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Political
Satire
/Commentary
Daily Updates
.™©·2003
..··
Where the satire is always
commentary but the commentary isn't always satire.
Special Commentary: To Citizen Soldiers a
Song to Explain How Proudly We Thank You for Deeds in Our Name.
·Change font/text size·
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Recent-Updates Index··
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Dec.
23, 2003--Jan. 6, 2004: Editor off for extended
Christmas/New-Year Holiday.
..
Dec.22, 2003: PoliSat
.Com's
Political Satire/
Commentary
Daily Update #
01·· ™©·2003··
Where the satire is always commentary, but the commentary isn't always satire
(but you'll know the difference)·
(Permanent, direct link to this Daily Update:
http://polisat.com/du2003/du031231.htm#20031222-01.)
(Keep
abreast of PoliSat.Com's Daily Political Satire/Commentary via Google's
News Alert)·
Mass
Destruction Weapons abandoned by Lybia's Gadaffi, Khadafy, Gadhafi.·
News reports yesterday that in response to pressure
from covert agents for Blair and CIA agents for Bush, Lybia's Moammar Khadafy
agreed to destroy his weapons of mass destruction and the facilities and
programs for producing them. (Source.)
This news as as good for Bush as it was bad for Dean's presidential
prospects. However, this is not the only setback suffered recently by
Dean, who had consistently demonstrated the dogged determination to stick to his
positions regardless of the facts. From highly reliable (reliably high?)
sources deep inside the Dean Compound, PoliSat.Com has obtained exclusive
footage of Dean in action as Commander in Chief of his campaign. To view
this exclusive footage, click the image below.
Bunker Busters-- Slow Motion Replay.
In Two Thousand Two, I regret,
I said that Saddam was a threat,
so therefore I've been
required to pretend
I never proclaimed him a threat.
Support I had said I would grant
for kicking Saddam in the pants
as long as the mission
received the permission
of Germany, Russia and France.
When Dubya ignored the demands
of Germany, Russia and France,
he lost my permission
by losing permission
of Germany, Russia and France.
Commencement of war made me hunker
inside my rhetorical bunker
for launching rhetorical
attacks metaphorical
on war in Iraq as a blunder.
While Joe stuck to arrows like cupid,
rhetorical missiles I boosted
to claim lack of growth
shows Bush doesn't know
it's still "the economy, stupid."
It's lucky for me that I hearkened
to incoming sounds that were markin'
that old Bubba bunker
in which I was hunkered
as "bullseyed" by bulls in the market.
With righteous and angry aplomb
I launched my rhetorical bombs
designed for assailing
the Dubya for failing
his mission to capture Saddam.
On incoming sounds from Iraq
from holes for Saddam 'neath a shack,
I opened the door
to exit before
my "Where's Saddam" bunker was smacked.
As charges that Bush used seduction
on weapons of massive destruction,
I fired verbal volleys
contending, by golly,
he's failed to reduce mass-destruction.
But Dubya and Blair have conspired
with Moammar Khadafy to fire
political bombs
declaring his arms
for massive destruction retired.
When
asked about these latest developments, Howard Dean issued a modified version of
his response to the capture of Saddam Hussein. Although Dean said he
welcomed the news that Blair and Bush have persuaded Khadafy to give upon his
weapons of mass destruction, he steadfastly maintained such accomplishment has
not make his prospects of being elected any safer." --Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com.·
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··Dec. 21, 2003--
No Update for Sunday, December 21, 2003.
..
..
Dec.20, 2003: PoliSat
.Com's
Political Satire/
Commentary
Daily Update #
01·· ™©·2003··
Where the satire is always commentary, but the commentary isn't always satire
(but you'll know the difference)·
(Permanent, direct link to this Daily Update:
http://polisat.com/du2003/du031231.htm#20031220-01.)
(Keep
abreast of PoliSat.Com's Daily Political Satire/Commentary via Google's
News Alert)·
BBC
News calls Saddam Hussein "former president" not "deposed
dictator."·
News reports today say that BBC news
editors have instructed reporters to describe Saddam Hussein as "the
deposed former president of Iraq" rather than as "the deposed former
dictator of Iraq" because, says the BBC, news sources must use
"neutral language." (Source)
This came as good news to leaders of the Stalinist Revival (headquartered in
California), who were delighted to learn BBC news reports referring to Stalin
will describe him as "the Soviet crusader against
Fascism."
BBC
Objectivism:
The
world knows our name, BBC,
Our goal for our news is to be
objectivist scholars
rejecting the collars
of Yankee subjectivists' pleas.
Rejecting subjectivists' claims
describing the toppled Hussein
as former "dictator,"
we scoff at his haters
with "president" hooked to his name.
Other groups are equally delighted. MoveOn lauded the BBC's decision to
describe George W. Bush as "the U.S. President receiving fewer votes than
Al Gore." Residents of Camelot likewise applauded the decision of the
BBC's Division of Archive Neutrality to reject a historian's proposal for
describing John F. Kennedy as the "President receiving more votes than
Nixon as a result of Nixon's decision not to challenge the fraudulent votes in
Illinois that tipped the election to Kennedy by a hair." The normally
quite reserved Mayor of London held a press conference to applaud the BBC's
decision to describe Tony Blair as a "British leader favoring removal of
presidents of countries elected by 100% of the voters." Leaders of Hamas
broke into tears of joy upon learning the BBC will describe Hamas as a
"Palestinian organization providing charitable assistance to victims of
Israeli occupation."
Reuters,
long admired in objectivists circles for its strict adherence to neutral
reporting by describing the 9-11 terrorists as "hijackers," lauded the
BBC decision to steadfastly continue objectifying the subjective by subjectifying
the objective. Perhaps the coup de gras is the BBC's decision to
counter modern Israeli subjectivism by changing the description of Hitler from
"genocidal tyrant" to "German leader who offered Jews the
opportunity to live in 'exclusive' neighborhoods."
