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Political Satire/Commentary Daily Updates.™©·2002.
Updates start below in
reverse chronological order.  [CHANGE FONT/TEXT SIZE]

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Aug. 31, 2002 PoliSat.Com's Political-Satire/Commentary Daily Update #20020831-01.™©.2002.
No Update-- Labor Day Holiday.....
--Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com.
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Aug. 30, 2002 PoliSat.Com's Political-Satire/Commentary Daily Update #20020830-01.™©.2002.
To Saudis, "No thanks" for a race-horse as penance for funding a hate-war..

    That Saudis have offered a race-horse
    to 9-One-One victims of hate-war
    adds insult not balm
    to injuries spawned
    by hate-corps the Saudis had paid-for.
..
Inspired by an August 30, 2002, Times On Line report that the Saudi royal family is contemplating donating a "million dollar racehorse" named "War Emblem" to families of 9-11 victims.  --Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com.
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Aug. 29, 2002 PoliSat.Com's Political-Satire/Commentary Daily Update #20020829-01.™©.2002.

Why pardon-conditions by Bubba...
 cannot be revealed by the Dubya.
.

    Judicial Watch questions to Dubya
    demand pardon-records of Bubba
    but Dubya refused
    to let 'em peruse
    the records for pardons by Bubba.

    When questioned, said Bush:  "I rejected
    demands for the pardon directives
    'cause Bubba, you know,
    departed, and so
    no longer can proof be erected."
..
Inspired by an August 28, 2002, Washington Times report about the Bush Administration's refusal to comply with demands by Judicial Watch for records pertaining to Clinton's issuance of pardons in the waning days/hours of his administration.  For excellent historical hysterical insight into the Presidential Pardons aspect of the Clinton Era Error, buy my book, the Clinton Liebrary Book 2001 Edition, which features a chapter titled "Pardon My Funding with Funding for Pardons." containing satirical limericks
such as Clinton's explanation of why he pardoned Susan McDougal but not Webster Hubbell.  For more information about the book, go to ClintonLiebraryBook.Com. or visit the Clinton Liebrary.  You can also order the book by toll-free telephone call to 1-866-BILL-LIES (1-866-245-5543)  --Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com..
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Aug. 28, 2002 PoliSat.Com's Political-Satire/Commentary Daily Update #20020828-01.™©.2002.
For viewers Phil's hunting while ratings are plunging.

    T'was long ago mathematicians
    conceived a quite puzzling condition:  
    At lower than none,
    a number becomes
    a mirrored, imagined condition.

    Though Donahue's program is hunting
    for viewers his ratings are plunging.
    To zero they'll go,
    then further below,
    where Phil will imagine he's watching the country.
..
Inspired by an August 27, 2002, Drudge Report that Donahue's ratings at MSNBC have fallen off the scale. --Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com.
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Aug. 27, 2002 PoliSat.Com's Political-Satire/Commentary Daily Update #20020827-01.™©.2002.
And now Martha Stewart Divesting's the way
for listners to earn something new ev'ry day..


    The lesson today is from Martha to you: 
    Be sure to divest when the sky isn't blue--
    For some-tips old, some-tips new, 
    some-tips borrowed, some-tips blue,
    just tune-in to Martha to learn what to do.
.
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An August 27, 2002, Yahoo/Reuters report on a "Free Martha" campaign being waged by Martha Stewart "Fashionistas" inspired me to reprise my June 14, 2002, Daily Update about Martha Stewart. --Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com.
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Aug. 26, 2002 PoliSat.Com's Political-Satire/Commentary Daily Update #20020826-01.™©.2002.
The village of Hershey needs knights to bring mercy.

    The world-famous village of Hershey
    appears to be held at the mercy
    of Switzerland's Nestlι,
    but white-knight investing
    should ride to the rescue of Hershey.

