|
·support our
troops, support Bush, support Cheney, support victory in Iraq, support victory in Afghanistan,
Clinton Liebrary, http://PoliSat.Com
, PoliSatDOTcom, Salute America's Heroes, Fallen Heroes Fund, oppose Gore's Global Warming theory, support milblogs, Michael Yon, Pat Dollard, BlackFive, MilBlogs, MilBlogging, Michael Yon, Mudville Gazette, HotAir.Com, JawaReport, PajamasMedia , VictoryCaucus , VetsForFreedom ,
FreedomsWatch , DayByDayCartoon , WrennCom.Com , Video , Political Satire, Politics, News, oppose MoveOn.Org, oppose Code Pink, oppose DailyKos, oppose ANSWER, support PoliSat.Com, support WrennCom.Com, ·
|
|
PeTA.
Honoring
the Anti-Specieism Nobility of People
for the Ethical
Treatment of Animals
(PeTA) In Their Heroic Struggles Against .People
Eating Tasty Animals. Learn the Truth about
the
Inhumanity of Man by experiencing the Exhilarating Wisdom of
PeTA.
PeTA
Index:.
Anderson,Pamela.
Animals-Are-People-Too.(no
kidding) Ants-In-My-Pants. Apes--Personhood.
Arthur,Bea.
Ask-An-Animal.
Ask-Little-Red-Hen. Ask-Mr.-Lobster.
Ask-Mr.-Steer. Ask-Ms-Chicken.
Ask-Ms-Cow. Back-To-Nature.
Baldwin,Alec. Brown-Recluse-Spiders. Cockroaches.
Crab-Lice. Crotch-Hair-Ad-by-PeTA.
Fashion-Update. Flies. Fungus-Atleticus-Podus.
Fungus-Jockus-Itchus.
Got-Beer?. Got-Better-Milk?.
Glossary/Terminology. Just-Ask-An-Animal.
Martha-Stewart-Menace. Maggots.
Mites. Moral-Dilemma.
Navratilova,Martina. People-Are-Animals-Too.
Personhood. Philosophy.
Rhymes about PeTA. Segal,Steven.
Sharks. Snakes-Are-People-Too.
Stewart,Martha. Tax-Meat.
Ticks. Wasps'-Honoraria.
.
Animals
Are People Too!.
back to PeTA Index..
ants.
brown-recluse-spiders. chickens.
cockroaches. cows.
crab-lice. flies. fungus-atleticus-podus.
fungus-jock-itchus. grizzlies.
hens. lobsters.
maggots. mites.
snakes. steers.
ticks. wasps.
Fashion
Updates:. back
to PeTA Index..
Crotch-Hair-On-Parade.
People Are Animals Too:.
back to PeTA Index..
Anderson, Pamela.
Arthur,
Bea. Baldwin, Alec.
Navratilova,
Martina. Segal,
Steven. Stewart,
Martha.
Philosophy:.
back to
PeTA Index..
Ending
enslavement of animals for food. Glossary
& Terminology. Human Rights Versus
Animal Rights.
Just-Ask-An-Animal:..
back to
PeTA Index.
Ask-Ms-Cow. Ask-Ms-Chicken.
Ask-Little-Red-Hen. Ask-Mr.-Lobster.
Ask-Mr.-Steer.
Cockroaches:.
The
Pain of Being Stepped-On by Humans--
How humans should learn to respect a species that evolved long before the
dinosaurs and will long outlast the earth-plundering humans. Order this
eye-opening book at
AmAZombie.com.
or Barns-Ain't-Noble.
©
1999
Flies:.
back to PeTA Index.
High-Tech
Hidden-Cameras/Hidden-Microphones reveal the excruciating suffering of ordinary
houseflies being swatted in restaurants for the frivolous purpose of satisfying
their customers' anti-fly .specieism.
Order this two-hour, surround-sound video-tape at AmAZombie.com.
or Barns-Ain't-Noble.
© 1999
Maggots
(the
real ones, not federal bureaucrats):.
back to PeTA Index..
Habitat
Destruction-- Learn
how humans' narcissistic practice of embalming and burying their dead loved ones
deprives maggots of countless habitats that nature intended them to have.
