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Nov. 17, 2004 #01: Political
Satire/Commentary where satire is always commentary but commentary isn't always satire™ (but
we're confident you'll know the difference) Search
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author, Jim Wrenn.
Bill
Clinton Library opens questions to answers in Clinton Liebrary Book; Hillary Clinton's Living
History & Bill's My Life-- Dueling Memoirs; Bill's most famous speech-- Audio track at Clinton
Liebrary.
The formal opening of the Clinton Library, which Bill Clinton named "The Clinton Presidential
Center" to avoid confusion with the Clinton
Liebrary,
revives fond memories of the Clinton Era
Error. Security will be strict. Secret-service agents will use highly controversial
"profiling" techniques requiring special treatment of visitors identified by such
"profiling" criteria, which involve age
discrimination, gender
discrimination
and political-protégé
discrimination. The
gala opening will feature a special-preview screening of the latest cult-movie hit, "The
Clinton Horror Picture Show."
The gift-shop in the Clinton Library will offer visitors discounted prices on Bill Clinton's
memoirs, My Life, and Hillary Clinton's Living History, but no discount will be
offered on joint excerpts in the Billary/Hillary
Dueling Memoirs chapter of the unauthorized Clinton
Liebrary Book (here
or here),
which is becoming popularly known as "My
Life With Living Hystery"
after being published by the official Librarian at the Clinton
Liebrary.
Although Hillary's memoirs, popularly known as Living
Hystery,
don't contain as much bawdy material as do Bill's, her memoirs do include a section in which she
pillories Dick Morris about an episode at a fundraising party, but after reading her book,
Morris
expressed strenuous disagreement with her version.
During Campaign 2004, anonymous sources in John Kerry's campaign complained about Bill Clinton
having delayed until June, 2004, the previously-scheduled deadline for publishing his memoirs, but
PoliSat.Com's highly reliable sources have learned what really caused the delay: Bill Clinton
had suffered from a common malady among writers known as "writer's
block" (here).
Through confidential, surreptitious means, PoliSat.Com has obtained an audio
recording of Clinton's own voice explaining his writer's block (here)
as well as a video version of the same
explanation (here).
In an attempt to discredit PoliSat.Com's confidential sources, Clinton issued a formal explanation
about his memoirs:
Says
Bill "My Life" Hist'ry is Living With Hyst'ry.
I'm
Bubba, whose book ends the mystery
of how I've entitled my history:
My book that's entitled
My Life is sub-titled
My Life I Spent Living with Hystery.
My
book on my terms and elections
assures my complete resurrection
as history buff
on hystery buffs
whose monument merits erection.
Most important for the Clinton legacy is the audio
recording of Clinton's most famous speech (mp3-here
or wav-here).
PoliSat.Com has also obtained a video
version of the same speech (here).
Coincidentally, publicity surrounding Bob Woodward's recent claim (in promoting his book, Plan of
Attack) that George W. Bush had a close relationship with Saudi Prince Bandar has refocused
attention on a May 15, 2002, report
(here) indicating that
Clinton was far more simpatico with Saudi Crown Prince Abdullah than is Bush with any of the Saudi
leaders. That report (which was also featured in the final-minute segment of Brit Hume's
Special Report on May 15, 2002) arose from the fact that during Crown Prince Abdullah's May, 2002,
visit with Bush in Texas, he actually spent more time in an "all-night bull session" with
Bill Clinton, who happened to be staying in the same hotel in Texas at the same time to give a
fund-raising speech, than he spent with George Bush.
Reports indicate that former presidents Jimmy Carter (with Michael Moore as his honored guest),
George Herbert Walker Bush, and George W. Bush are expected to participate in the opening of the
Clinton Library. Reliable sources indicate Monica Lewinsky will not be seen at the
event. Rumors are that she's working near the beltway.
--Jim
Wrenn, Editor at PoliSat.Com and shameless promoter of his definitive
book on the Clinton Era
Error.
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Nov. 16, 2004 #01: Political
Satire/Commentary where satire is always commentary but commentary isn't always satire™ (but
we're confident you'll know the difference) Search
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author, Jim Wrenn.
Condoleeza
Rice, whom George Bush nominated to succeed Colin Powell as Secretary of State, would be deemed
unqualified for such position by a President John Kerry.
