Anti-terrorism, remote- sensing techniques for DNA analysis reveal Dick Clarke and Wesley Clark suffer the same congenital malady-- the DNA-CC-MMQ Syndrome.

Mar. 23, 2004: Poli Sat.Com's Political Satire/ Commentary* Daily Update # 01·· ™©·2004·(Home)·
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Anti-terrorism, remote-sensing techniques for DNA analysis reveal Dick Clarke and Wesley Clark suffer the same congenital malady-- the DNA-CC-MMQ Syndrome.·

Cutting-edge, remote-sensing DNA¹ analysis reveals Dick Clarke and Wesley Clark suffer the same congenital malady not previously discovered despite enormous scientific progress since the gene-mapping revelations several years ago by the Human Genome Project. Even more astounding is additional evidence that this congenital malady exhibits a characteristic heretofore unknown to modern science, which is a mechanism for epidemiological transmission to people otherwise not suffering such congenital malady.

Summarized below seriatim are the following categories of information about this startling discovery: (a) symptoms, (b) causes, (c) diagnosis, (d) prognosis and (e) treatment. The final segment (f) describes the ongoing process for classification of the malady and analysis of its unique epidemiological mode of transmission.

(a) Symptoms

Primary among the symptoms is behavior on the part of the victim caustically denigrating whomever he has previously most lavishly praised.

(b) Causes

The congenital DNA² malady generates an irresistible neural craving for a serotonin-induced sense of self-satisfaction following adrenalin-driven clenching of the fist with the index finger being pointed aggressively at whomever may have previously caused the victim to suffer serotonin starvation induced by such other person's failure, or refusal, to share the victim's perception of himself as being able to serve as, or provide, the lynchpin for devising a solution to a critical problem.

Unlike Alzheimer's, one need not wait for a physical autopsy to definitively diagnose this congenital DNA malady; rather, its manifestation is discernible via forensic autopsies. The technical, generic term for the malady is MMQ.³·

(d) Prognosis

Like Alzheimer's, the prognosis for this congenital DNA malady almost always ranges from bad to worse and then to worst, but unlike Alzheimer's, its degenerative course can sometimes be slowed (and, in rare cases, halted) by a radical treatment (described below). However, application of the treatment often has unjustifiably harmful effects on whoever applies it. Absent such treatment, however, the final stages of the malady produces uncontrollable intellectual flatulence.

(e) Treatment

The only known course of treatment, which can sometimes slow (and, in rare cases, halt) the degenerative process is to administrator a therapeutic process providing a specialized form of stimulation the malady induces the victim to crave. The therapy, for which the scientific term is "HOSE-PEW-AWAY-WAR,"** works by stimulating the victim's auditory nerves with particular sounds, hear of which the malady causes the victim to crave.

(f) Classification & Epidemiological Analysis

In seeking to coin a scientifically suitable name for this newly-discovered congenital malady, our experts are torn between two terms: "Clucking Clarks"*** or "Clarking Clucks." Our experts are also tracking the spread of this malady through a heretofore unidentified process they've discovered. In coining a suitable name for this epidemiological phenomenon, they're likewise torn between two terms: Cloning Clarks or Clarking Clones.·

Experts at the CDC**** are at a loss to determine how to effectively combat the spread of the malady, which reaches pandemic proportions in four-year cycles. However, our experts have discovered a way to combat it without the auditory treatment desired by victims: It requires exposing the congenitally-disabled victim to intense application of a small portion of the electromagnetic spectrum known as visible light mixing imagery and symbols to bring the malady to the surface-- i.e., the imagery and text of political satire:

CDC-Mobilization Against the CC-DNA-MMQ Syndrome.·

A syndrome that blocks one's ability
to ever exhibit humility
in weighing one's druthers
against those of others
is DNA-CC Proclivity.

Though Dick spells his Clarke with an "e"
and Wesley spells his without "e,"
the love shown by each
to pompously preach
shows "Clark" DNA called "CC"

Their DNA shares the same part,
"CC," causing "Clucking of Clarks,"
a syndrome producing
an arrogant hooting
at whom they support at the start.

"CC" causes changes in tunes
and changes in how they festoon
political plumage
for self-serving usage
when timing appears opportune.

Anyone reasonably knowledgeable about the "deficiencies" in our system that diminished the chances for our government to detect the 9-11 plot in time to prevent it already understood shortly after 9-11 that the most salient "deficiencies" were: (1) laws previously enacted by Congress creating "stove-pipe" barriers designed to criminalize the sharing of intelligence information between the CIA and the FBI (in order to protect us from becoming a police state); (2) treating efforts to prevent terrorism as a "law-enforcement" mission rather than a warfare mission; (3) being reluctant to sacrifice civil liberties by lowering the threshold for arrest, searches and seizures on the basis of sound law-enforcement hunches. Nevertheless, many have sought to preside over a Department of Hindsight still seek to sanctimoniously imply they would have had the foresight to know what we now know in hindsight. Footnotes follow below:

¹·Dissonant Neural Activity.

²·See footnote 1.

³·Monday Morning Quarterbacking.

**·In layman's terms, "HOSE- PEW-A-WAY-WAR," describes the following auditory stimulation the victim craves hearing: "his opponents saying penitently 'Everyone else was always wrong and you were always right."

***·Poetic license allows me to substitute "Clark" for "Clarke" to show the congenital harmony between Richard Clarke and Wesley Clark.

****·Center for Disingenuousness Contagions.

...
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