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Political Satire Daily Update © 2001 by Jim Wrenn.
These are Political Satire Daily Updates
for May, 2001 in reverse chronological order.  For other time periods, see Archives of Daily Updates.

May 31, 2001 Political Satire Daily Update-
01 by Jim Wrenn © PoliSat.Com.
WHO's blowing smoke about second-hand smoke? (PoliSat Limerick)

    The claim by the W-H-O
    of danger in second-hand smoke
    was clearly disproved
    by studies by whom?
    By studies by W-H-O ! 

© 2001 PoliSat Limerick 20010521-01.  Despite the May 31, 2001, claim by WHO (the UN's World Health Organization) claiming second-health smoke constitutes an environmental health hazard, the largest study ever conducted comparing the health of non-smokers raised in households with smokers with that of non-smokers raised in smoke-free households showed that the non-smokers raised in households with smokers were on the average sick less often than non-smokers raised in smoke-free households.  Although those findings (in a study funded by WHO) supported findings that nicotine in trace amounts actually boosts the immune system, the WHO followed the politically correct but scientifically indefensible approach of ignoring such results in order to further demonize smokers as endangering the health of others.

May 30, 2001 Political Satire Daily Update-
01 by Jim Wrenn © PoliSat.Com.
The Mighty Casey's Free to Tee ... Infringing Choice for You and Me. 
(PoliSat Parody of
The Mighty Casey at the Bat)

    The outlook seemed quite friendly to the PGA that day ...  
    Their lawyers told the Justices, "The rules are what we say,"
    but Casey said "They must be forced to play the game my way,
    'cause golf's a game with handicaps for those who poorly play."

    Though Thomas and Scalia ruled, "It's not our place to say,"
    t'was Stevens joined by Kennedy plus Breyer and Sandra-Day
    plus Ginsburg, Souter and the Chief who ruled another way,
    imposing legal handicaps on how the game is played.

    When those inclined to praise the Court and raise the cheer, "Olé"
    that gov'ment circumscribed the rules on how the game is played,
    find rights that they prefer are lost, they'll learn to their dismay,
    that freedom's choice is what was really handicapped today.

© 2001 PoliSat Rhyme 20010530-01.  Inspired by Washington Times Report on May 30, 2001, about the seven-to-two US. Supreme Court decision that the Americans With Disabilities Act empowered the federal government to rewrite the rules of the PGA to allow Casey Martin to travel from tee to tee in a golf cart despite PGA rules prohibiting such mode of travel between tees at PGA tournaments.  With Justices Thomas and Scalia dissenting, seven Justices (Stevens, Renquist, O´Connor, Kennedy, Souter, Ginsburg and Breyer) ruled the ADA empowered the feds to require the PGA to allow Martin to participate in a manner contrary to the PGA rules.

May 29, 2001 Political Satire Daily Update-01 by Jim Wrenn © PoliSat.Com.
When Doolittle led his own raid, the danger was worse than the grave.  (PoliSat Limerick)

    I learned from the movie,
Pearl Harbor,
    that Doolittle risked a great horror
    that he would be played
    by Baldwin, the knave,
    who mocks men with Doolittle's ardor.

© 2001 PoliSat Limerick 20010529-01.  To me, having Alec Baldwin, who mocks today's visionary advocates of military preparedness,  portray Jimmy Doolittle, a courageous, military-defense visionary, was as insulting to Doolittle's memory as would be having Madonna portray Mother Theresa.

May 28, 2001 Political Satire Daily Update-01 by Jim Wrenn © PoliSat.Com.
Memorial Day, 2001. (Reprise of May, 2000, Memorial Day Limerick) 

    Today is Memorial Day, 
    and so we should solemnly pay
    our tribute to those 
    now buried in rows 
    for us to have freedom today.

© 2001 PoliSat Limerick 20010528-01.

