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Political Satire Daily Update © 2000
This page contains Daily Updates for
October, 2000.  To go to our current Daily Updates page, click here.  To go to our Archives of Daily Updates, click here.  To go to an Index of PoliSat Rhymes, click here.
2000-10-31 Daily Update-
01 © 2000
It's now "Trick or Treat" by Political Geeks  (limerick 20001031-01)
    Tonight we will hear "Trick or Treat"
    from goblins in all of our streets,
    but what instills fear
    is tricks that we hear
    from all those political geeks.
© 2000

2000-10-30 Daily Update-
01 © 2000
People Who Need People or People Who Knead People (limerick 20001030-01)
    In paeans to Clinton and Gore,
    interpreting Streissand's a chore.
    The language she sings
    is called Clintonese
    which makes understanding a chore.
    Says Streissand, the expert on People
    "The best are the ones who need people."
    Such words are ironic
    because in Clinphonics 
    it means the best people knead people.

© 2000
--Inspired by observation of people who knead people.

2000-10-29 Daily Update-
01 © 2000
A good raison d'ętre:  Orevoir Barb the Diva (limerick 20001029-01)
    Remember the promise by Streissand
    to travel beyond the horizon
    if Gore doesn't win?
    It's why Dubya grins--
    for d'ętre 'tis such a good raison.
© 2000
--Inspired by reports that Barbara Streissand attacks Bush and praises Gore in an interview by Barbara Walters to be broadcast this coming Friday and by prior reports of Streissand's prior promise to emigrate to another country if Gore were to not be elected. 

2000-10-28 Daily Update-
01 © 2000
Play the way you practice (limerick 20001028-01)
    A mem'ry that's often quite keen
    among folks who've played on a team
    is mates who are lazy
    still want to be playing
    and don't care what's best for the team.
    They're like voters still undecided,
    who don't think that they should be chided
    for not having stayed
    informed all the way,
    but yet want their votes to be prided.

© 2000
--Inspired by amazement at "voters" who have struggled to remain uninformed enough to remain "undecided."

2000-10-27 Daily Update-
01 © 2000
A front-cover tease with head-room to please (limerick 20001027-01)
    When Esquire, a cultural fixture,
    asked Bill for a story and picture
    he quickly agreed
    because of his need
    to be a historical figure.
    In Esquire's photography room,
    the artist put Bill on a stool
    and told him to stay,
    then moved far away
    to get the best shot with a zoom.

    "For women to read what you'll tell 'em
    and make sure this picture will sell 'em,
    more head-room we need,"
    so Clinton with glee
    put hands on his knees and then spread 'em.
© 2000 --Inspired by 10-26-00 Esquire full-cover picture of Clinton to publicize the magazine's interview of him portraying himself as a victim of the impeachment zealots.

2000-10-26 Daily Update-
01 © 2000
Avoid O-B Docs who turn-back the clock (limerick 20001026-01)
    In olden days most obstetricians
    insisted on spousal division: 
    When labor began,
    they chased-out the man,
    and that was a silly tradition.
    Our first child was born long ago
    when dads couldn't watch it unfold.
    When labor began
    they told me to scram
    to let my wife do it alone.

    I'm glad they abandoned that rule
    in time for our child number two
    and honored my right
    to stay with my wife
    while she performed Miracle Two.
    Experience is the best teacher,
    and watching a beautiful creature
    give birth to a child
    just proves by a mile
    that gals ain't the sex that is weaker.

    Such practice brought parents together.
    And what made it even more special?
    When docs gave consent
    to film the event
    for mem'ries of something so special.
    But now a disturbing new trend
    demands that this practice should end
    'cause some doctors fear
    a film might reveal
    malpractice --i.e., medi-sin.

    To stop this all parents-to-be
    should say to their doctors-to-be,
    "If you are afraid
    for film to be made
    we'll have to change doctors, you see?"
© 2000
--Inspired by 10-26-00 Fox News report that an increasing number of obstetricians are now refusing to allow cameras in the delivery room.  Will they next refuse to allow the fathers to be in the delivery room?  Of all our family's material possessions, the two most treasured ones are the movies of our first son a few minutes after he and my wife emerged from the delivery room and the movies of our second son in the delivery room seconds after he took his first breath.

2000-10-25 Daily Update-
01 © 2000
The cause of "green-house"?  It's Alpha Gore's mouth! (limerick 20001025-01)
    When Gore says there's now a green-house,
    of one thing there's simply no doubt: 
    We know the best source
    of warming, of course,
    is hot-air from Alpha Gore's mouth.
© 2000
--Inspired by the unrelenting assertion of bogus science repeated uncritically as an article of faith by the scientifically illiterate media, who routinely and uncritically report press-release "findings" by pantheopians as scientific fact rather than speculative opinions .

