit of Justice statue at the  J ustice Department in Washington in this Jan. 17, 2002, file photo. Drapes were occasionally hung in the Great Hall in front of the two aluminum Art Deco statues before formal events, but have now been purchased by the Justice Department for $8,000 and left hanging. (AP Photo/Joe Marquette, File:  http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/020129/168/112uq.html]
 .
Inspired by Ashcroft's having installed curtains to avoid the bare breast of the "Spirit of Justice" statue appearing in the background behind the podium at the Department of Justice.   Direct URL for this January 29, 2002, PoliSat.Com Political-Satire Daily Update by Jim Wrenn, Political-Satire Editor@PoliSat.Com:  http://polisat.com/du2002/du020131.htm#20020129-01.™©.2002   Want to become a PoliSat.Com affiliate?  Click here for information and instructions. 
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January 28, 2002--PoliSat.Com's Political Satire Daily Update 20020128-01 ™© 2002 Jim Wrenn, editor@polisat.com.
Campaign 2002 Palindromes .

    Partisan wonks parse dudes' rows: 2002's worse dudes' raps known as "I"-trap.
 .
Inspired by the fact that the Year 2002 is a palindrome.  To view PoliSat.Com's palindromic view of Campaign 2002, go here.  Direct URL for this January 28, 2002, PoliSat.Com Political-Satire Daily Update by Jim Wrenn, Political-Satire Editor@PoliSat.Com:  http://polisat.com/du2002/du020131.htm#20020128-01.™©.2002   Want to become a PoliSat.Com affiliate?  Click here for information and instructions. 
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January 27, 2002--PoliSat.Com's Political Satire Daily Update 20020127-01 ™© 2002 Jim Wrenn, editor@polisat.com.
The lawyer for Lindh makes contentions confusing the names of conventions .

    The lawyer for Lindh claims the Army's detention
    of Lindh clearly broke the Geneva Conventions.
    He's right on detention
    but wrong on conventions--
    It broke not "Geneva" but "Terror" conventions.
 .
Inspired by a January 26, 2002, on-line report by Time that John Walker Lindh's lawyer claims the Army's failure to give him access to Lindh in early December, 2001, violated the Geneva Convention.  Direct URL for this January 27, 2002, PoliSat.Com Political-Satire Daily Update by Jim Wrenn, Political-Satire Editor@PoliSat.Com:  http://polisat.com/du2002/du020131.htm#20020127-01.™©.2002   Want to become a PoliSat.Com affiliate?  Click here for information and instructions. 
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January 26, 2002--PoliSat.Com's Political Satire Daily Update 20020126-01 ™© 2002 Jim Wrenn, editor@polisat.com.
The proof, Walker's lawyer confides, will show that his brain had been fried..

    The lawyer for Walker predicts when he's tried
    the proof will reveal that his brain had been fried
    'cause Taliban teachings
    left Walker believing
    the thing he should do is to marry four wives.
 .
Inspired by a January 25, 2002, Washington Post report that John Walker Lindh had-- in becoming a Taliban-- contemplated having four wives.  Direct URL for this January 26, 2002, PoliSat.Com Political-Satire Daily Update by Jim Wrenn, Political-Satire Editor@PoliSat.Com:  http://polisat.com/du2002/du020131.htm#20020126-01.™©.2002   Want to become a PoliSat.Com affiliate?  Click here for information and instructions. 
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January 25, 2002--PoliSat.Com's Political Satire Daily Update 20020125-01 ™© 2002 Jim Wrenn, editor@polisat.com.
McCain/Feingold rules & Shays/Meehan tools...
view speech as a rite for political fools..

    The Enron implosion is breathing new life
    in moribund spores of political blights:   
    McCain/Feingold rules
    and Shays/Meehan tools
    want gov'ment to ration free-speech as a rite.

