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Archives of Daily Updates for March, 2000:.
This page contains Daily Updates for March, 2000. To go to our current Daily Update Page, click here. To go to our Archives of Daily Updates, click here..
2000-03-31 Daily Update-01 © 2000
When Generals Grope Generals (a limerick)
(See 03-31-00 FoxNews report: Gen. Claudia Kennedy says a general groped her)
Each time that a grunt gropes a dame,
his chain of command gets the blame ...
With claims that it shows
they're just not gung-ho
in teaching respect t'wards the dames.
However, it's too much to hope,
when generals by generals are groped
that those who just blame
those high in the chain
will focus on Slick Willie's gropes.
Those same folks had called it a reach,
when Congressmen said, "Let's impeach."
must think it's okay
when gals are impaled by the Chief. © 2000.
2000-03-30 Daily Update-01 © 2000
Nekkid Dancers (03-29-00 Supreme Court ruling upholding ordinance requiring pasties & g-string)
The Supreme Court now says it's too racey
to dance without g-string and pasties.
Put pasties on top
and cover that spot
and now you are dressed like a lady
2000-03-29 Daily Update-01 © 2000
Prominent law-breaker urges others to obey the law re Elian Gonzales on 03-29-00.
To those helping Elian Gonzales,
Bill Clinton proclaimed, "Don't be lawless."
Of course that is right,
but in his own plight,
he knowingly testified falsely
2000-03-28 Daily Update-01 © 2000
Campaign Finance "Reform" to protect "ordinary" Americans from the "special interests" of wealthy fat-cats:
If contributions by "wealthy fat-cats" constitute "special interests" harming "ordinary" people, how come the current tax laws force the top 5% of income earners to pay more than 50% of the government's income-tax revenue? How come those "ordinary" Americans in the bottom 50% income-level pay less than 5% of the total income-tax revenue? The real "special interests" are those "ordinary" Americans paying less than 5% of the income taxes continuing to vote for politicians promising to have the government give them more by taking more from the "wealthy fat-cats" supposedly "controlling" the politicians. Such patently Orwellian language could only be understood on the Animal Farm. © 2000
2000-03-27 Daily Update- 01 © 2000
Let Me Into the Gold Rush (tune of Take Me Out to the Ball Game) (Re: multi-million-dollars punitive-damages award against "Big Tobacco"-- FoxNews 03-27-00)
Let me into the Gold Rush,
I can claim victimhood
I shouldn't have to use common sense,
just give me all those dollars and cents
So it's sue, sue, sue Big Tobacco,
if I don't win it's a shame
And just give those big-bucks to me,
I accept no blame.
2000-03-26 Daily Update-01 © 2000
Coming Tonight: The Animal-Farm Awards..
What a paradox is the entertainment industry. The dominant figures in the entertainment industry ("super-stars," producers, directors, and investors) are among the most successful capitalists in the world, yet the cultural, political and economic views they promote are so starkly statist and anti-capitalistic. Today, it will be almost impossible to find any "news" program not focusing on speculations and stories about the Academy Awards as though such event were important. Unfortunately, the fact that such an overwhelming majority of people are so enthralled by such frivolity is what creates the artificial "importance" of such event. Driven by an almost desperate craving to somehow "connect" with those who have the power of celebrity, millions upon millions of people will worship at this false altar and unwittingly pay homage to the predictable anti-capitalist drivel that will be purveyed by the those highly-successful capitalists in the entertainment industry. Whenever such entertainment figures spout their standard, cliché-filled anti-capitalist drivel, why don't at least some in the "news" media ask them to explain why a system that gives them high rewards for high risks shouldn't apply equally to ordinary people, other businesses and corporate investors in general? Why is it that in the entertainment lexicon, "profit" is a dirty word only when it applies to any non-entertainment industry while it is the holy grail within the entertainment industry? The answer is clear: The entertainment industry is the real-life embodiment of Animal Farm and the real "iron triangle" is Hollywood, New York and Washington, D.C.. I will cast my vote against such nonsense by refusing to watch the entertainment industry's self-indulgent, self-congratulatory drivel. © 2000.