    For Nestlι to win would be horrid,
    but putting their offer in storage
    requires a white-knight
    with strength for the fight--
    The hoofs that I hear?  Philip Morris !
..
Inspired by an August 25, 2002, USA Today report about the possibility of Hershey being acquired by Nestlι unless an American company were to rescue the Town of Hershey from the ignominy of being at the mercy of the Swiss chocolate company.  I'd bet on Philip Morris since, as a smoker (but not a tobacco-stock owner), I know chocolate goes great with nicotine.  --Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com.
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Aug. 25, 2002 PoliSat.Com's Political-Satire/Commentary Daily Update #20020825-01.™©.2002.
Will A-O-L's phrase, "You've got mail" be changed to the phrase "You've got jail"?

    Remember when analysts hailed
    the A-O-L phrase, "You've got mail"?
    Will rosy predictions
    disguising constrictions
    allow Feds to say, "You've got jail"?
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Inspired by an August 25, 2002 New York Post report implying that the SEC is investigating whether financial reports by AOL unlawfully overstated its prospective revenue .. --Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com.
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Aug. 24, 2002 PoliSat.Com's Political-Satire/Commentary Daily Update #20020824-01.™©.2002.
The Bush-Putin Era for War Against Terror.

    The capture of high-grade uranium
    at risk in the Yugoslav nation
    reveals a new era
    when war against terror
    for Russia and us is a joint operation.
..
Inspired by an August 24, 2002, report in The Times of London about a joint operation by US and Russian special forces to seize, remove and safeguard a large quantity of poorly-guarded highly enriched uranium in Yugoslavia.
        This extraordinary cooperation between the US and Russia makes me recall the times in the Reagan Era when all of Europe's leaders (except Margaret Thatcher) and "intellectuals" and Reagan's domestic critics mocked him as an unsophisticated, unintelligent "cowboy":  
        (a) for insisting on deploying short-range nuclear missiles in Europe and developing SDI to
             induce the Soviets to the bargaining table to "reduce" rather than merely "limit" nuclear arms, 
        (b) for calling the Soviet Union an "evil empire" destined for the "dustbin of history," and 
        (c) for saying (in Berlin) "Mr. Gorbechev, tear down this wall."  
It's a shame he isn't healthy enough today to read this report (about the US/Russian collaboration to safeguard enriched uranium) to those critics and say "Nyyyaaaa Nya-Nya Nyyyaaaa Nya !"
        It also reminds me that only recently that same group of critics smugly predicted that abrogation of the ABM Treaty by Bush would discourage Russia from collaborating with the US on matters involving nuclear weapons, nuclear proliferation, etc. Given the recent and Reagan-Era track-records of European leaders and "intellectuals" and of American critics of Human-Rights Imperialism, Dubya should take solace in their nearly unanimous opposition to his assertion that replacement of Saddam Hussein is vital to the security of the US, Europe, the Middle-East and human-rights generally.  --Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com.
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Aug. 23, 2002 PoliSat.Com's Political-Satire/Commentary Daily Update #20020823-01.™©.2002.
M-S-N-B-C should let Phil go... to co-host a "Bubba & Phil Show."

    C-B-S has received a proposal from Bill: 
    A show like the talk-show invented by Phil,
    but ratings for Phil 
    raise doubts that it will
    draw viewers like years-ago ratings for Phil.

    M-S-N-B-C  would be glad to send Phil
    to help C-B-S with a program for Bill
    to alternate posts
    as viewer and host
    on odd/even days between Bubba and Phil.
..
Inspired by an August 21, 2002, New York Times article about discussions between Bill Clinton and CBS for Clinton to host a daily afternoon television talk-show despite the spectacularly dismal ratings currently being experienced by another host (Phil Donahue on MSNBC) whose initial successes years ago were founded on his initial appeal to women. --Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com.
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Aug. 22, 2002 PoliSat.Com's Political-Satire/Commentary Daily Update #20020822-01.™©.2002.
A negligent mother or meddling Big Brother?

