October 9, 2004:

After Town Hall Debate George Bush belatedly admits "three mistakes" as requested by questioner in second Bush-Kerry Debate--  John Kerry lauds media's objective response.

            George Bush shocked everyone today by belatedly answering the final question selected for him by Charles Gibson in last night's debate.  Pursuant to ABC NEWS Political Director Mark Halperin's pre-debate memo, Gibson selected a semi-friendly "hostile" for John Kerry as the first question to Kerry  (i.e., a lady asking Kerry to help her make her co-workers understand that he's not "wishy-washy") and, a presumption-of-guilty hostile question for Bush to be the final question to him:  "Tell us three mistakes you made [so your answers can be used as sound-bites by the Kerry campaign]."

            Not surprisingly, Bush declined the invitation to provide a sound-bite for a Kerry-Campaign commercial.  However, on further reflection today, Bush decided to be straight with the American people by identifying what he considers in retrospect to have been his three biggest mistakes.  Here's the transcript of his statement:

Last night, the last question to me in the debate came from a lady with only the best for me in her heart.  She asked me to explain "three mistakes" I made as Commander in Chief.  Having decided (after sleeping on the matter) that I really should have answered her question, I've called this press-conference to do it now.  Better late than never.  Here are the three biggest mistakes I made as Commander in Chief:

(1)  My first mistake:  In negotiations for passing and enforcing  the U.N. Security Council resolution unanimously demanding that Saddam Hussein promptly comply with all prior U.N. resolutions, I made the mistake of taking the word of the French given to Colin Powell and me that they would support, rather than oppose, using force if Saddam Hussein were to fail to comply promptly and fully.

(2)  My second mistake:  While negotiating with the U.N. Security Council, I made the mistake of failing to understand how the Axis of Weasels, masquerading as our "allies" on the Security Counsel favoring enforcement of sanctions against Saddam, were instead accepting Oil-For-Food bribes from Saddam Hussein to sabotage our efforts to enforce U.N. sanctions.

(3)  My third, and least defensible, mistake:  I assumed that our distinguished Senators, such as Kerry and Edwards, would not try to weasel out of their votes by which they authorized the use of force if Saddam Hussein were to fail to promptly and fully comply with the U.N. Security Council Resolutions regardless of politics and no matter what else Saddam might try to do to avoid compliance. 

            Feeling confident that these admissions of mistakes would not likely appear in Kerry Campaign commercials, the Bush Campaign strategists congratulated themselves until they saw the reports of this press conference on NBC and MSNBC as edited by Brian Williams and Chris Matthews, with a special introduction by Dan Rather and Mark Halperin.  Here's the transcript:

Hi, I'm Dan Rather.  And I'm Mark Halperin.  As everyone with a sophisticated view of the world surely understands, the Bush Campaign has told many, many, many, many more lies than has the Kerry Campaign, so it's our job as the "news" media to provide "balance."  Therefore, we proudly introduce Christ Matthews and Brian Williams to report to you the three colossal mistakes that George Bush belatedly admitted today under intense political pressure after he "stonewalled" the final questioner in the debate last night, who innocently asked him to list "three mistakes" he made as "Commander in Chief."

Hi, I'm Chris Matthews.  And I'm Brian Williams.  We're here to read to the three colossal mistakes that George Bush just admitted having made as Commander in Chief:

(1)  My first mistake:  In ... enforcing the U.N. Security Council resolution unanimously demanding that Saddam Hussein promptly comply with all prior U.N. resolutions, I made the mistake of ... using force....

(2)  My second mistake:  While negotiating with the U.N. Security Council, I made the mistake of failing to understand ... our allies on the Security Counsel favoring enforcement of sanctions against Saddam.....

(3)  My third, and least defensible, mistake:  I assumed that our distinguished Senators ... authorized the use of force ... no matter what .... 

Matthews:  "Brian, this is really incredible, isn't it."  Williams:  "Yeah, Chris-- I don't think this will play too well with the NASCAR Dads, not to mention the Soccer Moms, the Ice Hockey Aunts, the Grocery Store Cousins, the Farming Families, MetroSexuals, the Savvy Suburbanites, and the Urbane Urbanites."  Matthews:  "You said it, Brian.  Back to you, Mark and Dan."  Mark:  "Amen."  Dan:  "Amen, brother."

            PoliSat.Com's Washington Bureau Drawer Chief has learned that this "Halperin, Rather, Matthews, & Williams Report" will soon be appearing frequently in Kerry Campaign commercials in the battleground states from now until the election.  It's designed to fit precisely within the portion of time being used in current commercials for John Kerry to complain that "George Bush refuses to admit a mistake."  

            Soon after this media event, Kerry appeared to congratulate Halperin, Rather, Matthews and Williams for their great investigative reporting, rivaled only by the Matthews/Williams "expose" of "self-contradictions" by Dick Cheney (here).  When one reporter from the FlyOver Country Gazette timidly asked Kerry why he had refused thus far to characterize his 1971 slander of the American military as a big mistake, he angrily replied, "Stop questioning my patriotism for condemning the American military for waging a war I initially supported!"

--Jim Wrenn,  Editor at PoliSat.Com

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