2000-03-25 Daily Update-01 © 2000
Worship of Celebrity/Notoriety.
The networks and programs for "news"
treat Oscar predictions as "news"
with stories about
the folks who camped-out
to see "stars" from sidewalks as pews.
The networks exhibit disdain
for news and instead entertain
'cause fluff gets the ratings
and news gets berating--
the viewers are whom we must blame.
2000-03-24 Daily Update-02 © 2000
Reform Party has gone to the Moon
Remember the Ralph Kramden tune--
that Alice he'd send to the Moon?
Like those Honeymooners,
have certainly gone to the Moon.
'Cause they couldn't learn how to play,
they went to the Moon, Norman K.
Although he is bright,
he can't stop their fight,
'cause "uncle" they can't learn to say.
© 2000 (Editor's Note: For those who don't know, the name of the Federal Judge deciding the dispute over who controls the Reform Party is Norman K. Moon.)
2000-03-24 Daily Update-01 © 2000
Boomers made the crude and the rude ....
socially acceptable (A limerick.)
Before Boomers came to the fore,
crude language was widely deplored.
'Though crude words were said,
'twas private instead
'cause publicly it was abhorred.
Then self-centered Boomers arrived
(including this writer of rhymes).
The song we did sing
was "Do Your Own Thing"
and acted like crudeness was fine.
It's clear that we should have known better,
and been more polite like our elders.
We hope that it ain't
too late for restraint
and know we must try to do better.
© 2000. (Inspired by an article by Ray McCallister.)
2000-03-23 Daily Update-01 © 2000
White House computers programmed for Clintonizing
That White House computers had "lost"
those emails concerning the boss ...
is not so surprising--
it's just "Clintonizing":
a program with trap-doors like DOSS.
2000-03-22 Daily Update-01 © 2000
PeTA abandons "Got Beer" campaign.
Under pressure from MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Driving), PeTA abandoned it's "Got Beer" campaign against the udder cruelty of the dairy industry. For more information, click here.
2000-03-21 Daily Update-02 © 2000
Quick! Send Joe Camel back to the graveyard, but send the Budweiser Frogs & Lizards to the same graveyard.
Today the Supreme Court decided that the regulatory power previously granted by Congress to the FDA was not broad enough to permit the FDA to regulate tobacco. Before the ink had even dried on that opinion, John McCain, Henry Waxman and Richard Gephardt were expressing their intentions to propose legislation to confer such power on the FDA. Thus, "The War Against Tobacco" (TWAT) resumes at full intensity from the real "iron triangle": (a) the Trial Lawyers, (b) nanny-government bureaucrats, and (3) legislators luxuriating in the lap of Big Beer (i.e., McCain and Gephardt).
Anyone with even a modicum of common sense knows that in comparison to the modestly lower statistical life-expectancy among those who smoke for many decades, the misuse of alcoholic beverages ruins far more lives, leads to the premature ending of far more life-spans (i.e., deaths in drunk-driving accidents, criminal assaults in alcohol-induced stupors, spousal and child abuse in alcohol-induced stupors, etc.), and has a far more deadly "second-hand" effect (i.e., deaths of non-drinking pesons in drunk driving accidents and non-drinking victims of criminal activity committed by persons in an alcoholic stupor) than the combined "evils" of tobacco. (Never mind that recent studies indicate nicotine can be effective against brain disorders such as Parkinson's, Terrette's (sp?) Syndrome and Alzheimers.)
