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Political Satire Daily Updates.©2000
Archive Page-- Daily Updates for May, 2000:.
This Page
contains Daily Updates for May, 2000.  To go to our current Daily Updates Page, click here.  To go to our Daily Update Archives, click here...

2000-05-31 Daily Update-02 © 2000
Fruit can fall far from the tree (a limerick)
    We think that how true it must be ...  
    that fruit can't fall far from the tree,
    And so it astounds 
    when fruit can be found 
    that fell far away from its tree.
    Remember ole anti-gun Rowan, 
    who practiced illegal gun-totin'?
    His son saw the light:  
    gun-owning's a right 
    for personal defense-- not just sportin' .
A speech by the son caused confusion 
    and news about Senior's conversion,
    but Senior explained 
    that he hadn't changed-- 
    the words were his son's ammunition. 
© 2000 (Inspiration: Inside the Beltway column by John McCaslin on 05-31-00.)

2000-05-31 Daily Update-01 © 2000
The Whistle-Blowers' Lament.
(A limerick inspired by a 05-30-00 report by FoxNews that Broadderick is the 4th person to be audited by the IRS after having said Clinton made sexual advances.)
    What Broadderick, Jones, Flow'rs and Gracen 
    have suffered in common's amazing:
    They all said that sex 
    is what Bill expects,  
    then all suffered I.R.S. hazing. 

© 2000

2000-05-30 Daily Update-01 © 2000 (new, improved version over original version earlier today)
Thomas Crapper's invention paves way for new-century, renewable-energy source.
A limerick inspired by a 05-29-00 BBC report about scientists' discovery of a way to convert human waste into fossil fuel:
    Thank goodness for high-tech improvements 
    to counter the Mother-Earth Movement
    So we can eschew 
    those S-U-V blues 
    and end pantheistic denouement.
    A quite-recent high-tech advance 
    will counter the Earth-Day demands ...
    That now it's our fate 
    to cut driving rates 
    by walking on feet and on hands.

    A fuel from human-waste boiling 
    will supersede gassing and oiling.
    A thing that might foil-it 
    or otherwise spoil-it:  
    the driver's seat must be a toilet.
    Of course this creates a behoovement 
    that car-comp'nies strive for improvement,
    But there is good news 
    'cause when this is used, 
    you get fifty-miles to the movement. 

© 2000

Original, unimproved version earlier today:
    Thank goodness for high-tech advances 
    to counter those Mother-Earth wackies
    Again science proves 
    fanatics can't use 
    the S-U-V drivers as lackeys
    A quite recent high-tech advance 
    will counter the Earth-Day demands ...
    For us not to wait 
    to cut driving rates 
    by walking on feet and on hands.

    A fuel from human-waste boiling 
    will supersede gassing and oiling
    One thing might foil-it 
    or otherwise spoil-it:  
    the car needs a drivers'-seat toilet 
© 2000

2000-05-29 Daily Update-01 © 2000
Memorial Day (a limerick)
    Today is Memorial Day, 
    and so we should solemnly pay
    Our tribute to those 
    now buried in rows 
    for us to have freedom today.  
© 2000

2000-05-28 Daily Update-01 © 2000
The Million Mom "Martyrs" (a limerick)
    I tire of the Million-Mom wail 
    that life is a stressful travail.
    They seem to not know 
    their ancestors' woes 
    like those on the Oregon Trail.
    If they had been moms long ago, 
    when husbands proclaimed, "Westward Ho,"
    They would've said "No !  
    We ain't gonna go  
    until we ban arrows and bows." 

© 2000

2000-05-27 Daily Update-01 © 2000
Dubya's Nuke-Killer Bazookas. (a limerick)
    We like Dubya's verbal bazookas 
    promoting defense with great hoopla,
    But like some on farms 
    describing "The Bomb," 
    he seems to prefer to say noo-keh-ler.
    And 'though Gore has said things much goofier, 
    I wish Bush would learn to say nuclear
    But he ain't alone 
    'cause media drones 
    can sometimes be heard to say noo-keh-ler.  