    Of course we oppose child endangerment
    but also Big-Brother Lone-Rangering
    for kids at the fair
    when sunburn's declared
    to constitute crim'nal endangerment.

    Who's next on the list of Big Brother?
    Nutrition-malpracticing mothers
    who dare to provide
    some burgers and fries
    and milk not from soy but from udders !
..
See an Aug. 20, 2002, Yahoo/AP report on the arrest of a mother on child-endangerment charges for letting her small children get severe sunburn during a day at the county fair in Jefferson County, Ohio. Unless this arrest were to have been a mere pretext to save children from a mother known by the deputy to have previously exposed her children to danger in a criminally negligent manner, it seems to me to have been an instance of Big Brother meddling.
    What's next?  Arresting moms feeding their kids burgers, fries and sodas at McDonalds?  In the wake of the fanatics' victories in The War Against Tobacco, the current expansion of their fanatically religious crusade to include Big Junk Food, Big Mayonnaise, Big Beef, Big Butter, Big Eggs, Big Fat, etc., should make us all wonder who knows who's next on their list.  
    What do I think about sunburn?  As I hurtle into geezerhood, I remember often receiving "second degree sunburn" (i.e., the kind causing peeling) during my childhood as a result of playing outside without a shirt on hot, sunny days, after which my skin got darker and protected me from sunburn for the rest of the summer.  So-what if some statistician claims it doubled or even tripled an extremely small risk of skin cancer as I hurtle into geezerhood?
    Becoming slaves to risk-assessment management of our lives by statisticians is the antithesis of freedom.  To paraphrase Patrick Henry, I'd rather die young from the consequences of exercising my freedom than to survive into slobbering senility (though some say I'm already there) by being forced to slavishly follow the lifestyles urged upon us by the Healthiopians. --Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com.
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Aug. 21, 2002 PoliSat.Com's Political-Satire/Commentary Daily Update #20020821-01.™©.2002.
It's T-minus-what and still counting 'til Earth gets an asteroid pounding.

    As 2002 NY40* flew by,                                              [*two-thousand-two N-Y forty]
    it served to remind us we ought to ask why
    Manhattan-type projects
    for weapons and rockets
    are not in the works for protecting our skies.
..
See the August 21, 2002, report by Space.Com, which includes a video showing time-lapse passage of Asteroid 2002 NY40 (nearly a half-mile wide) as it missed Earth by a mere 326,000 miles on August 17/18, 2002.  It's nearly half-mile wide size (0.43 miles) made it observable with binoculars.  See also PoliSat.Com's July 24, 2002 Update
** about the prediction for this event; however, within the last few years, there were several "close calls" with dangerously large asteroids not discovered until after they passed near Earth.  See also "T-7 and Counting" and "Modern Day Dinosaurs" .  --Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com. **http://polisat.com/rhymes/r_pantheopians.htm#20020724-01.
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Aug. 20, 2002 PoliSat.Com's Political-Satire/Commentary Daily Update #20020820-01.™©.2002.
Again Bar'bra's singing for people but only the ones who knead people.

    Now Bar'bra who lives in a steeple
    again will raise money for people.
    In sharing her zing,
    for whom will she sing?
    She'll sing for the ones Who Knead People.
..
Inspired by a news report that Streisand will resume raising money for politicians favoring nanny-government and the Priests of the Greenhouse Beliefs. --Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com
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Aug. 19, 2002 PoliSat.Com's Political-Satire/Commentary Daily Update #20020819-01.™©.2002.
Will Donahue sink M-S-N-B-C?

    In industry circles the word has gone out
    M-S-N-B-C has its future in doubt, 
    The boss says it will
    be rescued by Phil
    which shows he forgot touchy-feely is out.
..
Inspired by an Drudge report that MSNBC expects Donahue's ratings to improve this fall-- fat chance. --Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com
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Aug. 18, 2002 PoliSat.Com's Political-Satire/Commentary Daily Update #20020818-01.™©.2002.
The words of Sarandon were clearly bizarre...
... in telling the British how "lucky" they are.


