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Archives-- Installments for
Sept. 1 through 10, 2004 starting below in reverse chronological order.
Sept. 10,
2004 #01: Political
Satire/Commentary where satire is always
commentary but commentary isn't always satire™
(but we're confident you'll know the difference) Search
PoliSat.Com Home Tell
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list of recent updates About
author, Jim Wrenn.
PoliSat.Com
Exposes the Secret Identity of Dan Rather; CBS 60 Minutes Seeks Academy Award
Nomination for Best Fraudulent Exposé of Air National Guard Service of George
W. Bush; Hollywood Moguls Plan Fete for Rather.
|
Dan
Rather's
Secret
Identity |
PoliSat.Com has learned from highly reliable sources that the facile exposé of
the fraudulent nature of the latest and clumsiest "60 Minutes"
attempted exposé
against George W. Bush prompted Dan Rather to reluctantly schedule a news
conference to reveal his "Secret Identity" so closely-guarded by him
for so long (yet so transparently obvious to everyone but him, CBS, the New
York Times, etc.). Baby boomers fondly remember Dan as the sycophantic
son whom Uncle Walter adopted after joining the Jane Fonda Cult following the
Tet Offensive. However, until 2004, only a few baby-boomers knew Dan's
real identity. This came as no shock, however, to PoliSat.Com despite it's
Editor being a baby-boomer poised on the precipice of geezerhood. Needless
to say, however, the post-baby-boom generation will have little or no
recollection of the time when Rather began undergoing his change of
identity. Some think it began before birth, but others believe it began
when first began craving the spot as successor to Uncle Walter soon after Uncle
Walter began drinking the Jane Fonda Kool-Aid.
PoliSat.Com has covertly obtained a copy of a video recording of Dan Rather
rehearsing for that news conference. Here's the transcript of Rather
rehearsing for it:
As Dan I would Rather pretend of truth I am always a friend but now I must say
my last exposé on Dubya may serve as my end. You've known me to never
have faltered in Left-March behind Uncle Walter, the news-man you trusted until
his brain rusted when washed in the Jane Fonda Psalter.
Though Bushies contend I am very unbalanced from favoring Kerry, they're wrong
in contending
that John I'm befriending-- I'm just anti-Bush, not pro-Kerry. You're
wondering why I was wont
to publish a letter whose fonts were structured to mime the famed New York
Times' proportional typesetting font.
You ask how I failed to perceive that way back in
'73 the spacing for "i" was equally wide
as "dubya" on typewriter keys. You wondering why I would push a
fraudulent memo on Bush?
I simply forgot back then there were not proportional keyboards to push.
The truth has now come to the fore: My secret identity stored so deep in
my brain can now be explained: I'm "Michael," whose last name is
"Moore."
Immediately below is the transcript reformatted in a way to reveal the poetic
truth about Rather's blind inability to recognize the facile manner by which the
fraudulent nature of the latest fraudulent exposé against Bush by Rather would
be revealed:
Dan
Rather's Secret Identity.
As
Dan I would Rather pretend
of truth I am always a friend
but now I must say
my last exposé
on Dubya may serve as my end.
You've
known me to never have faltered
in Left-March behind Uncle Walter,
the news-man you trusted
until his brain rusted
when washed in the Jane Fonda Psalter.
Though
Bushies contend I am very
unbalanced from favoring Kerry,
they're wrong in contending
that John I'm befriending--
I'm just anti-Bush, not pro-Kerry.
You're
wondering why I was wont
to publish a letter whose fonts
were structured to mime
the famed New York Times'
proportional typesetting font.
You
ask how I failed to perceive
that way back in '73
the spacing for "i"
was equally wide
as "dubya" on typewriter keys.
You wondering why I would push
a fraudulent memo on Bush?
I simply forgot
back then there were not
proportional keyboards to push.
The
truth has now come to the fore:
My secret identity stored
so deep in my brain
can now be explained:
I'm "Michael," whose last name is "Moore."
Although PoliSat.Com has obtained the transcript and video portion of Rather's
rehearsal for the conference, we have not yet been able to convert the audio
portion to an audio file playable on the internet. Be patient-- we're
working on it. Meanwhile, to help you appreciate the background as well as
the long track record of Swift
Boat Journalism at CBS, NBC, ABC, the New York Times, Washington
Post, the Los Angeles Times, ad nauseum, see the August
6, 2004, installment of Political Satire/Commentary at
PoliSat.Com. See also CBS
News Contempt for the Troops and the final
paragraph of the March 29, 2004 installment of Political
Satire/Commentary at PoliSat.Com for starters. See also Damsel
in Distress and Kerry
Versus Kerry Versus Kerry.
--Jim
Wrenn, Editor @PoliSat.Com
Note from the Editor, Jim Wrenn re Sept. 1 through
9, 2004:
I've been working on a series of special projects
unrelated to politics since mid-August but expect to resume regular daily
updates in the next few days. In the interim, here's an appropriate
reminder for all Americans-- Jim Wrenn.
Daily
Update immediately preceding the one above, go
here.
Other sites that feature
PoliSat.Com's Political Satire/Commentary-- Click here
to view our Affiliates page.
·
