Gorefomercials © 1999 (Infomercials for Goreventions)
    Schedules for late-night/early-morning broadcasts:

• Sleazy Rider (2:00 am)  Like the mechanical-bull riders in  Saturday Night Fever, Gore shows his skill as the "Sleazy Rider" staying on the political bull devised by Clinton.   He hasn't been thrown off yet, so tune in for the next show to see how he gets off without stepping in all those cow-pies which have piled-up around the bull since 1992.  .Back to Alpha Gore Index.

• The Prevent-Lung-Cancer Regimen (2:30 am) Gore's special guest will be Bill Clinton, giving up time from "doing the work of the people" to make this special presentation to save kids from lung cancer.  Adapting the highly successful "give kids condoms- cause they'll have sex anyway" project, Clinton, with the aid of several MTV-age groupies, will demonstrate how young people can enjoy tobacco without inhaling or chewing.  .Back to Alpha Gore Index.

• The Gorbles Technique (3:00am)  In this tour-de-force presentation on the free-enterprise concept of salesmanship, Gore explains his proven techniques for successful salesmanship, widely known as the Gorbles Technique, emphasizng the mental discipline necessary for the salesman to convince himself that the representations by his employer are true rather than lies (or, that even if they're lies, it really doesn't matter).   .Back to Alpha Gore Index.

Gorisma © 1999
---So what if Al Gore doesn't "bury the needle" on the "charisma" meter? He buries the needle on the much-more-important Gorisma Meters © 1999  click here....Back to Alpha Gore Index.

Gorisma Meters © 1999

• Woodenness Meter:  Long considered to be the most-wooden man in America,  we now know that Clinton's far ahead of him in that category.   .Back to Alpha Gore Index.

• Credulity* Meters:  .Political Science Credulity Meter.  .Sex Credulity Meter.
  *Yes, we mean "credulity" not "credibility."  Among scientifically literate Americans not willing to politicize science to advance political agendas, Gore has zero credibility, but in those who politicize science to advance their agendas, Gore has 100% credulity bordering on blind faith.  .Back to Alpha Gore Index.

• Political Science Credulity Meter © 1999

  • Scientific expertise  Degree in journalism (almost like being a rocket scientist)
  • Articles of faith  Believes "findings" by "more than 2,000 scientists" that chloroflourocarbons are destroying the ozone layer and that carbon-dioxide emissions are causing "global warming" (Doesn't realize that all but a few of the 2,000 "scientists" are bureaucrats with PhD's in social studies or other arcane fields.)
    • Ozone-depletion theory  Doesn't know that chloroflourocarbons, which can destroy ozone in a laboratory container, are heavier than air (which is why they were used in gases for gas-warfare) and don't reach the upper stratosphere where the interaction of sunlight with oxygen creates ozone  .Back to Alpha Gore Index.
    • Greenhouse theory  Doesn't understand that carbon-dioxide emissions are food for trees; Doesn't understand that nearly 200-year-old daily records of temperature and sunspot activity (recently discovered in the basement a 200-year-old observatory) demonstrate that annual fluctuations in average temperature correlated almost exactly with sunspot activity; When greenhouse-theory proponents recently reported that 1998 was hotter than it had been in "600 years," doesn't anyone think to ask what could have made it so hot 600 years ago when there were no automobiles.  Back to Alpha Gore Index.
• Sex Credulity Meter © 1999
He courageously stood almost alone in believing Clinton's categorical denial that he had "sexual relations with that woman."  Back to Alpha Gore Index.
• Memory-Lapse Meter
  • The evils of Tobacco:  As he related to the 1996 Democratic Convention delegates and the American people the genuinely tragic story of his sister's death as the catalytic "Saul on the road to Damascus" event that converted him to his article of faith in the unsurpassed breadth and depth of evil embodied in tobacco-company executives and tobacco (but not the noble tobacco farmers), he understandably forgot the trivial fact that between the date of that tragic event and the date of that Democratic Convention speech, he had given a different speech to tobacco farmers in North Carolina extolling the virtues of tobacco farming and bragging about his, and his family's, long and proud history as tobacco producers.  Back to Alpha Gore Index.
• Civility Meter
In the '80's, while serving on a Senate subcommittee before which his wife, Tipper, and James Baker's wife had testified in favor of their campaign to persuade the music industry to voluntarily label their recordings (as the movie industry has long done) to provide a modicum of guidance to parents of young teenagers, he demonstrated uncommon civility by describing  himself to Frank Zappa as a "big fan" of Zappa right after Zappa had just given testimony castigating Tipper and Mrs. Baker for their campaign and casting aspersions on their motives as if they had proposed book-burning.  (Some think his fawning over Zappa gave groveling a bad name.)  Back to Alpha Gore Index.
• Statesmanship Meter
Exhibiting great courage when, as a Senator deciding how to vote on a Senate resolution to approve Bush's plans for the U.S. to lead an unprecedented coaliton in evicting Iraq from Kuwait, he elicited from Bob Dole and then from George Mitchell commitments regarding the amout of time and time-slot each of them respectively would allocate for him to speak on the resolution depending on whether he were to decide to support or oppose it.  Back to Alpha Gore Index.
• Self-Sacrifice Meter
Selflessly abandoning his genuinely admirable family-man role-model image in favor of becoming a highly-skilled toadie enthusiastically supporting Clinton even after it was patently obvious that Clinton had disgraced himself, the Presidency and the Nation.  Back to Alpha Gore Index.