    The words of Sarandon were clearly bizarre
    in telling the British how "lucky" they are
    to "already know"
    what Nine-One-One showed: 
    How terrible "terrorist" incidents are.

    By calling such acts "inexplicable"
    she makes her own views "inexplicable,"
    since terrorists state
    their reasons for hate,
    it's clear the right word's "indefensible."

    Her calling such acts "inexplicable"
    implies fighting back ain't applicable,
    to make it seem chic 
    when activists bleat
    that plans to fight back are despicable.
..
Inspired by an August 17, 2002, report quoting Susan Sarandon as having said to the British Media
:   "[O]ne of the positive results of the September 11 attacks was that it gave America something in common with other countries who have fallen prey to terrorism. 'Afterwards, I said to my kids: "We've joined the rest of the world now",' she said. 'You're so lucky in Ireland, England and Spain. Everyone there already knows what it's like to have inexplicable terrorist violence.' " (Emphasis added.) Does she not remember our embassies having been bombed in Africa?  Does she not remember the first WTC bombing?  Does she not recall Hussein's attempt to assassinate Bush?  It's easy to understand how people who abhor the 9-11 attacks could value the positive effects of the heroism exhibited by Americans in response to it, but how could an ostensibly intelligent person view "our fall[ing] prey to terrorism" having the "positive" effect of giving us "something in common with other countries" but yet also oppose our efforts to counter-attack against such terrorist networks and their supporters?  Doesn't characterization of terrorism as "inexplicable" serve to imply it's insoluble to avoid feeling responsibility to support remedial actions?  --Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com.
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Aug. 17, 2002 PoliSat.Com's Political-Satire/Commentary Daily Update #20020817-01.™©.2002.
We're tired of the fad of popping-up ads.

    Though newspapers' futures are now on the line
    depending on what they're allowing on-line,
    but those that should fail
    are those that impale
    their viewers with ads popping-up ev'ry time.
..
Inspired by an Aug. 16, 2002, Yahoo/AP report on a newspaper-industry conference in which news-group executive, W. Dean Singleton, opined that the future of newspapers is on the internet.  --Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com
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Aug. 16, 2002 PoliSat.Com's Political-Satire/Commentary Daily Update #20020816-01.™©.2002.
They need Jumpin' Jeffords in old Calaveras.

    The jumpin' frogs contest in old Calaveras
    makes animal activists double their efforts
    to stop such abuse.
    So what should we do?
    Use "pols" 'stead of frogs like Vermont's Jumpin' Jeffords.
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Inspired by Yahoo/AP story about animal-activists protesting the annual Calaveras County Jumping Frog Jubilee as "cruel and inhumane."  --Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com
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Aug. 15, 2002 PoliSat.Com's Political-Satire/Commentary Daily Update #20020815-01.™©.2002.
Incentive to wear some Traficant hair.

    We first must repeat what we said
    the day we saw Traficant led
    to jail August sixth
    defiant and slick
    with nothing to cover his head:  

        The last thing that Traficant said?
        'Twas "Beam me up, Scotty," he pled--
        Said Scotty, "Can-do,"
        but all he could do
        was beam-up the rug from his head
.* 

    However, the beam-up was captured
    by Traficant's agents with Napster
    for copies instead
    to beam onto heads
    of fans of the minor-league Scrappers.
..
Inspired by an August 15, 2002, Fox News story about the minor-league baseball team, the Mahoning Valley Scrappers, having designated a game as "Traficant Night" to allow free entry by fans wearing bad wigs to emulate their former congressman, James Traficant, who had played a significant role in persuading the team to locate withing his district. [
*Click here for that August 6, 2002, Daily Update.]  --Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com.
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Aug. 14, 2002 PoliSat.Com's Political-Satire/Commentary Daily Update #20020814-01.™©.2002.
Could judges who drink on the bench invoke A-D-A* in defense?

