·support our troops, support Bush, support Cheney, support victory in Iraq, support victory in Afghanistan,  Clinton Liebrary, http://PoliSat.Com , PoliSatDOTcom, Salute America's Heroes, Fallen Heroes Fund, oppose Gore's Global Warming theory, support milblogs, Michael Yon, Pat Dollard, BlackFive, MilBlogs, MilBlogging, Michael Yon, Mudville Gazette, HotAir.Com, JawaReport, PajamasMedia , VictoryCaucus , VetsForFreedom , FreedomsWatch , DayByDayCartoon , WrennCom.Com , Video , Political Satire, Politics, News, oppose MoveOn.Org, oppose Code Pink, oppose DailyKos, oppose ANSWER, support PoliSat.Com, support WrennCom.Com, ·


WWW PoliSat.Com 

  First Things First:  Salute America's Heroes · Fallen Heroes Fund · Frequent-Flyer-Miles for Troops · Thanks to Troops · Military News ··  MilBlogs ·

  Home · Posts:  Current /Recent · Videos/Toons/Songs:  Latest · Embed-Codes · Text Index · Images Index · Archives:  Old · New · About · Contact · Syndication · Affiliates ·

News  Sources/Papers/Magazines   Pundits  Blogs   ThinkTanks   What is "property"?   Pantheopians   Global Climate   Asteroids/Comets Hitting Earth--Risks/Predictions    Science   GlobalWeb  


Political Satire Daily Updates.©2000
Archive Page for April, 2000:.
This Page contains Daily Updates for April, 2000.  To go to our current Daily Update Page, click here.  To go to our Daily Update Archives, click here..

2000-04-30 Daily Update-
01 © 2000
Belated "thanks" to those in the ranks (a limerick)
    Some baby-boomers still cling 
    to views in their Sixty-Eight Spring.
now pay lip-service 
    to those who did service 
    in words with a quite hollow ring.
    Regrets they distribute like crumbs 
    for treating our soldiers like bums
    They still do not see 
    Vietnam would be 
    a much better place if we'd won

    With their kids not subject to draft, 
    they suddenly learned a new craft.
    Those dads and moms 
    demanded we bomb 
    the Serbs as our new moral task.
    It just goes to show more and more, 
    it matters whose ox will be gored
    Once they were charmed 
    with safety from harm, 
    their true colors came to the fore. 

© 2000

2000-04-29 Daily Update-
01 © 2000
White House Correspondents' Dinner--
A Tour De Force in Self-Adulation
. (a limerick)
    The dinner for those correspondents 
    who crave all the White House resplendence
    reveals what they are
    just wannabe stars 
    instead of good sources of evidence.
    Conceived to display to the nation 
    their talents at self-deprecation
    It has become  
    like Oscar for some  
    who wallow in self-adulation. 

© 2000

2000-04-28 Daily Update-
01 © 2000
APocrisy On Parade (AP Hypocrisy) (a limerick)
    The AP is eager to preach 
    the value of having free speech.
    Except when a speaker 
    or parody tweaker 
    incorporates pics from AP.
    One need not know science for rockets 
    to know the AP makes its profits
    by selling its pictures 
    of folks in dire strictures 
    without paying them any profits.

    So why should AP get upset 
    and recklessly make foolish threats
    at Lathrop and Bonner 
    whose parody genre 
    used pics of young Elian's "arrest"?
    If you want the AP to hear 
    your views then just simply click here
    They need to learn 
    they're way out of turn 
    instilling those comics with fear.

    And if you're inclined to support 
    good parody as a safe sport,
    tell Lathrop and Bonner, 
    "Continue your genre" 
    by mocking those dumb AP dorks 
© 2000 (
Inspired by the Associated Press's ridiculous reaction to Lathrop and Bonner using the AP's Elian-at-gunpoint picture to make a video parody of the scene., which they call "elian, true ... aka stormtroopers, true."  For more information about this controversy and to learn how/where to contact Lathrop and Bonner and/or the AP regarding this matter, click here.

2000-04-27 Daily Update-
01 © 2000
The Sad Saga of Elian Gonzales. (a limerick)
    Most folks have known from the start, 
    it's better to be lucky than smart.
    So when one is wrong, 
    the polls go along 
    if critics' behavior's bizarre.
    The fisherman's craving for fame 
    has now given him a bad name.
    He did a good deed 
    but now seems to need 
    his own fifteen minutes of fame.

