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Political Satire Daily Update.

Updates start below in reverse chronological order--i.e., most-recent first, etc..
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April 30, 2002 PoliSat.Com's Political-Satire Daily Update #20020430-01.™©.2002-Jim.Wrenn--Editor@PoliSat.Com.
Rememb'ring "Here's Johnny," the country "hears" Johnny..

    The country loves Carson, rememb'ring "Here's Johnny,"
    "espeshly" when Carson was "Karnack, the Swami,"
    but now that he's speaking
    with humorless tweaking,
    a sadness abounds when the country hears Johnny.

    It's not from his claim there was Enron triaging--
    It's lectures from him that we're too "patriotic"
    in showing our fervor
    for warfare on terror,
    which show that his views, like his eyes, are myopic.
    
    He misunderstands that our zeal and our fervor
    in favoring maximum warfare on terror
    is not for our nation
    but civilization
    at war with medieval fanatical fervor .
.
Direct link for this 04-30-02, Political-Satire Daily Update:   http://polisat.com/du2002/du020430.htm#20020430-01.™©.2002.
Inspired by a Drudge report that Johnny Carson recently castigated the media and the country for exhibiting too much "patriotic" fervor.  (He also made some outlandish allegations about Enron, but who hasn't these days?)..
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April 29, 2002 PoliSat.Com's Political-Satire Daily Update #20020429-01.™©.2002-Jim.Wrenn--Editor@PoliSat.Com.
The ads by the Saudis profess to teach us Abdullah Knows Best..

    We all should be thankful and glad
    the Saudis are broadcasting ads
    to make us enlightened
    to not be so frightened
    by Saudi Arabian fads.

    Their ads make us feel so much calmer
    in learning the reasons they honor
    their unselfish brethren
    who guide folks to heaven
    by serving as homicide bombers.

    We learn they have made it their mission
    to teach us their love of religion
    is why they're compelled
    to bomb infidels
    --"espeshly" the Jews and the Christians.

    However, their ads also tout
    that bombing ain't all they're "about"
    and proudly reveal
    their ways to "repeal"
    temptations to not be devout.

    Traditions, they say, are a must
    for men to be moral and just,
    so women must hide
    their shape from men's eyes
    so men won't go crazy with lust .
.
Direct link for this 04-29-02, Political-Satire Daily Update:   http://polisat.com/du2002/du020430.htm#20020429-01.™©.2002.
Inspired by those wonderfully "reassuring" ads the Saudi government recently began broadcasting to American audiences.
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April 28, 2002 PoliSat.Com's Political-Satire Daily Update #20020428-01.™©.2002-Jim.Wrenn--Editor@PoliSat.Com.
It seems Chris has taken the wrong medication..

    It's rare I extend an ovation
    to Patrick Buchannan's orations,
    but now I concede
    he rightly perceived
    that Matthews was taking the wrong medication .

    As Chris, the machine-gun and Patrick, the cannon,
    are firing away at the globalists' canons,
    it's clear Chris has taken
    the wrong medication:  
    prescriptions he's borrowed from Patrick Buchannan.
.
Direct link for this 04-28-02, Political-Satire Daily Update:   http://polisat.com/du2002/du020430.htm#20020428-01.™©.2002.
Inspired by my observation of, and surprise by, the new political odd-couple--Chris Matthews and Patrick Buchannan-- in their current hyperventilations against "NeoCons" favoring whatever actions may be necessary to remove Saddam Hussein from power.  Observers of Matthews and Buchannan will recall that during one of Buchannan's "campaigns" for a presidential nomination, Matthews made a disparaging remark about Buchannan, in response to which Buchannan asked, "Is Chris off his medication again?"   It now seems that Chris is taking Buchannan's medication..
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April 27, 2002 PoliSat.Com's Political-Satire Daily Update #20020427-01.™©.2002-Jim.Wrenn--Editor@PoliSat.Com.
So-what if Abdullah's distressed by traffic-controllers with breasts?.

    The Saudi Crown Prince has professed
    his pilots and he would be stressed
    by hearing commands
    for clearance to land
    from traffic-controllers with breasts.

    We ought to have said to Abdullah
    forget what you're told by the mullahs
    'cause men who are bolder
    ain't cowed by controllers
    whose cups are not empty but fuller.

    We then should have said to the Prince: 
    "Your pilot can't start his descent
    unless he will say: 
    'I'd love to obey
    controllers whose cups are immense.'"                  .
.
Direct link for this 04-27-02, Political-Satire Daily Update:   http://polisat.com/du2002/du020430.htm#20020427-01.™©.2002.
Inspired by a news report¹ alleging that the Bush Administration shamefully complied with a request by Saudi Crown Prince Abdullah that no female air controller be permitted to communicate with his pilot during trip to America to visit Bush at his ranch in Crawford, Texas.  Say it ain't so, Dubya..
¹.  .http://www.dallasnews.com/latestnews/stories/042702dnnatsaudis.93e5d.html..
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April 26, 2002 PoliSat.Com's Political-Satire Daily Update #20020426-01.™©.2002-Jim.Wrenn--Editor@PoliSat.Com.
The media love the theology of Priests of the Doomsday Ecology..

    The media treated as "news"
    a press-release spouting the views
    of one of the priests
    of Greenhouse beliefs:  
    "Kyoto [must not be eschewed]."