In light of the growing fever and shrillness of the renewed clamor for campaign finance "reform," I think it's worthwhile to direct visitors prior examples of satire/commentary on proposals for campaign finance "reform" as serious threats to free speech.  Here are the titles and links:
The campaign "reform" would delineate... with whom, when and why we associate:
                                                                                         [http://polisat.com/du2001/du010630.htm#20010626-01]
Reform rope-a-dope-- Free-speech on the ropes [http://polisat.com/rhymes/r_campfinref.htm#20000611-01]
What if McCain/Feingold were already the law? [http://polisat.com/rhymes/r_campfinref.htm#20000316-01]
Campaigning reforms... ignore all the norms.  [http://polisat.com/rhymes/r_campfinref.htm#20000802-01]
Campaigning reform-- Don't make it the norm. [http://polisat.com/rhymes/r_campfinref.htm#20000913-01]
Hey, Dubya--Read the First Amendment--Please! [http://polisat.com/rhymes/r_campfinref.htm#20000420-01]
We just want the facts without government hacks. [http://polisat.com/rhymes/r_campfinref.htm#20000904-01]
 .
Inspired by news reports that the implosion of Enron has re-ignited, re-fueled and re-energized the clamor for campaign finance "reform."  Direct URL for this January 25, 2002, PoliSat.Com Political-Satire Daily Update by Jim Wrenn, Political-Satire Editor@PoliSat.Com:  http://polisat.com/du2002/du020131.htm#20020125-01.™©.2002   Want to become a PoliSat.Com affiliate?  Click here for information and instructions. 
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January 24, 2002--PoliSat.Com's Political Satire Daily Update 20020124-01 ™© 2002 Jim Wrenn, editor@polisat.com.
Today Johnny Lindh...  is John Walker again.

    Today Johnny Lindh is John Walker again.
    Perhaps by tomorrow, he'll change it again.
    Perhaps Dad and Mom
    convinced their boy John
    to start self-discov'ry all over again.

    They claim that he's not an America-hater
    and surely he's not a recruit of Al Qaeda.
    Though John's mom and pop
    proclaim what he's not,
    it's clear what he is is a traitor.*
 .
Inspired by news stories about John Walker aka John Lindh aka John Walker Lindh aka Jihad Johnny aka Jonny bin Walker, etc. being arraigned today in federal court in Alexandria.  Direct URL for this January 24, 2002, PoliSat.Com Political-Satire Daily Update by Jim Wrenn, Political-Satire Editor@PoliSat.Com:  http://polisat.com/du2002/du020131.htm#20020124-01.™©.2002   Want to become a PoliSat.Com affiliate?  Click here for information and instructions.   *Regarding the "traitor" issue, go here:   [http://polisat.com/du2002/du020131.htm#20020115-01]
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January 23, 2002--PoliSat.Com's Political Satire Daily Update 20020123-01 ™© 2002 Jim Wrenn, editor@polisat.com.
New hope for PeTA--i.e., People Eating Tasty Animals*      *[People Eating Tasty Animals].

    A new coalition of rest'rants
    has formed to protect their investments
    from PeTA** fanatics                                      **[People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals]
    and A-L-F*** tactics                                        ***[Animal Liberation Front]
    exposing their pantheist vestments.

    A better approach I've envisioned:  
    send PeTA fanatics on missions
    in battle with forces
    on camels and horses--
    Click here for details for such mission.
 .
Inspired by a January 23, 2002, Cybercast News Service report **** about a campaign by the Center for Consumer Freedom to resist the consumer-terrorism tactics of PeTA ("People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals"),  the "Animal Liberation Front," and the "Earth Liberation Front."   Presumably, the Center for Consumer Protection can recruit some anti-terrorist volunteers from the ranks of a different "PeTA"-- i.e., People Eating Tasty Animals.    Direct URL for this January 23, 2002, PoliSat.Com Political-Satire Daily Update by Jim Wrenn, Political-Satire Editor@PoliSat.Com:  http://polisat.com/du2002/du020131.htm#20020123-01.™©.2002   Want to become a PoliSat.Com affiliate?  Click here for information and instructions.  ****[http://www.cnsnews.com/ViewCulture.asp?Page=\Culture\archive\200201\CUL20020123a.html] 
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January 22, 2002--PoliSat.Com's Political Satire Daily Update 20020122-01 ™© 2002 Jim Wrenn, editor@polisat.com.
Abroad, Robert Altman displays his fondness for leftist clichιs.

    Abroad, Robert Altman has trashed
    our flag-waving conduct as crass,
    His leftist clichιs
    so clearly convey
    he's stuck in the mindset of M*A*S*H.

    An obvious question you're dying to ask: 
    "Just what do you mean by the 'mindset of M*A*S*H' ?"
    It isn't a myst'ry--
    it's bending of hist'ry
    with Movies As Skewered Historiographs.

    Expressing disgust at our country today,
    he says he's considering staying away.
    His statements belie
    his vanity's cry
    for us to feel sad that he's staying away.