Therefore, if those preparing to propose legislation to send "Joe Camel" to the graveyard by empowering the FDA to "regulate" tobacco are really concerned about "the children" and the shortening of life-expectancies, they will also include provisions to ban Budweiser's use of its animated frogs and lizards and all other beer commercials using humor or other techniques to captivate the interests of minors and will also empower the FDA to "regulate" alcoholic beverages. Indeed, given the massive scale on which the misuse of alcohol ruins lives, ends countless lives prematurely, and otherwise destroys families, friendships and employment relationships, that law should also empower the FDA to impose a 24-hour "background" check for any purchase of any alcoholic beverage to prevent such purchase by anyone with a criminal record, a drunk-driving record, or any record of domestic violence or child neglect. Surely such a background check would be a minor inconvenience to law-abiding citizens who consume alcoholic beverages responsibly. Such legislation should also require the FDA to develop and impose standards prohibiting the sale of any alcoholic beverage in any container that's not "child-proof" (as has been done for cigarette lighters and prescription-medicine containers).
Look out "Big Mayonaise"--You're next: Next, our noble legislators determined to save us all from our own poor judgment should direct their crusading skills against Big Mayonnaise, Big Beef, Big Bacon, Big Sausage, Big Chicken, Big Butter, Big Candy, Big Caffeine, Big Junk Food, Big Macs, Big Milk, Big Cheese, Big Shrimp (especially Jumbo Shrimp), Big Pork, Big Ham, Big Sugar, Big Egg, Big Potato Chips, Big Popcorn, etc., etc. etc. (as Ross Perot is wont to say). At the end of such noble crusade, our lives will be so miserably dull, we'll all wish for shorter life-spans. © 2000
2000-03-21 Daily Update-01 © 2000
Cheats & Chung or Gore heeeaaaarrrrssss Johnny ! (re: In-White-House Solicitations)
In raising more funds by the ton
by on-fed'ral-property duns,
controlling authority did not apply to me ...
because I was dialing for funds.
But now there's a claim by John Chung
that I made some in-White-House duns.
I fear that I can't
make-up a new chant
refuting the claims of John Chung.
And since there's no way to dodge blame,
I must try to minimize shame.
I'll try to sound stern
and claim that I've learned
from errors just like John McCain
2000-03-20 Daily Update-01 No update today.
2000-03-19 Daily Update-01 © 2000
Tim, you can do better !.
It's true Russert often does strive
for fairness to opposite sides,
But sometimes his views
on things in the news
show favor to his favorite side.
2000-03-18 Daily Update-01 © 2000
Wayne LaPierre's harsh rhetoric against Clinton & Gore.
Those harsh words from Wayne LaPierre
described by the press as unfair ...
Were almost as mean
as tactics we've seen
by Clinton and his buddy Al.
The record of Clinton and Gore
shows often they said worse and more.
Each time someone dies
from gunfire they cry,
"NRA would just tolerate more."
2000-03-17 Daily Update-01 © 2000
Buchannan's latest tirade.
Buchannan the ex-talking head
says the "Party of Reagan is Dead."
But who was the tool
in the year ninety-two
who made many voters afraid?
The man who quite harshly implored
his party to wage cul'tral war ...
was none other than
Buchannan the man
who scared many folks from the door.
The Gipper encouraged inclusion
promoting not fission but fusion.
The song that Pat sung
was "my way or none"
engendering fears of exclusion.
And what did we get from such show?
By now even dumb-dumbs must know.
His fiery renditions
just gave us Bill Clinton
by driving a lot to Perot.
And now his campaign for "Reform"
will give us four years of Al Gore.
It's just such a shame
that he, like McCain,
says "My way or get out the door"
2000-03-16 Daily Update-01 © 2000
What if McCain/Feingold were already the law?.
Most who want campaign "reform"
don't know how it would change the norm.
They don't understand
its terms or its plans--
on that they are quite uninformed.
They think it will only impose
restrictions on those they oppose.
They don't understand
that all through the land
such laws won't just silence their foes.
But we who have read them, you see,
have learned what effects there would be:
They won't just impose
restrictions on foes--
they'll also restrict you and me !
