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PoliSat
Rhymes about...
Defense and the Military.
(To go to our main page for Defense and the Military, click
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Rhymes)
Related topics: D-Day. Memorial
Day. Nukes.
Index
to limericks/rhymes about defense and the military: .
Baby boomers.01.
Chairborne Rangers.01.
D-Day. Draft.01.
Generals.01. Intrepid
Fallen Heroes Fund·01·
Los Alamos.01.02.
Memorial Day.
Missile defense.01.
Nukes. Operation
Petticoat.01. Patriot
(the movie).01. Professorial
Pretense.01. Sex.01.02.
Submarines.01. USS
Cole.01.02.
Volunteers.01.
Women
in military.01.02.
.
Again Foggy Bottom speaks
Jetsam & Flotsam (limerick 20001017-01)
Diplomacy's often complex,
and sometimes its double-talk text
must serve as a ruse
in hopes to confuse
fanatics who don't wish us best.
But sometimes we must speak our mind
in words that are clearly defined,
which don't minimize
American lives
to calm-down fanatical minds.
The deaths on the USS Cole
must not be a story untold.
Don't let those at State
instruct V-O-A
to just let the story grow old.
© 2000 --Inspired by 10-17-00
Drudge Report revealing a State Department memo to VOA disapproving an
anti-terrorism editorial (to be broadcast in the Middle East) on the ground that
the "17 or so dead sailors [who died in the bombing of the USS Cole in a
Yemeni harbor do] not compare to the 100+ Palestinians who have died in recent
weeks...."
Non-Satirical limerick: Reflecting on the 10-12-00
bombing of the USS Cole in port at Yemen, we pause
to express sympathy to the victims and their families
and thanks to those who continuously risk danger to
keep us strong and free. (20001014-01)
On Thursday, the Twelfth of October
the USS Cole was exploded.
We humbly give thanks
to those in the ranks,
who face danger over and over.
© 2000
Protection from rogue-state missiles:
Trust
rocket science or treaty compliance? (limerick 20000708-01)
When Cosmonaut spacemen were first
to get to an earth-orbit perch,
we tried to catch up
but rockets blew up
and seemed to leave us
in the lurch.
But we weren't deterred by such failures,
and just like Columbus the sailor,
we kept on trying.
For what were we vying?
A future that's brighter
not paler.
Today's test for missile defense ...
malfunctioned and didn't convince
the folks who propose
defense against rogues
be diplomats' papers and pens.
Remember way back in the Eighties,
the same folks said Reagan was crazy ...
.
To say we'd be stronger
and we would no longer
trust only in arms-treaty phrases.
© 2000 (20000708-01)
Impression of the new movie, The Patriot.
(imerick 20000701-01)
I just saw the new movie Patriot,
a
movie I found quite audacious.
It clearly reveals:
excesses in
zeal
compete with our more noble nature.
The son of the man played by Gibson
quite strongly
resisted temptation.
Because he knew hate
would stand in the way
of goals for a noble, new nation.
And likewise, the slave who joined with 'em,
whose first goal was gaining his
freedom--
Then used his new rights
to risk his own life
with hopes to give other slaves
freedom.
© 2000
Los Alamos hard-drives--
Where did they go?
( limericks 20000613-01)
Los Alamos hard-drives are key
to stopping a Nuke-'Em-High spree.
So back in late April,
a Richardson cable
said keep 'em as safe as can be !
And what did they see as the danger?
A fire set by
fed'ral park rangers
'Cause ev'ryone knows
how strong the wind blows
except of course fed'ral park
rangers.
And this gave the scientists jitters
'cause rangers just care about critters.
So scientists hired
an expert on fire,
but sadly he was the low
bidder.
To save things from fire on the way,
it's best to just
move them away.
The next best protection
is water convection
for things that are not moved away.
And so the low-bidder proposed
to use not just one way but both.
For safety through distance
and water resistance,
he code-named his plan
"flush-and-go."
He stationed a worker beside
the room with the
hard-drives inside.
His recommendation
required simulation
to be sure the drives would survive.
But on that poor worker's first day,
he heard the words "Fire's on the
way!"
He thought it was real
and not just a drill,
and so he just flushed them away.
They searched for them thirty-some days
'til driven away
by a blaze.
Then there were leaks
that prospects were bleak
and searchers were panicked and
dazed.
But miracles happen each day,
and now all the hard-drives are safe,
It's hard to believe,
but they were retrieved
from toilets at
Al Gore Estates.
© 2000
Professorial Pretense
Weakens National Defense (a limerick
20000518-01)
Since making our whole military
a force that is just voluntary,
those who would never
attempt such endeavor
would use them like miners' canaries.
Of course risk is part of the job
with danger to life, limb and bod'
But those who won't serve
still muster the nerve
to use them for social jihads.
As orders get taller and taller,
our forces get smaller and smaller.