    But we who have finished our parenting tasks
    know Altman is acting as juveniles act: 
    Not getting his way,
    he's running away--
    he hasn't matured since direction of M*A*S*H.
 .
Inspired by a January 22, 2002 report** of Robert Altman's comments about America while abroad in England:   "When I see an American flag flying, it's a joke," he fumed to the Times of London yesterday. "This present government in America I just find disgusting, the idea that George Bush could run a baseball team successfully - he can't even speak! I just find him an embarrassment." Altman's feeling is so strong, he's thinking of moving to London for good. "I'd be very happy to stay here," he tells the paper. "There's nothing in America that I would miss at all."  **[http://www.pagesix.com/pagesix/9228.htm]   Direct URL for this January 22, 2002, PoliSat.Com Political-Satire Daily Update by Jim Wrenn, Political-Satire Editor@PoliSat.Com:  http://polisat.com/du2002/du020131.htm#20020122-01.™©.2002   Want to become a PoliSat.Com affiliate?  Click here for information and instructions.
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January 21, 2002--PoliSat.Com's Political Satire Daily Update 20020121-01 ™© 2002 Jim Wrenn, editor@polisat.com.
The speech King delivered describing his Dream... 
invoked, not disparaged, our Forefathers' Themes.
 
    Our Founders created a dream,
    which then was for slaves yet unseen,
    but yet what they made
    in time freed the slaves
    as seeds to fulfill the great dream.

    And yet those new seeds for the dream
    too long lay unnourished, as seen
    by Martin L. King,
    who made it his dream
    to teach us to honor that dream.

    At first when proposals were made
    declaring a Martin King Day,
    by some he was called
    a man who was flawed
    as grounds to oppose such a Day.

    The same folks, however, believed
    our Founders were giants indeed--
    'though some but not all
    by slav'ry were flawed-- 
    whose wisdom sowed freedom's new seeds.

    'Though slav'ry quite clearly was Washington's flaw,
    a monument tall and a special-day law
    we'd made in his name
    fulfilling our aim
    to honor his wisdom despite his great flaw.

    But now a new trend has begun:  
    Iconoclasts beating their drums
    say Washington's name
    on schools is a shame
    demanding the name be undone.

    Should not it be clear where this ends once it starts?
    With wisdom and guts FDR made his mark,
    but since he decreed: 
    "Intern Japanese,"
    no school-name could honor the great FDR.

    To honor the leaders of freedom's great cause
    with monuments, namesakes or special-day laws,
    the standard is seen
    in Dr. King's Dream--
    It's whether their greatness eclipses their flaws.

    You ask "Where was that in his speech on his Dream?"
    Our Founders' great wisdom was clearly his theme: 
    Their claim that all people
    have rights that are equal
    obliged this great nation to honor that creed.

    I can't but believe Dr. King would proclaim
    it's foolish for schools to rescind Founders' names.
    Instead he would say
    the schools should portray
    the wisdom of Founders for whom they were named.
    .
Inspired by an emerging campaign by some who demand that schools named for George Washington or other founders rescind such names on the ground that such founders are symbols of slavery.   Unlike those supporting such PeeCee campaign, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. invoked, rather than disparaged, the wisdom of our Founders despite their glaring flaws in failing to then apply the great principles of freedom and equality to eliminate slavery.   Direct URL for this January 21, 2002, PoliSat.Com Political-Satire Daily Update by Jim Wrenn, Political-Satire Editor@PoliSat.Com:  http://polisat.com/du2002/du020131.htm#20020121-01.™©.2002   Want to become a PoliSat.Com affiliate?  Click here for information and instructions.
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January 20, 2002--PoliSat.Com's Political Satire Daily Update 20020120-01 ™© 2002 Jim Wrenn, editor@polisat.com.
Today, this day-twenty of January completes a full-year since we had-to-worry . 

    Today, this day-twenty of January
    completes a full-year since we had-to-worry
    a new intern-priestess
    might write a new treatise
    on humming in oval-shape sanctuaries.

    Although we're confronted with new forms of terror,
    we miss not at all the Clintonian Era.
    To show our relief,
    we celebrate "PEACE"
    as Public Elation Aprθs Clinton Era.
.
Direct URL for this January 20, 2002, PoliSat.Com Political-Satire Daily Update by Jim Wrenn, Political-Satire Editor@PoliSat.Com:  http://polisat.com/du2002/du020131.htm#20020120-01.™©.2002   Want to become a PoliSat.Com affiliate?  Click here for information and instructions.
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January 19, 2002--PoliSat.Com's Political Satire Daily Update 20020119-01 ™© 2002 Jim Wrenn, editor@polisat.com.
To others demands Doris Goodwin, "Please do what I'm saying, not doing.". 