© 2000

2000-05-26 Daily Update-01- © 2000
Rosie O'Donnell shoots from the HipOcracy* (a limerick) (inspiration**)
    'Though Rosie O'Donnell
    that all private handguns be
banned ... .
    Despite all her
she want to have hers  
    nearby in her bodyguard's
© 2000
*HipOcracy is a term I coined to describe a currently "hip" form of hypocrisy by those with influence in the MediOcracy, which is a term I coined to describe our CelebOcracy, another term I coined   to define a society controlled by the power of celebrity-- i.e., it's the same as a plutocracy, except that the source of power is celebrity rather than wealth (or accomplishments), and it's similar to  EmotOcracy, (ee-mow-toc-ruh-see) another term I coined to define a society governed by emotions rather than sober reasoning.  Jim Wrenn, editor at polisat.com. 
© 2000
**Limerick inspired by 05-25-00 article in the Stamford Advocate about Rosie's bodyguard's application for a permit to carry a concealed weapon just a few days after Rosie's speech     to the so-called "Million Mom March" demonizing people who object to restrictions on their rights to own and bear firearms for self-protection.

2000-05-25 Daily Update-
02 © 2000
Rodeo Reform:  Asses for Asses, Bust for Bust (bronco busting--get it?) (limericks**)
    The PeTA crowd says that Wyoming 
    should promptly embark on atoning
    'Cause its license plates 
    show animal-hate
    A cowboy and bronc rodeo-ing
... .
    So Wyoming's Gov'nor should say, 
    "I'd bring PeTA folks to our state,
    And substitute them 
    for animal friends, 
    but they look the same from both ways"

© 2000 (
**inspired by 05-25-00 Washington Times story about PeTA's demand that Wyoming stop using its license-plate depiction of a cowboy riding a bronco.)

2000-05-25 Daily Update-
01 © 2000
Liar, Liar, Pants On Fire (a limerick)
    The charge against Tripp was about .... 
    revenge by the pro-Clinton crowd.
    But judges aspire 
    to disbelieve liars, 
    so Monica's words were thrown out.
    Lewinsky just can't be believed 
    without other proof of her deeds.
    The judge was quite wise 
    in knowing she lies 
    whenever it suits her own needs.

    This ruling provides a good map 
    when Bill tries to beat the Bar rap.
    The things we now know 
    so clearly do show 
    he won't tell the truth 'til he's trapped. 
© 2000

2000-05-24 Daily Update-
01 © 2000
Economic Power Shortens Tyranny's Hour (a limerick)
    The folks who opposed trade with China 
    until it gets gentler and kinder
... .
    Do not seem to know 
    what makes freedom grow 
    because they see hist'ry with blinders.
    Forget such political fodder; 
    then study the ole Magna Carter.
    What was the thing 
    that made England's King 
    think yielding some power was smarter?

    It wasn't his longing to nurse 
    new freedoms for better or worse.
    He chose to agree 
    because he could see 
    how strong was the pow'r of the purse.
    But those against trade still have fear, 
    'cause freedom was long getting here.
    Of course, we all know, 
    back then things were slow, 
    so progress took hundreds of years.

    But now there are phones and computers 
    to help them resist the storm troopers
    In this modern time, 
    it won't take much time 
    for tyranny's rule to be neutered 
© 2000

2000-05-23 Daily Update-
01 © 2000
Disbarment is Par for Lies at the Bar (a limerick)
    For acting in court like a hooligan, 
    Slick Willie demands just a Mulligan.
    Ain't it amazin' that 
    Bubba's so brazen 
    when he thinks the polls have him up-again?
    He claims that disbarment's too harsh 
    'cause foes were just too dumb to parse
    The words that he used 
    in his clever ruse 
    to hide what he did with his parts.

    But lawyers in ole Arkansas 
    say Clinton should now be disbarred.
    Of course he will
    to say "It ain't
fair ! ...
     A censure for sex-lies is par !"
    But he never gave it such thought 
    when he signed the sex-offense laws.
    He was quite glad 
    to force other dads 
    to say what they did with their paws.