    They claim that in Two-Thousand-Two
    a first-quarter warming accrued
    with weather more icky
    than since Eighteen-Sixty
    and even "perhaps" since a Thousand and Two.

    Their claims might be "science" indeed
    if artifact-proof they retrieved
    to show warming then
    was made to begin
    by thousand-year-old S-U-V's.
.
Direct link for this 04-26-02, Political-Satire Daily Update:   http://polisat.com/du2002/du020430.htm#20020426-01.™©.2002.
Inspired by an April 26, 2002, "report"¹ in The Telegraph, which uncritically recites bald assertions by a proponent of the theory that human activity is "warming" the planet notwithstanding the absence of scientific evidence to prove such claim and notwithstanding ample scientific evidence to the contrary.   Here's the 04-26-02 Headline in The Telegraph (UK):  2002 'warmest for 1,000 years' By Charles Clover, Environment Editor (Filed: 26/04/2002)   Here's the lead sentence:  THE first three months of this year were the warmest globally since records began in 1860 and probably for 1,000 years, scientists said yesterday.  Here's the closing sentence:  "Mrs. Beckett said some of the predicted impacts were already irreversible, but others could be slowed by international action under the Kyoto climate treaty." Notwithstanding such pronouncement by Mrs. Becket, critical analysis of the "global warming" theory makes it reasonably apparent that rather than being a scientifically objective theory, it is more the product of political agendas of political organs promoting such theory and advocating such things as the "Kyoto Accords" as proper solutions.  For an analysis of the science alleged by those with political agendas as "proving" that a long-term global-warming is in progress and that human activity is causing, or substantially contributing to, it see  Global Warming or Scientific Flatulence, at http://wrenncom.com/focus2001/0619-01.asp.  For other examples of the scientifically naive media uncritically reporting as "science" the blind-faith beliefs of the Priests of Global Warming, see http://polisat.com/rhymes/r_pantheopians.htm..
¹.  .http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2002/04/26/nhot26.xml&sSheet=/news/2002/04/26/ixhome.html..
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April 25, 2002 PoliSat.Com's Political-Satire Daily Update #20020425-01.™©.2002-Jim.Wrenn--Editor@PoliSat.Com.
A-B-C has informed Peter Jennings ... his wallet they soon will be thinning..

    A-B-C used its dealings with Koppel
    in merely delaying his topple
    so news-casting "stars"
    perceive their gold bars
    as weights that may cause them to topple.

    And now they have told Peter Jennings
    his wallet they need to be be thinning,
    but will Mr. Jennings
    perceive he's beginning
    the ninth, not the third or fourth, inning?
.
Direct link for this 04-25-02, Political-Satire Daily Update:   http://polisat.com/du2002/du020430.htm#20020425-01.™©.2002.
Inspired by an April 23, 2002, report by Drudge that ABC plans to encourage and/or demand that Peter Jennings take a substantial pay-cut..
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April 24, 2002 PoliSat.Com's Political-Satire Daily Update #20020424-01.™©.2002-Jim.Wrenn--Editor@PoliSat.Com.
I'm asking my readers to help in a test...
by asking their friends "What's the biggest fraud yet?".

    I hereby ask readers to help in a test: 
    Ask each of your friends, "What's the biggest fraud yet?"
    It's "Enron" they'll name
    and "business" they'll blame,
    and not by a one will the biggest be guessed.

    Employees at Enron are rightly upset
    that money withheld from their regular checks
    by Enron to serve
    as pension reserves
    have gone down the drain like a crap-table bet.

    Though Enron was bad, as a fraud it was tame
    compared to the government's pyramid game
    when government planned
    the grandest of scams
    disguising it's nature with high-sounding names.

    With glibness as smooth as a classic glissandi¹,
    a high-sounding name for mutatis mutandi²,
    and chutzpah to match,
    the program they hatched
    was based on designs they adapted from Ponzi³.    .

    Though Ponzis collapse like an elderly hiker
    the government scam's like a Hell's-Angels biker
    with forward momentum
    propelled by an engine,
    the scheme is propelled with enforcement⁴ by FICA*  *[the acronym pronounced "fyka"].

    Of course, if you doubt that I'm right,
    go here ⁵ and you'll soon see the light
    and also go here ⁶,
    and fin'lly go here ⁷,
    and then you will see that I'm right.
.
Direct link for this 04-24-02, Political-Satire Daily Update:   http://polisat.com/du2002/du020430.htm#20020424-01.™©.2002.
Inspired by Walter Williams' 04-15-02 column about the current perception of the Enron collapse as the biggest fraud ever.  See http://www.gmu.edu/departments/economics/wew/articles/02/crook.html..
¹. See .http://www.dictionary.com/search?q=glissandi&db=*.
². See .http://lysy2.archives.nd.edu/cgi-bin/words.exe?mutatis and .http://lysy2.archives.nd.edu/cgi-bin/words.exe?mutandi.
³. See .http://www.mark-knutson.com/thescheme.html.
⁴. Some claim Social Security is not like a Ponzi scheme because if it were, it would have collapsed long ago [For an example of such  "POOP", go to http://www.poop.org/soc.sec/rip/ponzi.htm], but those arguments ignore the fact that were it not for use of governmental powers forcing current workers to pay benefits to retirees far exceeding any rational "return" on "contributions" by such retirees, the program would have collapsed long ago.  Of course, proposals to prospectively "save" Social Security without reducing benefits "promised" to today's workers will require that such "promises" be radically reduced or the "contributions" from future workers radically increased (or both)..
⁵.  See Walter Williams' 04-15-02 column at .http://www.gmu.edu/departments/economics/wew/articles/02/crook.html.
⁶.  See .http://isil.org/resources/lit/time-to-end-ss.html.
⁷.  See .http://polisat.com/du2001/du010331.htm#20010327-01.
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April 23, 2002 PoliSat.Com's Political-Satire Daily Update #20020423-01.™©.2002-Jim.Wrenn--Editor@PoliSat.Com.
Why is it Chris Matthews has seized-upon
a new term for "hawk" as a "Neo-Con"?.

