Al-Jazeera loses position as leading source of anti-Bush propaganda to American-based competitors, Al-GorZero and Al-JaTeddya; prisoner-abuse at Abu-Ghraib in Iraq; John Kerry's silence says "thanks for the cover" to Al Gore and Ted Kennedy for eclipsing Al-Jazeera.

May 26, 2004 #01: Political Satire/Commentary where satire is always commentary but commentary isn't always satire™
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Al-Jazeera loses position as leading source of anti-Bush propaganda to American-based competitors, Al-GorZero and Al-JaTeddya; prisoner-abuse at Abu-Ghraib in Iraq; John Kerry's silence says "thanks for the cover" to Al Gore and Ted Kennedy for eclipsing Al-Jazeera.·

A top Al-Jazeera executive expressed alarm that his network has lost its position as the leading source of anti-Bush propaganda to American-based competitors Al-GorZero and Al-JaTeddya. The executive, who insisted on anonymity, made this statement to PoliSat.Com's Middle-East Bureau Drawer Chief. He said that SpielSome Ratings (the Middle East counterpart of the Nielsen Ratings), a majority of the news audience in the Middle East now rates information from Al-Jazeera as being a less-reliable source of anti-American propaganda than the American-based Al-GorZero and Al-JaTeddya.

When asked what could be the cause of this trend, the Al-Jazeera executive offered a surprisingly candid assessment: "Although both Al-GorZero and Al-JaTeddya have been gaining on us for quite a while, they didn't pass us until they began focusing on reports of prisoner-abuse at Abu-Ghraib. What seems to have propelled them ahead of us were their assertions that such abuse constituted official American policy from the top-down rather than aberrational misconduct at lower levels." He added, "Our criticisms of the Americans were, of course, quite harsh, and although we did make token efforts to liken the abuses to those under Saddam Hussein, we knew that most of our listeners would construe such comparisons as metaphorical overstatements, but the status of Al-GorZero and Al-JaTeddya as American sources equating abuses of prisoners by Americans with torture inflicted under Saddam Hussein conferred greater credibility upon such claims."

When asked how Al-Jazeera plans to regain the lead, he said, "We have a plan that will quickly restore our rightful place as the worldwide leader of Anti-American propaganda." He asked, "Remember 'Wag the Dog'?" Then he explained that Al-Jazeera now has the production skills to do the same. He said that soon Al Jazeera will feature what will appear to be pictures of George Bush and Donald Rumsfeld riding the backs of naked prisoners being led on leashes by Private England. Another fake video will appear to show Bush and Rumsfeld conferring with Extra-Terrestrial Aliens to coordinate UFO flights over Iran and Iraq.

"But those fake tapes alone won't be enough," he added. "We must also discredit Al-GorZero and Al-JaTeddya to regain our audience. When asked how Al-Jazeera would do that, he said they would begin broadcasting video tapes of speeches made by Ted Kennedy and Al Gore during the Clinton Administration describing Saddam Hussein as a threat to the region, to the United States and to world peace, describing the dangerous scope of his stockpiles of weapons of mass destruction and propensity to use them, and asserting the need for the United States to topple his regime.

Meanwhile, controversy continued to rage in the United States over recent speeches by Al Gore and Ted Kennedy attempting to out-Al-Jazeera Al-Jazeera. Although many politicians expressed disgust at their statements equating American "policy" with Saddam Hussein's policy of cutting-off political opponents' tongues, ears, and hands, John Kerry remained silent about their statements. Unanswered is the question of whether such silence can be construed other than as tacit approval.

Al-GorZero Eclipses Al-Jazeera.

With scowls practiced well in the mirror
and screams beating Dean's I draw nearer
to gaining the lead
in venomous screeds--
Already, I've passed Al-Jazeera.

Proclaiming my goal is to lower
the risk in Iraq to our soldiers,
I labeled abuse
of pris'ners by few
as widespread techniques by our soldiers.

So what if my words over-state
abuses inside Abu-Ghraib?
And, further, so what
if poses I strut
make more soldiers targets of hate?

To prove to the Left I'm as steady
in hatred for Dubya as Teddy,
conjoined I became
with Ted to defame
the Dubya for John as his mesne.¹

Kerry's Mute Salute.

In order to seem more astute,
my thanks must, of course, remain mute
to Albert and Ted
conjoined with my head
for slanders I dare not salute.

--Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com.

¹ "Mesne" (mez-ne) is legal jargon for "Middle; intervening; as, a mesne lord, that is, a lord who holds land of a superior, but grants a part of it to another person, in which case he is a tenant to the superior, but lord or superior to the second grantee, and hence is called the mesne lord."

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