    But when it was Bill's turn to say ...  
    the truth about his escapades,
    he simply told lies 
    and furthermore tried 
    to make others join his charade.
    Because he signed laws that required 
    defendants to say what transpired
    and then plainly lied 
    defending his side, 
    he's not just a face-saving liar.

    When his country's votes he was given, 
    he should have made honor his mission.
    So we should
    that more we should
    from those to whom more has been given.
    When those who receive special trust 
    just treat it as license for lust
    and then try to hide 
    in curtains of lies, 
    disbarment is really a must !

    At least Nixon, Colson and Dean 
    had honor enough to come clean.
    But Bill Clinton still 
    denies his own guilt 
    and thinks polls have wiped his slate clean.
    Because he is still so defiant 
    and shows no remorse for his lyin'
    Justice must say 
    disbarment's the way 
    to deal with his false testifyin'

© 2000

2000-05-22 Daily Update-
01 © 2000
Million Mom March:  Militant Passivism* by the Passivopians** (a limerick)
    A quite contradictory vision 
    is militants
for passivism.
    They quite loudly say
     in their strident way, 
    "Let's passively trust gov'ment's wisdom." © 2000
*Militant Passivism (not to be confused with pacifism) is a term I coined to define those who militantly advocate passage of new laws and/or implementation of government programs calculated to require citizens to passively rely upon government to apply its infinite wisdom to do what's good for them and everyone else whether they like it or not-- Jim Wrenn, editor@polisat.com. © 2000
**Passivopians is a term I coined to describe those who militantly advocate that they and everyone else passively rely upon what is in essence a naive, utopian belief that good citizens should passively rely upon the wisdom and power of government to do what it, in its infinite wisdom, deems best for them-- Jim Wrenn, editor@polisat.com. © 2000

2000-05-21 Daily Update-
01 © 2000
Will Majordomos Demonize Lazio? (a limerick)
    Who was it on all Sunday shows?  
    Of course it was Rick Lazio.
    Those in the know 
    have picked Lazio, 
    who now needs to raise tons of dough.
    The experts say he'll have the dough 
    so his name by all will be known
    And then the nice guy 
    will be demonized 
    by Hillary's majordomos. 

© 2000

2000-05-20 Daily Update-
01 © 2000
Here comes Lazio (a limerick)
    Of Lazio we know quite little 
    except that he's been second-fiddle
    But in the big game, 
    the starter went lame, 
    so second-string must show his metal 
© 2000

2000-05-19 Daily Update-
02 © 2000
Rudy has Class (a limerick)
    In telling us why he must pass, 
    Giuliani has shown us real class
    We wish him well 
    in fixing his health, 
    and hope he recovers quite fast 
© 2000

2000-05-19 Daily Update-
01 © 2000
Announcement/Thank-You from creators of video parody of Elian's seizure:
Looks like we won! The AP officially said they will not come after us if we put the Elian video back up on our site, SO WE DID! We've also got some other new stuff going on there, so check it out at: 
http://www.sixsite.com/bonrop. thanks again for the support! --sean & chris
Reprise of our 2000-04-28-01 Daily Update mocking the AP & supporting the parody:
    APocrisy On Parade (AP Hypocrisy) (a limerick)
    The AP is eager to preach 
    the value of having free speech
    Except when a speaker 
    or parody tweaker 
    incorporates pics from AP
    One need not know science for rockets 
    to know the AP makes its profits
    Selling its pictures 
    of folks in dire strictures 
    without paying them any profits.

    So why should AP get upset 
    and recklessly make foolish threats
    at Lathrop and Bonner 
    whose parody genre 
    used pics of young Elian's "arrest"?
    If you want the AP to hear 
    your views then just simply click here**.
    They need to learn 
    they're way out of turn 
    instilling those comics with fear.