Condoleeza Rice lacks the qualifications that a President John Kerry would desire for a Secretary of
State: An ability to simultaneously occupy opposite sides of all issues until hindsight
reveals which position was least subject to criticism. She has the vision to see long-term
benefits through the lens of short-term challenges. It's often said that fear of failure is
the greatest enemy of success, but fear of blame for failure is an even greater enemy. This
latter fear is one of Kerry's greatest flaws. His fear of criticism in hindsight constricts
his vision of the future. In his mind, the theoretically perfect solution is almost always the
enemy of the sensibly good solution.
Today, Kerry said he plans to return to the Senate and "continue fighting" for the
"same issues" for which he has spent a career fighting. What are those issues?
One senses that if Kerry were forced to make an instantaneous decision on most vital issues, he
would more often than not make the right decision, but if he were afforded time to contemplate all
the pros and cons, he would more often than not make the wrong decision or suffer the intellectual
paralysis of being unable to make any decision at all, the latter of which is often the most
disastrous type of "decision." When circumstances denied him the opportunity for
nuanced contemplation, he braved enemy fire to save a comrade, but when circumstances afforded him
the luxury of opportunistic reflection, he made statements supporting enemy propaganda by his
broad-scale defamation of his comrades.
Rice, unlike Kerry, was no stranger to adversity during her formative years. She was able to
envision a future of liberty despite being forced to view it through a lens of harsh
oppression. She understands what Kerry, Kofi Annan and Jacques Chirac do not: That
liberty is the foundation of stability rather than vice-versa.
Rice: A Stable Staple.
Says Dubya, "I'll bring to the table
a leader both willing and able
the wold to entice--
That leader is Rice,
whose staple is vision that's stable."
Her life is a powerful sign
that liberty can't be consigned
to privileged few--
A value she knew
when freedom to her was denied.
Today, much is being said about the need for "stability" in Iraq in order for liberty to
take hold. The opposite is true. Terrorist intimidation can produce stability but not
liberty. Just as a neighborhood infected with a mob "protection" racket must be
willing to endure and support application of force (i.e., law enforcement) to eradicate it in order
to become free of it, a country infected with tyrannical forces must be willing to endure and
support application of force to eradicate them in order to achieve stabilization of liberty rather
than tyranny.
Application of a long-term, hindsight evaluation of Rice's philosophy in contrast to Kerry's is
revealing. Rice favored Reagan's theory that an aggressive buildup of our military strength
was the key to ultimately producing a mutual build-down of nuclear weapons by the Soviet Union and
the United States; Kerry adopted the opposite view. Rice understood that removing Saddam
Hussein from Kuwait was essential to preventing Hussein from acquiring virtual control of all
Mid-East oil revenue in order to build a gold-plated, nuclear-armed totalitarian state that would
have decidedly tilted the balance of history against the forces of liberty; Kerry adopted the
opposite view. Rice understood (as did Rumsfeld, Cheney and Bush) that 9-11 made it obvious we
no longer enjoyed the luxury of gambling that we would know enough about Saddam Hussein's
capabilities and intentions far enough in advance to prevent them and that, therefore, we'd better
act "sooner" than "later." Despite initially appearing to embrace
such view, in hindsight Kerry adopted the opposite view.
--Jim
Wrenn, Editor at PoliSat.Com
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Nov. 15, 2004 #01: Political
Satire/Commentary where satire is always commentary but commentary isn't always satire™ (but
we're confident you'll know the difference) Search
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author, Jim Wrenn.
Colin
Powell announces intention to resign; George Bush announces intention to appoint Condoleeza Rice as
Secretary of State; Democrats continue galloping toward the Left Coast.
Today Colin Powell announced his intention to resign as Secretary of State but agrees to continue
serving until confirmation of a replacement. George W. Bush announces his intention to
nominate Condoleeza Rice to become Secretary of State. Donald Rumsfeld remains silent about
his intentions.
While the Republicans are shuffling the deck, the Democrats continue galloping toward the Left
Coast. It's a new sport called "Running
of the Donkeys." Nancy Pelosi has begun quoting scriptures while denying
rumors that she's learning to speak in tongues. The Hollywood Left is using anger therapy to
attempt to recover from severe depression. John Kerry insists he'll run again in 2008.