    We've noticed Chris Matthews has seized-upon
    a brand-new cliché he can spiel-upon--
    Embraced by the Left,
    the concept is deft: 
    The new term for "hawk" is a "Neo-Con."

    Why is this a term he now loves?
    'Cause Chris know when push comes to shove,
    that people who squawk
    at plans by the "hawks,"
    have always been labeled as "doves."
.
Direct link for this 04-23-02, Political-Satire Daily Update:   http://polisat.com/du2002/du020430.htm#20020423-01.™©.2002.
Inspired by my perception of the increasing shrillness in the way Chris Matthews caricatures the views of those (i.e., "Neo-Cons) who, recognizing the impossibility of knowing the precise time when Saddam Hussein will be in a position to use (or threaten to use) a mass-destruction weapon against our allies or against us, know it's better attack Hussein too soon rather than too late .
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April 22, 2002 PoliSat.Com's Political-Satire Daily Update #20020422-01.™©.2002-Jim.Wrenn--Editor@PoliSat.Com.
It's Earth Day today for Defenders of Faith...
in Greenhouse Believers, the Priests of Dismay..

    It's Earth Day today, so Defenders of Faith
    in Greenhouse Believers, the Priests of Dismay,
    will tout their reliance
    on junk-eco-science
    while Asteroid/Comets are headed our way.

    Although we don't claim to envision
    tomorrow's the day of collision,
    the risk is far greater
    that Earth will be cratered
    much sooner than harmed by the "greenhouse" emissions.

    But Priests of Dismay proclaim evidence
    we're threatened by warming and pestilence,
    but we know the source
    of hot air, of course
    is their intellectual flatulence.^{1                         1}[http://wrenncom.com/focus2001/0619-01.asp].
.
Direct link for this 04-22-02, Political-Satire Daily Update:   http://polisat.com/du2002/du020430.htm#20020422-01.™©.2002.
Inspired by today's predictable re-emergence of the Earth-Day Jihad by the Priests of Global Warming against Bush's stated intention to exceed their Holy of Holies, the Kyoto Accords.2  To get a flavor of how much the driving force of the Global Warming Fervor stems from pantheopian3 theories rather than scientific evidence, see "Global Warming or Scientific Flatulence?"4.  See also our February 14, 2002, update5 January 10, 2002, update6 about the folly of wasting billions in coerced compliance with the global-warming articles of faith while virtually ignoring a recent close-call7 with a genuinely deadly threat8 to civilization itself.  
   2[http://www.washtimes.com/national/20020214-3498038.htm]
    3[http://polisat.com/rhymes/r_pantheopians.htm#20000909-01]; [http://polisat.com/du2001/du010430.htm#20010423-01]
    4[http://wrenncom.com/focus2001/0619-01.asp]
    5[http://polisat.com/du2002/du020228.htm#20020214-01]
    6[http://polisat.com/du2002/du020131.htm#20020110-01]
    7[http://space.com/scienceastronomy/solarsystem/aussie_asteroid_020201-1.html]
    8[http://space.com/scienceastronomy/solarsystem/deflection_asteroids_020214.html].
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April 21, 2002 PoliSat.Com's Political-Satire Daily Update #20020421-01.™©.2002-Jim.Wrenn--Editor@PoliSat.Com.
Did Bush have to use a clarity ruse?.

    We heard from the Right lots of howls
    when Dubya dispatched Colin Pow'll
    for hearing Sharon
    and Arafat's drones
    as though Bush had thrown-in the towel.

    And Leftists were heard to bemoan
    that Bush wasn't forcing Sharon
    to limit offensives
    to words as defenses
    while bombers continue to roam.

    Perceiving Arabian ways
    as rarely to mean what they say,
    it seems Dubya used
    a clarity ruse
    in telling Sharon "no delay."

    Although I'm inclined to opine
    demanding that "now" is the time
    was wrong as a ruse,
    I'm forced to conclude
    't'was no other way to buy time.
.
Direct link for this 04-21-02 Political-Satire Daily Update:   http://polisat.com/du2002/du020430.htm#20020421-01.™©.2002.
Inspired by Dubya having demonstrated the skill of alienating both the Left and the Right in his approach to the Palestinian/Israeli conflict.
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April 20, 2002 PoliSat.Com's Political-Satire Daily Update #20020420-01.™©.2002-Jim.Wrenn--Editor@PoliSat.Com.
Proposals by Clinton and Carter to serve as our peace-talking starters..

    We hear that both Clinton and Carter,
    would like to be peace-talking starters.
    "A treaty I got
    from Begin/Sadat,
    so I should be sent," proclaimed Carter.