It
amazes me that so many posing as moral objectivists seem unable to comprehend
the objectively moral superiority of freedom over tyranny. It seems that
many in the free press deem it subjectivism for a free press to "take
sides" between freedom and tyranny. In their objectivist zeal to avoid
subjectivism, they subjectify
objectively moral standards by equating anti-freedom forces with anti-tyranny
forces on the ground that each group views the other as "morally"
wrong. --Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com.·
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Dec.19, 2003: PoliSat
.Com's
Political Satire/
Commentary
Daily Update #
01·· ™©·2003··
Where the satire is always commentary, but the commentary isn't always satire
(but you'll know the difference)·
(Permanent, direct link to this Daily Update:
http://polisat.com/du2003/du031231.htm#20031219-01.)
(Keep
abreast of PoliSat.Com's Daily Political Satire/Commentary via Google's
News Alert)·
The
Jose Padilla case-- Martial detention versus law-enforcement detention.·
Combating Terror: Policing or Soldiering?.
To rule the Commander in Chief
must treat as a mere arrestee
a citizen found
for terrorists bound
to kill us will yield our defeat.
But critics of those who did not
in time hook the Nine-One-One dots
so righteously bow
when judges allow
Miranda's concealment of dots.
It's not rocket science to find
distinctions twixt warfare and crime,
so citizens seized
in terrorist deeds
cannot hide the dots we must find.
With counsel to argue both sides
in chambers a court can decide
if factors are showing
a danger that's growing
so dots the accused cannot hide.
Although this is no panacea,
in cases like that of Padilla,
defense counsel needn't
meet clients for pleadin'
for crim'nal not martial arenas.
Yesterday, in the case of
José
Padilla, the Court
of Appeals ruled
that evidence of a citizen's
presence in this country to carry out a terrorist mission as agent of a terrorist
organization at war with the United States is insufficient to negate
applicability of the full panoply of constitutional rights guaranteed to a
citizen charged with a mere criminal offense. Sharing the view that we
must avoid destroying our Constitutional rights in an elusive pursuit of an
unattainable level of safety from terrorism (as
I explained on June 1, 2002),
I nevertheless have confidence that the judicial system can make a reliably
meaningful determination of whether evidence supports military detention of an
American citizen as an agent of terrorists organizations at war with the United
States or is merely sufficient to support detention for law-enforcement
purposes.
A totalitarian police state would impose the equivalent of martial law to
accomplish such purpose, but the inherent power of a President of the United
States as Commander in Chief includes (and should be deemed by the Supreme Court
to include) the power to detain a citizen without affording such citizen access
to counsel while affording counsel appointed by a court (for such citizen) an
opportunity to argue that the evidence upon which the government relies to
effectuate a martial detention of the citizen merely constitutes evidence of
criminal conduct (warranting detention merely for law-enforcement purposes)
rather than actions as an agent of any organization at war with the United
States thereby warranting martial detention. If such counsel were to
persuade the court that the evidence indicates nothing more than mere criminal
activity, then the court could so rule and require the government to afford the
defendant the full panoply of rights guaranteed by the Constitution. If
such counsel were to fail to so persuade the court, then the court should rule
that continued martial detention of the citizen is within the constitutional
power of the Commander in Chief through his subordinates in the military chain
of command.
Furthermore, even if a Commander in Chief were to have some doubts about whether
the evidence warrants military detention rather than law-enforcement detention,
his/her duty as Commander in Chief would be to seek to exercise such judgment in
a manner most consistent with protecting us from terrorism. Even if a
court were to rule otherwise, such ruling would merely be indicative of the
separation-of-powers operation of our system of government rather than being
indicative of a totalitarian or police-state mentality on the part of the
Commander in Chief.
The logic is self-evident. If the U.S. government were to apprehend an
American citizen on the basis of evidence that he is an agent of such militarily
asymmetrical adversary with knowledge of the location of a nuclear bomb within,
or en route to, the United States for detonation in the future, no rational
person should deem the Constitutional guarantees of the right to remain silent
as preventing military detention of such citizen in an effort to discern the
location of such people and other agents working towards its
detonation.
To argue otherwise would be as unsound as it would have been to argue during the
War Between the States that Confederate agents captured by the U.S. were
entitled to such full panoply of rights rather than being subject to civilized
interrogation (without counsel and without resort to legal proceedings) by U.S.
military personnel in the course of martial detention (in contrast to detention
for mere law-enforcement purposes.)
--Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com.·
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Dec.18, 2003: PoliSat
.Com's
Political Satire/
Commentary
Daily Update #
01·· ™©·2003··
Where the satire is always commentary, but the commentary isn't always satire
(but you'll know the difference)·
(Permanent, direct link to this Daily Update:
http://polisat.com/du2003/du031231.htm#20031218-01.)
(Keep
abreast of PoliSat.Com's Daily Political Satire/Commentary via Google's
News Alert)·
Litigation erupts as Sony Unveils World's First 'Running' Humanoid Robot.·
According to news
reports today, Sony has produced a humanoid robot that can
"run." Although this new Sony robot, "Orio," is much
smaller than Honda's "Osmo," the human-size robot able to walk and
"dance," Sony expect to soon make a human-size model of the
"running" robot. Because running requires both feet to be
simultaneously off the ground plus the ability to maintain balance when the
ground is struck successively by one foot at a time, the software to enable a
robot to "run" is extremely complex. However, PoliSat.Com's
highly reliable (reliably high?) sources have revealed how and where Sony
obtained software for such robotic feat.
Running Robot.
Today, Sony claims to have done
what no other comp'ny has done:
Robotic construction
enhanced by instructions
for "humanoid" robots to "run."
The code in its brain that is stored
for both of its feet off the floor
prevents it from stalling
or stumbling or falling
when foot-after-foot strikes the floor.
But someone who's done this before
has now dispatched lawyers to court
with legal contentions
of patent infringements
on codes in the brain of Al Gore.