May 27, 2001 Political Satire Daily Update-
01 by Jim Wrenn © PoliSat.Com.
Memorial Day Weekend (Sunday) (Non-satirical PoliSat Limerick)

    This weekend the movie,
Pearl Harbor,
    reminds us of those who faced horror,
    and many who died
    so we could arrive
    today in their better tomorrows.

© 2001 PoliSat Limerick 20010527-01.

May 26, 2001 Political Satire Daily Update-01 by Jim Wrenn © PoliSat.Com.
Pantheopians** attack EssYooVeeans. (PoliSat Limerick)

    Today I believe there's a need
    for me to provide a reprise
    of limericks I made
    in 2000 in May 
    to warn those who drive S-U-V's:

    To please all the pantheopians
    the Ford Motor Comp'ny sang paeans
    to say it ain't right 
    that SUV's height 
    hurts cars that are made for plebians.

    Of course those who buy S-U-V's 
    are looking for safety, you see,
    so they won't be crushed 
    by much bigger trucks 
    or those with those big 18 wheels.

    But if SUV's are made weaker 
    so risks to their riders are bleaker,
    then sales will go up 
    for customized trucks 
    for those who still value their freedom.

    Then pantheopians** will say 
    we now must find some other way,
    so they will opine 
    it should be a crime 
    to use trucks in non-business ways

**Pan'-thee-oh-pee'-uns (alternate pronunciation: is pan'-thee-oh'-pee-uns-- I use whichever best fits the rhyme):  This is a term I coined to describe the activist philosophy of those exhibiting a worship of nature (pantheism) with the zealotry of utopians.  For more about Pantheopians, go here.   Jim Wrenn, Political Satire Editor at PoliSat.Com.

© 2001 PoliSat Limerick 20010526-01.  Inspired by the increasing shrillness of the political war against SUV's.  The May 12, 2000 version was inspired by a May 12, 2000, FoxNews story about Ford Motor Company singing
mea culpa for designing its SUV's with a high center of gravity.

May 25, 2001 Political Satire Daily Update-01 by Jim Wrenn © PoliSat.Com.
Confucius say "Pictures of Tiananmen ... 
worth more than some words of a Chinaman."
  (PoliSat Limerick)

    Confucius say "Picture is worth
much more than one-thousand words."
    So under that principle
    "Picture's invincible
    against one who merely speaks words."

    Zimen, who called Dubya "unprincipled,"
    forgot about "Picture's invincible,"
    'cause pictures of Chinamen
    slaughtered in Tiananmen
    invincibly show who's "unprincipled."

© 2001 PoliSat Limerick 20010525-01.   Inspired by a May 24, 2001 CNN report that Jiang Zemin described George Bush as "logically unsound, confused and unprincipled, unwise to the extreme."  

May 24, 2001 Political Satire Daily Update-01 by Jim Wrenn © 2001 PoliSat.Com.
Jumpin' Jehosifat-- Where is Jeffords jumpin' at? (PoliSat Limerick)

    We've all heard of "Jumpin' Jehosifat"
    but where is that man Jeffords jumpin' at?
    He jumped from Vermont
    to the hotbed of wonks,
    which moots whether Thurmond knows where-he's-at.

© 2001 PoliSat Limerick 20010524-01. Inspired by May 24, 2001 Washington Times report that Vt. Sen. Jim Jeffords "jumped" from Republican to Independent.

May 23, 2001 Political Satire Daily Update-01 by Jim Wrenn © 2001 PoliSat.Com.
The blue dress is hist'ry that solved a great myst'ry. (PoliSat Limerick)

    Lewinsky's attorney proclaimed
    she wants her blue dress that was stained.
    'Though Feds call it hist'ry
    that solved a great myst'ry,
    perhaps they'd consider a trade.

    So who should arrange such a trade?
    The man who had authored the stain !
    So Bill should turn over
    his clothes worn in Poland
    with stains from a chick's DNA.