    A background supporter for Carter concedes
    that Clinton, perhaps, has the best expertise
    to bring to the table
    a skill that is fabled: 
    The skill to bring anyone down to their knees .
.
Direct link for this 04-20-02 Political-Satire Daily Update:   http://polisat.com/du2002/du020430.htm#20020420-01.™©.2002.
Inspired by news reports that both Clinton and Carter have expressed interest in becoming involved in Middle-East negotiations.
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April 19, 2002 PoliSat.Com's Political-Satire Daily Update #20020419-01.™©.2002-Jim.Wrenn--Editor@PoliSat.Com.
We don't need the Stone of Rosetta to know they'll obsess on "Barretta.".

    Though news-judgment ought to be better,
    we don't need the Stone of Rosetta
    to know that the "news"
    will floods us with views
    obsessed with the "news" of "Barretta."

    So what should a news-junkie do?
    I'll tell you what I plan to do: 
    Whenever they make
    reports about Blake,
    I'll click a new channel to view.
.
Direct link for this 04-19-02 Political-Satire Daily Update:   http://polisat.com/du2002/du020430.htm#20020419-01.™©.2002.
Inspired by the depressing realization that the "news" media are on the verge of obsessing on the murder charges against Robert Blake.  Except for criticizing such obsession, I intend to keep PoliSat.Com a "Baretta-free zone."..
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April 18, 2002 PoliSat.Com's Political-Satire Daily Update #20020418-01.™©.2002-Jim.Wrenn--Editor@PoliSat.Com.
Though absence of evidence ain't evidence of absence,
the absence of presence is presence of absence...

    Although we ain't captured Usama,
    this failure is merely a comma--
    What else can you make
    of out-of-date tapes
    to boost the morale of his bombers?
.
Direct link for this 04-18-02 Political-Satire Daily Update:   http://polisat.com/du2002/du020430.htm#20020418-01.™©.2002.
Inspired by my perception that Al Qaeda so much fears a perception among its followers that bin Laden is dead that Al Qaeda was willing to release demonstrably out-of-date tapes in an effort to convey either or both of two messages:  (a) that bin Laden is alive, well and continuing to "lead" or (b) that even if he were not to be alive, well and leading, there remains enough of Al Qaeda's "leadership" to continue their war against Western Civilization and modernity.  That's why I view the absence of proof of his absence as a comma rather than a period in our war against terror..
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April 17, 2002 PoliSat.Com's Political-Satire Daily Update #20020417-01.™©.2002-Jim.Wrenn--Editor@PoliSat.Com.
We're sending Al Qaeda a tape to show them Usama's real fate...

    Al Qaeda has published a tape¹ 
    pretending Usama's okay,
    but if he's alive
    he soon will arrive
    for check-in at Lucifer's Gate.

    We're sending a PoliSat tape² 
    to show the Al Qaeda his fate.
    To see what we mean,
    click here* for the scenes                                [*http://polisat.com/extinction101.html]
    revealing his route to the Gate.
.
Direct link for this 04-17-02 Political-Satire Daily Update:   http://polisat.com/du2002/du020430.htm#20020417-01.™©.2002.
Inspired by Al Qaeda's release of a "new" video tape of Osama/Usama bin Laden gloating over the 911 attack on the WTC.
1.  See:  http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/ap/20020417/ap_wo_en_ge/mideast_bin_laden_tape_15.
2.  Here's the ink to PoliSat.Com's "tape" to bin Laden:  http://polisat.com/extinction101.html.  Here's the link to a silent, GIF-animation version of the "tape":  http://polisat.com/extinction101gif.htm.
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April 16, 2002 PoliSat.Com's Political-Satire Daily Update #20020416-01.™©.2002-Jim.Wrenn--Editor@PoliSat.Com.
The ending is not yet beginning, but yet the beginning is ending*..
*This is a paraphrase of Churchill's famous statement after the Battle of Britain that although it was "not the beginning of the end," it was at least the "end of the beginning.".
.
    At present the future seems grim,
    but yet I go out on a limb
    because I'm convinced
    the facts now evince
    a future that's bright 'stead of dim.

    However, before I explain
    the reasons why terror will wane,
    I ridicule first
    the people who thirst
    to view U-S-A as a bane.

    The smug Europeans abhor
    our "letting" Israelis wage war.
    If Europe's so wise
    why is it our guys
    were sent to save them in two wars?

    So why should Israelis believe
    that Europe won't grant a reprieve
    to leaders who harbor
    fanatical ardor
    that Israel's end be achieved?
    
    We hear from the Left and the Right--
    infected by alternate frights--
    "We're not tough enough,"
    or else "We're too tough,"
    in how we "let" Israel fight.
    
    Said Arabs, "It's just a diversion,"
    for Bush to say "Stop the incursions"--
    So-what if it's true?
    He likewise construes
    their own claims of terror-aversion.
    
    Since Arafat failed to dismantle
    the agents of terror he handles,
    it's good the Israelis
    are killing or jailing
    the agents he failed to dismantle.

    When Israel's finished its best
    attempt to clean Arafat's nest,
    the margin of error
    for risking more terror
    is better, though far from the best.

