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PoliSat
Rhymes about...
George W. Bush.
(To go to our main page for George W. Bush, click here.)
(Go to Index
to PoliSat
Rhymes)
.
Ted tried finesse but
Dubya confessed (limerick
20001103-01)
Bush told us he once was a punk,
and so it's no shock he drove drunk
from too many beers
back twenty-four years,
but that shouldn't mean he is sunk.
'T'was Kennebunkport not Hyannis
and Bush didn't call on his family
to clean up his mess--
instead he confessed.
He was-- unlike Ted-- quite upstanding.
© 2000 --Inspired by
news reports yesterday indicating that in 1976, Bush was charged with, and then
plead guilty to, drunk driving after being stopped by an officer for
"driving too slowly" when Bush left a bar with friends. Unlike
the Kennedy family when confronted with Ted Kennedy's intoxicated driving having
caused the death of his female companion in 1969, the Bush family did not try to
procure special treatment for Dubya.
The
King nearly died on Larry King Live
(limerick 20001102-01)
Frank Luntz, where are you when we need
you?
Last night Larry King gave us his views.
He sputtered his words
and prob'ly made turds
when Ross endorsed Bush on the King shew**
If King
had been wired to your meter
when Ross described Bush as a leader
the lines on your chart
would show Larry's heart
quite nearly became a non-beater.
King's panic was clear the whole time,
but when was the funniest time?
The end of the show,
when King asked Perot:
"You think that you might change your mind?"
**Fellow
Boomers will remember that "shew" was Ed Sullivan's pronunciation of
"show."
© 2000 --Inspired by
my observation of King's obvious panic (on Larry King Live on 11-02-00) when--
contrary to everyone's expectations and the implications of CNN's promos that
Perot would make an important presidential "endorsement" on Larry King
Live-- Perot endorsed Bush and castigated Gore rather than vice-versa.
A
good raison d'être: Orevoir Barb the Diva
(limerick 20001029-01)
Remember the promise by Streissand
to travel beyond the horizon
if Gore doesn't win?
It's why Dubya grins--
for d'être 'tis such a good raison.
© 2000 --Inspired by
reports that Barbara Streissand attacks Bush and praises Gore in an interview by
Barbara Walters to be broadcast this coming Friday and by prior reports of Streissand's prior promise to emigrate to another country
if Gore were to not be elected.
Eleventh Hour Citizenship
(limerick 20001003-01)
To those who just watched the debate
to learn about issues I say:
You injure us all
by waiting 'til Fall
'cause your votes determine our fate.
Like last-minute crammers for tests,
you think you can quickly learn best.
That's why I'm confessing
I find it depressing
that your votes will count with the rest.
© 2000 --Inspired by the depressing
thought at the end of the 10-03-00 debate between Gore and Bush that a large
percentage of people watching the debate did not yet know enough about the
relative positions of the two candidates and parties to already know how they
will vote and that their votes might well be influenced by a merely theatrical
or stylistic mistake or "accomplishment" during the course of the
debate.
Who reconnoiters those
campaign supporters? (limerick 20000929-01)
All candidates want to be pleasers
to all senior-citizen geezers.
They often don't peep
'til after they leap
in bed with beguilers of geezers.
A Journal on human Longevity
proclaims ways to lengthen life's brevity
and raises the hope
of those who are old
with products to give them longevity.
'Though some natural products are good,
they often claim more than they should.
Too many profess
results without tests
and don't tell the bad with the good.
When Jeb Bush, the Gov'nor of Florida,
agreed that he'd author an article
on medical care
and natural care,
he first should have checked-out the oracle.
Longevity's publisher's record
could best be described as quite checkered.
So Jeb should have said
"I won't get in bed
with someone with such a bad record."
However, Jeb Bush ain't alone--
Just go to Longevity's home,
and check the archives
for how many times
it's featured a person well-known.
© 2000 --Inspired by Michael
Isikoff's 09-29-00 article indicating that Jeb Bush authorized an article
with his byline on traditional and natural health care to be published in the
Journal of Longevity magazine, whose publisher/owner has served time in federal
prison for perjury and mail fraud, and who subsequently made sizeable
contributions to gubernatorial campaigns for both Jeb and Dubya Bush. The
home-page of the Journal of Longevity is: http://www.journaloflongevity.com/JOLWeb/journal.html,
which appears to be a publication of Gero Vita International at http://www.gvi.com/gviweb/iaam/.