Hillary suggests that he should run away. Al Gore is styling himself as an investment guru
selling "Lock Boxes" for people to use to responsibly hold on to their cash. Gore
stresses that his "Lock-Box" system is superior to the much-revered under-the-mattress
investment strategy. This is Gore's umpteenth re-invention of himself. Before beginning
his Elmer Gantry impersonation during
Campaign 2004, he had agreed to become the spokesman for a "waterless urinal"
aptly named the "Portable Gorinal"
(here). Perhaps his
greatest achievements were the GoreMobile
and his Landlord/Tenant Plumbing
Services.
Porter Goss is scaring the daylights out of some at the CIA. John McCain says Goss is on the
right track. John Ashcroft, who previously announced his intention to resign, is continuing
his efforts to re-design the gown on the Spirit of Justice statue. Rod Paige announces his
intention to resign as Secretary of Education.
Meanwhile, the world breathlessly awaits the opening of the Clinton Library, which Bill Clinton
named the Clinton Presidential Center to avoid confusion with the Clinton
Liebrary. Will
Hillary attend?
--Jim
Wrenn, Editor at PoliSat.Com.
Nov. 14, 2004 #01: Political
Satire/Commentary where satire is always commentary but commentary isn't always satire™ (but
we're confident you'll know the difference) Search
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author, Jim Wrenn.
No
Update for Sunday, November 14.
Editor off today.
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Nov. 13, 2004 #01: Political
Satire/Commentary where satire is always commentary but commentary isn't always satire™ (but
we're confident you'll know the difference) Search
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author, Jim Wrenn.
John
Ashcroft's retirement party features special appearance by the Spirit of Justice experiencing Wardrobe
Malfunction Part Deux; Tara Reid experiences "Wardrobe-Malfunction Envy."
PoliSat.Com's highly unreliable sources in the Justice Department have leaked details about John
Ashcroft's retirement party. Justice Department employees gave him the surprise part in the
Hall of Justice to unveil the remodeled "Spirit of Justice" statue to make it
"G-rated" for prime-time press conferences.
Even though most people think Ashcroft doesn't have a single friend in the entertainment industry
(apart from Don Imus and his morning-show cast), but PoliSat.Com's Washington Bureau Drawer Chief
has learned that a high-profile celebrity made a special appearance in his honor. No,
wasn't Cher-- She's not even a celebrity anymore since being unable to draw more than a dozen
derelicts to her last "gala"-- a get-out-the-vote concert for John Kerry.
Furthermore, when Kerry's
daughter, Alexandra, attended the "Cannes Film Festival" that honored Michael Moore, her
see-through dress propelled her far ahead of Cher in the tacky-wardrobe
category.
PoliSat.Com's high-tech, electronic, remote-sensing equipment has intercepted a copy of the
video-tape of part of Ashcroft's retirement party. To view it, click the image to the right of
the text below, which is a transcript of the tape:
Wardrobe
Malfunction, Part Deux.
I'm John, who's perceived as a prude
for hiding Miss Justice from view
with curtains behind
this lecturn designed
to speak to reporters of news.
Before I complete my adieu,
I'll flash-back to 2002
allowing Miss Justice
to say why her bust is
by curtains protected from view:
My name is the "Spirit of Justice."
Though John says my firm, naked bust is
the cause of a row, he seems not to know
it shows you what justice robust-is.
.
Exposing my breast, John, m'-boy
is not just a sculpturing ploy.
For justice, like breasts, exposure is best
to show what's a real real-McCoy.
.
I know you think curtains are best,
but status-quo-ante is best.
Remove the new curtains so folks can feel certain
that Ashcroft is keeping a-breast.
To counter the claim I'm a prude, babe,
as well as the claim I'm a rude knave,
I mocked my own thinking
by joining you singing
the parody song, "I Hide You, Babe."º¹
Before I concealed her from view,
photographers always would choose
to photograph me
so viewers would see
on top of my head her bare boob.
Thus, prudishness wasn't my motive
in hiding her incomplete bodice--
Instead, I was hoping
for dignity posing
for pictures when questioned and quoted.
But now, though I'm soon to retire,
I've furnished Miss Justice attire
concealing her boob
for G-rated vews--
No longer are curtains required.