    And if you're inclined to support 
    good parody as a safe sport,
    tell Lathrop and Bonner, 
    "Continue your genre" 
    by mocking those dumb AP dorks 
© 2000 (
Inspired by the Associated Press's ridiculous reaction to Lathrop and Bonner using the AP's Elian-at-gunpoint picture to make a video parody of the scene., which they call  "elian, true ... aka stormtroopers, true."  For more information about this controversy and to learn how/where to contact Lathrop and Bonner and/or the AP regarding this matter, click here. (**That link is no longer active)

2000-05-18 Daily Update-
01 © 2000
Professorial Pretense Weakens National Defense (a limerick)
    Since making our whole military 
    a force that is just voluntary,
    Those who would never 
    attempt such endeavor 
    would use them like miners' canaries
    Of course risk is part of the job 
    with danger to life, limb and bod'
    But those who won't serve 
    still muster the nerve 
    to use them for social jihads.

    As orders get taller and taller, 
    our forces get smaller and smaller.
    It's too sad to laugh, 
    'cause absent a draft, 
    our forces quite soon will be hollow
    How can we alter this trend 
    in light of the risks it portends?
    Renewing the draft 
    will soon be the path 
    to have an effective defense

    A draft would impose common-sense 
    on do-gooders'  tough-guy pretense.
    That would be good 
    'cause ev'ry man should 
    learn how to be part of defense
    If ev'ry man had to pay dues 
    by having to face draftee blues
    Many would lose 
    their do-gooder views 
    by walking in battlefield shoes

© 2000

2000-05-17 Daily Update-
01 © 2000
Health Gestapo Wrong Again (a limerick)
    Most folks don't take time to ponder 
    in listening health-nut fear-mongers
    If things are so bad, 
    then how come we've had 
    our lifetimes get longer and longer?
    For more than two decades we're told 
    that Saccharin won't let us get old.
    But now they admit, 
    it hurts not a whit,
    so never-mind things we were told. 

© 2000 (
Inspired by 05-17-00 story about saccharin.)

2000-05-16 Daily Update-
No Update.  Renovation gliches.

2000-05-15 Daily Update-
01 © 2000
No update.  Renovation gliches.

2000-05-14 Daily Update-
01 © 2000
Moms Against Guns-- 
Motherhood Eclipsed by Activism
(a Mother's Day limerick)
    The moms-against-guns claim statistics 
    are proof we need anti-gun fixes
    Their glib use of stats 
    obscures the real facts 
    about which they're cleverly picky
    As part of their mantra they say ...  
    that "thirteen kids die ev'ry day,
    Because there are not 
    enough trigger-locks ...
    as if that's the accident rate.

    But all but a few of those deaths 
    are products of criminal quests
    And crime-deaths are not 
    prevented by locks 
    'cause thugs don't make safety their test
    The accident rate they don't say-- 
    It's less than one every four days
    Of course that is bad, 
    but what is more sad?  
air-bags killed one-fifty-eight !
    And why did those air-bag deaths happen? 
    The gov'ment required us to have 'em !
    And how did we lose 
    the freedom to choose 
    our own way to have self-protection?
    It started with such good intentions 
    soon after the seat-belt's invention
    Some wouldn't choose 
    their seat-belts to use, 
    so then we got air-bag mandation.

    Like those who presumed air-bags best, 
    the anti-gun moms won't confess
    That really their goal 
    is that we be told 
    just how we should care for ourselves
    Those anti-gun moms love statistics ...  
    except those that show they're complicit:
    Few kids do crime 
    with mothers full-time 
    unlike those whose moms are careerists.

    And since very few kids do crimes 
    when raised by their mothers full-time
    More could be saved 
    if more moms would say 
    "I'll put my kids first all the time"
    It's clear that such one simple choice 
    by more moms to heed nature's voice
    Would save far more lives 
    than all the things tried 
    since day-care became their first choice.

    The much lower rate of youth crime 
    was when most moms mothered full-time
    All children thirst 
    to have Mama first 
    instead of just "quality" time
    I'm thankful my wife said to me:  
    "A mother full-time I will be."
    And she had no fear 
    to quit her career 
    so she could fulfill our kids' needs.

    And so to those mothers whose voice 
    is loudest in favor of choice
    I recommend 
    the place to begin 
    is listening to nature's own voice.
    If follower-moms would just stop 
    behaving like sheep in a flock
    They won't need to guess 
    to know what is best 
    to help their kids get to the top.