In checking the on-line version of the Journal of Longevity, I was unable to
find the article by Bush to which Isikoff's article refers. Journal of
Longevity issues often include articles by or about older celebrities who remain
in good health and/or have overcome debilitating ailments, such as Janet Leigh
(August, 2000); Lee Meriwether (April, 2000); Gary Collins and Mary Ann Mobley
(February, 2000); Dawn Wells (December, 1999); June Wilkinson (October, 1999);
Red Buttons (June, 1999); James Coburn (January, 1999); Barbara Eden (November,
1998); and John Glenn (September, 1998);
The "wisdom" of
Sheen as star of "West Wing" (limerick 20000928-01)
I'm Handgun Control's Martin Sheen,
and dolts who are fans of West Wing
perceive me to be
as smart as can be
'cause that's what I play on TV.
To generate anti-Bush zeal
for laws letting guns be concealed
I surely won't tell
that murder rates fell
with growth of permits to conceal.
How best could his name I besmirch?
I said he's for totin' in church,
and then with my guile
implied that he's wild--
it's some of my best-acting work!
© 2000 --Inspired by 09-28-00
Washington Post story about Martin Sheen's anti-Bush commercials for Handgun
Control.
ABC News has standards
for views:
Rats get exposure but moles get enclosure. (limerick
below)( 20000925-01)
The new name for ABC News:
Avoid Balanced Campaigning News:
Expose a rat found,
keep moles underground
when we think they're ugly to view.
The rat-story made us quite fearful
and so we gave viewers an ear-full.
The mole found by Judd
as news is a dud
because it does not make us fearful.
Gore's worker who claimed there's a mole
now says it's a gag that he told,
and Gore's folks berate
the prank as third-rate.
(But where have we heard that before?)
© 2000 --Inspired by ABC News'
apparent editorial decision that Jackie
Judd's 09-24-00 report about an alleged Gore-campaign mole in the Bush
campaign is newsworthy enough to be posted on its website but not newsworthy
enough to be included in its broadcast news, which recently accorded a
four-and-a-half-minute lead to Gore-campaign allegations that a Republican
commercial's sequential fragmentation of the word "bureaucrats"
constituted an effort to subliminally identify Democrats as "rats."
Will Alec Baldwin become a
Promise Keeper? (limerick 20000917-01)
For voters who long have been stallin'
to pick Gore or Bush for installin'
a good reason for
George Bush and not Gore:
To say "Adios, Alec Baldwin."
© 2000 --Inspired by Alec Baldwin's
gracious offer to leave the country if Bush were to be elected.
Dan Rather-Not ...
suspect any Democrat (limerick 20000915-01)
When someone sent Downey a tape
of George Dubya's practice debate,
we didn't hear Dan
proclaim to the land
that surely Al Gore is to blame.
© 2000 --Inspired by Dan Rather's stunning
loss of insight into the world of political dirty tricks by failing to assert
that Democrat dirty tricks must have been the method by which Gore's
speech-coach (former Representative Tom Downey) inexplicably received a tape of
Dubya's practice debate, even though as recently as on 08-18-00 Rather strongly
implied that on the eve of Gore's acceptance speech, Republicans had
"leaked" a story that federal judges had authorized a new grand-jury
to investigate whether Clinton had lied under oath. See PoliSat's 08-18-00
limerick about that story.
Dubya vu all over
again. (a limerick 20000912-01)
Our genes do much more than we know,
when genes from our parents we show.
George Herbert Walker
was such a bad talker,
he passed it to Dubya, you know.
Today, press-demands were continual:
"Admit use of 'RATS' was subliminal."
He said it was trivial
and wasn't "subliminable,"
a word they found not recognizable.
But we who can understand Berra
can also interpret George Dubya:
They both often say
what's right the wrong way--
It's their form of hits, runs and errors.
We know for the word
"bureaucrats,"
a proper description is "rats."
Since they're interchangeable,
it can't be subliminal
to say "rats" to mean "bureaucrats."
© 2000
Fickle-Down beats
Trickle-Down
in the War between Venus and Mars
General Wolf on the march against General Bush (limerick 20000908-01)
The proof that so few pay attention
and rarely make learning their mission?
They shift o'er and o'er
between Bush and Gore
and most who are shifting are women.
Naomi was right all along
on how to change women in throngs.
The way to prevail?
Just be Alpha Male
and for you they'll want to wear thongs.
It's clear that political wars
are now between Venus and Mars:
"Take care of my needs !"
or "Just let me be !"
Such opposites: Venus and Mars.
© 2000 --Inspired by the sudden, massive
shift among women voters after Gore French-kissed Tipper at the
convention. The philosophical differences between Bush and Gore are clear
enough and wide enough that opinions of voters who keep themselves informed on
political issues and base their decisions on reasoning do not shift back and
forth between such clearly opposing political views. It seems clear that a
much larger percentage of women than men want security more than freedom and a
much larger percentage of men than women want freedom more than security.