    A chef known as Doris Kearns Goodwin
    in kitchens where hist'ry is cookin',
    who charged other chefs
    with recipe thefts,
    did likewise-- the proof's in her puddin' .
.
Inspired by the Weekly Standard's January 18, 2002, internet publication of an "advance copy" of an article by Bo Crader** for its January 28, 2002, issue reporting that Doris Kearns Goodwin, the historian who in the early 1990's pointedly accused a fellow historian of using her words without sufficient attribution, had done likewise to other authors in the late 1980's.  Although recent reports indicated that another historian, Stephen Ambrose, had used the words of other authors with insufficient credit, Ambrose had not previously mounted the high-horse of the accuser against other writers, and in response to revelation of his own errors, he promptly apologized and arranged corrections.   **Correction:  In an embarrassing instance of carelessness on my part, I initially identified "Fred Barnes" rather than 'Bo Crader" as the author of the Weekly Standard article, and so to Bo I extend my sincere apology--Jim Wrenn, Editor.   Direct URL for this January 19, 2002, PoliSat.Com Political-Satire Daily Update by Jim Wrenn, Political-Satire Editor@PoliSat.Com:  http://polisat.com/du2002/du020131.htm#20020119-01.™©.2002   Want to become a PoliSat.Com affiliate?  Click here for information and instructions.
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January 18, 2002--PoliSat.Com's Political Satire Daily Update 20020118-01 ™© 2002 Jim Wrenn, editor@polisat.com.
For whom does the bell of truth ring?  "For Clinton," said Rather, "methinks".

    For whom does the bell of truth ring?
    "For Clinton," said Rather, who thinks:
    An "honest man" tries
    to merely tell "lies
    about any number of things".

    The role Rather plays is a "News-Wizard"
    empower'd for suppressing a truth-blizzard.
    In Two-Thousand-One
    he wasn't outdone--
    by winning again a Pee-Yew-Litzer.
.
Inspired by Dan Rather's winning of the coveted "Dishonors Award" for the "Flakiest Quote of the Year 2001" according to Media Research Center's "Dishonors Awards Dinner" on 01-17-02 for his May 15, 2001, assertion on the O'Reilly Factor that Clinton "is an honest man" since an "honest man ... lies about any number of things."   For more examples of Rather's extraordinary accomplishments, visit our Rather-Blather Archives.   Direct URL for this January 18, 2002, PoliSat.Com Political-Satire Daily Update by Jim Wrenn, Political-Satire Editor@PoliSat.Com:  http://polisat.com/du2002/du020131.htm#20020118-01.™©.2002   Want to become a PoliSat.Com affiliate?  Click here for information and instructions.
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January 17, 2002--PoliSat.Com's Political Satire Daily Update 20020117-01 ™© 2002 Jim Wrenn, editor@polisat.com.
There was an old Chairman named Lay... who kept a dead audit in caves.

    There was an old Chairman named Lay
    who kept a dead audit in caves
    It's ugly as spit
    and minus some chits,
    but think of the infamy saved.

    Of course, Enron spokesmen deny
    their audits were efforts to hide
    their unpaid disbursals
    because their commercials
    were urging the world to ask "Why?"

Inspired by my vivid memory of the Enron commercial featuring the poor fellow in metal suit resembling the body of the Tin Man in the Wizard of Oz as one of those people doomed to failure due to an unwillingness to ask "Why?"    Direct URL for this January 17, 2002, PoliSat.Com Political-Satire Daily Update by Jim Wrenn, Political-Satire Editor@PoliSat.Com:  http://polisat.com/du2002/du020131.htm#20020117-01.™©.2002.  Want to become a PoliSat.Com affiliate?  Click here for information and instructions.
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January 16, 2002--PoliSat.Com's Political Satire Daily Update 20020116-01 ™© 2002 Jim Wrenn, editor@polisat.com.
Though K-Mart may lose Martha Stewart, for others the skies will get bluer.

    In bankruptcy, K-Mart is skewered
    and might even lose Martha Stewart.
    Though skies becomes dark
    when sales become sparse,
    fear-not 'cause the skies will get bluer.

    Though K-Mart, of course, is a loser
    as dollars from sales become fewer,
    it serves to suppress
    Bazaar P-M-S:  
    Beguilement to Play Martha Stewart.

Inspired by a January 16, 2002, Yahoo/Reuters report that K-Mart's filing of Chapter-11 bankruptcy proceedings might lead Martha Stewart to sever her marketing relationship with K-Mart.  However, like most husbands whose wives shop at K-Mart, I fear such news is too good to be true.   Direct URL for this January 16, 2002, PoliSat.Com Political-Satire Daily Update by Jim Wrenn, Political-Satire Editor@PoliSat.Com:  http://polisat.com/du2002/du020131.htm#20020116-01.™©.2002
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January 15, 2002--PoliSat.Com's Political Satire Daily Update 20020115-01 ™© 2002 Jim Wrenn, editor@polisat.com.
Admissions by Lindh plus the proof of his capture ... 
would clearly establish his Treasonous Rapture.