© 2001 PoliSat Limerick 20010523-01.  Inspired by a May 22, 2001, New York Daily News report that on May 21, 2001, Monica Lewinsky's lawyer told Bloomberg News Service that Monica wants her blue dress returned to her.  See also PoliSat's May 19, 2001 Daily Update-01 about Clinton's clothing in Poland being stained by a chick's DNA.

May 22, 2001 Political Satire Daily Update-01 by Jim Wrenn © 2001 PoliSat.Com.
Oh my, what a sad thing it is ... when parents keep acting like kids.  (PoliSat Limerick)

    A judge has now ruled against Rudy
    "Protect Gracie Mansion from Judith
    and don't ask for gags
    on you and your hag--
    You both should stop acting so foolish."

© 2001 PoliSat Limerick 20010522-01. Inspired by a May 22, 2001, report in the Washington Times about the battle between Rudy Giuliani and Donna Hanover in the courts and in the media.  As in many divorce cases involving children, each parent makes himself/herself look bad in a misguided effort to make himself/herself look better relative to the other by trying to make the other parent look worse.  Who are the real victims?  The kids.  How can public officials urge teens and young adults that bearing children obligates them to put their childrens' interests ahead of their own when public officials are doing the opposite?

May 21, 2001 Political Satire Daily Update-01 by Jim Wrenn © 2001 PoliSat.Com.
Don't tax me, don't tax thee, tax folks eating chili beans !  (PoliSat Limerick)

    The stop-greenhouse-gas folks are fractalants ;**         .
    however they'll need lots of valiance          .
    if laws they propose
    let government's nose
    inspect us to tax us for flatulence.

© 2001 PoliSat Limerick 20010521-01.  Inspired by 05-21-01 report in New Zealand Herald describing protests by farmers as having persuaded the government to "rule out" a per-cow/per-sheep "flatulence tax" (as Dave Barry would say, "I am not making this up!") that had apparently been considered by bureaucrats as a way to reduce "greenhouse" gas emissions.
.** I derived "fractalants" from fractal to identify people who's thinking and/or philosophy and/or ideology is fractal, such as eco-fanatics or pantheopians***, the latter being a term I coined to describe those exhibiting pantheistic beliefs with the fanaticism of utopians.  If you don't have a dictionary handy, you can look-up "fractal" at Dictionary.Com.

May 20, 2001 Political Satire Daily Update-01 by Jim Wrenn © PoliSat.Com.
There could be delight if Annan is right. (PoliSat Limerick)

    A statement from Kofi Annan
    proclaims global warming anon.
    If so, there's a prize ...  
    the ocean will rise
    and fill the UN before long.

© 2001 PoliSat Limerick 20010520-01.   Inspired by UPI report that yesterday, in a commencement address at the Fletcher School of Law and Diplomacy at Tufts University outside Boston, UN Secretary General Kofi Annan proclaimed that the global-warming theory "is not some distant, worst-case scenario, it is tomorrow's forecast."  As was the case in the middle ages, when religious and/or political agendas determined what were proper conclusions from science, enshrined them as articles of faith, and then branded any contradictory findings as heresy, today's political hierarchies, pantheopian
** activists, the entertainment media, and (even worse) the dominant news media have now enshrined the global-warming theory as an article of faith and branded scientific findings to the contrary as heresy.  See also PoliSat's May 9, 2001 Political Satire Daily Update-01 about blind-faith reliance on junk-eco-science."

May 19, 2001 Political Satire Daily Update-01 by Jim Wrenn © 2001 PoliSat.Com.
In Poland it's fit to throw eggs at a twit. The best type of justice (PoliSat Limerick)

    In Poland, Slick Willie was hit
    when someone threw eggs at the twit.
    It's fitting, not strange,
    his clothing was stained
    with DNA made by a chick.

© 2001 PoliSat Limerick 20010519-01.  Inspired by a UPI news report on May 18, 2001, that an anti-globalization protester struck Clinton with an egg during his visit to Poland.