    When sensible Arabs perceive
    the value of terror recede
    they'll force the submission
    by Arafat's minions
    to terms to evolve into peace .
.
Direct link for this 04-16-02 Political-Satire Daily Update:   http://polisat.com/du2002/du020430.htm#20020416-01.™©.2002.
Inspired by my perception that our strategy of merely urging (rather than coercing) the Israelis to end their incursions into Arafat's terrorist nests before completing the job is in reality being perceived by Arab leaders as a strategy to make the price of terror far higher than its perceived benefits so that when Arafat (or someone in his place) finally takes effective action to restrain terror, the recently stated willingness of some Arab states to recognize Israel will serve as a dynamic to support, rather than impede, our efforts to promote a process from which peace can evolve.
..
April 15, 2002 PoliSat.Com's Political-Satire Daily Update #20020415-01.™©.2002-Jim.Wrenn--Editor@PoliSat.Com.
To get I-R-S off our backs... not income but sales we should tax....

    The Fifteenth of April, today
    is time once again we should say
    to stop taxing income
    would serve the prevention
    of trade that's not balanced our way.

    Retaining our taxes on income
    increases the prices, and then-some,
    that foreigners pay
    for products we've made
    and lessens our trade-balance income.

    "And how," you might ask, "is this true?"
    The income-tax makes us include
    enough in the price
    so charges suffice
    for paying those I-R-S dudes.

    It simply is not rocket science
    to know that continued reliance
    on taxes on income
    curtails what comes in-from
    what's sold under tariff compliance.

    Stop deficit-trade in its tracks
    with sales, but not income, for tax,
    and give us the bonus
    of ending the onus
    of I-R-S hacks on our backs.
.
Direct link for this 04-15-02 Political-Satire Daily Update:   http://polisat.com/du2002/du020430.htm#20020415-01.™©.2002.
Inspired by today being income-tax-deadline day, which prompts me to recall the sensible proposal by Richard Lugar, the Indiana Senator who's also a Rhodes Scholar, during his 1996 campaign seeking the Republican nomination for President.  Lugar's comprehensive, thoughtful, common-sense proposal made it clear to anyone understanding economics and taxes that perpetuation of the income tax artificially inflates the prices we much charge for American products sold in foreign markets.  Furthermore, a sales tax (with suitable exemptions for food, health care, medicine and basic shelter) ought to also satisfy the desire of the Left for the most affluent to continue paying the vast majority of taxes now derived from the income tax.  Of course, the Left's primary objection would be that it would dramatically reduce politicians' ability to use the tax code to create, modify, and repeal various income-tax loopholes to extort contributions from supporters and punish supporters of opponents. 
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April 14, 2002 PoliSat.Com's Political-Satire Daily Update #20020414-01.™©.2002-Jim.Wrenn--Editor@PoliSat.Com.
Do rules against "dealing" with "evil" apply to a widespread upheaval?..

    The critics who claim the "Bush Doctrine"
    that no one should "deal" with bin Laden
    precludes us from dealing
    with Arafat's squealing
    compare diff'rent fruits that are rotten.

    Conceding that Israel's right
    in sending its soldiers to fight
    the terrorists quests
    in Arafat's nest
    does not mean that "talk" isn't "right."

    Suppose hatred were to infect
    the people who live in Quebec
    to make them resort
    to terror support
    in provinces next to Quebec.

    If Canada then would elicit
    a sign Quebec's leader's complicit
    in running a fort
    for terror support
    we know they'd send solders to nix-it.

    If Canada finds Quebec's people
    supporting a leader who's evil
    refusing to heed
    a civilized lead,
    then how would it "deal" with the evil?

    If facts were to show that such people
    would listen to him who is evil,
    and if he would say
    "End terror today,"
    they'd "deal" with the leader who's evil.

    And likewise, if Arafat heeds
    advice against terrorist deeds
    and Arafat's people
    stop murdering people
    a "deal" could give rise to a peace.

    However, if Arafat fails
    to terminate terror travails
    he leaves us no choice
    but muting our voice
    when Israel fights to prevail.
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Direct link for this 04-14-02 Political-Satire Daily Update:   http://polisat.com/du2002/du020430.htm#20020414-01.™©.2002.
I do not perceive an inherent contradiction between the Bush Doctrine against "dealing" with terrorists and Bush's attempt to "deal" with Arafat despite rather overwhelming evidence that Arafat supports, rather than merely tolerates, terrorism.  Why?  If the unfortunate facts are that his voice is the only voice to which any significant number of Palestinians will listen, and if he can be "persuaded" (i.e., coerced by pressure, threats, intimidation, etc. from the U.S. and, hopefully, non-public coercion from some Arab-country leaders) to both publicly condemn, and actually abandon, terror as a tactic against Israel, then it would make sense to "deal" with him in the hope of creating a sufficient chance for peace that someday in the future the Palestinian people will replace his corrupt, barbaric leadership with someone capable of exhibiting genuine statesmanship.
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April 13, 2002 PoliSat.Com's Political-Satire Daily Update #20020413-01.™©.2002-Jim.Wrenn--Editor@PoliSat.Com.
Fool me once, shame on you, fool me dozens of times, shame on me...