    We'll soon hear from pundits and experts again
    "We can't prove the Treason by John Walker Lindh."
    For traitorous crimes our revered Constitution
    requires by two witnesses Treason be proven.

    Say experts:  "We can't prove that Treason's his crime
    for lack of two people who witnessed such crime."
    The experts are wrong in my humble opinion--
    I'm sure there'll be proof he's a traitorous minion.

    The Fifth and Miranda don't cover admissions
    proclaimed by one captured on battlefield missions
    in service to those who attempt demolition
    of all we hold dear in our freedom dominion.

    "I trained with Al Qaeda," John Lindh told his captors,
    which shows that he knew 't'was his country they're after.
    He also made statements to show that he knew
    the Taliban army supported them too.

    This proves that the knew that the army he joined
    supported the terror Al Qaeda had coined.
    And so, what remains for the two-witness rule
    to prove he's a Traitor, an Al Qaeda tool?

    The oath of two soldiers who witnessed his capture
    will finish the proof of his Treasonous Rapture.

Inspired by the debate over whether the evidence could satisfy the Constitutional requirements to prove John Walker Lindh committedTreason.  Direct URL for this January 15, 2002, PoliSat.Com Political-Satire Daily Update by Jim Wrenn, Political-Satire Editor@PoliSat.Com:  http://polisat.com/du2002/du020131.htm#20020115-01.™©.2002
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January 14, 2002--PoliSat.Com's Political Satire Daily Update 20020114-01 ™© 2002 Jim Wrenn, editor@polisat.com.
We now have a POTUS who faints ... instead of a POTUS who feints.

    We hope from now-on George refrains
    from eating while watching a game.
    To Dubya we're asking:
    "Avoid multi-tasking--
    It's not 'Presidential' to 'faint.' "

    But then in response to complaints
    that Dubya's a POTUS who faints,
    supporters of Dubya
    asserted it's better
    than having a POTUS who feints.

Inspired by Dubya's fainting spell on 01-13-02 when he choked on a pretzel while watching the NFL playoffs.  Direct URL for this January 14, 2002, PoliSat.Com Political-Satire Daily Update by Jim Wrenn, Political-Satire Editor@PoliSat.Com:  http://polisat.com/du2002/du020131.htm#20020114-01.™©.2002
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January 13, 2002--PoliSat.Com's Political Satire Daily Update 20020113-01 ™© 2002 Jim Wrenn, editor@polisat.com.
A Waxman impostor declares ... he wants to help owners of shares.

    It seems Enron's bankruptcy action
    brought forth an impostor for Waxman
    proclaiming he cares
    for owners of shares--
    The real one would tax 'em and wax 'em.

Inspired by the shocking sound of Henry Waxman proclaiming the need to champion the interests of shareholders.   Direct URL for this January 13, 2002, PoliSat.Com Political-Satire Daily Update by Jim Wrenn, Political-Satire Editor@PoliSat.Com:  http://polisat.com/du2002/du020131.htm#20020113-01.™©.2002
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January 12, 2002--PoliSat.Com's Political Satire Daily Update 20020112-01 ™© 2002 Jim Wrenn, editor@polisat.com.
The statue depicting the story ... of Firemen who hoisted Old Glory.

    It surely should not be a myst'ry
    that statues designed to show hist'ry
    should show what occurred
    and not what's preferred, 
    or else what is shown would be squishtry*                             [*squishy history = squishtry]

    'Though statues designed to be symbols
    depict things they merely resemble,
    the ones that present
    specific events
    should show what occurred, not dissemble.

    A statue depicting the story
    of three who were hoisting Old Glory
    should show who they were
    and shouldn't defer
    to Pee-Cee political whoring.

    For six men who made our hearts tremble 
    by raising our Flag as a symbol,
    a statue ordained
    their faces and names
    as soldiers whose acts made them symbols.

Inspired by a January 12, 2002, Washington Times report about a controversy over whether a statue depicting the three firemen who raised the Flag at the WTC site during post-911 rescue efforts should accurately depict the three particular firemen or symbolically depict the diversity of the Fire Department of New York City.  When an individual's conduct makes him** a symbol of something larger than himself, we should accurately memorialize the individual whose conduct merged his individuality into a greater-than-self symbolic act rather than ignoring his individuality by portraying him symbolically.  To symbolically portray such individual  [**If you're a victimologist, interpret "him" as "him/her" etc.]   Direct URL for this January 12, 2002, PoliSat.Com Political-Satire Daily Update by Jim Wrenn, Political-Satire Editor@PoliSat.Com:  http://polisat.com/du2002/du020131.htm#20020112-01.™©.2002
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January 11, 2002--PoliSat.Com's Political Satire Daily Update 20020111-01 ™© 2002 Jim Wrenn, editor@polisat.com.
In twelve-years of coaching I'm glad ... no dad was a "hockey-team dad".