    The number of kids this would save 
    would vastly exceed their parade
    More would receive 
    the love that they need 
    and fewer would go to their graves.
    Of course moms aren't solely to blame 
    'cause fathers deserve lots of blame
    Many beget 
    and then just forget 
    and leave their poor offspring in shame. 

    Too many lasses and lads 
    have fathers but never have dads
    They just plant their seed, 
    then gutlessly leave 
    their kids to be lonely and sad.
    The view we must bring back again 
    is no-wedlock births are a shame.
    To fight the good fight, 
    admit Quayle was right, 
    and never mock daddies again. 

© 2000

2000-05-13 Daily Update-
01 © 2000
A vast left-wing conspiracy?  (a limerick)
    We should not condone infidelity 
    in fam'lies with children especially
    A wife being kooky 
    can't justify Rudy 
    engaging in such infidelity
    But also one cannot ignore 
    her kooky behavior galore
    Like statements she made 
    at Cardinal John's wake 
    right at the cathedral's front door

    And who's the producer who signed-her 
    to speak "Monologues" of "Vagina"?
    It's said by reporters 
    that Hill'ry's supporters 
    decided the star should be Donna
    And so we can't help but suspect 
    that Hill'ry, whose home is a wreck,
    Used her campaign 
    to give Donna fame, 
    then hang her around Rudy's neck.

    Is this a conspiracy thing?  
    Does it have truth in its ring?
    It's surely no worse 
    than Hill'ry's own words
    "Conspiracy by the Right Wing" 
© 2000

2000-05-12 Daily Update-
01 © 2000
Pantheopians attack EssYuVeeans (a limerick)
    To please all the pantheopians
    the Ford Motor Comp'ny sang paeans
    To say it ain't right 
    that SUV's height 
    hurts cars that are made for plebians
    Of course those who buy SUV's 
    are looking for safety, you see--
    so they won't be crushed 
    by much bigger trucks 
    or those with those big 18 wheels.

    But if SUV's are made weaker 
    so risks to their riders are bleaker
    Then sales will go up for 
    for customized trucks 
    for those who still value their freedom.
    Then pantheopians will say: 
    "We now must find some other way."
    So they will opine 
    it should be a crime 
    to use trucks in non-business ways

© 2000  (See 05-12-00 FoxNews story about Ford's mea culpa)
*Pan-thee-oh-pee'-uns:  Term coined by editor to describe the activist philosophy of those exhibiting a worship of nature (pantheism) with the zealotry of utopians.

2000-05-11 Daily Update-
01 © 2000
Elian's Fate:  Tyranny in parental clothing.  (limericks)
    Fidel claims to speak with transparence 
    in saying that Elian's grandparents
    are free to come here 
    to give Elian cheer, 
    so why hasn't State given clearance?
    But part of Fidel's claims don't click:  
    he numbers grandparents at six.
    Since Elian has four, 
    who are the two more? 
    The parents of step-mom make six.

    Of course State should let them all in; 
    however, we should not pretend
    That he'll find it easy 
    to make Miguel queasy 
    about his wife's siblings, my friend.
    It's clear we cannot guarantee 
    conditions to make Miguel free
    For him to select 
    his right to defect 
    'cause Castro holds aces, you see?

    So, what does that leave as our choice?  
    We're bound by Miguel's timid voice.
    If he just won't say 
    that here he will stay 
    then we must be bound by his choice
    In taking his word in the end, 
    we surely should not just pretend
    That we gave safe harbor 
    to rights of a father 
    instead of the tyrant, my friend.