In a press-release issued upon the filing of this suit, Gore's lawyers
touted the case as a "slam dunk." When asked to describe the
scientific evidence and identify the experts upon whom they would rely to prove
their claim for patent-infringement on programming for a robotic humanoid to
"run," Gore's lawyers said they would not need to present scientific
evidence or expert witnesses because the court would be entitled to "take
judicial notice" of a fact widely understood as a matter of common
knowledge-- i.e., undisputed evidence that Al Gore can run. Gore's
publicist indicated there are already offers to acquire movie rights to the
story combining the inspirational Pinocchio-type story of a wooden figure
learning to run as part of a campaign to promote sensitivity to the
environment. The movie is tentatively titled, "Run Forest,"
starring Al Gump (a son of the forest) planting Apple-Tree Computers as he runs
through the rain forests of the world. (Hollywood moguls rejected the
initially-proposed title, "Alpha AppleSeed" because "seed"
is a male-centric term disparaging the intrinsic femininity of Mother
Earth.) --Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com.·
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..
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Dec.17, 2003: PoliSat
.Com's
Political Satire/
Commentary
Daily Update #
01·· ™©·2003··
Where the satire is always commentary, but the commentary isn't always satire
(but you'll know the difference)·
(Permanent, direct link to this Daily Update: http://polisat.com/du2003/du031231.htm#20031217-01.)
(Keep
abreast of PoliSat.Com's Daily Political Satire/Commentary via Google's
News Alert)·
·
Says Albright "My goal was to speak with tongue
planted firmly in cheek." ·
·
Tongue in Cheek or Tongue in Chic? ·
As Albright, not HalfBright, I speak
too often with tongue in the cheek
and therefore I must
remind you, "Don't trust
the things I say 'tongue in the cheek.' "
I'm sorry I wasn't more leery
of telling Kondracke my "theory"
that Dubya has "gotten"
Usama bin Laden
to hide him 'til voting is nearing.
I'm guessing poor Mort didn't see
my tongue planted firmly in cheek
in stating the theory
in mocking the dreary
contentions by people like Dean.
I thought he'd perceive that my "joke"
at others, not Dubya, was poked--
like Jimmy McDermott,
Proctology Servant
of paranoid Democrat folks.
I though he'd perceive I was mocking
the "ammo" that Dean has been stocking
like theories he's borne
that Dubya was warned
of plans for our Trade-Towers' toppling.
So now it's incumbent on me
to state what I thought he'd perceive--
i.e., I condemn
the theories of Jim
and Howard from paranoid dreams.
According to a Fox
News report today,
former Secretary of State Madeline Albright told Fox News today that Mort
Kondracke failed to understand that she was speaking "tongue in cheek"
to him yesterday when she implied she suspected we've already captured Usama bin
Laden and that Bush planned to withhold such information until just before the
election next November. Kondracke, not known as a person likely to jump to
wild conclusions, interpreted her comments as being serious in a vein similar to
earlier comments by Democratic U.S. Representative Jim McDermott of Washington
suggesting that Bush could have ordered the "capture" of Saddam
Hussein long before December 14, 2003, and that he had delayed doing so
previously in order to maximize "political timing" for the
capture. (To view an animated version of my commentary yesterday about
McDermott's allegations, go
here.) Was she
really speaking "tongue in cheek," was she speaking seriously, or was
she attempting to mock fellow Democratic politicians like Jim McDermott who
reflexively attribute base motives to every decision Bush makes? Did she
expect Kondracke to treat her comments as being "off the record"? If,
when he questioned whether she was being "serious" or
"joking," why did she not then say something to the effect of
"Mort, you dolt, I was speaking tongue in cheek, of
course"? Doesn't her attempt today to describe her comments as
"tongue in cheek" impliedly (if not overtly) constitute her clumsy and
timid effort to condemn the paranoid wing of the Democratic party for seriously
making, or spreading, comparable allegations-- i.e., McDermott accusing Bush of
"political timing" in the capture of Saddam Hussein; Ted Kennedy
accusing Bush of "plotting" the war on Iraq in Crawford for
"political benefit" and to "financially benefit" his
business friends and supporters; Howard Dean bringing public attention to
"theories" that Bush knew in advance about the plans for the 9-11
attack but chose to do nothing about them in order to achieve political support
as a "wartime" leader; Cynthia McKinney claiming Bush allowed 9-11 to
occur in order to justify war to financially benefit the Carlyle Group and gain
control of Iraq's oil; etc, ad nauseam? Intending no disrespect to
Kondracke, I'm giving Albright the benefit of the doubt and construing
Kondracke's interpretation of her comments as the product of a good-faith
misunderstanding of Albright's real intention of mocking the paranoid wing of
the Democratic Party thinking Kondracke, a traditional, classically-liberal
Democrat, would understand such intention without her explicitly saying
so. Most important, even if I were to not accord her the benefit of such
doubt, her fervent attempts to forcefully characterize such comments as having
been intended "tongue in cheek" indisputably constitutes a
public rebuke of members of her party who have expressed, or drawn attention to,
paranoid theories attributing base motives to Bush in toppling Saddam. --Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com.·
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Dec.16, 2003: PoliSat
.Com's
Political Satire/
Commentary
Daily Update #
01·· ™©·2003··
Where the satire is always commentary, but the commentary isn't always satire
(but you'll know the difference)·
(Keep
abreast of PoliSat.Com's Daily Political Satire/Commentary via Google's
News Alert)··
·
Political timing
determined ensnaring Saddam, says McDermott.·
Political Proctology: ·
In Congress, my name is McDermott
acclaimed for the times that I've furnished
political fog
as ideologue,
acclaim I deserve 'cause I've earned it.
My training as Doctor has furnished
my knack as Polemic Internist
to label as dots
political clots
connecting conspiracies furtive.
Like Dean, I'm a Doctor proclaiming
my medical skills in explaining
the motives of others
as stemming from druthers
for lying, deceiving and feigning.
And thus as Polemic Internist
I hereby proclaim I've determined
the timing to snare
Saddam from his lair
was set when the Dubya preferred it.
Conspiracy plots I can crack
'cause hooking the dots is a knack
for people who share
the paranoid flare
displayed by Saddam of Iraq.
