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PoliSat Rhymes about...
John McCain.
To go to our main page for John McCain, click here.  (Back to Index of PoliSat Rhymes)

Genome-Mapping Leads to Genetically-Improved John McCain (du20000626-01)
--Click here for more information about this ground-breaking development.

Losing without grace. (after Super Tuesday)
    There was a campaigner who lost, 
    then gave the cold shoulder with frost
    to those he'd opposed 
    and punched in the nose 
    and said, "Without me, you are lost."
    This turns all the rules upside down 
    and says that who's up must be down.
    It may seem bizarre 
    but now it is par 
    for losers to exit with frowns  
© 2000

Bush sings "Star Spangled Banana Peel" to McCain about McCain's "anti-pork votes"
(Tune of Star Spangled Banner)
    Oh, McCain can you say, this has been my touché
    You proclaimed that your calls only said facts that were true
    And that I'm a ding-dong to say your calls were wrong
    Then you proudly proclaimed that you'd do it all again
    You denied you implied big-o-try was my style
    Despite your campaign having used an untrue name
    So we went to your web site and quoted your own words
    Now you claim that it ain't fair to quote your words from there

A Noble Guy with a Common-Sense Blind Spot (du 2000-02-09)
    Chris Matthews is like John McCain-- 
    a visceral thinker with brains
    They both want to be ... 
    so noble, you see, 
    they sometimes can be quite a pain.
    But one thing we've known all along:  
    they sometimes admit they've been wrong.
    And that gives us hope 
    that tugs on their ropes 
    can teach them to sing a new song.
    We know that they both value freedom 
    and dislike political fiefdoms.
    That's why it's bizarre 
    that both of them are ... 
    for limiting campaigning freedom.
    They should know campaigners ain't "free" 
    as government regulatees.
    They prob'ly won't learn 
    until they discern
    expression has ceased to be free. 
© 2000

Even heroes can become self-righteously blind (du 2000-02-03)
    To please a big donor named Keating, 
    he went to a bureaucrat meeting.
    and in pious tones 
    told gov'ment drones:  
    "Stop giving my friend such a beating."
    His feelings of guilt are so great, 
    on this he no longer thinks straight.
    Like drinkers who quit 
    and then think it's fit 
    that everyone suffer their fate.
    Like most who just want to do good, 
    he wants to do more than he should,
    and so he proposes 
    that government noses 
    be into our business for good.
    His "money is property" rant 
    may sound like a quite noble chant,
    but speech requires money 
    like bees require honey-- 
    how else can we pay for our rants?  
© 2000

McCain's Observations About Commie-Speak ("up is down," etc.) (du 2000-01-16)
    McCain says the words from Havana 
    are typical Communist manna
    Of course he is right 
    about Elian's plight--
    on that issue he's top bananna
    But his views on cutting a tax, 
    sound more like old communist hacks
    'Cause cuts for the rich 
    he call "benefits" 
    in class-warfare language not facts 
© 2000

McCain Proves He's Sane (du 1999-12-05)
    A pundit said there's a campaign 
    to make people think I'm insane
    The pundit named Drew 
    said more than she knew 
    according to those that she named.
    But nevertheless I've decided 
    to keep me from being derided.
    Release of my files 
    and my affable smile 
    will satisfy those undecided 
© 1999.

My Brain Is Not Lame
    Some people say that I'm crazy 
    and claim that my mind is quite hazy.
    The only real time 
    that I've lost my mind 
    is talking to Imus who's spacey 
© 1999

Have No Fear
    I say I'm no hero but surely no Nero 
    like Clinton who's also a zero.
    My wife's stock in beer 
    protects me from fear 
    from calling Joe Camel a narco
    Joe Camel's a viper 
    who's like the pied piper, 
    but Budweiser Lizards are nicer--
    They only induce 
    kids onto the juice--
    Joe Camel makes kids into lifers  
© 1999.