Learn how the funeral industry, a typical profit-hungry capitalist form of
exploitation, has brainwashed otherwise well-meaning people into having their
loved ones buried (or cremated or, God forbid, frozen for possible re-animation
with future technology) rather than letting them rot on the ground to provide
needed habitats for maggots. Order How
to Be An Organ-Donor for Maggots, a
time-lapse video tape compressing the decay of a human body into two hours to
reveal the miracle of life for maggots. Available at .AmAZombie.com.
or .Barns-Ain't-Noble.
© 1999
Crab-Lice:.
The
Anti-STD Holocaust-- Learn
how the American obsession with cleanliness leads otherwise well-meaning people
to prevent the use of their pubic-hair regions as natural habitats for
crab-lice. Order Crabs-R-US,
a captivating video-tape using a microscopic lens to show crab-lice frolicking
in the pubic hair of a nature-loving, non-speciesist human. Available at .AmAZombie.com.
Back To Nature-- Ending Enslavement of Animals for Food:.
The
Loving Ways of Mother Nature-- In stark
contrast to the horrible slaughter-house deaths faced by cattle, pigs, chickens,
and turkeys to satisfy humans' lust for meat, this video shows the forms of
death lovingly provided by Mother Nature for such animals if allowed to live in
the wild as intended by Mother Nature. See the soothing death of a pig
being eaten alive by a pack of hyenas; See a comforting time-lapse movie
compressing a cow's death by starvation into two hours; See chicken being
lovingly suffocated by the ever-tightening grasp of a boa constrictor and then
swallowed; See a wide variety of cattle, pigs, chickens and turkeys enjoying
being frozen to death in loving winters, dying of thirst during merciful
droughts, and dying of disease from caring microbes and natural carcinogens. This comprehensive video collection is available at
.AmAZombie.com.
or .Barns-Ain't-Noble.
Brown-Recluse-Spiders
Honoraria:.
To honor those
courageous, non-speciesist PeTA followers who willingly sacrificed themselves to
Brown-Recluse bites rather than trying to drive those wonders of nature from
their flower beds, window-casements, picnic tables, sleeping bags, etc., we list
the names of those selfless individuals in green
denoting their
belief in their equality
with all animals under Mother
Nature:
Ima Fahlowere Juan Bahyeetduzit
Ayem B. Tenondeeass E. Twaseenmashu
Will DaVenumhert Shirley E. Twill Sid
Dingondaprivy May Kenluvowtdor Wiley
Satondapordapahdy Wright Ondapecker © 1999
Ants-In-My-Pants
Award:.
back to PeTA Index..
At an "Ants Are
Civilized Too!" press conference, noted celebrity-follower of the PeTA
philosophy, "Aunt"*
Bea Arthur, described a heart-warming anecdote
typifying the exciting lives of followers of the PeTA philosophy:
"While sitting on a blanket at an all-veggie, back-to-nature picnic
enjoying the aroma of soy-dogs being cooked over a camp-fire, I felt ants
crawling into my panties. The old me would have jumped up, run screaming
to my car, removed my panties and squashed those ants, but the PeTA-me knew
better. Instead of panicking, I relaxed and enjoyed the sensation of the
colony of ants constructing a habitat in my special area. I'm sure they'll
be considerate enough to move-out in a few weeks." (*Pronounced
"ant" by sophisticates.) © 1999
Moral-Dilemma-Solution
Award: Human Rights Can Be No Higher Than Animal Rights:.
back to PeTA Index..
In an astonishing recording, Ahaid
Phullamusch, Ph.D., MD, HCLD, MTV, renowned philosopher and moralist, described
the cathartic incident giving him insight into the morally proper way to
reconcile animal rights and human rights on a basis of equality rather than specieism.
While hiking through a wilderness area armed only with a rifle for
self-protection from gun-loving survivalists, he suddenly encountered a
mother grizzly on the verge of charging a young man in camouflage frozen in fear
with a jammed hunting rifle (the standard 50-calibre machine gun typically used
by hunting enthusiasts).
Being an expert marksman, Dr. Phullamusch
instinctively raised his rifle and aimed at the bear, but just as he was on the
verge of squeezing the trigger he suddenly realized he was about to
thoughtlessly and callously make a decision requiring keen moral insight.
