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PoliSat Rhymes about...
Energy.
(For rhymes on other topics, go to Index to PoliSat Rhymes)

.
Some sly lion-beardin' by Vik Chernomyrdin (limerick 20001016-01)
    We now know that Vik Chernomyrdin
    saw Gore as a lion for beardin'.
    It seems he was right
    that Gore wouldn't bite
    Iran-helping hands we were fearin'
© 2000 --Inspired by 10-16-00 Washington Times on-line story for 10-17-00 stating that "Vice President Al Gore, at the urging of Russian Prime Minister Viktor Chernomyrdin, agreed to keep secret from Congress details of Russia's nuclear cooperation with Iran beginning in late 1995."

A diet that's balanced keeps Earth in the balance
(and saves fossil fuels to boot) (limerick 20000924-01)
    Al Gore said in Earth in the Balance ...
    that gas should cost two-bucks a gallon,
    so why does he whine
    that prices have climbed
    to merely a buck sixty-seven?
    The answer is reasonably clear: 
    He's up for election this year.
    But what is expected
    if he is elected?
    More taxes per gallon, my dear!
    What need will those new taxes fill?
    Promoting the Al-Gore-Mobile!
    To end oil-dependence
    Al Gore has invented
    a new way to power the wheel !
    Since scientists recently made
    a way to refine human waste,
    the Al-Gore-Mobile
    will power the wheel
    with fuel from humanoid waste.
    This quite inexhaustible source
    will free us from imports, of course !
    And Gore saved the day
    inventing a way
    to use it for horsepower force.
    His car has a tank that will boil it.
    However, one problem might spoil it:
    the method is rank
    for filling the tank:
    The driver's seat must be a toilet.
    For health, this will lead to improvement
    'cause drivers will learn to fine-tune-it
    by eating more grain
    to not have to strain
    to get fifty miles to the movement.
© 2000 -- Inspired by Gore's flip-flop on what he claims is a proper price for gasoline and by a BBC report that scientists have devised a way to refine fossil-fuels from human waste.

The Road to Damascus. (du20000625-01)
    For years we heard Nader and Gore 
    proposing that gas should cost more !
    But now that it's high, 
    they suddenly cry 
    that surely the price should be lower !
    So what is the reason that both  
    now say that the price should be low?
    Of course it is rude 
    for us to conclude 
    they're simply competing for votes. 
© 2000

Gasoline Prices:  Gouging for Votes  ( limericks) (du20000621-01)
    Since gasoline prices have risen, 
    Al Gore takes a puzzling position.
    His book said we need  
    high prices indeed  
    to save us from cars run by pistons.
    Yet now he has started espousing 
    that high prices constitute gouging,
    But it ain't the money, 
    it's who gets it, honey, 
    just "profits" not taxes are "gouging." 
© 2000

Hard-drives found at Los Alamos ( limericks) (du20000616-02)
    Bill Richardson said with relief, 
    the hard-drives are not with a thief.
    He says they were found 
    still-on secure ground, 
    and maybe that is his belief,
    But PoliSat has a good source 
    as good as the mouth of the horse.
    We know they were found 
    on far-away ground:  
    in toilets for tenants of Gore !  
© 2000  --Inspired by:  Fox News report on 06-16-00;  See also WashPost/AP report on 06-16-00.