May 18, 2001 Political Satire Daily Update-01 by Jim Wrenn © 2001 PoliSat.Com.
The wisdom of Dan Rather-Blather displayed on O'Reilly's "The Factor." (PoliSat Limerick)

    We heard Rather-Blather proclaim
    on Fox that Juanita's rape-claim
    was not an event
    for news to present
    'cause "sex is a private [domain]."

    So, claims that a person was thanking
    officials with bribes through our banking
    should not make the news ... 
    'cause that would abuse
    his privacy rights in his banking.

    We all need to broaden our vision
    by studying Rather's  great wisdom.
    For brilliant examples
    you simply must sample
    our Dan Rather Archives Division.

© 2001 PoliSat Limerick 20010518-01.   Inspired by Dan Rather telling O'Reilly (on Fox News on May 15, 2001) that the reason he thought Juanita Broadderick's allegation that Clinton raped her
did not warrant extensive news coverage is that "sex is a private matter."

May 17, 2001 Political Satire Daily Update-
01 by Jim Wrenn © 2001 PoliSat.Com.
Could Dubya's intentions trump Al Gore's inventions?  (PoliSat Limerick)

    We know pantheopians
** hate
    the plans Bush proposes today
    so we can derive
    a larger supply
    of power the cap'talist way.

    They say Dubya's plan is defective
    and Gore's would be much more effective.
    You'll be in the know
    by reading below
    to learn how Gore's plan is corrective:  

Editor's introductory note:  Under the poetic tutelage of Jesse Jackson, Al Gore's description of his plan (below) combines his knowledge of science and politics to devise innovative, environmentally friendly ways to improve transportation while at the same time reducing hazardous dumps, dependence on foreign oil, fossil-fuel depletion, dependence on nuclear power, and, of course, poverty.

    What's Behind the Green Gore? (a sequel to Earth in the Balance)

Gore, who wrote Earth in the Balance ...
    to prove I am up to the challenge
    on how to conserve
    to save
Mother Earth ...
    with power left over to balance.

    Without even slight condescension, 
    I must say I make good inventions
    And how do I do it? 
    There ain't nothin' to it, 
    'cause nothin' escapes my attention !

    Before I describe my invention
    I'll honor political wisdom
    to credit my tenants
    who gave me the business
    that gave me this great inspiration.

    When bad news first came to the fore 
    disputing that I'm a Green Gore,
    I said it was false 
    to say it's my fault 
    or that I don't care for the poor.

    My tenants had called me slum-Goring 
    and claimed I invented slum-lording
    and claimed I don't care 
    and don't do repair 
    'cause rent-money I had been hording.

    I swear that I just didn't know 
    that each time my tenants would "go,"
    They suffered in slush 
    'cause after each flush, 
    the toilet would soon overflow.

    And then as though that ain't enough, 
    the cleanup was always so tough,
    'Cause when they got up 
    to clean up the muck, 
    they found that the sink had backed up.

    When E-P-A checked-out the lumps, 
    and OSHA examined their rumps,
    The experts opined 
    that I should be fined 
    for causing such hazardous dumps.  

    On learning my tenants' conditions 
    did not meet the plumbing conventions
    since each time they flush, 
    they're wading in slush, 
    I thought of a brand-new invention.

    I always stay right up to date 
    on ev'rything science can make
    So I knew of course 
    a new fuel source:  
    We now can refine human waste !

    And what gives my Green heart a thrill?  
    To get it we don't have to drill
    My tenants can "go," 
    then sell overflow, 
    and soon their accounts will be filled.

    The profit we'll take from the till 
    to make a new automobile
    Then we will hype 
    a new prototype 
    and call it the AlGoreMobile.

    This auto will please the whole nation, 
    'cause no one will need service stations
    And if you ask me  
    just how this can be
    I'll give you a quick explanation:  .

