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PoliSat Rhymes about...
Defense and the Military.
(To go to our main page for Defense and the Military, click here.)  (Go to Index to PoliSat Rhymes)
Related topics:  D-DayMemorial DayNukes.


Index to limericks/rhymes about defense and the military:   .
Baby boomers.01Chairborne Rangers.01D-DayDraft.01Generals.01. Intrepid Fallen Heroes Fund·01·  Los Alamos.01.02Memorial DayMissile defense.01NukesOperation Petticoat.01Patriot (the movie).01Professorial Pretense.01Sex.01.02Submarines.01. USS Cole.01.02Volunteers.01Women in military.01.02.


.
Again Foggy Bottom speaks Jetsam & Flotsam (limerick 20001017-01)
    Diplomacy's often complex,
    and sometimes its double-talk text
    must serve as a ruse
    in hopes to confuse
    fanatics who don't wish us best.
    But sometimes we must speak our mind
    in words that are clearly defined,
    which don't minimize
    American lives
    to calm-down fanatical minds.

    The deaths on the USS Cole
    must not be a story untold.
    Don't let those at State
    instruct V-O-A
    to just let the story grow old.
© 2000 --Inspired by 10-17-00 Drudge Report revealing a State Department memo to VOA disapproving an anti-terrorism editorial (to be broadcast in the Middle East) on the ground that the "17 or so dead sailors [who died in the bombing of the USS Cole in a Yemeni harbor do] not compare to the 100+ Palestinians who have died in recent weeks...."

Non-Satirical limerick:  Reflecting on the 10-12-00 
bombing of the USS Cole in port at Yemen, we pause 
to express sympathy to the victims and their families 
and thanks to those who continuously risk danger to
keep us strong and free.
(20001014-01)
    On Thursday, the Twelfth of October
    the USS Cole was exploded.
    We humbly give thanks
    to those in the ranks,
    who face danger over and over.
© 2000

Protection from rogue-state missiles:  
Trust rocket science or treaty compliance?
(limerick 20000708-01)
    When Cosmonaut spacemen were first 
    to get to an earth-orbit perch,
    we tried to catch up 
    but rockets blew up 
    and seemed to leave us in the lurch.
    But we weren't deterred by such failures, 
    and just like Columbus the sailor,
    we kept on trying.  
    For what were we vying?  
    A future that's brighter not paler.

    Today's test for missile defense ...  
    malfunctioned and didn't convince
    the folks who propose 
    defense against rogues 
    be diplomats' papers and pens.
    Remember way back in the Eighties, 
    the same folks said Reagan was crazy ... .
    To say we'd be stronger 
    and we would no longer 
    trust only in arms-treaty phrases.
  
© 2000 (20000708-01)

Impression of the new movie, The Patriot. (imerick 20000701-01)
    I just saw the new movie Patriot
    a movie I found quite audacious.
    It clearly reveals:   
    excesses in zeal 
    compete with our more noble nature.
    The son of the man played by Gibson 
    quite strongly resisted temptation.
    Because he knew hate 
    would stand in the way 
    of goals for a noble, new nation.

    And likewise, the slave who joined with 'em, 
    whose first goal was gaining his freedom--
    Then used his new rights 
    to risk his own life 
    with hopes to give other slaves freedom.  
© 2000

Los Alamos hard-drives-- 
Where did they go?
  ( limericks 20000613-01)
    Los Alamos hard-drives are key 
    to stopping a Nuke-'Em-High spree.
    So back in late April, 
    a Richardson cable 
    said keep 'em as safe as can be !
    And what did they see as the danger?  
    A fire set by fed'ral park rangers
    'Cause ev'ryone knows 
    how strong the wind blows 
    except of course fed'ral park rangers.

    And this gave the scientists jitters 
    'cause rangers just care about critters.
    So scientists hired  
    an expert on fire
    but sadly he was the low bidder.
    To save things from fire on the way, 
    it's best to just move them away.
    The next best protection 
    is water convection 
    for things that are not moved away.

    And so the low-bidder proposed  
    to use not just one way but both.
    For safety through distance 
    and water resistance, 
    he code-named his plan "flush-and-go."
    He stationed a worker beside  
    the room with the hard-drives inside.
    His recommendation 
    required simulation 
    to be sure the drives would survive.

    But on that poor worker's first day, 
    he heard the words "Fire's on the way!"
    He thought it was real 
    and not just a drill, 
    and so he just flushed them away.
    They searched for them thirty-some days 
    'til driven away by a blaze.
    Then there were leaks 
    that prospects were bleak 
    and searchers were panicked and dazed.

    But miracles happen each day, 
    and now all the hard-drives are safe,
    It's hard to believe, 
    but they were retrieved 
    from toilets at Al Gore Estates
© 2000

Professorial Pretense Weakens National Defense (a limerick 20000518-01)
    Since making our whole military 
    a force that is just voluntary,
    those who would never 
    attempt such endeavor 
    would use them like miners' canaries.
    Of course risk is part of the job 
    with danger to life, limb and bod'
    But those who won't serve 
    still muster the nerve 
    to use them for social jihads.