But those who don't try to keep up
are likely to mutter "So what?"
They won't be concerned
'til too late they learn
such laws can force them to shut up !
When candidates say things misleading
to those who don't spend much time reading,
there will be no PACs
to show the real facts
to those who decide without thinking.
2000-03-15 Daily Update-01 © 2000
Media love affair with campaign finance "reform".
Why do the media adore
proposals for campaign reform?
It ain't rocket science--
they just want compliance
with their view of what is the norm
2000-03-14 Daily Update-02 © 2000
Gore's Plea for Help: "Please! Stop me before I violate campaign-laws again !".
Like a serial killer in a bad movie leaving scene-of-the-crime messages to police begging them to stop him before he kills again, poor Al Gore keeps sending messages to voters to adopt anti-free-speech campaign-finance "reform" to stop him before he violates existing campaign-finance laws again.© 2000
2000-03-14 Daily Update-01 © 2000
Gun control; alcohol control; illegal-drug control.
A much larger percentage of alcoholic-beverage purchasers misuse that product in a way that's self-destructive or harmful to others than the percentage of gun-owners who use guns to harm others. Virtually all instances of spousal abuse, child abuse, date-rape and drunk driving and an overwhelming majority of violent crimes are products of the misuse of alcohol. Therefore, politicians who are not prisoners of "Big Alcohol" should immediately propose legislation to require a three-day background check for the purchase of any alcoholic beverage by anyone. This would, of course, be no greater inconvenience for responsible alcoholic-beverage consumers than the inconvenience of subjecting all gun-purchasers to such background checks. Of course, politicians who genuinely "care" about preventing illegal-drug addiction should also pass a law making it a criminal offense for any illegal-drug dealer to sell an illegal drug to anyone without first performing a three-day background check on the junkie desiring to buy the illegal drug. Surely it would reduce the incidence of crack addiction if a law were passed to require every crack dealer to perform a three-day background check before selling crack to a customer. © 2000
2000-03-13 Daily Update-01 © 2000
Gore, defender of the Zipper, now tries to impersonate the Gipper.
A shameless campaigner named Gore
now mimics the Gipper of yore:
with hairdo retread
and tilting his head,
he tries to invoke Gipper's lore.
Subliminal efforts like that
make fiction seem like it's a fact,
but sooner or later
while playing debater
his scheme will become his own trap.
His mimicking Reagan that way
will give Bush a good chance to say:
"Your hairdo retread
and tilting your head
don't equal his good-natured way"
"You mimic the style of the Gipper
with help from Naomi and Tipper."
"I knew Reagan then;
he was my good friend,
and Gore, you are surely no Gipper."
2000-03-12 Daily Update-01 © 2000
A day of rest.
2000-03-10 Daily Update-01 © 2000
Absurdity of Gore's efforts to equate himself with McCain on Campaign Finance "Reform".
Gore's efforts on 03-09-00 to equate himself with John McCain on the issue of campaign finance "reform" were ludicrous. In response to questions about Gore's obvious involvement in the Buddhist Temple fundraising scandal in which Gore's fundraiser, Ms. Hsia, was convicted on five felony counts for money-laundering for Gore at the Temple, Gore evaded the question by saying, "Like John McCain, I've learned from my mistakes [and that's why] I'm for campaign-finance reform." However, unlike McCain, who had the courage to admit his mistakes in joining the efforts of Democrats to help Charles Keating, Gore has engaged in a cover-up of his involvement in the Buddhist Temple affair. Thus, Gore is demonstrably unworthy to try to clothe himself in John McCain's "I've learned from my mistakes" aura. © 2000
2000-03-09 Daily Update-01 © 2000
Losing without grace.
There was a campaigner who lost,
then gave the cold shoulder with frost
to those he'd opposed
and punched in the nose
and said, "Without me, you are lost."
This turns all the rules upside down
and says that who's up must be down.