But now, just before I retire,
I've furnished Miss Justcie attire
concealing her boob
for G-rated views--
No longer are curtains required.
I'm "Spirit of Justice" whom John
concealed behind curtains too long
until he could find
a bodice designed
to hide what attracts the beau monde.
Since John has concealed my bare boob,
and since my own hands I can't move,
then like Tara Reid,
for baring I need
a "Wardrobe Malfunction, Part Deux."
Will Alberto Gonzales remove the curtains Ashcroft installed? What about the male statue
standing beside the female "Spirit of Justice" statue? Did Janet Reno take it with
her?
--Jim
Wrenn, Editor at PoliSat.Com
º¹.
To Hear and see "Johnny & Sher" sing "I
Hide You, Babe" go here; For the installment of Political Satire/Commentary
explaining the news report that inspired the song-parody, go to the January 29, 2002 installment
at http://polisat.com/du2002/du020131.htm#20020129-01.
Nov. 12, 2004 #01: Political
Satire/Commentary where satire is always commentary but commentary isn't always satire™ (but
we're confident you'll know the difference) Search
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author, Jim Wrenn.
No
Update for Friday, Nov. 12, 2004."
No update for Friday, November 12, 2004-- Editor's time consumed by futile effort to evade Murphy's
Law.
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Nov. 11, 2004 #01: Political
Satire/Commentary where satire is always commentary but commentary isn't always satire™ (but
we're confident you'll know the difference) Search
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author, Jim Wrenn.
Yasser
Arafat-- France and Jacques Chirac honor Arafat, the terrorist, but disdain Coalition troops
battling terrorism in Iraq; Americans say to troops, "Thanks in Our Name for Deeds in Our
Name."
Jacques Chirac, France, Kofi Annan and their ilk denigrate the memories of the thousands of victims
of Yasser Arafat's terrorist tactics by according Arafat the status of "statesman" in
providing ceremonial pomp for the departure of his body from France. This stands in contrast
to Chirac's and France's continuing, long-standing denigration of the mission of Coalition troops
heroically battling terrorism in Iraq.
Today being Veteran's Day warrants repeat of a special commentary by
PoliSat.Com.
In contrast to France, Chirac, Annan, et al, all Americans reiterate to our troops the
following sentiments:
To
Citizen Soldiers a Song to Explain
How Proudly We Thank You for Deeds in Our Names.
From
farms in the country, from cities and towns,
from places quite humble, from places renowned,
from fact'ries, from stores and from offices tall,
from service professions, from stores in our malls,
come citizen soldiers their country to serve
as full time professionals or guard or reserve.
From mothers and fathers and husbands and wives,
from children and lovers and friends in their lives,
our citizen soldiers depart despite tears
on missions of danger in spite of their fears
as selflessly, proudly, and bravely they serve
that freedom of conscience and Faith be preserved.
In
caves and in tunnels where murderers train
unspeakable terror they face in our name.
With principled discipline, training and skill
in taming the instinct to kill or be killed
our citizen soldiers have honored our name,
so, proudly we thank them for deeds in our name.
They serve in the skies, and at sea and on land,
in mountains and jungles and deserts of sand,
on foot and in foxholes, in trenches and tents,
in tanks and on submarine mission descents,
in planes and on ships and on carrier decks,
in Humvees, and hangars and convoys on treks.
For risks to themselves in their battles with terrors
increased by attempts to use force without error,
for risks to themselves they increase by providing
assistance to those who for freedom are striving,
our citizen soldiers have honored our name,
so thank them we must for their deeds in our name.
So we and posterity freedom retain
barbaric regimes you confront in our name.
To you who defend us, we proudly proclaim
our pride in the deeds you have done in our name.
We thank you, we thank you for deeds in our name,
We thank you, we thank you for deeds in our name.·
--Jim
Wrenn, Editor at PoliSat.Com.
···
Copyright, November, 2003, by James R. Wrenn, Jr., Editor at PoliSat.Com. Note to visitors:
I'm in the process of arranging for recording and production of this song, which I authored to honor
those who serve us in the military. --Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com.·
Daily
Update immediately preceding the one above: go here or find it in the chronological Index
of Archives here.
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