    A judge from the bench was removed
    for courtroom consumption of booze,
    but could he have pleaded
    'twas treatment he needed
    for list'ning-to-lawyers abuse?
..
Inspired by an August 14, 2002, Yahoo/AP report about a judge resigning amidst charges he'd been drinking on the job. 
*ADA means the Americans with Disabilities Act.    --Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com.
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Aug. 13, 2002 PoliSat.Com's Political-Satire/Commentary Daily Update #20020813-01.™©.2002.
Connecting the dots on dirty-bomb plots.

    Were not those complaining Padilla has not
    been charged with a dirty-bomb criminal plot
    the same ones who whined: 
    "We didn't take time
    before Nine-Eleven 'connecting the dots' "?
..
    Inspired by the Aug. 12 Newsweek article for its Aug. 19 cover-date issue reporting claims that the government does not have a viable dirty-bomb-plot case against Jose Padilla and raising constitutional questions about his being detained incommunicado without being charged on the basis of Bush having designated him an "enemy combatant."  
    Civil libertarians rightly raise legitimate questions about the enormous potential for abuse of such Presidential powers, but how else can investigators "connect the dots" in light of what we know post-9-11 about people found to have associations with Al Qaeda?  
    Should we provide counsel to such detainees and rely solely upon their lawyers' ethical duties to advise them to reveal rather than conceal knowledge about, or plans to aid, or engage in,  prospective
* criminal conduct that could pose a serious threat to human life?  Could such lawyer be in a position to competently evaluate such matter without access to classified information?  
    Shouldn't the government refuse to furnish such information to any lawyer lacking clearance to receive it?  Could we reasonably expect the government to provide a lawyer not shown to be trustworthy with respect to classified information?  Would the detained person trust such a lawyer? 
    If we're compelled to rely upon government lawyers to act ethically in approving such lawyer, why could we not rely those same government lawyers to ethically order release of a detainee when further inquiry fails to justified continued detention?  In either circumstance, we must at some point take a leap of faith in the good faith of government lawyers.  
    Does taking such leap of faith cause an uneasy feeling that doing so may be the start of a slide down the slippery slope to totalitarianism?  Of course it does.  Do we have a better choice at the present?  Our criminal-justice system prefers to let guilty people go free to preserve procedures designed to minimize the risk of imprisoning the innocent, but does that same calculus rationally apply to those reasonably believed to be functioning as, or collaborating with, enemy combatants in warfare by terror likely to employ tactics on the scale of 9-11 or larger? 
    The Newsweek article also questions Ashcroft's motives in calling a press-conference while in Moscow to announce Padilla's apprehension as a suspected dirty-bomb plotter.  Could Aschroft's motives have merely been self-serving or an overreaction?  Of course.  Could Ashcroft's motives instead have been to draw worldwide attention to the detention of Padilla as a means of prompting communications and/or behavior by unknown associates that might reveal their identity and/or additional information about a dirty-bomb plot?  Of course.  I resolve doubts in favor of the latter rather than the former.  
    *The attorney-client privilege not bar an attorney from revealing a client's prospective intent to aid, or engage in, criminal conduct; instead, a lawyer's ethical (and moral) duties require the lawyer to disclose such intent regarding criminal acts that could, or would, pose serious threats to human safety.  Proof that a lawyer advised a client to remain silent rather than furnishing information needed to prevent such criminal acts could serve as a basis for revocation of the lawyer's license to practice. The right to counsel does not include a right to criminal assistance. 
   --Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com
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Aug. 12, 2002 PoliSat.Com's Political-Satire/Commentary Daily Update #20020812-01.™©.2002.
Operation Petticoat:
A new "operation" called "Petticoat" pits DACOWITS' gals against paleos.