It may seem bizarre
but now it is par
for losers to exit with frowns.
2000-03-08 Daily Update-01 © 2000
Timely update prevented by failure of Quest equipment serving our host.
2000-03-07 Daily Update-01 © 2000
Lessons from Iowa to Super Tuesday
What lessons can be learned from Iowa through Super Tuesday?
1. Money may be necessary but it's not sufficient absent a message acceptable to the electorate. Ask Steve Forbes.
2. Being a favorite of, or being portrayed favorably by, the media would be sufficient absent adversaries possessing sufficient money to procure media time to offset effects of media favoritism. Ask John McCain.
3. Reliance upon intellectual curiosity among voters to inform themselves about the positions of candidates across the entire spectrum of issues by listening to debates, reading the newspapers, and otherwise "keeping up" with the news, social issues and political issues out of a sense of civic-minded duty is patently insufficient. Ask Bill Bradley.
4. Role-playing, stressing "hot-button" issues, and outright lying is sufficient when one's opponent limits his strategy to #3 is sufficient to achieve victory over such opponent even when he has as much, if not more, money. Ask Al Gore.
5. When attacked by an opponent using tactics impugning one's motives and/or integrity (i.e., favoring tax cuts to "benefit the rich"), one must respond in kind and aggressively-- otherwise, one will be defined by caricature. Ask George W. Bush.
2000-03-06 Daily Update-01 © 2000
Polisat goes out on a limb in predicting Super-Tuesday results:
Who will win in the Super Tuesday Primaries tomorrow?..
2000-03-05 Daily Update-01 © 2000
No update today.
2000-03-04 Daily Update-01 © 2000
Bush sings "Star Spangled Banana Peel" to McCain about McCain's "anti-pork votes"
2000-03-03 Daily Update-01 © 2000
Can't we just all emote along?
(Can't we just all stop thinking?)
Each time a heart-wrenching tragedy occurs, some of us tend to reflexively apply a thought process to determine whether there exists the possibility of preventative or remedial measures offering reasonable prospects of effectiveness without infringing on constitutional guarantees of liberty. Those of us who succumb to this temptation to think now finally realize how utterly foolish it is to do so. We now realize that instead of engaging in such pointless thought processes, we should just embrace whatever seems to be the most emotionally satisfying proposal for imposing further restrictions on the entirety of society to prevent or remedy any such tragedy regardless of how isolated or rare it may be in a nation of nearly 300 million people and regardless of whether such proposal has any realistic chance of being effective. © 2000
2000-03-02 Daily Update-01 © 2000
2000-03-01 Daily Update-01.© 2000
How McCain could "straight-talk" his way to the nomination and to the presidency:.
Polisat's proposal that McCain, an indisputably admirable hero, adopt the following "straight-talk" based on a more objective self-assessment that he's displayed thus far:
tried to make a virtue of my willingness to admit my own mistakes, I acknowledge
that I was wrong to permit my campaign to conduct a phone-campaign misleadingly
identified as a "Catholic Voter Alert" accusing Bush of being tolerant
of the anti-Catholic views of Bob Jones. I now realize that Bush's failure
to expressly castigate Bob Jones University's anti-Catholic bigotry no more
constituted an implied tolerance of such bigotry than his failure to castigate
Bob Jones' demonization of President Bush constituted implied tolerance of such
demonization of George W. Bush's own father.