    The obsolete gasoline tank 
    will yield to a nice septic tank
    And old drivers' seats 
    become toilet seats 
    so drivers can fill their own tanks. 

    Of course there's a need for improvement, 
    and clearly it's in our behoovement
    That models display 
    their mileage CAFE 
    at fifty-six miles to the movement !

    For drivers a danger is plain:  
    To get extra mileage they'll strain
    To them we'll repeat, 
    just be sure to eat 
    the foods with high fibre and grain.

© 2001 PoliSat Limerick 20010517-01
Inspiration:  Al Gore's environmental sensitivity in the manner in which he solved toilet-backup problems by his tenants on his Tennessee estate described in a Fox News report (last year on June 6, 2000), which followed soon after a BBC report (last year on May 20, 2000) about scientists having discovered how to convert human waste into fossil fuel.  To study the original versions (and other rhymes), go to our page of limericks and rhymes about Gore.  See also our Political Satire Daily Update archives at  20000530-01 and 20000604-01 and 20000612-01.

May 16, 2001 Political Satire Daily Update-01 by Jim Wrenn © 2001 PoliSat.Com.
So what's the indicia of using "militia"? (PoliSat Limerick)

    "A well-regulated militia,"
    say gun-foes, "is clearly indicia
    the Second Amendment
    is just an intendment
    that States could establish militias."

    Were that to have been the intent
    't'would be in the one numbered Ten,
    without need to write
    that a citizen's right
    to "bear arms shall not be infringed."

© 2001 PoliSat Limerick 20010516-01.   Resumption of clamor for more gun laws and the July 9 through 20, 2001, meeting scheduled at the United Nations to study proposals for the UN to ultimately ban all "small arms" from the planet remind me how easily those opposing Second Amendment self-protection rights dupe the uninformed into believing the Second Amendment's purpose was to confer upon governments the power to regulate militias rather than to protect citizens' self-protection rights from governmental infringement.

May 15, 2001 Political Satire Daily Update-01 by Jim Wrenn © 2001 PoliSat.Com.
The Natural helps pantheist friends attack All the President's Men.  (PoliSat Limerick)

    How silly that Redford, The Natural,
    pretended to be very baffled
    that Norton thought he
    would join her to see
    a Condor returned to what's natural.

    But Redford of course was too canny
    to not understand she was planning
    to counter the libel
    that Bush would unbridle
    big business to plunder the planet.

    But pantheist groups he defends
    make claims that give science the bends.
    One only need gander
    at their propaganda :  
    Hypocrisy's crème de la crème !

    Supporting the pantheists' dreams,
    he labels opponents as mean
    to further such groups'
    recruitment of dupes
    by using techniques in
The Sting.

© 2001 PoliSat Limerick 20010515-01.   Inspired by Robert Redford's rude, self-righteous and sanctimonious rejection of Interior Secretary Norton's invitation for Redford to attend the release of rare condor into nature.  See the May 14, 2001, report in The Times.

May 14, 2001 Political Satire Daily Update-01 by Jim Wrenn © 2001 PoliSat.Com.
The specials with Perry made Christmases merry. 
(PoliSat Limerick as non-satirical tribute to Perry Como)

    We surely will miss Perry Como.
    His singing inspired Chasing Rainbows,
    It's surely improbable-- 
    perhaps It's Impossible --
    to find better singers than Como.

© 2001 Poliat Limerick 20010514-01.  Inspired by sadness at the loss of Perry Como, who died yesterday.

May 13, 2001 Political Satire Daily Update-01 by Jim Wrenn © 2001 PoliSat.Com.
A Mothers Day tribute to virtue displayed by the Mothers who nurture. 
(Revision and reprise of a PoliSat Limerick from 05-07-00)

    I'm tired of the whining and frets 
    by Yuppies with children as pets. 
    The proper child care 
    is Mom who is there-- 
    not someone who's paid to hear frets.