© 2000 (See Reuters/Yahoo story on 05-10-00)

2000-05-10 Daily Update-
01 © 2000
More Gore Lore (a limerick)
    Yesterday, Gore laid a bomb 
    with typically reckless aplomb
    He tried to imply 
    Dubya's such a dumb guy 
    to call Bosniacs "Bosnians"
    So often Al Gore makes attacks 
    without having read his own tracts
    And he would be sad  
    to learn that he has  
    said "Bosnians" not "Bosniacs"

© 2000 
(Source to be revealed after affording Gore a chance to deny he said "Bosnians")

2000-05-09 Daily Update-
01 © 2000
Clintonian Maps by Government Saps (a limerick)
    For Slick Willie's "School Reform Tour" 
    portrayed as the good-deed
de jour,
    Their map to explain 
    the trip put the name 
    "Kentucky" on-the state of Al Gore
    The White House was surely displeased 
    at what seemed to be a reprise
    When mapping done wrong 
    had led us to bomb 
    the embassy of the Chinese 

© 2000 
--See story on White House map for Clinton's "School Reform Tour" (Drudge 05-09-00)

2000-05-08 Daily Update-
01. © 2000
Mother (in-law) of All Mothers (in-law) meets Legacy of All Legacies.(a Clintonian limerick)
    As soon as my second term ends, 
    I'll suffer political bends.
    For me, decompression 
    means practice deception 
    and learn some new means to my ends.
    So where will I go to hit bottom?  
    I'll stay with my dear Mamma Rodham,
    and Hill'ry will be  
    so glad to see me  
    stuck under the thumb of that woman.

    It's sure to be pleasing to Hillary 
    to know by her mom I'd be pilloried
    If she suspects 
    I'm out getting sex 
    instead of just dreaming of Hill'ry
    But I needn't worry 'cause luckily, 
    her hearing is not high-fidelity
    When she asks about 
    the times I go out, 
    I'll say I'm pursuing a leg-I-see

© 2000  (See 05-08-00 reports by Fox News and Reuters  that Clinton says that after leaving office, he'll live with his mother-in-law in Little Rock while working on his Presidential Library)

2000-05-07 Daily Update-01 © 2000.
New-Millennium Child Care:
Yuppie Version of Pet Care
(a limerick)
(Can you say "taxpayer funded"? -- Better yet, can you say "Hillary Care") 
    I'm tired of the whining and frets 
    by couples who have kids as pets. 
    The proper child care's 
    a Mom who is there-- 
    not someone who's paid to hear frets.
    Too many women fall prey 
    to the outlandlish notion that they 
    must have a career to satisfy peers 
    and leave kids with strangers all day

    Why do career gals suppose 
    that others should pay through the nose 
    So they can pay less 
    for care they think best 
    so they can keep up with the Jones? 
    My boys were quite lucky guys 
    as apples of their Mama's eyes. 
    She had a career 
    but quit without fear 
    to be Mom for her special guys.

    She could have preferred a career 
    and sent them to child-care to rear, 
    but she knew it best 
    that we all have less 
    for them to have more of her near.
    Should one-income couples pay more 
    in taxes for child-care galore ... 
    So two-income fam'lies 
    can sample life's candies 
    and pay less for child-caring chores?

    Of course the right answer is "No." 
    So who does that leave-- Do you know? 
    Those two-income fam'lies 
    and grandads and grannies-- 
    and college-kid's parents-- but whoa ! 
    All in those groups will say "No, 
    we just can't afford to pay mo' ." 
    Who, then, is left 
    to be made bereft 
    for yuppies to keep up their show?

    Who should be brought to their knees 
    to pay for such big-spending sprees? 
    Don't tax me, 
    and don't tax thee, 
    tax that guy behind the tree. 
© 2000 (except last 3 lines)
Reprise from http://polisat.com/dua000229.htm#20000206-03)
Poetic License since New Millennium starts 01-01-2001 and did not start on 01-01-2000)

2000-05-06 Daily Update-01 © 2000
Closing the "Digital Divide" (a limerick)
    Since Clinton and Gore now decry 
    a digital high-tech divide
    Isn't it great 
    that workers at State 
    now leave all their doors open wide?
    Others in need just can't wait 
    to get their new laptops from State.
    They''ll get in line 
    and say "This one's mine"
     then "Thanks" as they run for the gate. 