Los Alamos hard-drives-- 
Where did they go?  ( limericks) (du20000613-01)
    Los Alamos hard-drives are key 
    to stopping a Nuke-'Em-High spree.
    So back in late April, 
    a Richardson cable 
    said keep 'em as safe as can be !
    And what did they see as the danger?  
    A fire set by fed'ral park rangers--
    'Cause ev'ryone knows 
    how strong the wind blows 
    except of course fed'ral park rangers.
    And this gave the scientists jitters '
    cause rangers just care about critters,
    so scientists hired  
    an expert on fire, 
    but sadly he was the low bidder.
    To save things from fire on the way, 
    it's best to just move them away.
    The next best protection 
    is water convection 
    for things that are not moved away.
    And so the low-bidder proposed  
    to use not just one way but both
    for safety through distance 
    and water resistance, 
    he code-named his plan "flush-and-go."
    He stationed a worker beside  
    the room with the hard-drives inside.
    His recommendation 
    required simulation 
    to be sure the drives would survive.
    But on that poor worker's first day, 
    he heard the words "Fire's on the way!"
    He thought it was real 
    and not just a drill, 
    and so he just flushed them away.
    They searched for them thirty-some days 
    'til driven away by a blaze.
    Then there were leaks 
    that prospects were bleak 
    and searchers were panicked and dazed.
    But miracles happen each day, 
    and now all the hard-drives are safe,
    It's hard to believe, 
    but they were retrieved 
    from toilets at Al Gore Estates. 
© 2000

Al Gore's latest invention:   The AlGoreMobile--  Al Gore uses his knowledge of science and politics to invent an innovative, environmentally friendly way to improve transportation while at the same time reducing hazardous dumps, dependence on foreign oil, fossil-fuel depletion,  and poverty.  Al Gore explains (limerick style) the inspiration for his latest invention  (du20000612-01)
    Without even slight condescension, 
    I must say I make good inventions.
    And how do I do it? 
    There ain't nothin' to it, 
    'cause nothin' escapes my attention !
    On learning my tenants' conditions 
    don't satisfy plumbing conventions--
    since each time they flush, 
    they're wading in slush, 
    I thought of a brand-new invention.
    I always stay right up to date 
    on ev'rything science can make
    So I knew of course 
    a new fuel source:  
    We now can refine human waste
    And what gives my Green heart a thrill?
    To get it we don't have to drill
    My tenants can "go," 
    then sell overflow, 
    and soon their accounts will be filled.
    The profit we'll take from the till 
    to make a new automobile
    Then we will hype 
    a new prototype 
    and call it the AlGoreMobile
    This auto will please the whole nation, 
    'cause no one will need service stations,
    And if you ask me  
    just how this can be, 
    I'll give you a quick explanation:
    The obsolete gasoline tank 
    will yield to a nice septic tank,
    and old drivers' seats 
    become toilet seats 
    so drivers can fill their own tanks. 
    Of course there's a need for improvement, 
    and clearly it's in our behoovement
    That models display 
    their mileage CAFE 
    at fifty-six miles to the movement !
    For drivers a danger is plain:  
    To get extra mileage they'll strain.
    To them we'll repeat, 
    just be sure to eat 
    the foods with high fibre and grain.  
© 2000  --Inspiration:  05-20-00 BBC report about scientists having discovered how to convert human waste into fossil fuel and a 06-06-00 FoxNews report about complaints by Gore's Tennessee tennants complaining about toilet backups in Gore's rental property; see also a Weekly Standard article on the same story.)  (See also our 20000531-01 Daily Update and our 20000604-01 Daily Update.

Thomas Crapper's invention paves way for new-century, renewable-energy source.
A limerick inspired by a 05-29-00 BBC report about scientists' discovery of a way to convert human waste into fossil fuel:
    Thank goodness for high-tech improvements 
    to counter the Mother-Earth Movement.
    so we can eschew 
    those S-U-V blues 
    and end pantheistic denouement.
    A quite-recent high-tech advance 
    will counter the Earth-Day demands ...
    that claim it's our fate 
    to cut driving rates 
    by walking on feet and on hands.
    A fuel from human-waste boiling 
    will supersede gassing and oiling.
    A thing that might foil-it 
    or otherwise spoil-it:  
    the driver's seat must be a toilet.
    Of course this creates a behoovement 
    that car-comp'nies strive for improvement,
    But there is good news 
    'cause when this is used, 
    you get fifty-miles to the movement. 
© 2000
(du20000530-01)