To the men-bashers I say this: It's freedom that has produced the
historically unprecedented security we now enjoy, not the other way around.
Alpha-Gore trap renews
Gender Gap,
so Bush must show grit to deal with the split.
(limerick 20000907-01)
The gender gap now is a pit--
A swell in the feminine split.
'Cause Alpha Gore's kiss
put Tipper in bliss,
and made the gals feel he's a fit.
So, George must take care of the split
so women will feel he's a fit:
To stop looking bland,
grow face-stubble and
ride Harleys on all campaign trips.
.
© 2000
Bush mangles syntax again.
(limerick 20000905-01)
I called "New York Times'
big reporter
a major league asshole
reporter."
So now they are claiming
the language I'm maiming
with plainly redundant
word-order.
© 2000 --Inspired by 09-04-00
Reuters/Excite report that an open microphone during a Bush rally revealed a
whisper from Bush to Cheney describing Adam Clymer both as a "New York
Times reporter" and a "major league asshole."
How is it
"mean" to show Al-Gore scenes? (limerick 20000901-01)
Reporters say Bush has turned mean
with ads that show goofy-Gore scenes.
If such ads are "mean,"
how should we perceive
the Alpha Gore class-warfare themes?
© 2000 --Inspired by instant, virtually
universal media assertion that Bush turned "mean" in approving RNC ads
incorporating video of Al Gore engaging in contradictory behavior and
exaggeration.
Errors in form versus
divisive intent (limerick 20000823-01)
We know Dubya takes after Dad
'cause often his syntax is plaid
and some words he bends,
but Alpha intends
rhetorical warfare by class.
© 2000 --Inspired by media criticism
focusing on errors in form in Bush's expressions in contrast to the relative
absence of criticism of Gore's intentional use of class-warfare rhetoric.
A good idea expressed poorly is still a good idea; likewise, a bad idea
expressed well is still a bad idea.
Ron Reagan Junior says: "Bush, I impugn ya"
(a limerick)(du20000804-01)
We know that the Junior Ron Reagan
considered his dad a Darth Vader,
and so it's no puzzler
that he trashes Dubya
and pledges allegiance to Nader.
© 2000 --Inspired by 08-04-00
"Reliable Source" column in the Washington Post
stating that Ron Reagan, son of President Reagan, called George W. Bush
"unqualified" to be president and also expressed his intention to
support Nader. .
Give us democracy-- not a theocracy (a
limerick)(du20000803-01)
Since Keyes has a mind that's adept
you'd think he would learn to accept
that we want democracy*
--
not a theocracy,
and that's why behind he was left.
And Falwell, it's your right to say
just how you think folks should behave.
It's okay to teach,
but not smart to preach
while on a political stage.
And Robertson, give us a break.
Your preaching is quite hard to take.
When we want your views,
we'll sit in your pews
to learn all the things you berate.
And lib'rals who claim they don't
preach
adore ev'ry left-leaning priest
and do not berate
the church mixed with state
by bishops with whom they agree.
'Though Dubya professes
his strengths
derive from religious beliefs,
he seems to eschew
intolerant views
and says that for God he can't speak.
© 2000 --Inspired by 08-02-00
Washington Post/AP story that Alan Keyes claims the party
"snubbed" him by not providing him a visible role at the
convention. Also inspired by the belief that although preachers have
free-speech rights to express their theological views in political contexts,
they should be wise enough to realize that doing so can easily be
counterproductive since most Americans today fear theocracy as much as did our
founders. Although many of our founders often alluded (in political
settings) to the value of religious faith in general, they did not express their
religious views in an us-versus-them or holier-than-thou manner. To
satirize religiosity is
not
to mock sincere religious faith. *I
know we have a democratic republic rather than a democracy, but republic doesn't
rhyme with theocracy. .
An eye-popper for an aye-poppa (a limerick)
(du20000724-01)
Dubya said "My second-spotter
quite surely will be an eye-popper!"
But we weren't prophetic
predicting Bo Derek!
We now know his words were "Aye, Poppa!"
'Though Cheney's among the good guys
He's not quite as good for the eyes,
but he will do fine
to keep Bush in line,
so voters can give him their ayes.
© 2000.
Waiting for Dubya's "eye-popping" choice.
(limericks) (du20000723-01)
The media think Bush will choose
Dick Cheney to walk in Quayle's shoes
Of course it's no-brainer to say no McCainer,
But Cheney wears boots and not shoes.
Since Dubya has said eyes would pop
at whom he puts into the slot.
It's said by his pals
a Republican gal--
Bo Derek will fill-out the spot.
