Toyota's introduction of humanoid robot able to walk and play trumpet prompts inquiry by famous politician.

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Mar. 11, 2004 : Poli Sat.Com's Political Satire/ Commentary* Daily Update # 01·· ™©·2004·(Home)·
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Toyota's introduction of humanoid robot able to walk and play trumpet prompts inquiry by famous politician.·

Today Toyota became the second Japanese automaker to introduce a humanoid robot with remarkable skills. Not only can the robot walk, wave its arms and bow, but the yet-to-be-named "Toyota Partner Robot" (depicted here and illustrated here) is also equipped with artificial lungs, lips and fingers enabling it to play the trumpet. It rivals two other Japanese-made humanoid robots. One is Sony's humanoid robot, named "Orio," that can run, which Sony unveiled last year. Another is Honda's humanoid robot, Asimo (introduced by Honda in 2002), which can walk, ascend and descend stairs, wave, answer simple questions and dance to music.

This high-tech triple by Japan has American manufacturers worried a growing technology gap. Japan is quickly becoming the world leader in long-range research and development of humanoid robots capable of performing human tasks. Toyota classifies this latest series as being prototypes to serve as "partners" to assist the elderly and perform menial chores. Both Honda and Toyota have long range plans for humanoid robots to perform tasks that are dangerous to humans. The Honda robot has a limited vocabulary and can recognize faces, but the one with "soul" is the just-introduced Toyota robot able to play the trumpet with artificial lungs, lips and fingers while "swaying" to the music in the style of Louis Armstrong.

A number of American politicians quickly sought to determine whether American robotics companies have equally impressive prototypes ready for unveiling. Rumors quickly spread that one was recently seen exhibiting the capacity to stand, wave its arms and display oratorical skills seeming almost human, but further investigation revealed such reports were based on observations of news-clips of Al Gore making his most recent, Elmer-Gantry-like speech accusing Bush of "betraying" the country.

Calls also flooded-in to Toyota from politicians expressing concern that such robots would create cheap-labor competition to human workers. To emphasize that not all contacts from politicians were so negative, Toyota proudly asserted it had received a favorable inquiry from a former political leader (whom Toyota declined to identify) known to be skilled as a musician and knowledgeable about the advantages and disadvantages of a wind instrument. However, PoliSat.Com has learned more about this report from its usual, highly unreliable sources:

Robotic Music & Harmonic Wind.·

Toyota's announced the existence
of humanoid robot assistants
so eager to please,
they're destined to be
Toyota's pies de resistance.

The "Partner" robotics include
a lung through which air they extrude,
whose fingers and lips,
while swaying their hips,
can blow through a trumpet a tune.

On learning the name had been censored
as who by the robot was mentored,
an order came in
from Bubba to send
a "Partner" to work as his intern.

Said Clinton, a saxophone player,
"To have such robot I'd savor,
although I would favor
a robot enabled
as multiple-instrument player."

"Such rumors," said Bill, "make me so hot,
and why people spread 'em, I know-not,
but yet I'm inclined
to say one more time
I didn't duet with that robot."

Although PoliSat.Com was unable to reach Clinton, a horde of reporters began hounding him about this story. Finally, out of apparent frustration, Clinton called a press conference before a group of MTV reporters, at which he solemnly announced, "Even though I'm great on the saxophone, I did not have harmony with that robot."

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