We know many women fall prey 
    to outlandish notions that they 
    must have a career 
    to satisfy peers 
    and leave kids with strangers all day

    Why do career gals suppose 
    that others should pay through the nose, 
    so they can pay less 
    for care they think best, 
    so they can keep up with the Jones? 

My own boys were quite lucky guys 
    as apples of their Mama's eyes.
    She had a career 
    but quit without fear 
    so they would be first in our lives.

    She could have preferred a career 
    and sent them to child-care to rear,
    but she knew it best 
    for us to have less 
    for them to have more of her near. 

Should one-income couples pay more 
    in taxes for child-care galore,
    so two-income fam'lies 
    can sample life's candies 
    and pay less for child-caring chores? 

    Of course the right answer is "No." 
    So who does that leave-- Do you know? 
    Those two-income fam'lies 
    and grandads and grannies-- 
    and college-kid's parents-- but whoa ! 

All in those groups will say "No, 
    we just can't afford to pay mo'  !"
    And so who is left 
    to become more bereft 
    for yuppies to keep up their show? 

    Just who should be brought to their knees 
    to pay for such big-spending sprees? 
    They shouldn't tax me
    and shouldn't tax thee-- 
    instead tax the guy who's behind the big tree.

© 2001 PoliSat Limerick 20010513-01.

May 12, 2001 Political Satire Daily Update-01 by Jim Wrenn © 2001 PoliSat.Com.
A insight that's dawning like sunshine
-- for laws to go easy on "Love Crimes." (PoliSat Limerick)

    For laws against hate-crimes they're bellowing
    for reds, whites and yellows and ebonies.
    Instead we should say
    all violence shows hate ... 
    then name other types "Friendly Felonies."

© 2001 PoliSat Limerick 20010512-01.  Inspired by the current passion to enact laws against "hate crimes" in contrast to those committed to show affection for the victms. 

May 11, 2001 Political Satire Daily Update-01 by Jim Wrenn © 2001 PoliSat.Com.
Confucius say hackers face counter-attackers.  (PoliSat Limerick)

    Confucius say hackers have gumption
    to threaten our internet functions,
    'til Red Chinese backers
    of Red Chinese hackers
    face Mutual ... Assured ... Destruction.

© 2001 PoliSat Limerick 20010511-01.  Inspired by May 10, 2001 UPI report that the Red Chinese government apparently called-off it's hack-attacks against US internet sites after the Red Chinese government's sites experienced retaliation by US hackers.

May 10, 2001 Political Satire Daily Update-01 by Jim Wrenn © 2001 PoliSat.Com.
The I-R-S agents are best
... at checking the gross and the net.  (PoliSat Limerick)

    The Treasury Department has checked
    computers that run I-R-S.
    This thorough review
    allows us to view
    the things those computers do best.

    The workers who run
    believe that their job to inspect
gross and the net
    means surfing the Net
    to closely
Inspect Raunchy Sex.

© 2001 PoliSat Limerick 20010510-01.  Inspired by the May 10, 2001, Washington Times report that the Treasury Department Inspector General's found that surfing the internet for porn comprises a significant portion of IRS employees' on-the-job use of IRS computers.

May 9, 2001 Political Satire Daily Update-
01 by Jim Wrenn © 2001 PoliSat.Com.
The blind-faith reliance on junk-eco-science.  (PoliSat Limerick)

    Beliefs truly founded on science
    are subject to special requirements
    which unlike religion
    encourage revision,
    reversal, review and refinement.

    My elders and those who are
my age
    heard experts predict a new ice-age.
    Now forty years later,
    we're viewed as Darth Vaders
    for doubting predictions of heat-waves.

    The difference between now and then
    is founded on whom we depend.
then voices heard
    were the scientist-nerds,
    but now it's the activists' din.

    So what caused this change to occur?
    Back then most reporters conferred
    with scientist-nerds
    speaking scientist-words,
    but now they seek activist-nerds.