© 2000 ---Inspired by recent news story
that Bo Derek is a Republican and by Bush's prediction that his choice will make
people's eyes pop.
Genome-Mapping Leads to Genetically-Improved George W.
Bush (du20000626-01)
--Click here for more information about
this ground-breaking development.
Dubya's Nuke-Killer Bazookas. (a limerick)
(du20000527-01)
We like Dubya's verbal bazookas
promoting defense with great hoopla,
But like some on farms
describing "The Bomb,"
he seems to prefer to
say noo-keh-ler.
And 'though Gore has said things much goofier,
I wish Bush would learn to say
nuclear,
but he ain't alone
'cause media drones
can sometimes be heard to say noo-keh-ler.
© 2000
Hey! Dubya-- Read the First
Amendment-- Please ! (a
limerick)(du20000420-01)
Political speech can't be free
if speakers are regulatees.
Candidates want
some rules that will daunt
all unruly critics they see.
I understand why you don't like
that
anti-Bush
parody site.
As bad as it is,
a "worser" thing is
control via government
might.
In politics, it is alright
to change and say "I see the light"
So open your eyes
and see how unwise
is gov'ment control of the light.
So-what if the site's in bad taste
in
mocking your Y2K race?
Freedom of speech is
what we must preach
'cause that is America's Ace.
James Madison never would be
for licensing critics, you see?
So please take a stand
for freedom, my man--
abolish that (bleep) FEC
© 2000 (Reference:
Dallas Morning News
report on 04-19-00 about the FEC's right-result, wrong-reason rejection of
Bush's request for the FEC to require an anti-Bush
parody web-site to "register" with the FEC; See also my prior
opinion on the same subject. Jim Wrenn, editor@polisat.com.)
Bush sings "Star
Spangled Banana Peel" to McCain about McCain's "anti-pork
votes"
(Tune of the Star Spangled
Banner) (du20000304-01)
Oh, McCain can you say, this has been my touché
You proclaimed that your calls only said facts that were true
And that I'm a ding-dong to say your calls were wrong
Then you proudly proclaimed that you'd do it all again
You denied you implied big-o-try was my style
Despite your campaign having used an untrue name
So we went to your web site and quoted your own words
Now you claim that it ain't fair to quote your words from there
© 2000
Dubya-Speak-- It's Deja Vu All Over
Again
(as that great philosopher, Yogi, would say)
(20000216-01)
His speeches are good but egad,
he mangles his syntax like Dad
He surely ain't stranger
than that Texas Ranger--
ole Yogi whose syntax is plaid
Omitting the nominative case,
ole Dad lost the speechmaker race,
but Dubya's like Yogi,
that brilliant old fogie--
who speaks with his words out
of place.
© 2000
George W. Bush Plays Flubble Jeopardy
(Inspired by a reporter's "pop quiz" to Dubya on "foreign
policy") (19991105-01)
Now that you're among the pros
you get the thorns not just the rose.
The category that you chose
is foreign and domestic foes.
The guy with nukes, the "General, man,"
is not correct for Pakistan.
The North Korean leader's name
is not "That guy who is insane."
The head of Russia's Commonwealth
is not "That guy who's in bad health."
You're going to have to take
your lumps--
the next one's even known by Trump.
The leader of those folks in France
is not named Mr. Fancy Pants.
© 1999
Dubya & the Garbage
Truck
(11-1-99
incident: out-of-control garbage truck almost hit Dubya while he was jogging)
(du19991101-01)
At me much garbage has been thrown
and many rumors have been sown.
I've weathered them with lots of
pluck,
but now they send a garbage truck.
But as a runner I ain't slow --
I jumped aside in time, you know.
And now they know that I'll keep
running
even though attacks keep coming.
And in the face of raking, mucking,
it's for sure I'll keep on trucking
© 1999
Don't
Ask, Don't Tell
I
didn't say "yes," I didn't say "no,"
so why do they all want to know?
I
told them I'm fine and walking the line
so let us get on with the show.
But
they want to ask
while I want to bask
and not say if I played in snow
© 1999.
Politics
of Personal Destruction
(Dubya complaining about
coverage of unsubstantiated rumors about him)
The
tabloidization of news
exposes such scurrilous views.
It
makes us peruse
false rumors not news
and gives us false choices to choose.
Decrying
such personal destruction,
opponents are so full of gumption--
promoting
consumption
of guilt by assumption
which surely is personal destruction.
They
trusted a hit-man to sow
false rumors of my snorting snow.
So
this goes to show
they'll stoop really low--
their agent they'll claim
not to know.
Their
experts in factual contortion
then claimed I had caused an abortion.
Engaging
so often
in factual distortion,
they're leaving the truth as an orphan.
©
1999
