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PoliSat Rhymes about...
Genetics.
(For rhymes about other topics, go to Index to PoliSat Rhymes)

Frontiers of Science:  Genetic defense--
in Clinton's disbarment case (limericks du20000706-01)
    They say truth is stranger than fiction, 
    and slickness is rarer than friction
    With Clinton we've found 
    the rules upside down-- 
    especially with language and diction.
    The latest political treatise, 
    American Rhapsody teases
    And generates laughter 
    because the last chapter 
    proclaims Clinton talks with his penis.
    Bill's heated reaction was fleeting 
    when he got his gene-mapping readings
    'Cause his genes present 
    a brand-new defense 
    against his disbarment proceedings.
    And in his disbarment proceedings, 
    this brand new defense will be pleaded.
    His lips will not move, 
    and that's how he'll prove 
    the lies were all told by his penis.
    The judge in such case must be awesome 
    to measure such jetsam and flotsam.
    That must be why 
    when this case is tried, 
    the judge in the case is a Johnson. 
© 2000
---Inspired by 07-06-00 Fox News story about appointment of Judge Leon Johnson in Little Rock to hear the disbarment proceedings brought against Clinton by the Arkansas Supreme Court.  See also the 2000-06-30 Daily Update-01 and 2000-06-30 Daily Update-02..

Clinton theorizes scientific defense 
to disbarment proceedings. (limericks) (du20000630-02)
    To counter disbarment proceedings, 
    I learned from the gene-mapping treatise
    That my genes 
    present a brand-new defense:  
    the lies were all told by my penis. 
© 2000  --Inspired by legislative proposals against genetic-based discrimination in light of the Drudge report on 06-30-00 that Joe Eszterhas's new book, American Rhapsody, features a final chapter narrated by Clinton's "talking penis" for which Bill Maher serves as the voice in the audio version.

Genome-Mapping Leads to--
Genetically-Improved Celebrity-Activists ( limericks)(du20000627-01)
    An anti-gun theme Rosie touts 
    except for her guard when she's out.
    The gene should come out 
    that teaches her how 
    to talk from both sides of her mouth.
(more to come as more types of gene therapies become available)  
© 2000

Genome-Mapping Leads to Genetically-Improved Politicians ( limericks) (du20000626-01)
    Since mapping the genome's complete, 
    our steps will become giant leaps.
    The most urgent mission 
    is fix politicians 
    to stop them from being such creeps.
    For Dubya, whose past was much juicier, 
    whom critics call dumber and snootier,
    What to do first? 
    Get rid of the smirk-- 
    then give him the gene to say "nuclear."
    And what should we do with Al Gore, 
    the man with inventions galore?
    To end his temptation 
    for prevarication, 
    we'll splice-out the gene for Gore Lore.
    And how can we stop John McCain  
    from singing the same old refrain?
    A gene to unzip 
    his feelings of guilt 
    for riding the Keating-Five train.
    And what about Patrick Buchannan, 
    whose mouth has become a loose cannon?
    His genes are too straight 
    and now it's too late 
    to stop his crusade against Mammon.
    And what about candidate Nader, 
    who thinks he is fighting Darth Vader?
    His mental bionics 
    and world-savior complex 
    need transplanted genes from day-traders.
    Ventura said in his next life, 
    a D-cup he'd be with delight.
    To help him prepare, 
    we'll give him new hair 
    and boobies to make the cups tight. 
© 2000