According
to the Associated
Press, Washington state Democratic Congressman Jim McDermott alleged that
Bush had "timed" the capture of Saddam Hussein for
"political" advantage. McDermott alleged, inter alia¹,
that the U.S. military "could have" found Saddam "a long time ago if they
wanted [to do so]." Before commencement of combat operations for
Operation Iraqi Freedom, McDermott traveled to Baghdad and earned the nickname
"Baghdad Jim" in distinguishing himself as runner-up for the Cynthia
McKinney award for Ideological Paranoia by pronouncing Saddam Hussein more
trustworthy than George W. Bush. McDermott made his most recent statement
upon emerging from a small closet inside his Congressional office specially
fitted with a fan to circulate stale air and a reversing-image periscope to
enable him to keep abreast of events in the world outside his closet.
(McDermott began gaining national attention a few years ago in his crusade for a
"single payer" health-care system specially defining "single
payer" as legally synonymous with "tax-payer in the top 5% of
income-earners.") In response to a wave of criticism for his claims
that Bush had "timed" the capture of Saddam for "political"
advantage, McDermott denied saying what he had said despite it's having been
preserved by the recordation of the radio program on which he said it. To
demonstrate the veracity of his denial that he said what he said, McDermott
said, "What are you going to believe? Me or your own
ears?" Could it be that political timing determined conspiracy claims
by McDermott? Gambling in Casablanca? Political proctology?
¹·"Inter
alia" is legal jargon for "among other things."
--Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com..
.·
Direct link for
this Update: ·
http://polisat.com/du2003/du031231.htm#20031216-01
· ™©2003
.
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Dec.15, 2003: PoliSat
.Com's Political Satire/
Commentary Daily Update #
01·· ™©·2003··
Where the satire is always commentary, but the commentary isn't always satire
(but you'll know the difference)·
(Keep
abreast of PoliSat.Com's Daily Political Satire/Commentary via Google's
News Alert)··
·
Saddam being captured
leaves Dean not enraptured.·
On learning Saddam had
been captured
not only was Dean not enraptured
he also eschewed
the common-sense view
that danger's reduced by his capture.
Perhaps he'd prefer to amend
complaints made again and again
like dog-in-the-manger
contentions that dangers
were worse 'cause Saddam wasn't penned.
He also contended the war
in money is costing us more
than what we'd have borne
if Bush had foresworn
to topple the Baathists by war.
Instead he should focus his wrath
on whoever coached him in math,
since costs for maintaining
deployments restraining
Saddam would not be by warfare surpassed.
And further, his theory ignores
the fact that the size of the force
deployed to "contain"
Saddam would inflame
the lust for more "Towers" destroyed.
I listened to Howard Dean's specious contentions in his speech today that
neither the toppling nor the capture of Saddam has made us any "safer"
and that employment of military force to topple him imposed upon us far greater
costs than the costs of merely using threats of force to contain and/or
restrain him. The speciousness of such contentions should be obvious to
anyone not blinded by ideological hatred for Bush. First, to
contend that Saddam's capture does not reduce danger is to ignore the common
sense perception that victims of a police state become less reluctant to
collaborate with those who toppled the police state once the capture of the head
of the police state makes it clear he can't return to power. Second,
his contentions today fly in the face of his prior contentions reciting our
prior failure to capture Saddam as one of the factors increasing dangers to our
troops, to our allies and to us. Third, his contention that the war
exposed us to greater costs than would have been by merely using military
deployments to contain and/or restrain Saddam reveals that math is not his
strong suite since it's not reasonably in dispute that the costs of continuing
to maintain the 250,000-plus size force in the middle east to contain/restrain
Saddam would have been greater than the costs of the war to topple him (not to
mention less effective). Finally, and most important, his
argument ignores two other factors: (A) that a policy seeking to
"contain" or "restrain" or deter Saddam's dangerous impulses
and discourage him from temptations to collaborate with terrorists against us
would have required indefinite deployment of a military force in the Middle East
that would have dwarfed the size of the pre-9-11 force, deployment of which had
been a major factor motivating the 9-11 terrorists, and (B) that unlike a war to
topple Saddam, such "containment" policy would increase motivations
for more terrorist attacks against us without affording us the opportunity to
convert a hostile power into a potential asset and force the terrorists to
respond to our initiatives rather than vice versa. It's the difference
between the purely defensive tactics of Tic-Tac-Toe and the strategies of chess
as illustrated by my
November
12, 2003 commentary.
--Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com..
.·
Direct link for
this Update: ·
http://polisat.com/du2003/du031231.htm#20031215-01
· ™©2003
.
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December 14, 2003:
Capture of Saddam Hussein warrants repetition of
expressions of thanks on November 27, 2003:
This is dedicated to thank our troops for capturing Saddam:
Nov. 27, 2003: PoliSat
.Com's Political Satire/
Commentary Daily Update #
01·· ™©·2003 ·(posted
Nov. 29)·
To Citizen Soldiers a Song
to Explain
How Proudly We Thank You for Deeds in Our Name...·
(Scroll down below image for text-only version)
From farms in the country, from cities and towns,
from places quite humble, from places renowned,
from fact'ries, from stores and from offices tall,
from service professions, from stores in our malls,
come citizen soldiers their country to serve
as full time professionals or guard or reserve.
From mothers and fathers and husbands and wives,
from children and lovers and friends in their lives,
our citizen soldiers depart despite tears
on missions of danger in spite of their fears
as selflessly, proudly, and bravely they serve
that freedom of conscience and Faith be preserved.
In caves and in tunnels where murderers train
unspeakable terror they face in our name.
With principled discipline, training and skill
in taming the instinct to kill or be killed
our citizen soldiers have honored our name,
so, proudly we thank them for deeds in our name.
They serve in the skies, and at sea and on land,
in mountains and jungles and deserts of sand,
on foot and in foxholes, in trenches and tents,
in tanks and on submarine mission descents,
in planes and on ships and on carrier decks,
in Humvees, and hangars and convoys on treks.
For risks to themselves in their battles with terrors
increased by attempts to use force without error,
for risks to themselves they increase by providing
assistance to those who for freedom are striving,
our citizen soldiers have honored our name,
so thank them we must for their deeds in our name.