    A statement was issued today
    from Arafat's group, P-L-A 
    purporting to say
    that bombs ain't the way,
    but this is the tune in December* they played.        [*http://polisat.com/du2001/du011231.htm#20011216-01]
.
Direct link for this 04-13-02 Political-Satire Daily Update:   http://polisat.com/du2002/du020430.htm#20020413-01.™©.2002.
Inspired by a news report¹ that today the PLA issued a written statement condemning the 04-12-02 suicide-bombing of civilians in Israel a few minutes after Powell's meeting with Sharon.
¹.  See   .http://www.cnn.com/2002/WORLD/meast/04/13/palestinian.statement/index.html.
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April 12, 2002 PoliSat.Com's Political-Satire Daily Update #20020412-01.™©.2002-Jim.Wrenn--Editor@PoliSat.Com.
The Democrat "Cindy" McKinney removes any doubt she's a ninny...

    The Democrat "Cindy" McKinney
    exhibits again her propensity
    to open her mouth
    removing all doubt
    she's worse than a dolt or a ninny.
.
Direct link for this 04-12-02 Political-Satire Daily Update:   http://polisat.com/du2002/du020430.htm#20020412-01.™©.2002.
Inspired by a news report¹ that Rep. Cynthia McKinney (D. Ga) implied that Bush 43 had advance warning of the 911 attack and deliberately did nothing to enable his father and other associates to profit from increases in military spending on the war against terror.  In America, all sensible people will ridicule her stupidity and/or maliciousness, but what would happen to any Palestinian in the West Bank who would dare to truthfully accuse Arafat of sponsoring, let alone tolerating, terrorism?  What would happen to any Saudi in Saudi Arabia truthfully accusing the Saudi Government of supporting fanatical terrorist Muslims and families of the murder-bombers?  In America, we punish by ridicule alone such overtly stupid and overtly malicious accusations against our leaders.  Although an Israeli fanatic murdered Rabin and an American fanatic bombed the Federal Building in Oklahoma City, in both America and Israel the fierce political opposition is often elected to replace an existing party in power.  When has that ever happened in any Arab country?.
¹.  See   .http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A34565-2002Apr11.html.
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April 11, 2002 PoliSat.Com's Political-Satire Daily Update #20020411-01.™©.2002-Jim.Wrenn--Editor@PoliSat.Com.
The moral vestigiality of anti-Western intellectuality...

    Again self-proclaimed "intellectuals"
    show why they are most ineffectual:  
    To claim war on terror
    is our moral error
    shows their moral judgment is vestigial.
.
Direct link for this 04-11-02 Political-Satire Daily Update:   http://polisat.com/du2002/du020430.htm#20020411-01.™©.2002.
Inspired by a news report¹ that a group of self-proclaimed "intellectuals" in the United States contend the war against terror is "not" a "just" war.
¹.  See   .http://sg.news.yahoo.com/020409/1/2np5y.html.
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April 10, 2002 PoliSat.Com's Political-Satire Daily Update #20020410-01.™©.2002-Jim.Wrenn--Editor@PoliSat.Com.
Last-night Letterman ought-to have played... the parody-song, "I hide you, babe.".
Editor's Note:  The image below is part of the image of a Flash-animation/ song-parody inspired by Cher's castigation of Ashcroft for installing curtains to hid the partly-naked Spirit of Justice statue at the Department of Justice.

    Last night on the Late Show with Dave
    for Ashcroft he ought to have played
    the boss-man at Justice
    and Spirit of Justice
    together to sing "I hide you, babe."
Direct link for this 04-10-02 Political-Satire Daily Update:   http://polisat.com/du2002/du020430.htm#20020410-01.™©.2002.
Inspired by Aschroft's appearance on the Late Show with David Letterman last night and Letterman's lame use of a picture with  his head superimposed on the partly-naked Spirit of Justice statue at the Department of Justice to tease Aschroft for covering  the statue curtains. What Letterman should have done is to have played PoliSat.Com's Flash-animation/song-parody inspired by Cher chastising Ashcroft for hiding the statue with curtains.  What Letterman should have done is to have played PoliSat.Com's Flash-animation/song-parody inspired by Cher chastising Ashcroft for hiding the statue with curtains.  To view the Flash-Animation/Song-Parody ("Johnny & Sher" singing "I hide you, babe,") click here:  http://polisat.com/ashcroft/ihideyoubabe.html.  We're in the process of making this animation/song-parody available on CD and an audio-only version available on cassette.  If you are interested in purchasing either, click the following link to send an email request to be put on the waiting list:  mailto:editor@PoliSat.Com?Subject=SendInfoOnIGotYouBabe..
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April 9, 2002 PoliSat.Com's Political-Satire Daily Update #20020409-01.™©.2002-Jim.Wrenn--Editor@PoliSat.Com.
Ted Koppel sings "Nightline" to the tune of Sinatra's "My Way.".
Editor's Note:  This song-parody will soon be released as part of a Flash-animation/song-parody of Koppel singing "Nightline" to the tune of Sinatra's "My Way."  Stay tuned for details.