With the lightning-fast mind typical of virtually all PhD's with an MD, he
suddenly realized the hunter was threateningly trespassing in the grizzly's
habitat, and that were the grizzly threateningly "trespassing" on the
hunter's property, the law (and morality) would allow the hunter to kill the
grizzly. Simultaneously (as often occurs with great intellect), Dr.
Phullamusch astutely realized that only by elevating human rights above animal
rights could he justify shooting the grizzly, which (he really meant
"who"), after all, was only defending herself and her cubs from a
threateningly trespassing human.
In the exhilaration of this cathartic
realization, he dropped his rifle as he tried to remain objectively
dispassionate while watching the grizzly's vivisection of the hunter.
While writhing in intellectual delirium as he dictated this morally historic
moment into his hand-held recorder, he failed to notice that the bear had turned
her attention to him. As she charged toward him, he reflexively reached
for his rifle, but then, in a moment of perfect moral insight, he realized that
the bear was entitled to perceive him as being just as threatening as the hunter
and that, therefore, it would be morally wrong for him to kill the bear.
He courageously continued dictating as the
bear began devouring him, and his last, barely (no pun intended) audible words
were: "Please, not THERE!" Of course, the bear replied
with a highly-sophisticated grunting sound, which, when translated, meant
"But that's the best part." © 1999
Snakes-Are-People
Too!.
back
to PeTA Index..
Pamela Anderson,
intellectual powerhouse from "Baywatch" and strong supporter of PeTA,
explains how she overcame her phobia of snakes: "Like everyone, I was
always very afraid of all snakes. They're so long! I was shocked
when I was told that some people even eat them as delicacies! I was
always afraid of going camping because I was afraid I'd encounter one in my
sleeping bag. When I was told that some are harmless, it was hard to
swallow, but when I finally opened-up to the idea, I was quite surprised.
I even got one of my own. To overcome my phobia against camping, I started
keeping one in my bed. Of course, I had to take a lot of anti-venom shots,
but now, I don't fear snakes at all except the really big ones that might try to
swallow me." © 1999
Ask
Mr. Lobster:.
back
to PeTA Index..
Mr. Lobster, do you like being killed instantly by
being dropped into boiling water to be eaten by a human? Mr. Lobster says:
"Oh, no! I much prefer being left to the tender mercies of Mother Nature,
who designed a special fish with very powerful jaws that crack-open our shells
but kindly let us live as they're eating the soft meat inside so our brains can
enjoy the sensations of being eaten until they finish." © 1999
Ask
Mr. Steer:.
back
to PeTA Index..
Mr. Steer, do you like being slaughtered to become
hamburger or steak for humans? Mr. Steer says, "Of course not!
I would prefer the choices Mother Nature provided to my ancestors before we were
enslaved by humans: Death by starvation, disease or slaughter by a noble
wild animal. The luckiest ones experienced slow, agonizing deaths by
starvation or disease, but most of them experienced the death of being eaten
alive by a noble predator such as a tiger, lion, bobcat, etc." © 1999
Ask
Ms. Cow:.
back
to PeTA Index..
Ms. Cow, do you like having your milk sucked from
your teats by men? Ms. Cow says, "Of course not! If they don't
have cold hands, they have sharp teeth!" © 1999
Ask
the Little Red Hen:.
back
to PeTA Index..
Little Red Hen, do you like being forced to produce
eggs to be stolen by humans? Little Red Hen says, "Of course not!
Those eggs are my property. If you ask any egg, it would say it would
prefer to be a chicken rather than an omelet-- Just ask
any chicken. © 1999
Ask
Ms Chicken:.
back
to PeTA Index..
Ms. Chicken, do like the sudden death of being
beheaded to become Sunday dinner for cruel humans? "Of course not!
People think we're so stupid-- why do you think they use the phrase, 'running
around like a chicken with its head cut-off'? If humans are so smart, how
come they can't run around after having their heads cut-off? Was Marie
Antionette able to run around after the cut-off her head? We
much prefer death at the hands of the noble chicken-hawk, which swoops down
majestically from the sky, grabs us with its sharp claws, and carries us to its
nest where it lets us live while it uses its sharp beak to slice us open and
feed our innards to its charming baby hawks."