So we and posterity freedom retain
barbaric regimes you confront in our name.
To you who defend us, we proudly proclaim
our pride in the deeds you have done in our name.
We thank you, we thank you for deeds in our name,
We thank you, we thank you for deeds in our name.·
···
Copyright, November, 2003, by James R. Wrenn, Jr., Editor at PoliSat.Com.
Note to visitors: I'm in the process of arranging for recording and
production of this song, which I authored to honor those who serve us in the
military. --Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com.·
Direct link for
this Update: · http://polisat.com/du2003/du031130.htm#20031127-01
· ™©2003
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Dec.13, 2003: PoliSat
.Com's
Political
Satire/
Commentary
Daily Update #
01·· ™©·2003··
Where the satire is always commentary, but the commentary isn't always satire
(but you'll know the difference)·
(Keep
abreast of PoliSat.Com's Daily Political Satire/Commentary via Google's
News Alert)··
·
Halliburton can easily quiet its
most vociferous critics.·
Selecting 2003's Grinch
say critics of Bush is a cinch:
Their fav'rite selection
since Cheney's election
proclaims Halliburton "the Grinch."
To help Halliburton, "the Grinch"
escape such perception of stench
in nostrils of critics
it's easy to fix it:
Assign all its stock to the French.
The current political firestorm now dominating news
reports about
Halliburton's subsidiary, Kellogg, Brown & Root, having passed on to the
Army what are alleged to have been excessive prices for gasoline to be
transported to Iraq from Kuwait is fed more by political motivation than mere
disgruntlement over the alleged wasting of taxpayer funds. How
cost-efficient were companies performing "Marshall Plan" contracts
immediately after World War II? To what extent is it reasonable to ignore
the reality that needs to accord priority to reliability, efficiency, security,
availability, expertise and similar factors diminish the likelihood that any
company performing contracts under such circumstances can avoid occasionally
being "taken." The politically motivated nature of the vitriol
of Halliburton's most vociferous critics makes Halliburton's solution to the
problem self-evident-- transfer it's stock to the French and then enjoy their
deafening silence.
--Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com..
.·
Direct link for
this Update: ·
http://polisat.com/du2003/du031231.htm#20031213-01
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Dec.12, 2003: PoliSat
.Com's
Political
Satire/
Commentary
Daily Update #
01·· ™©·2003··
Where the satire is always commentary, but the commentary isn't always satire
(but you'll know the difference)·
(Keep
abreast of PoliSat.Com's Daily Political Satire/Commentary via Google's
News Alert)··
·
McCain/Feingold rulings can't
crackdown on Gore-Versus-Hillary SmackDowns: .·
McCain/Feingold laws forced a crackdown
on funds for Political SmackDowns
but funding ain't needed
for fans to be treated
to Gore-Versus-Hillary SmackDowns.
The UPN¹
Network presents
the SmackDowns as tag-team events:
The GoreDeän²
Knots
v Hill'ry/Clark Plots,
and Jesse will "ref" the events.
According to an article in the Boston
Herald, Hillary is being "coy" about whether she would
"accept" nomination as candidate for Vice President. This is
after news
reports that Wesley Clark said he would "not rule out" selecting
Hillary Clinton as his Vice Presidential running mate. As observed in this
space on December 10, 2003,
Hillary's instantaneous response to Al Gore endorsing Howard Dean was that there
should be no "coronation" before the primaries. Earlier reports
quoted Bill Clinton expressing his opinion that Hillary would make a great
president. This will be a fun political food-fight to watch. There's
ample reason to conclude (as suggested in this space on December
9, 2003) that a prime factor motivating Gore to endorse Dean was a desire to
block Hillary from using Clark to deadlock the convention to get the nomination
for herself and such motivation stemmed from Gore perceiving the bathtub ring
left by Clinton as a greater factor leading to his defeat than the alleged flaws
in Florida balloting process. With the new campaign finance law, perhaps an
improvement would be for coverage of this ongoing power struggle between the
Gorian and Hillarian wings of the Democratic Party to be featured on UPN as a
replacement for milder forms of body slamming otherwise known as
"professional" wrestling. Maybe Jesse Ventura could be the
referee for the Political Wrestling SmackDown of the Century. --Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com.
¹·UPN,
as everyone knows, stands for "Unruly Political Nuts."
²·Pronounce
the "ea" in Dean as a diphthong so GoreDeän
rhymes with Gordian
.
.·
Direct link for
this Update: ·
http://polisat.com/du2003/du031231.htm#20031212-01
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Dec.11, 2003: PoliSat
.Com's
Political
Satire/
Commentary
Daily Update #
01·· ™©·2003··
Where the satire is always commentary, but the commentary isn't always satire
(but you'll know the difference)·
(Keep
abreast of PoliSat.Com's Daily Political Satire/Commentary via Google's
News Alert)··
·
Some contracts for work in Iraq
to Vladimir, Gerhardt and Jacques.·
We owe it to those who have died
and those who are risking their lives
for putting Iraq
on liberty's track
to help those who've stood by our side.
It boggles the mind to hear critics
proclaim it a duty of civics
that funds from our taxes
for helping Iraqis
be shared with our do-nothing critics.
To Vladimir, Gerhardt and Jäcques:
For thwarting our work in Iräq,
the most you deserve
for failures of nerve
from birds onto statues are dropped.
Since Vladimir, Gerhardt and Jäcques
want contracts for work in Iräq,
then hire them with haste
to work to erase
what birds onto statues have dropped.·
With respect to contracts for reconstruction of Iraq to be funded by the 21
billion dollars appropriated by Congress from U.S. taxpayers for such purpose,
it boggles the mind that anyone could deem it unreasonable for the Coalition in
Iraq to award such contracts only to countries supporting our efforts. It
also boggles the mind that anyone could deem us obliged to allow French, German
or Russian companies to compete for such contracts on an equal footing with
companies from the U.S., Britain, Australia, Spain, Poland, Italy, Czech Land,
South Korea, Japan, and the numerous other countries who assisted, or are now
assisting, us in Iraq. Further, it also boggles the mind that anyone could
deem it "inconsistent" for Bush to simultaneously send James Baker to
negotiate with France, Germany and Russia on our desire that they forgive part
of the debts they hold from Saddam Hussein's regime. It seems to me, to
have adopted a position putting French, German and Russian companies on equal
footing with companies from Coalition countries would be to send Baker into a
poker game with no cards to play or chips to put onto the table.