    The surrogate mom's strong emotions 
    for Elian found on the ocean
    inspire her to say 
    weird things every day 
    that stir up a lot of commotion.
    Those who ain't shakers and movers 
    are quite often prone to say bloopers.
    It's just a sad fact, 
    such comments distract 
    from wrong-headed use of storm troopers.

    Of course it makes all of us sad 
    when children are kept from their dads
    All of us feel 
    the dad's pain was real, 
    but who most prolonged it for dad?
    Fidel should have let the dad come 
    right after they found his young son
    But waiting so long 
    just strengthened the bond 
    with those taking care of his son.

    If my gov'ment kept me away 
    so long from my son far away
    I know I'd feel rage 
    at being encaged 
    and not those by whom he was saved !
    So now what's the best thing to do?  
    The court should find out what is true.
    Unless Elian's dad 
    is shown to be bad, 
    then he must decide what to do.

    Since life under Castro is slavery, 
    defection requires so much bravery.
    So if Juan rejects 
    a chance to defect, 
    we're left with a choice that's unsavory.
    But when we conclude that we must 
    let Juan say, "It's Cuba or bust,"
    Let's not pretend 
    that freedom won't end 
    for Elian, whose brain will be washed.

    And we should make clear we're enraged 
    that kids at a tender, young age
    Are taken away
    to work every day 
    to function as government slaves.
    It also would surely be nice 
    if those who proclaim parents' rights
    would finally admit 
    they just don't exist 
    in Castro's alleged paradise.

© 2000

2000-04-26 Daily Update-
01 © 2000
Knock, knock.  Who's there? Reno!  Reno who?  
Renovate your house!
. (a limerick)
    From Thanksgiving Day Ninety-Nine 
    until the next April was fine
    For Castro to say, 
    "Miguel, stay away" 
    from going to see Elian.
    When finally he let Juan come here, 
    we then heard the guy with the beard
    Suddenly say 
    there should be no delay 
    so Juan could stop shedding his tears.

    Then twenty days later near dawn, 
    Ms. Reno conversed on the phone
    with friends she had asked 
    to help in the task. 
    of bridging the gap for Elian.
    And though Reno heard her friends say 
    "A deal is just minutes away,"
    She then made the blooper 
    of sending storm troopers 
    to carry the poor kid away.

© 2000

2000-04-25 Daily Update-
01 © 2000
Reno Seizes Bill Gates in Pre-Dawn Raid; 
Robert Ray goes into hiding
Modeling her success in seizing Elian, Janet Reno's Armored Cavalry Division of the Justice Department seized Bill Gates in a lightning-fast, pre-dawn raid this morning.  Although Gates was seen being dragged kicking and screaming into a fuel-efficient but well-armored Justice Department mini-van (captioned "Reno One") during pre-dawn hours this morning,  pictures surfaced several hours later showing him happily playing a new video-game, "Chop-Up Microsoft" on a Justice Department laptop.  In a related story, Independent Counsel Robert Ray has gone into hiding. © 2000 

2000-04-21 through 2000-04-24 No Daily Update

2000-04-20 Daily Update-
01 © 2000.
Hey!  Dubya-- Read the First Amendment-- Please ! (a limerick)
    Political speech can't be free 
    if speakers are regulatees
    some rules that will
    all unruly critics they see.
    I understand why you don't like 
anti-Bush parody site.
    As bad as it is, 
    a "worser" thing is 
    control via government might.

    In politics, it is alright 
    to change and say "I see the light"
    So open your eyes 
    and see how unwise 
    is gov'ment control of the light.
    So-what if the site's in bad taste 
    in mocking your Y2K race?
    Freedom of speech 
    is what we must preach 
    'cause that is America's Ace.

    James Madison never would be 
    for licensing critics, you see?
    So please take a stand 
    for freedom, my man-- 
    abolish that (bleep) FEC. 
© 2000  (
Reference:  Dallas Morning News report on 04-19-00 about the FEC's right-result, wrong-reason rejection of Bush's request for the FEC to require an anti-Bush parody web-site to "register" with the FEC; See also my prior opinion on the same subject.  Jim Wrenn, editor@polisat.com.)