    And what has this change brought about?
    Acceptance on faith without doubt
    by naive reporters
    whose failures as sorters
    keep chaff as the wheat is thrown out.

    From where come the theories for warning
    that humans will cause global warming?
    Proponents have coddled
    computerized models
    like those for predictions of storming.

    But facts that should counter those fears
    do not seem to enter their ears--
    like twice-daily notes
    that match highs but not lows
    with sunspots for two-hundred years.

    They likewise ignore in their models
    that Earth in its orbit has waddles,
    which cycle like gears
    for thousands of years,
    which makes Earth get colder or hotter.

    In calling a few recent years
    the hottest in 600 years,
    they simply will not
    ask why it was hot
    so long before autos appeared.

    Reporters who think proof it's warmer
    are pictures of Kilimanjaro 
    with snowcaps receding
    don't know they're believing
    some pictures in misleading order.

    So when will reporters decide
    to stop telling only one side?
    By now it is plain,
    they never will change
    until the next ice-age arrives.

© 2001 PoliSat Limerick 20010509-01.  Inspired by Rich Noyes' May 7, 2001, report of his news-media study for Media Research documenting most reporters' blind faith in the global-warming theory depicted as science by activist groups with eco-ideological goals with most reporters apparently share.

May 8, 2001 Political Satire Daily Update-
01 by Jim Wrenn © 2001 PoliSat.Com.
To be avant-garde pedagogic requires some collectivist logic.  (PoliSat Limerick)

    To be avant-garde pedagogic,
    a school banished Mothers Day topics,
    so kids without mothers
    would not have to suffer
    while others make Mothers Day projects.

    Such motherless-child pedagogy
    is simply collectivist logic
    to limit the blessed
    so none of the rest
    can learn life is not fairly plotted.

© 2001 PoliSat Limerick 20010508-01.  Inspired by a May 08, 2001, report that a school banned Mothers Day celebrations to avoid offending students who live in "non-traditional" families or who lost mothers due to death or divorce.  One would think a good school would know the value of teaching how to cope with, rather than promoting denial of, unpleasant realities and would also teach the good citizenship of not resenting another person being more fortunate than oneself.

May 7, 2001 Political Satire Daily Update-
01 by Jim Wrenn © 2001 PoliSat.Com.
How soon will they make CNN the Clinton News Network again? (PoliSat Limerick)

    CNN has continued to lose
    as viewers convert to Fox News.
    They won't get 'em back,
    so they must attract
    the viewers not looking for news.

    So now CNN's looking into
    a plan to give Clinton the Spin Room:  
    Trade Carlson and Press
    for livelier guests
    and name his new program "The Sin Room."

© 2001 PoliSat Limerick 20010507-01.  Inspired by rumors that CNN wants to offer Clinton $15 million a year to host a new program on CNN.

May 6, 2001 Political Satire Daily Update-
01 by Jim Wrenn © 2001 PoliSat.Com.
A micro-chip-implant designed to link separate bodies and minds.
(PoliSat Limerick about new plans for micro-chip implants--See
note below. )

    A husband-wife scientist-team
    made something for ev'ry wife's dream.
    To make this advance
    each spouse must implant
    a micro-transmitting machine.

    The moment a thought is beginning
    the thinker's transmitter is sending
    a digital code
    that promptly will go
    at once to the other's nerve endings.

    If tests go according to plan,
    when brains of the wife give commands
    for lifting her hand,
    the hand of the man
    will promptly obey the command.

    By most wives, this first will be used
    so husbands do chores the wives choose, 
    But soon they'll aim higher
    with secret desires
    for husbands to make the earth move.

© 2001 PoliSat Limerick 20010506-01
Note:  Inspired by a May 6, 2001, report in the Sunday Times that a husband-wife research team is on the verge of developing a system for micro-chip implants in humans to enable one person to control the muscle movements of another.