···
--Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com.·
Direct link for
this Update: ·
http://polisat.com/du2003/du031231.htm#20031211-01
· ™©2003
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Dec.10, 2003:
PoliSat
.Com's
Political
Satire/
Commentary
Daily Update #
01·· ™©·2003··
Where the satire is always commentary, but the commentary isn't always satire
(but you'll know the difference)·
(Keep
abreast of PoliSat.Com's Daily Political Satire/Commentary via Google's
News Alert)··
·
The
GoreDean Knot
ties
Hillary's Plot.
It's Billary's Hillary Clinton v Gore's Howard Dean, his invention.·
(Get ready to ruuummmmbbbbllllleee!)
When Gore's joined with Dean it's a diphthong¹:
A GoreDeeun²
Knot for this sing-song
when hereafter seen
you'll know what I mean:
when Gore's hooked to Dean they're a diphthong.
Though some think it's etymological,
to experts it's etiological--
A GoreDean Knot
politic'ly clots
with hard'ning that ideological.
I'm Hillary needing to neuter
the value of frontrunner "futures"
like GoreDean Knots
restraining my plot
for shorting conventioning futures.
And so I'm obliged to opine
the Dean coronation designed
to keep him ahead
is wrong 'cause his head
can't fit in the crown that is mine.
I'm Billary, husband of Hillary,
with orders from Hill'ry to pillory
the ingrate named Gore
we raised from the floor
despite his imbued imbecility.
In tying his GoreDean Knot.
Al Gore has revealed he is not
as dumb as I thought
because he has wrought
a knot in my Hillary's plot.
·
···
¹·For
those who may have forgotten, go
here for the meaning of a diphthong.
²·GoreDeeun
represents the pronunciation of GoreDean with the "ea" as a diphthong.
Inspired by: Hillary
cautioning Democrats against treating Gore's endorsement of Dean as a
"coronation"; It's Billary's Hillary Clinton v Gore's Howard Dean,
his invention. --Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com.·
Direct link for
this Update: ·
http://polisat.com/du2003/du031231.htm#20031210-01
· ™©2003
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....
Dec.9, 2003:
PoliSat
.Com's
Political
Satire/
Commentary
Daily Update #
01·· ™©·2003··
Where the satire is always commentary, but the commentary isn't always satire
(but you'll know the difference)·
(Keep
abreast of PoliSat.Com's Daily Political Satire/Commentary via Google's
News Alert)··
·
Reliables sources explain
why Gore's on the Howard Dean train.·
My sources covertly explained
that Gore boarded Howard Dean's train
because he accepted
my views on the seventh¹--
He's raining on Hillary's Game.
His reason for shunning poor Joe
is not that he'd want to say "No"
to Joe, his old friend,
but rather to end
the chances for Hill'ry to grow.
Perhaps what continues to sting
the most ain't the Florida thing,
but thinking his loss
by Bubba was caused
by leaving a tub with a ring.
Since Al won't help Joe to stop Dean,
then Hill'ry more often must preen
for chances to say
"I haven't okayed
that ' Draft-Hill'ry Clinton ' machine."
That Gore said it's Dean he will tout
puts Hillary's planning in doubt
by increasing chances
that quantum advances
by Dean will leave Hill'ry locked out.
He's bollixed her planning to count
on deadlock providing the route
for Hill'ry to craft
a "Hillary Draft"
if polling for Dubya's gone south.
·
··
¹·Just
to put today's installment (above) in context, click the image at the left to
view the animation illustrating the December 7, 2003 installment of my Political
Satire/Commentary:
···
--Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com.·
Direct link for
this Update: ·
http://polisat.com/du2003/du031231.htm#20031209-01
· ™©2003
.
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..
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Dec.8, 2003:
PoliSat
.Com's
Political
Satire/
Commentary
Daily Update #
01·· ™©·2003··
Where the satire is always commentary, but the commentary isn't always satire
(but you'll know the difference)·
(Keep
abreast of PoliSat.Com's Daily Political Satire/Commentary via Google's
News Alert)··
·
ICANN to U.N., ipse
dixit: The Net isn't broken-- Don't "fix" it:
My own ipse dixit proclaims ICANN fix it.·
(Footnotes for viewers unfamiliar with legal and internet jargon: ICANN¹;
ipse
dixit².)
Reports say that ICANN received
'til 2005 a reprieve
from slow strangulation
by miscreant nations
who'd rule how the Web we should weave.
Proponents of UN control
on weaving the Internet's folds
resemble exhorters
to license "reporters"
by standards their governments mold.
It's not since our first-most Amendment
against free-expression infringement
that freedom received
such help to proceed
as that from the Wide-Web's invention.
Since using the Web may elicit
what tyrants perceive as illicit,
we can't simply by-stand
but must echo ICANN:
When something ain't broken, don't "fix" it.·
···
Today's news (see articles in the Washington
Times and TechNewsWorld)
provides grounds for short-term optimism for those who (correctly)
perceive proposals by some UN delegations for the United Nations to assume
regulatory control over the worldwide web as a serious threat to freedom of
communication.
¹·ICANN
(pronounced eye-can) is the acronym for The Internet Corporation for
Assigned Names and Numbers (ICANN). It's the non-profit corporation that
was formed to assume responsibility for the IP address space allocation,
protocol parameter assignment, domain name system management, and root server
system management functions previously performed under U.S. Government contract
by IANA and other entities. Here's the site: http://www.icann.org/.