© 2000

2000-05-05 Daily Update-
03 © 2000
Judge in Linda Tripp case limits Monica's testimony  
(a limerick re ruling on 05/05/00)
    The judge in the case against Tripp 
    has almost shut Monica's lips
    Judges have skills 
    much better than Bill's 
    'cause they don't just shoot from the hip. 
© 2000

2000-05-05 Daily Update-
02 © 2000
Disbarment-- Colson, Dean and Clinton (a limerick)
    During the Watergate scandals, 
    disbarments were quite promptly handled
    Even by those 
    who weren't Nixon's foes, 
    'cause justice should be even-handed
    Solely on John Dean's admission 
    of making deception his mission
    Virginia revoked 
    his license, which spoke 
    quite loudly against such commission

    When Colson made one guilty plea 
    for harming a foe with a leak
    Virginia's Court said, 
    "Your license is dead" 
    within just a very few weeks
    So why are they locking their jaws 
    way down there in ole Arkansas?
    Surely Bill Clinton''s 
    belated admissions 
    are grounds for his being disbarred

    But there is a difference, you see, 
    'cause unlike Chuck Colson and Dean
    Clinton's great fame 
    is having no shame-- 
    he just lacks the guts to come clean.  
© 2000

2000-05-05 Daily Update-
01 © 2000
Mike, the Confessor (a limerick)
    Yesterday, Fox's O'Reilly 
    questioned Mike Wallace quite spryly...
    seeking to
    why Wallace's
    ignored Hill'ry's myst'ries entirely
    At first, Wallace echoed the choir: .  
    "Such 'old news' has lost all its fire."
    But when he was pressed, 
    Mike Wallace confessed 
    that ev'ryone knows she's a liar.

    And then Mike confessed it is true, 
    that Hill'ry should be interviewed
    But then in a ruse, 
    he made the excuse 
    that she's too estranged from the truth.
    But when did Mike Wallace get tired 
    of trying to show who's a liar?
    For so many years, 
    it's been his career-- 
    exposing folks trapped in such mire. 

©  2000

2000-05-04 Daily Update-
01 © 2000
Don't tax me; Don't tax thee; 
Tax those folks on drinking sprees
(a limerick)
(Inspired by CDC claim that raising beer-tax would reduce the spread of sexually-transmitted disease)
    Since we've destroyed Big Tobacco, 
    Big Beer is now next to be whackoed
    Too many guys 
    spread too many thighs 
    when taxes on beer are just so-so.
    If guys couldn't get their gals drunk, 
    their sex-lives would be like a monk's
    So what's the "Rx" 
    for stopping drunk sex?  
    It's taxes, but who would have thunk?

    Thank goodness for such expertise, 
    and who is the source?  CDC !
    Their subjects were bores, 
    who only could score 
    with gals who were too drunk to see.
    But will higher taxes reduce 
    the use of six-packs to seduce?
    Probably not 
    'cause prices will drop 
    or guys will find gals who are loose. 

© 2000

2000-05-03 Daily Update
-01 © 2000
National Anxiety Disorders Screening Day.. 
Nanny government to the rescue
(A limerick inspired by a news story on 05-01-00).
    Today we screen border-to-border 
    for National Anxiety Disorders
    We sit on our fannies 
    while government nannies 
    suggest that we self-reconnoiter.
    Such do-gooders think we are dopes 
    who need help from them just to cope
    Too many folks 
    are wearing such yokes 
    down victimhood's slippery slope.

    To those who think modern life's tough, 
    I say you just lack the right stuff
    Our predecessors 
    were good self-assessors 
    who didn't have time for such fluff.
    By thinking we're mentally ill, 
    such prophesy will be fulfilled.
    We become sheep, 
    the land of the weak, 
    who just cannot cope without frills.
© 2000

2000-05-02 Daily Update-
01 © 2000.
Clinton's expertise on teens... (a limerick)
    A Teen Conference held at the White House 
    to tell us what teens are about
    Hosted by Hill'ry 
    presented Slick Willie 
    to tell us the ins and the outs 
© 2000

2000-05-01 Daily Update-
01 © 2000
Reflections on the White House Correspondents' Dinner (04-29-00). (a limerick)
    At dinner with those correspondents
    whose White House connections are prominent
    Clinton displayed 
    the way that he plays 
    reporters like musical instruments 
© 2000

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