It's too sad to laugh,
'cause absent a draft,
our forces quite soon will be
hollow.
How can we alter this trend
in light of the risks it portends?
Renewing the draft
will soon be the path
to have an effective defense.
A draft would impose common-sense
on do-gooders' tough-guy pretense.
That would be good
'cause ev'ry man should
learn how to be part of defense.
If ev'ry man had to pay dues
by having to face draftee blues.
Many would lose
their do-gooder views
by walking in battlefield shoes
© 2000
Closing the "Digital Divide"
(with a little help from the State Dept.)
(limerick 20000506-01)
Since Clinton and Gore now decry
a digital high-tech divide
Isn't it great
that workers at State
now leave all their doors open wide?
Others in need just can't wait
to get their new
laptops from State
They'll just get in line
and say "This one's mine,"
then "Thanks"
as they run for the gate.
© 2000
Belated "thanks" to those in
the ranks (limerick 20000430-01)
Some baby-boomers still cling
to views in their Sixty-Eight Spring.
They now
pay lip-service
to those who did service
in words with a quite hollow ring.
Regrets they distribute like crumbs
for
treating our soldiers like bums.
They still do not see
Vietnam would be
a much better place if we'd won.
With their kids not subject to draft,
they suddenly learned a new craft.
Those dads and moms
demanded we bomb
the Serbs as our new moral task.
It just goes to show more and more,
it
matters whose ox will be gored.
When they became charmed
with safety from harm,
their true colors came to the fore.
© 2000
.....
Operation
Petticoat:
A new "operation" called "Petticoat" pits DACOWITS'
gals against paleos.
Since submarine service began,
we've deemed it a job for a man,
but lately say some:
"One needn't be hung,
to serve as a submarine hand."
For DACOWITS* some impresarios
[*Defense Advisory Committee On Women In The
Service]
said men-only rules are so "paleo,"
and strongly implored
Defense to restore
that old "Operation" called "Petticoat."**
[**The classic Cary Grant movie
"Operation Petticoat" in
1959]
In claiming it's just a canard
that gals on a sub should be barred,
they're missing the rub
that gals on a sub
make service on submarines hard.
The problems in submarine space
arise between denim and lace
when corridors tight
force guys with delight
to squeeze-past the gals face-to-face.
For subs to comport with P-C
they'd neutralize standing relief,
but changes installed
would surely be called
Relief Operation P-Seat.
More potties for feminine parity
would remedy standing disparities,
but two other features
of feminine creatures
can stimulate signs of polarity.
Since polarization conditions
could hamper fulfillment of missions,
they'd have-to devise
for masculine eyes
some blinders to limit their vision.
They'd need special couns'ling, of course,
on board the new submarine force.
To settle disputes,
they'd have-to recruit
some lawyers who handle divorce.
And guys who remain unconvinced
that gals on a sub is good sense
would have-to take classes
on working with lasses
to learn how a gal takes offense.
New language they'd have-to devise
for orders to not go awry
and lead to confusion
and awkward contusions
when sailors hear orders to dive.
They'll need to instill a new credo
revamping traditional lingo,
so women won't fake
the claim, "My head aches,"
when needed to handle torpedoes.
Recruiters would have to promote
campaigns to make gals think it haute
to break the taboos
by joining the crews
who serve in the submarine boats.
With P-C desires to be hip
recruiters proposed a new script:
"In breaking taboos,
the Navy needs you
to serve going down on a ship."
Anonymous-source expositions
declared such proposal a symptom
of hold-over views
for breaking taboos
for service by gals under Clinton.
So Rumsfeld decreed the
rescission
of women on submarine missions
on fully detecting
the plans for erecting
the DACOWITS Doctrine of Clinton..
..
Inspired by the "Who Needs Satire" segment of McCaslin's
8/12/02 Inside the Beltway column in the Washington Times
featuring satirical observations by Ann Sheridan about politically-correct
fallout from the DACOWITS Doctrine of the Clinton
Era Error..
--Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com.
Direct link for
this Update: http://polisat.com/du2002/du020831.htm#20020812-01.™©.2002.
This is an updated, revised version of the original limerick about a "New
Operation Petticoat" originally published in April,
2000.
When Generals Grope
Generals
(limerick 20000331-01).
---Inspired by
03-31-00
FoxNews report that Gen. Claudia Kennedy says a general groped
her.
When sexual harassment is claimed
by armed-forces gals, who gets blamed?
Not just harassers
but also top-brassers
for not inculcating restraint
Each time that a grunt gropes
a dame,
his chain of command gets the blame
With claims that it shows
they're just not gung-ho
in teaching respect t'wards
the dames
However, it's too much to hope,
when generals by generals are groped,
that those who just blame
those high in the chain
will focus on Slick Willie's
gropes.
Those same folks had called
it a reach,
when Congressmen said, "Let's impeach"
Apparently they
must think it's okay
when gals are impaled by the Chief.
© 2000.