    In Little League, T-ball and soccer
    my records as coach were all floppers,
    but parents of those
    on teams that I coached
    were classy as mothers and fathers.

    For twelve-years all moms and all dads
    of all of the lasses and lads
    on teams that I coached
    showed class not reproach
    in contrast to "hockey-team dad."
.
Inspired by my fond memories of my twelve years as a volunteer coaching Little League, T-ball and soccer and that throughout those twelve years, despite my consistently losing records, virtually every parent of every player always displayed stoicism, class and sportsmanship.  Never was I unfortunate enough to have a player with a parent exhibiting the uncivilized behavior shown by Thomas Junta, whom a jury today convicted of involuntary manslaughter in a parent/coach fight at a hockey-team practice, as reported by Yahoo/Court-TV.    Direct URL for this January 11, 2002, PoliSat.Com Political-Satire Daily Update by Jim Wrenn, Political-Satire Editor@PoliSat.Com:  http://polisat.com/du2002/du020131.htm#20020111-01.™©.2002
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January 10, 2002--PoliSat.Com's Political Satire Daily Update 20020110-01 ™© 2002 Jim Wrenn, editor@polisat.com.
Blind-faith is the media's baggage... that climate by Man has been ravaged.

    Blind-faith is the media's baggage
    that climate by Man has been ravaged--
    That's why they'll stay mum
    that Two-Thousand-One
    just slightly ... was warmer than average 

    Their new Pantheopian* Priesthood               (*Pronounced: panth-ee--oh--pee-un. Defined here.)
    views Earth 'stead of Man as Supreme-Good,
    so progress by Man
    exploiting the land
    is therefore presumed to be least-good.

    Imbued with the fervor of faith,
    the pantheist view they purvey
    professes that Man
    belongs to the Land
    instead of the opposite way.

    As homage to pantheist psalters,
    upon Pantheopian altars
    we sacrifice billions
    but only spend millions
    on risks of a far greater slaughter.

    What's meant by "a far greater slaughter"?
    Read-on, and you'll learn what you oughta:
    An asteroid show
    just three days ago
    for Earth was a really close-caller.

    This month, on the seventh we spied
    a mountain-size bullet go by.
    We lucky it missed us
    because if it hit us,
    a space big as France would have fried.

    That's why we should transfer the billions
    that fund Pantheopian missions
    to fund a crash project
    for lasers or rockets
    as ways to prevent our extinction.
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Inspired by report that 2001 was only "slightly warmer than average" [http://unisci.com/stories/20021/0109023.htm] yet the "global warming" clamor continues as a blind-faith tenet of the media and continues to motivate governments to waste billions to battle that illusory threat while spending mere millions in a patently insufficient effort to develop ways to detect and prevent a more likely and more catastrophic event--i.e., impact by an asteroid such as the one that just missed Earth only three days ago, which was large enough to have destroyed an area as large as France-- see AP/Yahoo report on January 8, 2002,  and CNN report on January 7, 2002.   See also PoliSat.Com's prescient update on April 23, 2001 [http://polisat.com/du2001/du010430.htm#20010423-01]  See also the Times of London report on September 9, 2000, about another close-call a mere 15 months ago as previously explained by PoliSat.Com on September 9, 2000 [.http://polisat.com/rhymes/r_pantheopians.htm#20000909-01]   See also "Global-Warming or Scientific Flatulence? T-Minus Seven Years and Counting" [http://wrenncom.com/focus2001/0619-01.asp] with particular focus on the real risks of catastrophe [http://wrenncom.com/focus2001/0619-01.asp#T-7] far greater than those theorized by the pantheopians.    Direct URL for this January 10, 2002, PoliSat.Com Political-Satire Daily Update by Jim Wrenn, Political-Satire Editor@PoliSat.Com:  http://polisat.com/du2002/du020131.htm#20020110-01.™©.2002
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January 9, 2002--PoliSat.Com's Political Satire Daily Update 20020109-01 ™© 2002 Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com.
The ads claiming Paula is "sexy" elicit complaints and invectives.

    The news networks hurled their invectives
    at ads claiming Paula is sexy.
    Their brouhaha tries
    to glibly disguise
    their own vain attempts to be "sexy."