2000-04-19 Daily Update-
02 © 2000
What would a loving dad do? (a limerick)
    Since the court ruled late today, 
    we heard Juan Miguel's lawyer say
    It's terribly bad 
    for this loving dad 
    to wait for his son one more day
    As one who's a dad I must say, 
    I don't understand the dad's ways
    'Cause if I were Juan 
    I'd have long ago gone 
    to comfort my son right away
© 2000

2000-04-19 Daily Update-
01 © 2000
Child Labor. (a limerick)
    Big Labor sings loudly its tune 
    that NAFTA's a bane not a boon
    When kids work for money 
    to help dad and mommy 
    but not when they work for communes.
    Among those so eager to tell 
    young Elian to join Juan Miguel,
    where's the outrage 
    that at a young age, 
    tobacco he'll chop for Fidel?

    We might have no choice but to send 
    the poor kid to Cuba again
    But let's not pretend 
    it's wrong to condemn 
    the things that will happen to him
    When our fam'ly-farm agriculture 
    needed all help it could muster,
    the kids worked long hours 
    as tillers and plowers 
    to help their own fam'lies do better.

    But even in those bygone times, 
    folks would have thought it a crime
    For gov'ment to say 
    kids must go away 
    to give gov'ment all of their time. 
© 2000

2000-04-18 Daily Update-
01 © 2000
Hardball-- Runs, Hits & Errors (a limerick)
PoliSat.Com our delight 
Hardball to watch ev'ry night
    Although Chris is
    he isn't
    of courage to sometimes be right.
    Although it's quite clear that he's smart, 
    too often he thinks with his heart.
    The proof of the pudding 
    for him is do-gooding 
    with government playing the part.

    'Though mostly he goes right along 
    with do-gooders' plans for the throngs,
    once in a while 
    with candor and style 
    he's willing to say "I was wrong." 
© 2000

2000-04-17 Daily Update-
01 © 2000
When Everyman Becomes an Investor. (a limerick)
    Now that we have quite a lot 
    of people investing in stocks,
    many have learned 
    that nothing is earned 
    without risks from bottom to top.
    And so as more people invest 
    to get the returns that are best,
    there's hope that they will  
    stop falling for shills  
    who claim gov'ment goodies are best.

© 2000

2000-04-16 Daily Update-
01 © 2000
No update today.

2000-04-15 Daily Update-
01 © 2000
Gore to the Rescue (4-14-00 proposal for federal ban against guns in church) (a limerick)
    Thank goodness for candidate Gore 
    to warn us of danger in store
    It ain't Chinese funds 
    from kind Buddhist nuns, 
    it's gun-toting Texas church-goers 
© 2000

2000-04-14 Daily Update-
02 © 2000
Clinton's Library (a limerick about the 04-13-00 story about his Presidential Library plans)
    Slick Willie says he's not ashamed 
    impeachment now goes with his name.
    He says his Library 
    will show the contrary
    impeachers just played a mean game.
    He claims that historians will rave 
    that our Constitution he saved.
    He's willing to bet 
    that they will forget 
    his pattern of being depraved.

    Since his Library will boast 
    a legacy better than most
    We'll need a place 
    to show his true face 
    in order to counter such boast
    And so all his lies won't be buried, 
    there should be a
Clinton Liebrary.
    So if you agree, 
click here to see 
    how you can support the
© 2000

2000-04-14 Daily Update-
01 © 2000
The Plight of Elian Gonzales-- 
The Blame/Shame Game
(a limerick)
    Everyone has an opinion on 
    what should be done with young Elian.
    Since I am a dad, 
    I know I'd be sad, 
    if I couldn't comfort my son
    But since it was last-year's Thanksgiving 
    when fishermen rescued young Elian,
    who was to blame 
    and who should feel shame 
    that Juan couldn't then come for Elian?

    It wasn't young Elian's keepers 
    who kept Juan from getting a visa.
    Fidel is the one 
    who wouldn't give Juan 
    permission to leave with a visa.
    It's clear common-sense would suggest 
    that then it would not have been best
    to force the boy found 
    who saw his mom drown 
    to quickly depart a safe nest.