Palindromes: (What's a palindrome?  Visit our  Palindrome Page.)
··
 Sept. 12, 2003:  PoliSat.Com's Political Satire/ Commentary  Daily Update # 01·· ™©·2003 ··

Dud: adieu Gore, rogue-- ID?  a dud..(a palindrome-- i.e. a Gorerog.*)·

Poll agog-- gag as adieu?  Democrats ask same hero, Gore; He masks a star come due-- ID as a gag-- Go gallop-- pull a gag; a gallop as a poll; a gag a Gallup.
····
·*·"Gorerog" is the term I've coined for a palindrome about Al Gore.  Inspired by "news" report that a Zogby poll of "1000 likely voters nationwide" taken for DraftGore.Com from Sept. 5 through 9, 2003, showed a "dead heat" between Al Gore and George Bush.  DraftGore.Com should take a gallop, if not a Gallup.   --Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com.·
Direct link for this Update: · http://polisat.com/du2003/du030930.htm#20030912-01 · ™©2003 .
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Al Gore-- The Enema.
Eg !  All I, voter, got:  Enema from Al Gore-- zero glamor, fame, net ogre to village ! © 2000

Gore's fund-raisers to Gore:
Ye no money,  ye no hero, Gore!  Honey, ye no money!  © 1999

Image-building:
To B.O. re dirt-- said do-da, eh?  No supple hat!  Onset, insomnia! Gore! eeeee! Rogain mos' nites not a help.  Pus on head!  Odd-- I, astride robot. © 1999

.Back to Alpha Gore Index.

.

Canoeing: Giving waste-water management a new meaning:  click here.

Waste-Water Management
OSHA/EPA instructions:  In wasting water to float Gore in a canoe to illustrate commitment to not wasting natural resources, only waste enough to just barely float the canoe so that if the canoe were to overturn, the Secret Service wouldn't need scuba gear to rescue Gore.  .Back to Alpha Gore Index.

Gorenyms

A 1996 Gorenymn-- (A Gorian adaptation of Clintonyms.)
What we thought we heard Gore say in his 1996 Democratic Convention speech:  "After my sister's lung-cancer death, I opposed tobacco for our kids."   But, years after his sister's death, he gave pro-tobacco speeches at political rallies-- So, doesn't that show that he lied in his 1996 speech characterizing his sister's death as a cathartic event changing him from pro-tobacco to anti-tobacco?  Of course not!  We just misled ourselves in 1996 by not listening carefully to his 1996 speech.  What he really said in that speech was:  "After my sister's lung-cancer death, I, uh, posed tobacco for orchids." © 2000

Quotations of the Day

Al Gore on Choice
"I did not have opposing relations with that National Organization of Women." © 2000

Miscellaneous matters regarding Al Gore aka Alpha Gore.

Courage-- Alpha Gore???.
Put aside for a moment your opinion on whether McCain and Bush should have urged South Carolina to remove the Confederate Flag from atop the Capital of South Carolina and instead put it in its proper place in a museum; put aside the continuing silence by Democratic South Carolina Senator Ernest Hollings on the issue; put aside Gore's failure to demand that the current Democratic Governor simply move the flag from atop the Capital and put it in a museum.  Then focus on the statement by Al Gore in which he said the Republican candidates (i.e., McCain and Bush) "didn't have the courage" to urge South Carolina to remove the flag-- then ask yourself whether Al Gore is entitled to lecture John McCain on the subject of courage.  (By the way, I think McCain and Bush should have stated their opinion that the flag should be moved-- indeed, in an interview, George Bush said that if it were in his state, he would oppose flying the Confederate flag over the Texas state capital and McCain implied a similar position.)   (One more by the way:   I am a Southerner.  The flag belongs in a museum focusing on history, not atop a Capital.)  This "no courage" criticism of Bush and McCain by Gore is not just simply below the belt-- it's race-baiting.  
2000-02-25 Daily Update-02 © 2000

Hypocrisy on Parade
In the Gore/Bradley debate this evening (02-21-00), Bradley justifiably confronted Gore with votes he cast between 1979 and 1981 to preserve tax-exempt status for racially-discriminatory colleges.  Gore described those votes as "anti-quota" votes.  Bradley and Gore have castigated George Bush merely for speaking at Bob Jones University without overtly condemning racially and religiously bigoted views by that school's leaders.  But, in the Gore/Bradley debate in the Apollo Theatre tonight, did Bradley or Gore overtly condemn bigoted and inflammatory views expressed by, and actions taken by, Al Sharpton?  Can you say, "No"?  If you can bring yourself to say "No," you'd be right.   Do Bradley's and Gore's  failures to overtly condemn Sharpton's bigoted views and behavior while in a debate before an audience comprised of large numbers of his supporters, whose votes they want, mean that Bradley and Gore share or endorse Sharpton's bigoted views?  If you answer "No" to that question, what's your answer to the question of whether Bush's giving of a speech at Bob Jones University without overtly condemning its leaders crowd constituted an endorsement of that school's bigoted views?.   © 2000
2000-02-21 Daily Update-01  © 2000