Since submarine service began,
we've deemed it a job for a man,
but lately say some:
"One needn't be hung,
to serve as a submarine hand."

For DACOWITS* some impresarios                [*
Defense Advisory Committee On Women In The Service]
said men-only rules are so "paleo,"
and strongly implored
Defense to restore
that old "Operation" called "Petticoat."**           [**
The classic Cary Grant movie "Operation Petticoat" in 1959]

In claiming it's just a canard
that gals on a sub should be barred,
they're missing the rub
that gals on a sub
make service on submarines hard.

The problems in submarine space
arise between denim and lace
when corridors tight
force guys with delight
to squeeze-past the gals face-to-face.

For subs to comport with P-C
they'd neutralize standing relief,
but changes installed
would surely be called
Relief Operation P-Seat.

More potties for feminine parity
would remedy standing disparities,
but two other features
of feminine creatures
can stimulate signs of polarity.

Since polarization conditions
could hamper fulfillment of missions,
they'd have-to devise
for masculine eyes
some blinders to limit their vision.

They'd need special couns'ling, of course,
on board the new submarine force.
To settle disputes,
they'd have-to recruit
some lawyers who handle divorce.

And guys who remain unconvinced
that gals on a sub is good sense
would have-to take classes
on working with lasses
to learn how a gal takes offense.

New language they'd have-to devise
for orders to not go awry
and lead to confusion
and awkward contusions
when sailors hear orders to dive.

They'll need to instill a new credo
revamping traditional lingo,
so women won't fake
the claim, "My head aches,"
when needed to handle torpedoes.

Recruiters would have to promote
campaigns to make gals think it haute
to break the taboos
by joining the crews
who serve in the submarine boats.

With P-C desires to be hip
recruiters proposed a new script:
"In breaking taboos,
the Navy needs you
to serve going down on a ship."

Anonymous-source expositions
declared such proposal a symptom
of hold-over views
for breaking taboos
for service by gals under Clinton.

So Rumsfeld decreed the rescission
of women on submarine missions
on fully detecting
the plans for erecting
the DACOWITS Doctrine of Clinton..
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Inspired by the "Who Needs Satire" segment of McCaslin's 8/12/02 Inside the Beltway column in the Washington Times featuring satirical observations by Ann Sheridan about politically-correct fallout from the DACOWITS Doctrine of the Clinton Era Error..   --Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com
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Aug. 11, 2002 PoliSat.Com's Political-Satire/Commentary Daily Update #20020811-01.™©.2002.
The sycophant-flacker for Bubba confuses the Dubya with Bubba.

    McAuliffe, the sycophant-flacker for Bubba
    alleged that "our trust" has been "squandered" by Dubya,
    but even his brain
    could not be that lame--
    he must've been thinking of Bubba not Dubya.
..
Inspired by reports that in a Aug. 10, 2002, speech to the DNC, Terry McAuliffe said:  "George Bush squandered our trust."  What a bizarre accusation from a flacker for Bubba.  To paraphrase Dion's famous hit in the '60's, Clinton was not only the " Wanderer" but also
the "Squanderer" if one were to focus on who, as President, "squandered our trust."  --Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com.
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Aug. 10, 2002 PoliSat.Com's Political-Satire/Commentary Daily Update #20020810-01.™©.2002.
Now Harrelson spews the chimera  that "warfare on terror is terror."

    When actors like Harrelson spew the chimera* 
    "[America's] war against terror is terror,"** 
    it show's when they're hired
    that brains weren't required
    but also makes clear to support 'em is error.
..
Inspired by the latest instance of moral obtuseness and obsequious groveling to the anti-American segment of the British media by celebrities owing their success to the freedoms guaranteed by the country they revile as a way to ingratiate themselves to the fashionably-anti-American foreign media.  
*This paraphrases Woody Harrelson's statement to the London Mirror on August 9, 2002, that "[America's] war against terrorism is terrorism.  The whole thing is just bullsh_t."    I long ago ceased patronizing any of his "work" after realizing he's a morally blind idiot suffering the delusion that his financial success reflects public admiration for what passes for a thought-process in his cranial cavity.   ** The third-usage meaning of "chimera" is a "mental illusion or fabrication." --Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com.
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Aug. 9, 2002 PoliSat.Com's Political-Satire/Commentary Daily Update #20020809-01.™©.2002.
From Hill'ry an offer to Dubya in Crawford.