    As orders get taller and taller, 
    our forces get smaller and smaller.
    It's too sad to laugh, 
    'cause absent a draft, 
    our forces quite soon will be hollow.
    How can we alter this trend 
    in light of the risks it portends?
    Renewing the draft 
    will soon be the path 
    to have an effective defense.

    A draft would impose common-sense 
    on do-gooders'  tough-guy pretense.

    That would be good 
    'cause ev'ry man should 
    learn how to be part of defense.
    If ev'ry man had to pay dues 
    by having to face draftee blues.
    Many would lose 
    their do-gooder views 
    by walking in battlefield shoes
 
© 2000

Closing the "Digital Divide" 
(with a little help from the State Dept.)
(limerick 20000506-01)
    Since Clinton and Gore now decry 
    a digital high-tech divide
    Isn't it great 
    that workers at State 
    now leave all their doors open wide?
    Others in need just can't wait 
    to get their new laptops from State
    They'll just get in line 
    and say "This one's mine," 
    then "Thanks" as they run for the gate
.
 
© 2000

Belated "thanks" to those in the ranks (limerick 20000430-01)
    Some baby-boomers still cling 
    to views in their Sixty-Eight Spring.
    They now pay lip-service 
    to those who did service 
    in words with a quite hollow ring.
    Regrets they distribute like crumbs 
    for treating our soldiers like bums.
    They still do not see 
    Vietnam would be 
    a much better place if we'd won.

    With their kids not subject to draft, 
    they suddenly learned a new craft.
    Those dads and moms 
    demanded we bomb 
    the Serbs as our new moral task.
    It just goes to show more and more, 
    it matters whose ox will be gored.
    When they became charmed 
    with safety from harm, 
    their true colors came to the fore.
 
© 2000
....
.
Operation Petticoat:
A new "operation" called "Petticoat" pits DACOWITS' gals against paleos.


Since submarine service began,
we've deemed it a job for a man,
but lately say some:
"One needn't be hung,
to serve as a submarine hand."

For DACOWITS* some impresarios                [*
Defense Advisory Committee On Women In The Service]
said men-only rules are so "paleo,"
and strongly implored
Defense to restore
that old "Operation" called "Petticoat."**           [**
The classic Cary Grant movie "Operation Petticoat" in 1959]

In claiming it's just a canard
that gals on a sub should be barred,
they're missing the rub
that gals on a sub
make service on submarines hard.

The problems in submarine space
arise between denim and lace
when corridors tight
force guys with delight
to squeeze-past the gals face-to-face.

For subs to comport with P-C
they'd neutralize standing relief,
but changes installed
would surely be called
Relief Operation P-Seat.

More potties for feminine parity
would remedy standing disparities,
but two other features
of feminine creatures
can stimulate signs of polarity.

Since polarization conditions
could hamper fulfillment of missions,
they'd have-to devise
for masculine eyes
some blinders to limit their vision.

They'd need special couns'ling, of course,
on board the new submarine force.
To settle disputes,
they'd have-to recruit
some lawyers who handle divorce.

And guys who remain unconvinced
that gals on a sub is good sense
would have-to take classes
on working with lasses
to learn how a gal takes offense.

New language they'd have-to devise
for orders to not go awry
and lead to confusion
and awkward contusions
when sailors hear orders to dive.

They'll need to instill a new credo
revamping traditional lingo,
so women won't fake
the claim, "My head aches,"
when needed to handle torpedoes.

Recruiters would have to promote
campaigns to make gals think it haute
to break the taboos
by joining the crews
who serve in the submarine boats.

With P-C desires to be hip
recruiters proposed a new script:
"In breaking taboos,
the Navy needs you
to serve going down on a ship."

Anonymous-source expositions
declared such proposal a symptom
of hold-over views
for breaking taboos
for service by gals under Clinton.

So Rumsfeld decreed the rescission
of women on submarine missions
on fully detecting
the plans for erecting
the DACOWITS Doctrine of Clinton..
..
Inspired by the "Who Needs Satire" segment of McCaslin's 8/12/02 Inside the Beltway column in the Washington Times featuring satirical observations by Ann Sheridan about politically-correct fallout from the DACOWITS Doctrine of the Clinton Era Error..   --Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com
.
Direct link for this Update:   http://polisat.com/du2002/du020831.htm#20020812-01.™©.2002.

This is an updated, revised version of the original limerick about a "New Operation Petticoat" originally published in April, 2000.

When Generals Grope Generals (limerick 20000331-01).
---Inspired by  03-31-00 FoxNews report that Gen. Claudia Kennedy says a general groped her.
    When sexual harassment is claimed 
    by armed-forces gals, who gets blamed?
    Not just harassers 
    but also top-brassers 
    for not inculcating restraint
    Each time that a grunt gropes a dame, 
    his chain of command gets the blame
    With claims that it shows 
    they're just not gung-ho 
    in teaching respect t'wards the dames

    However, it's too much to hope, 
    when generals by generals are groped,
    that those who just blame 
    those high in the chain 
    will focus on Slick Willie's gropes.
    Those same folks had called it a reach, 
    when Congressmen said, "Let's impeach"
    Apparently they  
    must think it's okay  
    when gals are impaled by the Chief.
 
© 2000.