²·"Ipse
dixit" is a Latin phrase used by lawyers in the context of determining
admissibility of expert opinions. The gist of the phrase in that context
is that a court is not bound to permit introduction of conclusions expressed by
an expert merely on the basis of his credentials (i.e., a conclusion
expressed by an expert is not rendered reliable (and, hence, admissible as
evidence) merely because "he says it's so." Instead, the
rules of evidence oblige the court to determine whether the data upon which the
expert relies establish a reliable connection to the conclusion proffered by the
expert. Here, I'm using "ipse dixit" in a somewhat
broader sense to represent an assertion of a conclusion supported by logic and
human experience.
--Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com.·
Direct link for
this Update: ·
http://polisat.com/du2003/du031231.htm#20031208-01
· ™©2003
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Dec.7, 2003:
PoliSat
.Com's
Political
Satire/
Commentary
Daily Update #
01·· ™©·2003··
Where the satire is always commentary, but the commentary isn't always satire
(but you'll know the difference)·
(Keep
abreast of PoliSat.Com's Daily Political Satire/Commentary via Google's
News Alert)··
·
Hillary's Rain Game.·
On Russert, today, to expand
the scope of contingency plans,
I fanned by my feint
of blowing-out flames
the fires for "Draft-Hill'ry" demands.
To contrast my viewpoint from Dean's,
I strongly implied I was keen
on strategy for
a plan to resort
to toppling the Baathist regime.
To contrast my tactics from Kerry's
I strongly implied I'll not scurry
from reiterating
positions I'd taken
on force, which by vote I'd encouraged.
Outflanking Dick Gephardt's appeal,
my right-wing-conspiracy spiel
will demonize Bush
by claiming he'll push
for laws to repeal the New Deal.
Since Edwards is mainly depending
on cuteness appealing to women,
I'll leave him alone,
since often I'm told
I'm much more appealing to women.
Since Lieberman clearly is preening
for voters the Left is demeaning,
I needn't attack
his views to refract
the meager support that he's gleaning.
Though Sharpton, Kucinich and Braun
deny that their chances are "gone,"
I needn't distinguish
their views to extinguish
campaigns that are already gone.
And fin'lly, this brings me to Clark,
who mounted a horse that is dark
I lent not for racing
but stalking and placing
as second when my horse embarks.
My bashing of Bush will be better
'cause Leftists we leave me unfettered
to run to the middle
while knowing I'd fiddle
their tunes if I'm picked by Electors.·
···
--Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com.·
Direct link for
this Update: ·
http://polisat.com/du2003/du031231.htm#20031207-01
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Dec.6, 2003:
PoliSat
.Com's
Political
Satire/
Commentary
Daily Update #
01·· ™©·2003··
Where the satire is always commentary, but the commentary isn't always satire
(but you'll know the difference)·
(Keep
abreast of PoliSat.Com's Daily Political Satire/Commentary via Google's
News Alert)··
·
Did Bush "wag the
turkey" on Thanksgiving Thursday?
Confessions to expurgate what Newsweek calls "TurkeyGate."·
In Newsweek, an "article"¹
states
since turkey I briefly displayed
while visiting troops
could not be consumed,
my trip "wagged the turkey" that day.
Contending I should've revealed
the turkey I knew to be real,
the "article" gripes
twas "stage-managed" hype
to not show the turkey for real.
Inspired by such "gripes" to come clean,
I ordered all soldiers to glean
their Thanksgiving pictures
to show without strictures
the turkey that should've been seen.
I promised the troops to not stop 'em
from voting from top to the bottom.
The "pic" of the turkey
they voted "least murky"
was this one of ........... (for the ending, view the animation or see footnote
2.).·
···
Inspired by a Dec.
5, 2003 "article" (under the caption "National News") in
Newsweek on-line by Brian Braiker as a "reporter" writing a
"Newsweek Web Exclusive" titled "Wag the Turkey" consisting
of propagandistic questions posed by Braiker to Presidential Historian Douglas
Brinkley to depict as "Turkeygate" Bush's being photographed holding a
turkey prepared for display in the chow line rather than for consumption during
Bush's Thanksgiving visit with troops at Baghdad Airport.
¹·Newsweek's
on-line format depicted this hit-piece as an "exclusive" article
(i.e., not op/ed or commentary) on "National News."
²·If
your browser won't play the animation, here's the answer: "Hillary
Rodham."
--Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com.·
Direct link for
this Update: ·
http://polisat.com/du2003/du031231.htm#20031206-01
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..
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Dec.5, 2003:
PoliSat
.Com's
Political
Satire/
Commentary
Daily Update #
01·· ™©·2003··
Where the satire is always commentary, but the commentary isn't always satire
(but you'll know the difference)·
(Keep
abreast of PoliSat.Com's Daily Political Satire/Commentary via Google's
News Alert)··
·
I think ICANN, I think
ICANN...
Will ICANN allow the U.N.'s
control of the Web to begin?..·
The growth of the Internet Web
helps freedom advance 'stead of ebb,
so freedom demands
that government hands
do little in weaving the Web.
Reports say that soon the UN
intends to propose to begin
control of the Net
to aid and abet
the Third World's desires to get in.
Because the UN is the worstest
in helping the lastest be firstest,
to let it control
the Internet's folds,
it soon would become the Interred Net.
So ICANN¹
should tell Kofi Annan²
that if the UN won't abandon
its trigger-lock plank,
then ICANN will yank
permission to lock its ICANNon.·
···
¹·ICANN
(pronounced eye-can) is the acronym for The Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers (ICANN).
It's the non-profit corporation that was formed to assume responsibility for the IP address space allocation, protocol parameter assignment, domain name system management, and root server system management functions previously performed under U.S. Government contract by IANA and other entities.
Here's the site: http://www.icann.org/.
²·Reports
some time ago quoted Kofi Annan as expressing a preference for the English
pronunciation of his last name to rhyme with "cannon" rather than
"anon." --Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com.·
Direct link for
this Update: ·
http://polisat.com/du2003/du031231.htm#20031205-01
· ™©2003
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..
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Dec.4, 2003:
PoliSat
.Com's
Political
Satire/
Commentary
Daily Update #
01·· ™©·2003· (posted Dec. 5)·
Mouth on Foot for Foot in Mouth
or Tongue in Cheek for Cheeky Tongue?