Wasps' Honoraria:. back
to PeTA Index..
To honor those brave PeTA
followers who endure painful wasp-stings rather than removing their
nest-habitats from unwanted places (i.e.-- on porch lights, picnic tables, lawn
furniture, garages, automobiles headliners, bathroom vents, attics, closets,
shower stalls, etc.), we list the names of those selfless individuals in
green denoting
their belief in their equality
with
all animals under Mother
Nature:
Arl
Waizeondenoce Arnie Zbuttwice Vin Numeenmahpeckar Annie
Hoytsmahteets
Rett Owndabawls Ron Meeawfdarode Steve
Enomdathoits Mae Kamaboobswell
© 1999
The
Martha Stewart Menace: Extermination of Mites.
back to PeTA Index..
Responsible PeTA members are now
trying to organize a boycott of all Martha Stewart
programs and products to protest the inanimane *
and anal practice of obsessive house-dusting, which destroys an important
habitat for the dust-mite and threatens with extinction those mites who Nature
intended to inhabit naturally-occurring dusty surfaces on bookshelves, coffee
tables, end tables, husbands, and other inanimate objects.
Fungus,
Atleticus Podus.
back to PeTA Index..
In an eye-opening video-tape, Steven
Segal, famed kickboxing expert and
follower of the PeTA philosophy, provides persuasive demonstration that
allowing the space between one's toes to serve as a habitat for the fungus atleticus
podus (rather than exterminating the fungus with environmentally dangerous
chemicals such as Dessenex) actually enhances the self-defense effectiveness of
kickboxing-- especially when performed barefooted. Order Stinky-Feet
'R' US (two-hour video-tape) at AmAZombie.com
or Barns-Ain't-Noble.
© 1999
Fungus,
Jockus Itchus.
In this two-hour educational video-tape compellingly
demonstrating that it's unnecessary to use dangerous chemicals such as Tinactin
to cruelly and needlessly kill, rather than gently subdue, the fungus jockus
itchus, tennis-great and PeTA follower, Martina
Navratilova and a partner show how the gentle aplication of acidus
salivus can relieve the itching without killing the fungus. Order (a
tastefully produced, two-hour video-tape) at .AmAZombie.com.
or .Barns-Ain't-Noble. (Proceeds to be donated to the Jockus Itchus Fungus Foundation) ©
1999
Ticks:
Tiny Voices Pleading for Understanding:.
back to PeTA Index..
Alec Baldwin, critically acclaimed actor and PeTA follower, narrates this
eye-opening video-tape exposing the myths about ticks propagated by anti-PeTA
fanatics. His powerful narration inspires humans to display compassion
toward ticks by emulating the passive tolerance that highly intelligent whales
exhibit toward barnicles and other small parasitic creatures that lovingly
attach themselves to whales' bodies. In a stunning finale, an extreme
close-up of Baldwin's face shows that his facial mole is actually a tick nestled
comfortably on the facial habitat tolerantly provided by Baldwin.
Tax-Meat.Com:.
back to PeTA Index..
In yet another stroke of
enlightenment, the wise folks at PeTA are courageously demanding that the
Government protect us from ourselves by taxing meat to discourage us from eating
it. For enlightenment, visit Tax-Meat.Com.,
which will give you insight into the benefits of dietary practices that are
morally superior to eating the flesh of animals enslaved for human food.
For example, you'll probably see the wisdom of the vegetarian
recipe.
Crotch-Hair
On Parade:.
back to PeTA Index..
With what all knowledgeable and
cultured people in the arts community know to be artistically bold panache, PeTA's
bikini-bottom-with-crotch-hair advertisement shows how tacky it is to
wear "fur trim" -- especially when the shapely female is being forced
by our puritanical culture to wear a bikini bottom at all. All
right-thinking people know that modern women's desire to wear fur is the product
of thousands of years of conditioning by men beginning with the pre-historic,
patriarchal, animal-hating societies in which the cave men forced their mates to
wear fur solely to prevent competing males from seeing their most attractive
features.
Got Beer?.
back to PeTA Index.