    So if Castro really had cared 
    about the young boy who was scared,
    he would have given 
    the dad his permission 
    to go to the side of his lad.
    One's thinking need not be adroit 
    to know who was first to exploit.
    We know it was Castro 
    and not Uncle Laz'ro 
    who kept dad and son far apart.
© 2000

2000-04-13 Daily Update-
01 © 2000
Waiting for Reno....
    We waited all day 
    to hear Reno say 
    that she doesn't know what to say. 
© 2000

2000-04-12 Daily Update-
01 © 2000
The Defense DeJour. (a limerick)
    If Ray says that Willie's intent 
    established a crim'nal offense
    It's Kendall's prediction:  
    "There'll be no conviction-- 
    Viagra will be his defense."  
© 2000

2000-04-11 Daily Update-
01 © 2000
What's best for Elian:  
Grief-counseling a must?
"Cuba or bust"? (a limerick)
    When kids see a death, you can trust 
    that libs say grief-couns'ling's a must,
    but for the boy found 
    who saw his mom drown, 
    they only say "Cuba or bust." 
© 2000

2000-04-10 Daily Update-
01 © 2000
Updated Broadway play soon to become a big hit in Cuba: My Fair Elian     
    Fidel:  The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain
Elian:  The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain
    Fidel:   I think he's got it!  By Che, he's got it!
    Fidel:  Your rel-a-tives in Flor-i-da are pi-igs!
    Elian:  My rel-a-tives in Flor-i-da are pi-igs
    Fidel:   I think he's got it!  By Che, he's got it!
    Fidel:  Your mo-ther was a crim-i-nal to flee-ee!
    Elian:  My mo-ther was a crim-i-nal to flee-ee!
    Fidel:   I think he's got it!  By Che, he's got it! 
© 2000

2000-04-09 Daily Update-
02 © 2000
Janet Reno's list of things she believes.
    I believe Juan Miguel Gonzales is free to speak his mind.
    I believe Al Gore was just spiritually communing with the Buddhist nuns.
    I believe Clinton/Gore didn't know they were receiving money from the Chinese-government.
    I believe some right-wing conspirator had hidden those files in the First Lady's office.
    I believe the White House Travel Office personnel deserved to be accused of wrongdoing.
    I believe the government best knows how Microsoft can contribute to high-tech progress.
    I believe O.J. Simpson is still looking for the real killer.
    I believe the Brooklyn Bridge is still for sale.
    I believe Oliver Stone is a great historian.
I believe I have been abducted by an alien (Spanish pronunciation of Elian).  
© 2000 
Inspired by:  .ABC News This Week-- Q&A-- Cokie Roberts & Janet Reno 04-09-00:.
COKIE ROBERTS Do you feel—I know you met with the father and were impressed—but do you feel that he’s really free? His parents have apparently been put in some compound where they are being watched by the government. His every movement over the last three months has been watched by the government. Is he really free to say what he believes?
JANET RENO I talked with him and he wasn’t being watched by his government. He said that he understood that people felt that he should stay here and he said I want the exact opposite.
2000-04-09 Daily Update-
01 © 2000
The New Operation Petticoat:  An article in the Sunday Times of London on 04-09-00 about Pentagon committees planning to propose assigning women to submarine duty inspired the following limerick:.
    Since submarine service began, 
    we deemed it a job for a man.
    It's now said by some, 
    one needn't be hung, 
    to be a good submarine hand.
    Some say it's just a canard 
    to say gals on subs make it hard ...
    Until face-to-face 
    in narrow hall-space, 
    they have to pass bod-facing-bod.

    The code-name for such an on-boat 
    operation was called "Petticoat."
    That was a movie 
    that made it seem groovey 
    for women to be on such boats.
    Traditional guys ain't convinced 
    that gals on a sub is good sense,
    but PC promoters 
    now say to opposers 
    that women must help with defense.

    To get to the real nitty-gritty, 
    as said by the top-brass committees:
    Whenever you
    the order, "Go
    don't say it to sailors with ti _ _ies 
© 2000

2000-04-08 Daily Update-
01 © 2000
Still waiting for Juan Gonzales to wake-up.

2000-04-07 Daily Update-
01 © 2000
Waiting for Juan Gonzales to wake-up.