2. Admission re Campaign Finance "Reform":..Knowing that I had used bad judgment by becoming involved in a situation creating an appearance of undue influence in the Keating Five "scandal," I realized that that the only way I could inoculate myself from unfair criticism for such conduct would be to "admit" my errors in judgment and advocate a type of campaign finance "reform" that would be worshipped by the dominant media and thereby guarantee me almost limitless "free" publicity and favorable treatment by the media to enable me to gain the nomination as a "reformer." I now recognize that my lingering, but unjustified, feelings of guilt in the wake of the Keating Five scandal-- in which real wrongdoing was done only by other Senators-- caused me to lose my objectivity on the subject of campaign finance "reform" and blinded me to the fact that such proposals would violate our Constitutional guarantees of free speech and free association. Therefore, in the spirit of my demonstrated willingness to admit my own mistakes, I hereby withdraw my support for McCain/Feingold and will protect the First Amendment "to my last breath" by advocating repeal of the existing, Byzantine campaign-finance regulatory scheme that makes it necessary for any citizen desiring to engage in serious and effective political advocacy to engage the services of a $500/hour lawyer to try to avoid the risk of criminal prosecution for political-advocacy activities.
3. Tax Reform:..Despite the fact that I "virulently opposed" Clinton's 1993 soak-the-"rich" tax increase (which opposition I only recently reaffirmed while being interviewed by Sam Donaldson on ABC on 02-06-00), I used the standard, socialistic, class-warfare language I knew to be loved by the dominant media to unfairly characterize Bush's proposal to reverse that tax increase (while also providing substantial relief to lower-income taxpayers) as "benefits for the rich." Having regained my objectivity, I now see the merit of an even better proposal than that advocated by Bush: I will propose the tax-reform plan recommended by Richard Lugar during his short-lived campaign for the nomination in 1996: Repeal the income tax and replace it with a national sales tax exempting food, medicine, housing and legal services. (I would also exempt fees charged by companies providing access to the internet.) This would make all our exports instantly more competitive abroad by removing from our companies' prices in foreign markets the price-inflation factor caused by such companies having to keep their prices high enough to make a profit large enough to pay income tax and still have enough profit left over to reward investors and stockholders. It would also protect our industries marketing their products overseas from other countries' ability to erect trade barriers against any tax-law adjustment to minimize the adverse effects of our current income-tax system on the competitiveness of our products in foreign markets.
4. Anti-Tobacco Zealotry:...polisat has effectively demonstrated that my wife's ownership interests in a large Budweiser Beer distributorship had blinded me to the fact that there is utterly no meaningful distinction between the effects on children by Budweiser's commercials using animated Frogs and Lizards and the alleged effect on children by "Joe Camel," who was never even depicted in television commercials at all-- much less the Super Bowl and numerous other sporting events popular among pre-teens as well as teens as has been the case with the ubiquitous television commercials featuring the Budweiser Frogs and Lizards and animated beer-bottles "playing football" during commercial breaks in sporting events. I now recognize that it has been just as unfair to characterize the "Big Tobacco" executives as people who've "poisoned and addicted our children" as it would be to similarly characterize Big Beer executives (and owners of Big-Beer distributorships) as being directly responsible for the massive carnage occurring each year on the highways by youthful drunk driving and for countless teenagers being lured into drinking with significant numbers of them becoming "hooked" on drinking and eventually becoming alcoholics. I've also come to understand that the annual carnage attributed to drunk-driving, spousal abuse occurring during drunkenness, and other criminal activity during drunkenness eliminates more life-time years annually than the old-age lifetime years deemed by statistical analysis to be eliminated by slightly lowering the average life-expectancy among those smoking heavily for 30 years or more. I also now realize that the statistically-alleged "harmful" effect of "second-hand smoke" pales in comparison to the empirically demonstrable, immediately-lethal "second-hand" effects of drunk driving. I also realize that to continue the anti-tobacco crusade would be to take us further down the slippery slope leading inevitably to governmental sanctions against, and demonization of, any product or service presenting the user with any statistical risk of harm or death -- i.e., bacon, eggs, sausage, red meat, mayonnaise, snow-skiing, sky-diving, SUV driving, snow-mobiling, motorcycle-riding, youth sports involving dangerous activity (e.g., hardball, head-banging in soccer, ice-hockey, field hockey, lacrosse), and any other product or service that my become politically incorrect among pantheopians (i.e., those who worship nature over mankind)... etc. © 2000
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