    'T'was yesterday Hill'ry at Bush started yelpin'
    that she'd come to Crawford and there she would tell him
    that if he would heed
    her new-spending pleas
    she'd "put-on a pair of [those] work-gloves and help him."

    "No thanks, " replied Bush, "I politely must snub-ya."
    "Just what do you mean?" replied Hill'ry to Dubya.
    Said Bush, "I assume
    your brain's out of tune--
    You've clearly confused me with ex-POTUS Bubba."
..
Inspired by an Aug. 9, 2002, NY Post report that Hillary professed an ability to work in "oppressive heat" and a willingness to "burn down trees, cut brush or remove stumps" to persuade Bush to invite her to his ranch in Crawford, Texas to afford her an opportunity to persuade him to support her proposals for more spending "to monitor the health of Ground Zero workers."   She said, "I'll put on a pair of work gloves and help him."  She also said she would "bring ... construction workers and firefighters and emergency responders," whom I presume she'd select from among the few who didn't boo her in New York at the event in which she tried to glom onto them for transparently self-serving political purposes. --Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com
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Aug. 8, 2002 PoliSat.Com's Political-Satire/Commentary Daily Update #20020808-01.™©.2002.
DeeCee's not desirous to stop the right virus.

    The folks in DeeCee are desirous
    to learn how to stop West-Nile Virus.
    We know eating crow's
    the wrong way to go,
    so how should they battle this Virus?

    The main cause the experts have stressed?
    Mosquitoes on blood-sucking quests--
    ignoring the leader:  
    Potomac-Like Fever
    transmitted by humanoid blood-sucking pests. .
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Inspired by recognition that in preparing to battle the West Nile Virus, DeeCee may be distracted from waging war against a more virulent danger to the public's well being-- i.e., politicians infected with the thus-far incurable Potomac Fever. --Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com
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Aug. 7, 2002 PoliSat.Com's Political-Satire/Commentary Daily Update #20020807-01.™©.2002.
Demanding the "perp-walk" for fraudulent word-talk.

    Since "perp-walks" are right for the hot-shots
    whose fraudulent claims made the stocks drop,
    demand such condition
    for each politician
    who claimed S-S-
I was a "trust fund" or "lockbox."
..
Like most people, I derive satisfaction in seeing private-sector criminals do the "perp walk" (i.e., been shown in the news as while being arrested and carried away in handcuffs), but I would derive even more satisfaction from seeing the same treatment for each politician who has fraudulently claimed that Social Security is a "trust fund" or "lockbox" rather than a pay-as-we-go system based on pyramid-scheme principles.  For a more detailed explanation of what I mean, click the following link to my Update on the subject on March 27, 2001
http://polisat.com/du2001/du010331.htm#20010327-01. --Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com.
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Aug. 6, 2002 PoliSat.Com's Political-Satire/Commentary Daily Update #20020806-01.™©.2002.
The last thing that Traficant said?  'T'was "Beam me up Scotty," he pled.

    The last thing that Traficant said?
    'T'was "Beam me up, Scotty," he pled--
    Said Scotty, "Can-do,"
    but all he could do
    was beam-up the rug from his head.
..
Inspired by watching a brief Fox News story showing Traficant being taken to prison today.  I could no longer see a rug on his head.  I wonder where it went? --Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com
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Aug. 5, 2002 PoliSat.Com's Political-Satire/Commentary Daily Update #20020805-01.™©.2002.
Were Bill's plans in error for blotting-out terror?.