    They once had a goal for attainment
    of news in objective arrangement
    for facts to be told,
    but that noble goal
    became long ago "infotainment"

    But is there a person in media land
    who just like Joe Friday wants "Just the facts, Mam"?
    There's only one man--
    The King of C-SPAN,
    whose first name is Brian and last name is Lamb.

    But ratings on habits of viewing
    show all but a few are eschewing
    the programs unstinting
    in simply presenting
    the spectrum of facts without skewing.

    It's not that they're wrong in decrying
    that "sex" must be used in enticing
    the public to choose
    the viewing of "news"
    'cause most folks prefer cake and icing.

    It's sad that we have-to concede
    that news must be "sexy" indeed
    'cause programs of facts
    will only attract
    the bores just like you and like me.

    What would attract viewers to where they belong?
    I'll tell you a way that I've known all along:  
    It is, I'll admit, an effete plan
    to make folks addicted to C-SPAN:  
    Dress Brian in speedos and Linda in thongs.
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Inspired by recent reports of news-networks castigating CNN for broadcasting a promo characterizing Paula Zahn as "sexy." Direct URL for this particular PoliSat.Com Political-Satire Daily Update by Jim Wrenn, Political-Satire Editor@PoliSat.Com:  http://polisat.com/du2002/du020131.htm#20020109-01.™©.2002
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January 8, 2002--PoliSat.Com's Political Satire Daily Update 20020108-01 ™© 2002 Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com.
In 2002 we've achieved the First Annivers'ry of "PEACE".

    Divining a name for the Post-Clinton Era, 
    we've coined the right name and it couldn't be fairer: 
    Disguised as P-C,
    the acronym "PEACE"
    means "Public Elation Aprθs Clinton Error."
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Inspired by recognition that the month of January, 2002, should be celebrated as PEACE Month-- i.e., the First Annual Celebration of "Public Elation Aprθs Clinton Era Error" at http://clintonliebrary.com/peacemonth.html.   Direct URL for this particular PoliSat.Com Political-Satire Daily Update by Jim Wrenn, Political-Satire Editor@PoliSat.Com:  http://polisat.com/du2002/du020131.htm#20020108-01.™©.2002
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January 7, 2002--PoliSat.Com's Political Satire Daily Update 20020107-01 ™© 2002 Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com.
The first month this year is perceived as First Annivers'ry of "PEACE".

    We've now heard some experts on terror opine
    that Clinton missed catching bin Laden three times,
    but Bill answers back: 
    "Our proof was too slack,
    or he was in places we just couldn't find."

    But even if Bill can't be blamed for such errors,
    we're glad we've escaped the Clintonian Era
    as this month of '02 is perceived
    as first annivers'ry when "PEACE"
    means "People Elated Aprθs Clinton Era."
.
Inspired by recognition that the month of January, 2002, should be celebrated as PEACE Month-- i.e., the First Annual Celebration of "People Elated Aprθs Clinton Era Error" at http://clintonliebrary.com/peacemonth.html.   Direct URL for this particular PoliSat.Com Political-Satire Daily Update by Jim Wrenn, Political-Satire Editor@PoliSat.Com:  http://polisat.com/du2002/du020131.htm#20020107-01.™©.2002
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January 6, 2002--PoliSat.Com's Political Satire Daily Update 20020106-01 ™© 2002 Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com.
Can stink-bombs developed by science beat speech in political science?.

    New tools to enforce crowd compliance
    are stink-bombs developed by science,
    but odorous reeking
    can't rival the speaking
    of folks in political science.
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Inspired by a January 6, 2002, AP/Yahoo report that scientists have developed powerful "odor" bombs as crowd-control weapons.   Direct URL for this particular PoliSat.Com Political-Satire Daily Update by Jim Wrenn, Political-Satire Editor@PoliSat.Com:  http://polisat.com/du2002/du020131.htm#20020106-01.™©.2002
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January 5, 2002--PoliSat.Com's Political Satire Daily Update 20020105-01 ™© 2002 Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com.
The "1 Redskn" plate means honor not hate..

    The Left Coast, our most-Pee-Cee Land
    protects us with license-plate bans
    against "Redskn" plates
    as symbols of "hate"
    instead of affection by fans.