    And now, to NightLine's friends
    I'm glad to say, "It won't be curtains"
    My friend, his name is Dave,
    has saved my show, of that I'm certain

    I've shot a lot of bull
    since Kho-mei-nee claimed he was Yahweh
    They dare not tell Kop-pull
    to hit the highway
    
    Faux pas, I've made a few 
    But then again, no more than Jennings
    I flubbed a line or two
    but muddled through by condescending

    I planned each show, of course--
    each frightened guest for Nightline airways
    and guests I always forced 
    to answer my way
    
    Though there were times, I'm sure your knew 
    They cut me off ... when-I missed cues 
    But unlike Dan, I didn't pout 
    I didn't fuss or walk right out
    so after all, when ratings fall
    they wouldn't hiiiirrree Dave
    
    But now, as ratings slide
    it's Jay or Dave the fans are choosing
    Perhaps, I should've tried 
    to make my show a bit amusing 
    And how could I do that 
    so they won't say, "Just hit the highway"?
    I know, I'll chant come rap
    to show my jive-ways
    
    For what is a host, what has he got?
    If not his show, then he has naught
    To spout the views he truly feels
    and not to Eisner bow and kneel
    The record shows that Eisner knows
    I'll do it my way
    
    What if... my ratings die?
    If Jay or Dave they still are viewing
    Perhaps, I'll have-to try
    some Naked News to get 'em viewing
    And yes, I'd stoop to that
    I'd show my bod, not in a shy way
    For sure, the babes would clap
    to see me side-ways
    
    A naked-news host... shows what he's got
    to show his all by hiding naught
    so viewer babes will surely feel
    like teenage girls who love to squeal
    They'll mail to show to let me know
    They'll do it my way..
.
Direct link for this 04-09-02 Political-Satire Daily Update:   http://polisat.com/du2002/du020430.htm#20020409-01.™©.2002.
Inspired by a news report¹ that Ted Koppel and ABC have reached agreement to continue Nightline for at least two more years in the wake of ABC's unsuccessful bid to hire Letterman to take the Nightline time-slot..
¹.  See  .http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A15859-2002Apr8.html.
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April 8, 2002 PoliSat.Com's Political-Satire Daily Update #20020408-01.™©.2002-Jim.Wrenn--Editor@PoliSat.Com.
Japan shows that Dances With Wolves wasn't so-hot
compared to displays of their Dances With Robots..

    Japan has made robots that frighten my mind
    with news-clips of robots all dancing in line.
    You ask why I fear
    such progress so clear--
    the dances by robots were better than mine..
.
Direct link for this 04-08-02 Political-Satire Daily Update:   http://polisat.com/du2002/du020430.htm#20020408-01.™©.2002.
Inspired by the stunning news footage of a line of Japanese robots not only maintaining perfect balance while ascending and descending curved staircases but also actually dancing in perfect rhythm..
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April 7, 2002 PoliSat.Com's Political-Satire Daily Update #20020407-01.™©.2002-Jim.Wrenn--Editor@PoliSat.Com.
If terror by stress were excused, revenge would be likewise excused..

    Assuming for argument's sake
    the claim Palestinians make--
    that Jews' "occupation" 
    invokes desperation
    so suicide bombers are made--

    We then must demand Palestinians
    admit when they murder civilians,
    such terror-creation
    promotes desperation
    for Jews to send soldiers on missions..
.
Direct link for this 04-07-02 Political-Satire Daily Update:   http://polisat.com/du2002/du020430.htm#20020407-01.™©.2002.
Inspired by my tiring of the specious argument by Palestinian spokespersons contending in essence that the Israeli "occupation" is the "cause" of suicide-bombings of Israeli civilians under the theory that "occupation" is so stressful that it negates Palestinians' ability to apply civilized restraints upon their lust for revenge.  Such spokespersons ignore, or exhibit patent blindness to, the logic of their argument, which would oblige them to concede that the stress inflicted by suicide-murders of Israeli civilians could equally be deemed so great as to negate the Israelis' ability to restrain themselves from applying military power in an effort to find and dismantle the networks of fanatics planning and supporting such murders..
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April 6, 2002 PoliSat.Com's Political-Satire Daily Update #20020406-01.™©.2002-Jim.Wrenn--Editor@PoliSat.Com.
Will Early Show score or just fumble ... in picking replacements for Gumbel?.

    Just who could succeed as the Early Show hosts?
    Inventors of gadgets for pancakes and toast
    because GMA 
    and also Today 
    have shown infomercials in ratings get most.
.
Direct link for this 04-06-02 Political-Satire Daily Update:   http://polisat.com/du2002/du020430.htm#20020406-01.™©.2002.
Inspired by the obvious fact that the ratings successes of Today and Good Morning America have amply demonstrated that infomercials for celebrities comprise the most effective lure for most early-morning viewers..
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April 5, 2002 PoliSat.Com's Political-Satire Daily Update #20020405-01.™©.2002-Jim.Wrenn--Editor@PoliSat.Com.
Good riddance to Early Show's Gumbel, whose slogan has been "I ain't humble.".

    The Early Show host, Bryant Gumbel,
    whose slogan has been "I ain't humble,"
    received a good-bye
    from CBS Eye
    since Early Show ratings have crumbled.

    But this won't cut Gumbel's career short--
    Retaining PeeCee as his consort,
    he's sure to reprise
    his best expertise--
    as "Dad" in arrears on "Divorce Court."
.
Direct link for this 04-05-02 Political-Satire Daily Update:   http://polisat.com/du2002/du020430.htm#20020405-01.™©.2002.
Inspired by a report¹ that CBS is divorcing Bryant Gumbel from the Early Show, but never fear, television programming will surely find a new, appropriate role for Gumbel..
¹.  See  .http://library.northernlight.com/FD20020404190000026.html?cb=0&dx=1006&sc=0#doc.
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April 4, 2002 PoliSat.Com's Political-Satire Daily Update #20020404-01.™©.2002-Jim.Wrenn--Editor@PoliSat.Com.
A peace won't occur 'til the moment is ripe to be seized by opponents..