    Though Bubba claims plans that he left
    for blotting-out terror were deft,
    when opened and read
    they're tactics instead
    for blotting-out error-word "F".
..
Inspired by an Aug. 4, 2002 news report about the Bush administration disputing Clinton's claims that he had left them a ready-to-implement plan to blot-out terror.
*The phonic similarity and substantive disparity between the phrase "for blotting-out terror were deft" and "for blotting-out error-word 'F' " illustrate the linguistic skill known as Clinphonics explained in great detail in the Hookered on Clinphonics chapter of the Clinton Liebrary Book 2001 Edition (available here)   --Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com.
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Aug. 4, 2002 PoliSat.Com's Political-Satire/Commentary Daily Update #20020804-01.™©.2002.
An Indian expert presumes our bombing prevented monsoons..

    "Afghanistan bombing," an "expert" presumes,
    "changed India's weather by stopping monsoons,"
    like those who presumed
    the massive, dark plumes
    from wells in Kuwait would stop more than monsoons.

    Remember, the world didn't suffer the grief
    predicted by Priests of the Greenhouse Beliefs 
    when hundreds of wells
    kept burning like Hell
    'til long past the time when Saddam met defeat.
..
Inspired by an August 2, 2002, news report that a "scientist" for the Indian government claims American bombs in Afghanistan released "large volumes of greenhouse gases" and thereby prevented the "monsoon" season in "parts of India."  This reminds me of the dire predictions of world-wide weather and farming catastrophes predicted by the Priests of the Greenhouse Beliefs while the burning inferno of hundreds of Kuwaiti oil wells were belching almost incalculable amounts of "greenhouse" gases and carbon particulates into the atmosphere-- and, as we all now know, such dire predictions did not come true.  Could it be that the Indian scientist is trying to lay a foundation for India to seek "compensation" from America for alleged damage to its "monsoon" season?  --Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com
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Aug. 3, 2002 PoliSat.Com's Political-Satire/Commentary Daily Update #20020803-01.™©.2002.
Were news reports right that Bubba would fight?.

    If war on Israelis Saddam were to try
    't'was thought Bubba said he'd "partake, fight and die"
    in saving Israelis,
    but list'ners were hasty--
    Instead what he said was he'd take-flight and lie.
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Inspired by an August 2, 2002, news report that at a fundraiser for a Jewish charity, Clinton told the audience "If Iraq came across the Jordan River, I would grab a rifle and get in the trench and fight and die..."   To become an expert in translating Clintonese, study the "Hookered on Clinphonics" method in the
Clinton Liebrary Book 2001 Edition. --Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com.
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Aug. 2, 2002 PoliSat.Com's Political-Satire/Commentary Daily Update #20020802-01.™©.2002.
The Senators shrieking at charges of leaking..

    We've read the reports about Senators shrieking
    that polygraph agents would test 'em for leaking,
    but generally speaking
    we all know that leaking
    occurs ev'ry time that a Senator's speaking.
..
Inspired by an Aug. 2, 2002, news report that Senators have objected to requests by FBI agents that the Senators submit to polygraph examination in the FBI's examination of post-9-11 leaks of information from classified briefings of Senators.  --Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com
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Aug. 1, 2002 PoliSat.Com's Political-Satire/Commentary Daily Update #20020801-01.™©.2002.
A warning:  Cats croak from second-hand smoke..

    Reports "Cats die young around smokers"
    inspire me as dog-ownin' smoker
    to offer free smokes
    to all of the folks
    with cats as their pets who ain't yet become smokers.
..
Inspired my suggestions to me by dog after he read an August 1, 2002, news report claiming "second hand smoke" increases the risks of some kinds of lymphoma among cats owned by smokers.  Don't blame me-- blame my nicotine-induced susceptibility to thought-control by my dog, who started bringing me cigarettes when one of my kids brought a cat home.  --Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com
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