I know I think I know what I'm thinking without knowing...·
A prize by some Brits was announced
for Rumsfeld for "foot in the mouth"
for claiming unknowns
are known and unknown--
I paraphrase words he did spout:
We know there are things that we know
and know things we know we don't know
but know that we've found
the unknown abounds
in things we don't know we don't know.
His meaning they claim not to know
so therefore to them I bestow
the title of Dummy,
who unlike the Rummy
don't know they know less than they know.
In giving the prize for the Mouthful of Foot,
if he who judged syntax that Rummy forsook
had not done his deed
with tongue-in-the-cheek,
he'd owe Donald Rumsfeld a mouth on the foot.·
···
Inspired by a news
report that Britain's Plain English Campaign awarded a "Foot in
Mouth" award to Rumsfeld for comments in response to a question on weapons
of mass destructions not yet having been found in Iraq. Here's the classic
Rumsfeldian response:
"Reports that say something hasn't happened are always interesting to me, because as we know, there are known knowns; there are things we know we know," Rumsfeld said. "We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns - the ones we don't know we don't know."
One of the things about Rumsfeld that most
frightens his serious critics is that he's one of the few political
leaders who consistently refuses to claim to know what he doesn't know he knows
and readily concedes what he knows he doesn't know. One of the reasons it
frightens his critics is that it manifests a quality they lack. Of course,
that's not really true of the Brits who, in giving him the award (which was at
least partly tongue in cheek if not foot in mouth), said, "We think we know
what he means. But we don't know if we really know." --Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com.·
Direct link for
this Update: ·
http://polisat.com/du2003/du031231.htm#20031204-01
· ™©2003
.
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..
..
Dec.3, 2003:
PoliSat
.Com's
Political
Satire/
Commentary
Daily Update #
01·· ™©·2003 (posted Dec. 4)··
Says Clark he's envisioned a
war-winning mission
(inspired by Madonna's Political Sauna)...·
I'm Clark with a plan that will win
the war Bush was wrong to begin.
I'll lead expeditions
with new ammunition
negating their will to defend.
My new blind ambition conditioned
my mind to envision the mission:
As new ammunition,
I'm cloning a million
Madonnas as Blond Ammunition.
You wonder what made me envision
the weapon of Blond Ammunition.
Attending Madonna's
political saunas
exposed me to Blond Ammunition.
Replacing our spies undercover,
the clones of Madonna will smother
the will to resist
of Baathists we've missed
by showing their "secrets" uncovered.
Though combat for gals we abhor,
Madonna assured me we'd score
a vict'ry quite soon
by sending platoons
of Women Undressed Against War.·
···
Inspired by news reports that Wesley Clark met with Madonna for
"advice" on campaigning for the presidential nomination for 2004 and
for ending the war in Iraq. Blind Ambition meeting Blond Ambition led Wes
to envision Blond Ammunition illustrated by Madonna and implemented last year on
a hill somewhere in Southern California by a bunch of women "undressing
against war" and lying in a pattern to spell "No
War."
--Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com.·
Direct link for
this Update: ·
http://polisat.com/du2003/du031231.htm#20031203-01
· ™©2003
.
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..
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Dec. 2, 2003:
PoliSat
.Com's
Political
Satire/
Commentary
Daily Update #
01·· ™©·2003 ··
Outfoxed or Outboxed?..·
"I'm Hill'ry, I'm here to improve
morale for American troops
to claim Bush to be
Commander in Chief
of strategy out of the loop."
Says Bush, "Hill'ry claims I'm outfoxed
and touts plans for outing the fox
by using the skills
developed with Bill,
but I'm thinking outside the box."·
···
Although I certainly respect the courage of any Western political figure
(and any western reporter) to travel to areas inhabited by terrorists desiring
to murder western political figures (and reporters) and, therefore, certainly
respect Hillary Clinton's willingness to travel to Afghanistan and Iraq, I find
it outrageous for any political leader visiting our troops to trash the strategy
in which their Commander in Chief is asking them to risk their lives.
Hillary Clinton's comments to troops in Afghanistan and Iraq expressing doubts
about the viability of their mission constituted offensive, self-serving,
political obscenity. --Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com.·
Direct link for
this Update: ·
http://polisat.com/du2003/du031231.htm#20031202-01
· ™©2003
.
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Dec. 1, 2003:
PoliSat
.Com's
Political
Satire/
Commentary
Daily Update #
01·· ™©·2003 ··
A visit to crack the Bulge in
Iraq...·
I'm glad Dubya flew to Iraq
despite risks of missiles and flak.
His Thanksgiving mission
was great though conditions
required him to promptly come back.
The danger to Bush in this quest
and also to troops he addressed
was greater, of course,
than others on course
for dangerous fact-finding quests.
As long as ex-Baathists indulge
their hope that their Battle to Bulge
the numbers we grieve
will force us to leave,
they'll not learn their chances are null.
Like Battles creating the Bulge,
the last hope the Nazis indulged,
the spikes in attacks
by thugs in Iraq
are last hopes the Baathists indulge.
Though Churchill did not need indulge
a trip to the Battle named Bulge,
the Bulge in Iraq
by Dubya was cracked
to thank those who'll flatten the Bulge.
We're lucky when Ike faced the Bulge,
our citizens didn't indulge
the Nazis the slack
for victory snatched
from jaws of defeat by their Bulge.·
···
Bush was right to meet the troops in Iraq for Thanksgiving, albeit a brief
meeting kept secret until departure immediately thereafter. The fact that
extension and disclosure of his presence would have so dramatically increased
the risks to everyone near him (including troops as well as any group of Iraqi
leaders he could have met) warranted the secrecy and brevity of his visit.
However, the fact that the visit symbolically underscored his commitment to the
stabilization of freedom in Iraq constituted a benefit dramatically outweighing
the acknowledgement of the currently insufficient stability that the brevity and
secrecy of his mission necessarily implied. --Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com.·
Direct link for
this Update: ·
http://polisat.com/du2003/du031231.htm#20031201-01
· ™©2003
.
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