On CBS News 60 Minutes, Dan Rather reveals identity of "Deep Threat," an "unimpeachable source" revealing that George W. Bush-- not CBS-- fired Rather's underlings for bogus National Guard "report."

Feb. 27, 2005--

On CBS News 60 Minutes, Dan Rather reveals identity of "Deep Threat," an "unimpeachable source" revealing that George W. Bush-- not CBS-- fired Rather's underlings for bogus National Guard "report."

Today, Dan Rather and CBS News' 60 Minutes stunned the world by revealing the identity of what was until now Rather's most closely guarded secret-- the "unimpeachable source" for the bogus news reports about George W. Bush's service in the Texas Air National Guard. That same source is now prepared to reveal that Bush, rather than CBS, fired Rather's underlings, whom Rather had previously blamed for flaws in what Rather tenaciously described as a "true" report based on fraudulent documents.

A stunned world listened as Rather explained that the source was a former high-level intelligence official whom until now Rather had only been able to identify as "Deep Threat." The source, also known as "Mr. Blue Eyes," inadvertently exposed himself during a press conference in the Slavic Republic in response to a staged question designed to enable him to equate CBS's firing of Rather's underlings with Putin's jailing of Russian news executives who refused to tout Putin's party line during Putin's last campaign. Knowledgeable internationalists assert that the person identified by Rather as "Deep Threat" bears a striking resemblance to Vladimir Putin, but Rather would only say that he has "unimpeachable evidence" that "Deep Threat" is a "highly reliable source" for whom even George Bush vouched as a person "who says what he means and means what he says."

In a later confrontation with a Western reporter, Vladimir Putin denied that he was Dan Rather's "Deep Threat" source, but he insisted that George Bush, rather than CBS, actually controls CBS and that Karl Rove is its secret CEO. According to Putin, this is how Rove manipulated CBS News into helping re-elect Bush by broadcasting the bogus "news" report disparaging Bush's National Guard Service. Finally, Putin told the reporters that his policies toward the press are identical to those adopted by Thomas Jefferson in his political battles with the Federalists for spreading the false rumors that Jefferson had slept in more beds than Washington and that, therefore, he, rather than Washington, deserved the title "Father" of his country. "Here, here," said Rather.

--Jim Wrenn, Editor at PoliSat.Com.

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Feb. 27, 2005 #01 Daily Update at PoliSat.Com, where satire is always commentary, but commentary isn't always satire.™