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Political Satire Daily Update © 2000
This page contains Daily Updates for November, 2000.  To go to our current Daily Updates page, click here.  To go to our Archives of Daily Updates, click here.  To go to an Index of PoliSat Rhymes, click here.
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Editor's Note:  Updates for the rest of November and all of December are in the Election 2000 Ballad of the Battle for the Ballots.  Click here to find the Ballad of the Battle for the Ballots in the  Archives for December, 2000.  

2000-11-09 Daily Update-01 © 2000
The dopes at the polls who punched Patrick's hole
but meant to punch Alpha Gore's hole.  (limerick 20001109-01)
    When voters make careless mistakes
    in marking their votes in a race
    we cannot reverse
    the ways that they erred
    by putting new votes in their place.
    The word Gore is trying to preach--
    that ballots designed by Palm Beach
    caused voters for Gore
    to punch the wrong hole--
    is such a ridiculous reach.
    The arrow for Gore on the ballot
    did not mark the hole for Buchannan.
    It pointed right at
    the hole made for Al
    and not at the hole for Buchannan.
    But those careless voters now whine
    that we should put them back in line
    to punch Alpha's hole
    to give him the role
    or else he will whimper and whine.
    But who was the one who designed
    the ballot about which they whine?
    It wasn't George Dubya,
    or even his brother--
    A Democrat made the design.
© 2000

2000-11-08 Daily Update-01 © 2000
Electoral College shows wisdom and knowledge (limerick 20001108-01)
    Majoritarianism is not
    the thing Founding Fathers begot.
    They gave us the College
    with wisdom and knowledge
    so statehood could not be forgot*.
© 2000 *Poetic license for bad grammar.

2000-11-07 Daily Update-01 © 2000
Today Alpha Gore will learn "less" is "more."  (limerick 20001107-01)
    Al Gore, you proclaim you know best
    and claim that George Dubya knows less.
    To think you know best
    for ev'ryone else
    is really a sign you know less.
© 2000

2000-11-06 Daily Update-01 © 2000
It's simply not fruitful to vote if you're neutral.  (limerick 20001106-01)
    To all who are still undecided
    and claim that your minds are divided: 
    Please give us a break
    by staying away
    from booths in which votes are confided.
© 2000

2000-11-05 Daily Update-01 © 2000
What Homeless Folk Need is a Free Pack of Weeds (limerick 20001105-01)
    We know what the homeless folks need
    to help them to vote absentee: 
    A pack at the door
    to vote for Al Gore
    and then smoke those wonderful weeds.
© 2000 --Inspired by 11-05-00 Report by "The Milwaukee Channel" (WISN, Channel 12) that Gore-campaign volunteers in Milwaukee were transporting homeless people to vote absentee and then rewarded them with free cigarettes. By the way, I'm a smoker who's really tired of the anti-tobacco Gestapo, so I find it quite amusing that volunteers for the self-appointed Commander in Chief of the War Against Tobacco were furnishing free cigarettes to homeless people to vote by absentee ballot.

2000-11-04 Daily Update-01 © 2000
Bill states his own view:  Al Gore's "#2" (limerick 20001103-02)
    When Joyner told Clinton, "It's true,
    I'm sad that I can't vote for you,"
    Bill told him the score: 
    "The next-best is Gore,"
    which means that Al Gore's "number-two".
© 2000  --Inspired by 11-03-00 FoxNews report that when talk-radio host Tom Joyner told Clinton he wished Clinton could serve four more years, Clinton described Gore as the "next best" thing.

2000-11-03 Daily Update-01 © 2000
Ted tried finesse but Dubya confessed (limerick 20001103-01)
    Bush told us he once was a punk,
    and so it's no shock he drove drunk
    from too many beers
    back twenty-four years,
    but that shouldn't mean he is sunk.
    'T'was Kennebunkport not Hyannis
    and Bush didn't call on his family
    to clean up his mess--
    instead he confessed.
    He was-- unlike Ted-- quite upstanding.
© 2000 --Inspired by news reports yesterday indicating that in 1976, Bush was charged with, and then plead guilty to, drunk driving after being stopped by an officer for "driving too slowly" when Bush left a bar with friends.  Unlike the Kennedy family when confronted with Ted Kennedy's intoxicated driving having caused the death of his female companion in 1969, the Bush family did not try to procure special treatment for Dubya.

2000-11-02 Daily Update-01 © 2000
The King nearly died on Larry King Live (limerick 20001102-01)
    Frank Luntz, where are you when we need you?
    Last night Larry King gave us his views.
    He sputtered his words
    and prob'ly made turds
    when Ross endorsed Bush on the King shew**
    If King had been wired to your meter
    when Ross described Bush as a leader
    the lines on your chart
    would show Larry's heart
    quite nearly became a non-beater.
    King's panic was clear the whole time,
    but when was the funniest time?
    The end of the show,
    when King asked Perot: 
    "You think that you might change your mind?"
**Fellow Boomers will remember that "shew" was Ed Sullivan's pronunciation of "show."  
© 2000 --Inspired by my observation of King's obvious panic (on Larry King Live on 11-02-00) when-- contrary to everyone's expectations and the implications of CNN's promos that Perot would make an important presidential "endorsement" on Larry King Live-- Perot endorsed Bush and castigated Gore rather than vice-versa.

2000-11-01 Daily Update-01 © 2000
We'll miss the brilliant mind of Steve Allen (limerick 20001101-01)
    We're sad that Steven Allen has died.
    His talents were so rarefied,
    the list could begin
    but then wouldn't end.
    His brain was a Meeting of Minds.
© 2000 Regarding Steve Allen's death at age 78 on 10-29-00, see FoxNews report on 10-31-00.

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