    A team-name's a quest for mythology--
    an honor, not grounds for apology,
    and those who pretend
    it's meant to offend
    are folks who prefer victimology.
.
Inspired by a January 5, 2002, article in the Washington Times about California requiring former Washington Redskin player, Dale Atkeson, to surrender the "1 Redskn" license plates he received from his wife as Christmas gifts seven years ago.   Direct URL for this particular PoliSat.Com Political-Satire Daily Update by Jim Wrenn, Political-Satire Editor@PoliSat.Com:   http://polisat.com/du2002/du020131.htm#20020105-01.™©.2002
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January 4, 2002--PoliSat.Com's Political Satire Daily Update 20020104-01 ™© 2002 Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com.
The bio-chip bar-code identity could end Yuppies' quests for identities.

    A new bio-chip can inventively
    give people a bar-code identity,
    so Yuppies can hope
    to learn how to cope
    without need to search for identities.
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Inspired by a January 4, 2002, EE-Times.Com article on emerging technology for injecting/implanting computer chips into humans to function as "bar code" identifiers as well as performing other functions.  Direct URL for this particular PoliSat.Com Political-Satire Daily Update by Jim Wrenn, Political-Satire Editor@PoliSat.Com:  http://polisat.com/du2002/du020131.htm#20020104-01.™©.2002
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January 3, 2002--PoliSat.Com's Political Satire Daily Update 20020103-01 ™© 2002 Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com.
O'Reilly can sometimes be quite hard to take... 
but comments by Penn about Bill take the cake..

    For many who earn a good living pretending to be what they're not
    their skills in pretending convince 'em that wisdom equates with their thoughts.
    Perhaps it's their job of pretending that burdens their minds with self-doubt
    and gives them obsessive compulsions to show intellectual clout.
    Obsessed with the fear that their silence leads people to think they are fools
    they open their mouths with opinions, and quickly all doubt is removed.
    It's true that O'Reilly is pompous and sometimes can be hard to take,
    but saying he's worse than bin Laden shows Penn 'stead of Bill takes the cake.
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Inspired by a January 2, 2002, New York Daily News article quoting the intellectual heavyweight, Sean Penn, as saying he'd like to trade Bill O'Reilly for Osama Bin Laden and likening O'Reilly to Hitler.  Direct URL for this particular PoliSat.Com Political-Satire Daily Update by Jim Wrenn, Political-Satire Editor@PoliSat.Com:  http://polisat.com/du2002/du020131.htm#20020103-01.™©.2002
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January 2, 2002--PoliSat.Com's Political Satire Daily Update 20020102-01 ™© 2002 Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com.
The Left proclaims Christians are zealots possessed ... 
but tol'rance for all is what Dubya has stressed.

    Buchannan's predicting the Death of the West
    while Leftists claim Christians are zealots possessed.
    Predictions by Pat won't prevail,
    and claims by the Leftists will fail
    'cause tol'rance for all is what Dubya has stressed.
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Inspired by previews of Pat Buchannan's new book, The Death of the West, and by a report in Greg Pierce's Inside Politics column in the January 2, 2002, edition of the Washington Times describing the emerging strategy of the anti-religion wing of the Democratic Party to begin demonizing the "Christian Right" by describing Islamic fanaticism as "right wing," even though Bush, whom they would portray as a captive of the "Christian Right," has consistently and unequivocally set an example of religious tolerance in the wake of the 9-11 terrorist attack, and even though virtually all other nationally significant "leaders" of the "Christian Right" have similarly expressed consistent and unequivocal support for religious tolerance.   It seems that the overt bigotry is emanating from the anti-religion wing of the Democratic Party rather than from the "Christian Right."  (FYI-- I'm a non-theist, but I'm not an anti-theist as are many, if not most, atheists.)  Direct URL for this particular PoliSat.Com Political-Satire Daily Update by Jim Wrenn, Political-Satire Editor@PoliSat.Com:   http://polisat.com/du2002/du020131.htm#20020102-01.™©.2002
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January 1, 2002--PoliSat.Com's Political Satire Daily Update 20020101-01 ™© 2002 Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com.
The Eve of a New Year made safer with terrorists sent to their Maker. (NSC)

    We're sure for the Eve of Two-Thousand and Two
    a plan for mass-murder the terrorists brewed,
    and so we take pride
    the New Year arrived
    to greet them with failure in Two-Thousand-Two.

    For that we must pause and say "Thanks"
    to heroes who serve in our ranks
    to help the Al Qaeda
    receive from their Maker
    not beautiful virgins but angst.
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 Direct URL for this particular PoliSat.Com Political-Satire Daily Update by Jim Wrenn, Political-Satire Editor@PoliSat.Com:   http://polisat.com/du2002/du020131.htm#20020101-01.™©.2002
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"NSC" identifies a particular Daily-Update as an exercise of the editorial privilege to express non-satirical commentary-- Jim Wrenn, Editor.

"pee-cee" means "politically correct."

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