2000-04-06 Daily Update-
02 © 2000 (a limerick)
A rhyming wish for Elian and his dad, stepmother and half-brother:
    The folks who are rooting for Elian 
    are hoping his Dad seeks asylum.
    His Daddy is here 
    but seems full of fear, 
    which we hope he'll soon overcome 
© 2000

2000-04-06 Daily Update-
01 © 2000 (a limerick)
Instructions for completing the long census form:
    For people who need some assistance 
    completing the long form for census,
    put aside
    and simply click here  
    for help that will give you contentment 
© 2000

2000-04-05 Daily Update-
01 © 2000
ABC News-- Pioneers in Journalistic Expertise. (a limerick)
new name for ABC News: 
dvance Big Celebrities' Views
    There was a time 
    when just news was fine, 
    but now it's just show-business views.
    In news there is too much reliance 
    on claims by politicized science.
    The news folks should know 
    that stars just don't know 
    good science from PC compliance.

    DiCaprio's sure to purvey 
    the pantheists' view of Earth Day ...
    contending that Man 
    belongs to the land 
    instead of the opposite way. 
© 2000 
(Quoted by Brit Hume on Fox News Channel Special Report on 04-06-00 with permission)

2000-04-04 Daily Update-
01 © 2000
Waiting for Gonzales. (a limerick)
    Last year on Thanksgiving Day, 
    the father of Elian did say
    without any fear 
    to relatives here,  
    take care of young Elian, okay?
    But then Cuba's tyrant demanded 
    that back to him Elian be handed.
    The relatives here, 
    who sensed the dad's fear, 
    rejected what Castro demanded.

    So now we are waiting to see 
    if Elian's dad can be free
    to say what is best 
    without fear of threats 
    from Castro's self-serving decrees. 
© 2000

2000-04-03 Daily Update-
01 © 2000
The Ballad of Bill Gates  
(Some things bear repeating, so here's our Update from 11-05-99):

Remember how short was our reach 
    back when computers were only for geeks?
    Although they seemed to be smart 
    to use them was hard 
    except for computer-like freaks.
    A drop-out from college 
    who had lots of knowlege --
    determined and quite resolute--
    created a way 
    to make it like play 
    for everyone else to compute.

    He made a computer-like house 
    to hold an electronic mouse.
    To help all us bimbos 
    he created Windows 
    for us to see into that house.
    This made it quite easy 
    for those who'd felt queasy 
    when trying to use a computer.
    It made us quite eager 
    to work like a beaver 
    'cause all of our fears had been neutered.

    During that time IBM 
    found itself forced to defend.
    A government charge 
    that it was so large 
    competitors couldn't get in.
    During that case 
    the competitive race 
    soon proved that the gov'ment was wrong.
    Competitors flourished, 
    computers were nourished 
    and soon could be bought for a song.

    Meanwhile the dropout named Gates
    continued to lower his rates.
    His business exploded 
    while others imploded 
    and tried to blame him for their fate.
    And like IBM 
    he was forced defend 
    the charge that he'd gotten too big.
    The competitive race 
    increases it pace 
    while he's in the anti-trust brig.

    So what is the moral 
    of this software quarrel?
    It's great to be good 
    but if you're too good 
    you'll face the wrong end of a barrel.
    The free-market works 
    'til government jerks 
    decide they can make it work better.
    Tha'ts when we see 
    the farce it can be 
    when government's like the Mad Hatter 

© 2000

2000-04-02 Daily Update-
01 © 2000 
Hillary's insightful limerick as a forward to her new book:
It Takes a Commune (dedicated to Elian Gonzales):
    Before I acquired my hauteur, 
    I foolishly felt quite assured  ...
    that fam'lies were best -- 
    not government quests -- 
    to raise kids until they mature.
    But then, with my Ivey-League Peers, 
    I learned that such values were "weird."
    We found-out quite early 
    that folks over thirty 
    deserved nothing else but our jeers.

    They thought that we should feel blessed 
    that we had been born in the West.
    Of course they were bores 
    who knew not the score 
    and we were the brightest and best.
    We told them that pigs were their visage 
    and that they had plundered and pillaged.
    That's when I learned 
    they couldn't discern 
    that kids should be raised by a village.

    When health-care had ruined my visage, 
    I co-authored "It Takes a Village"
    The village knows best-- 
    not Father Knows Best, 
    who offered us nothing but lineage.
    But since Elian's Mom met her doom, 
    I've changed to a much better tune
    Fidel knows the way, 
    so now I must say 
    that surely "It Takes a Commune." 

© 2000

2000-04-01 Daily Update-
01 © 2000
Work in Progress.  (No Foolin')  Come back later... Never mind.

This Page contains Daily Updates for April, 2000.  To go to our current Daily Update Page, click here.  To go to our Daily Update Archives, click here..