    As long as a people believe
    that violence will yield what they need,
    they still will refuse
    to entertain views
    on how to succeed via peace.

    Until they attain what they need
    they'll never be open to peace
    until they have found
    from facts on the ground
    that violence won't yield what they need.
    
    'Til both sides have reached this conclusion
    they'll keep their minds closed to persuasion,
    and friendly directives
    cannot be effective
    'til both sides reach points of exhaustion.

    It's foolish to claim the delay
    in actions that Bush took today
    prevented opponents
    from seizing "the moment"
    that didn't exist 'til today .
.
Direct link for this 04-04-02 Political-Satire Daily Update:   http://polisat.com/du2002/du020430.htm#20020404-01.™©.2002.
Inspired by the reasonably obvious fact that the substance of the framework for a devising a solution described in Bush's speech today was virtually identical to what has been repeatedly proposed by the United States, which rejectionists ignored out of expectations of achieving more through force, and which rejectionists will continue to ignore until the fruits of their violence persuade them they can achieve more through negotiation..
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April 3, 2002 PoliSat.Com's Political-Satire Daily Update #20020403-01.™©.2002-Jim.Wrenn--Editor@PoliSat.Com.
Delusioned, M-S-N-B-C ... hires Donahue, Prince of PeeCee..

    The Network, M-S-N-B-C's,
    deluding itself to believe
    a left-winging flacker
    will out-rate The Factor 
    like Dohanue, Prince of PeeCee.

    Quite clearly, M-S-N-B-C 
    continues to fail to perceive
    that news-junkies flocked
    to menus on Fox 
    'cause others served only PeeCee .
.
Direct link for this 04-03-02 Political-Satire Daily Update:   http://polisat.com/du2002/du020430.htm#20020403-01.™©.2002.
Inspired by an April 3, 2002, report¹ that MSNBC has hired Phil Donahue to anchor a program each evening opposite Bill O'Reilly on Fox News.  Hmmm-- more fodder for O'Reilly.  If MSNBC really wanted to seriously compete with O'Reilly, they'd hire yours truly to host a program featuring, analyzing and critiquing political satire and commentary across the political spectrum-- i.e., a "spin zone" about "spin zones."
¹. See  .http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/ap/20020403/ap_on_en_tv/tv_donahue_6..
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April 2, 2002 PoliSat.Com's Political-Satire Daily Update #20020402-01.™©.2002-Jim.Wrenn--Editor@PoliSat.Com.
For chances for peace to be best...
Israelis must empty the terrorists' nest..

    We know under pressure from Clinton
    Barak offered statehood conditions,
    but Arafat said
    he'd rather drop dead
    than try to refine the conditions.

    It's hard to imaging what more
    Barak could have offered to score
    acceptance by Yasser,
    but terrorist masters
    preferred to continue their war.

    But critics attempt to cast blame
    on Dubya because he refrained
    from forcing Israelis
    to yield to the crazies
    who seek to have Israel slain.
    
    It's clear now to all but the blind
    the nature of Arafat's mind: 
    He knows how to use
    a "statesmanship" ruse
    beguiling the minds of the blind.

    If Arafat really were not
    supporting the terrorist plots,
    he wouldn't condemn
    Israeli attempts
    for finding and foiling such plots.

    If Yasser were not fellow-traveler
    with killers who advocate massacres,
    he'd not have released
    the man who unleashed
    the bomb at the Passover Massacre.

    Israelis are right to profess
    the chances for peace would be best
    with soldiers deployed
    to find and destroy
    the killers in Arafat's nest.
.
Direct link for this 04-02-02 Political-Satire Daily Update:   http://polisat.com/du2002/du020430.htm#20020402-01.™©.2002.
Inspired by the common-sense understanding that since Arafat won't (or can't) eliminate the terrorist networks waging war against Israeli civilians, the best chance, if any, for peace is for the Israelis to eliminate such terrorists "for" him ..
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April 1, 2002 PoliSat.Com's Political-Satire Daily Update #20020401-01.™©.2002-Jim.Wrenn--Editor@PoliSat.Com.
In Newsweek on April the First, Day of Fools... 
a Psalter to Bill who turned friends into fools..

    On April the First for the mocking of Fools
    the pundit who always was Clinton's best mule
    named Jonathan Alter
    has published a Psalter
    to Clinton whose conduct turned friends into fools.
.
Direct link for this 04-01-02 Political-Satire Daily Update:   http://polisat.com/du2002/du020430.htm#20020401-01.™©.2002.
Inspired by Jonathan Alter's love-piece¹ to Clinton released on April 1, 2002, in the Newsweek issue with the April 8, 2002, cover-date.
¹.  See  an article by Jonathan Alter dated April 8, 2002, for the April 8, 2002, Cover Date for Newsweek first released on the internet on April 1, 2002, on Newsweek's MSNBC website at http://www.msnbc.com/news/731408.asp?cp1=1 .  To find this article on the internet after April 1, 2002, may require one to search the archives of the on-line version of Newsweek.
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