In response to outrage by MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Driving), PeTA graciously
withdrew its March, 2000, "Got Beer" ad campaign despite its noble
purpose of drawing attention to the deadly dangers of dairy milk and the cruelty
of the dairy industry in keeping dairy cows engorged. (However, the
most-recent Zogby poll of dairy cows indicated that 78% of them prefer
engorgement over udder-augmentation as a way of attracting mammary-fixated bulls,
and only 22% preferred saline-solution implants.) Undeterred by the
apparent willingness of such a large percentage of dairy cows to permit
themselves to be exploited in such a degrading way just to satisfy a typical
bull's concept of an ideal cow, PeTA launched a new, wholly humanitarian
campaign to wean America from dairy milk while enrolling as many brainwashed dairy cows as
possible in re-education camps to teach them that "less is more" with
respect to udders. PeTA's new campaign will be called, "Got-Better-Milk?"
Got Better
Milk?.
back to PeTA Index.
This "Got Better Milk?" campaign by PeTA won't make sense unless you
first learn how PeTA's March, 2000, "Got Beer" campaign against the
dairy industry backfired, so click here if you haven't
already studied the "Got Beer" campaign.
In a true stroke of genius following withdrawal of the "Got
Beer" campaign, PeTA devised a new nationwide campaign designed
dramatically reduce the demand for dairy milk by quickly gaining widespread
support among American males. Despite PeTA's effort to keep the plan a
closely guarded secret until the yet-to-be-determined date for publicly
launching the campaign, key elements of the plan have leaked out.
Currently, a large number of the top Super-Models (who are among PeTA's most
ardent supporters) are attending special classes to give them a keen
understanding of how the dairy industry's cruel, lactation-stimulation practices
keep dairy cows in an udderly painful state of over-engorgement to maximize
production. Soon after completion of that phase of the program, PeTA will
launch a "Got-Better-Milk?" campaign nationwide by simultaneously
issuing
local-media press-releases in all major cities throughout the country
identifying a Super-Model who will appear in front of the local
city hall in a dairy-cow costume to draw attention to the udderly cruel engorgement forced
upon dairy cows by the evil dairy industry. To be sure to attract large
numbers of males as well as the media, the announcement will hint that the
Super-Model might expose her breasts to show her solidarity with dairy cows and
her sympathy for their udder exploitation. Since it's widely known that
many PeTA-supporting Super Models have undressed at PeTA events to draw
attention to PeTA's anti-fur campaign, it's a certainty such announcement will
draw large numbers of males. Speaking at first as "Ms Dairy Cow"
in a hands-and-knees position in a costume depicting a dairy cow with the head
of a beautiful woman, the Super-Model will explain that since Mother Nature wisely endowed human females
with the ability to produce breast-milk containing all ingredients needed for
human health, she didn't intend for humans to ingest cows' milk. Then,
after explaining that she had received extensive training about
lactation-stimulation to achieve udder "solidarity" with exploited
dairy cows, she will stand, remove the top half of the costume and expose her
fully-engorged breasts while explaining how a highly-dedicated male partner
applied time-tested techniques to stimulate her lactation capabilities to enable
her to dramatically illustrate the effects of engorgement. Then, after
describing the udder discomfort of her engorged condition, she will invite males
to form a line so that each one can participate briefly in relieving her
engorgement while a PeTA spokesperson explains the nutritional value of human
breast-milk and distributes literature on time-tested, wet-nurse techniques for
stimulating lactation in the absence of pregnancy. The literature will
also explain the numerous benefits lactation provides for a female-- e.g. loss
of calories through lactation prevents weight-gain; lactation-induced
engorgement is superior to all other forms of breast augmentation, and regular
lactation virtually eliminates the natural urge of boyfriends/husbands to dine
at Hooters. Publicity from this "Got-Better-Milk" campaign will
inspire virtually all women to feel solidarity with the udderly exploited dairy
cows while also providing better nutrition to at least half the
population. back to PeTA Index.
Glossary
& Terminology:.
back to PeTA Index..
Inaminane:
The animalized equivalent of "inhumane."
Specieism:
The uncivilized and unethical view by any human that humans are
superior to any other species