May 5, 2001 Political Satire Daily Update-
01 by Jim Wrenn © 2001 PoliSat.Com.
In writing the lines, could you leave-out the whines? (PoliSat Limerick)

    The writers for TeeVee and movies
    and bosses they call their "
il duces"
    have reached an agreement
    for mutual appeasement
    so actors can speak in the movies.

    And writers for all entertainers
    have fin'lly agreed on retainers.
    So now they'll continue
    preparing the menu
    of words for our best entertainers.

    In good things some bad can be seen,
    so what could be wrong with this scene?
    The writing of lines
    will give us more whines
    from Baldwin and Streisand and Sheen.

© 2001 PoliSat Limerick 20010505-01.

May 4, 2001 Political Satire Daily Update-
01 by Jim Wrenn © 2001 PoliSat.Com.
The champion contrivers are not on "Survivors".  (PoliSat Limerick)

    Although I have
not watched "Survivors,"
    I know it's about some contrivers,
    who learn to betray
    a companion a day--
    like Washington socialite/climbers.

© 2001 PoliSat Limerick 20010504-01.  Perhaps the popularity of the television program, "Survivors," is that the goals and methods among the participants bear such striking resemblances to those long ago perfected in D.C., where,  it's been said by someone I can't recall, a "good friend is one who stabs you in the chest."

May 3, 2001 Political Satire Daily Update-
01 by Jim Wrenn © 2001 PoliSat.Com.
They seek product-safety perfection but mock anti-missile protection.

    From business the lib'rals insist
    on steps to prevent ev'ry risk.
    Those safety-first preachers
    want trigger-lock features,
    but rogue-missile launches they'll risk.

© 2001 PoliSat Limerick 20010503-01.  Inspired by the absurd paradox that the activists most stridently demanding that business provide nearly perfect protection from every conceivable misuse of a product mock Bush's proposal for developing and deploying a defense to missiles launched against us on purpose by rogue nations or accidentally by other nations.

May 2, 2001 Political Satire Daily Update-
01 by Jim Wrenn © 2001 PoliSat.Com.
Confucius did say:  "Beware the beret."  (PoliSat Limerick)

    We now know Confucius did say:  
    "Berets that in China were made
    can lead to disservice
    if worn during service
    'cause that is how Clinton was made."

© 2001 PoliSat Limerick 20010502-01.  Inspired by a report in the Washington Times on May 2, 2001 about the Pentagon's decision to not have soldiers wear black berets made in China (which were ordered from China during Clinton's administration).

May 1, 2001 Political Satire Daily Update-01 by Jim Wrenn © 2001 PoliSat.Com.
The fair-minded Tim re-emerges to show us his fair-minded urges.  (PoliSat Limerick)

    Tim Russert made brilliant retorts
    that folks making careless reports
    that Kerry did wrong
    while in combat in 'Nam 
    want self-validation, of course.

© 2001 PoliSat Limerick 20010501-01.  Inspired by the re-emergence of the fair-minded Tim Russert in presenting on Imus in the Morning his cogent analysis of the motivations behind the apparent eagerness of some to so readily give credence to the allegation that Bob Kerry explicitly ordered the shooting of unarmed old men, women and children while on a combat mission in Viet Nam.  Kerry says that upon entering a hostile village at night after ordering his patrol to return fire directed at them as they approached the village, he found the dead bodies of old men, women and children.  There's yet another possibility apparently not perceived even by Russert in his obvious attempt to view the story in a fair-minded way:  Has anybody considered whether those who had directed fire at Kerry's patrol had themselves killed the old men, women and children to create the appearance of a massacre by the U.S. soldiers?  Did anyone conduct (or was it then even feasible to conduct) an examination of those bodies to determine the types of weapons with which they were shot?  Is this not a logical question to ask in light of such tactics having been known to have been previously used by the North Vietnamese and/or the Viet Cong?

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