2000-10-24 Daily Update-
01 © 2000
The Eco-Darth-Nader says Alpha's a Beta (limerick 20001024-01)
    It's strange that Ralph Nader has challenged
    The man who wrote Earth in the Balance 
    since both share the view
    that new C-0-2
    ain't eaten by plants on our planet.
© 2000
--Inspired by the inter-pantheopian rhetorical warfare between Gore and Nader.

2000-10-23 Daily Update-01 © 2000
The A's and the B's demand what they please,
but progress is made by the C's.
(limerick 20001023-01)
    Said Buckley, a sage among sages,
    "Who's best on our leadership stages?
    Not Harvard/Yale blokes
    but common-sense folks
    picked randomly from the white-pages."
    The Left thinks it's best to be ruled
    by top-grads from Ivy-League Schools
    and those who received
    their gentlemen's "C"s
    are nothing but legacy-fools.

    They paint all opponents the same
    by saying they lack enough brains
    to know how to lead
    the people in need,
    whose brains they consider quite lame.
    Elitists said Ike did'nt "read,"
    that Ford had less brains than we need,
    and also called Ron
    a simple moron,
    and call George a dumb-guy indeed.

    To me it remains such a myst'ry
    just why they cannot learn from hist'ry
    and still ridicule
    those common-sense "fools"
    who managed somehow to make hist'ry.
    The folks who said Ron's brain was small
    were quick to just laugh and guffaw
    especially when
    he said in Berlin
    to Gorbechev, "Tear down this wall."

    Those same folks were also aghast
    and claimed he'd returned to the past
    the time that he said
    when speaking of Reds,
    "The Soviet Empire won't last."
    They called him a man of the past
    and made him the butt of their laughs,
    but when the Wall fell,
    then Empire as well,
    I'm thankful he had the last laugh.

© 2000 --Inspired by my recollection of a long-ago comment by William F. Buckley, Jr., the gist of which was that he would prefer to be governed by people randomly selected from the telephone-book white pages than by the faculties of Harvard and Yale.  Except for that rare group of intellectuals who authored our Constitution to simultaneously grant and restrain governmental power, too many intellectuals are arrogant enough to believe their superior intellects empower (indeed, obligate) them to decide how other people should lead their lives.  In contrast, the common-sense folks who abound in the white pages have enough wisdom to know that they lack the wisdom to run other peoples' lives.  Too many intellectuals mistakenly believe that intellectualism and leadership are synonymous and fail to understand that great leadership requires keen insight into matters of common sense-- a skill amply demonstrated by the Founding Fathers and numerous great, and genuinely intellectual leaders.

2000-10-22 Daily Update-01 © 2000
Alpha-Gore's lock-box proposal ...
Keeps taxpayers at his disposal
(limerick 20001022-01)
    Al Gore says his lock-box will stop
    all Social-Security hocks,
    but his plan retains
    the keys to the chains
    in government's hands-- does it not?
    It ain't rocket-science to see
    why Gore touts his plan with such glee: 
    The Alpha Gore plan
    quite simply demands
    the locks be on you and on me.

© 2000 --Inspired by common sense.

2000-10-21 Daily Update-01 © 2000
Leave it to Beaver to stop Dubya fever?  (limerick 20001021-01)
    Bill wants to be Gore's eager-beaver
    to log-jam that growing Bush fever,
    but Alpha Gore's friends
    fear Bill will again
    just gnaw-down their tree like a beaver.
© 2000 --Inspired by news reports indicating Clinton is eager to assume a high-profile role campaigning for Gore, but Gore's supporters seem somewhat less than eager for such help.

2000-10-20 Daily Update-01 © 2000
It's proper and fit for wives to submit!  (limerick 20001020-01)
    Remember ex-President Carter?
    He used-to think Baptists were smarter,
    but now he decries
    what they say to wives
    implying that husbands are smarter.
    He listens to Rosalyn Carter
    who tells him that women are smarter
    but both misconstrue
    what Baptist wives do:
    They really ain't dumber; they're smarter.

    The last Southern Baptist convention
    said wives must submit to their husbands,
    but all of those wives
    already comply
    'cause what they submit are instructions.
© 2000 --Inspired by a 10-20-00 CNN report that Jimmy Carter severed his ties with the Southern Baptist Convention because it adopted resolutions opposing women as ministers and asserting that wives must "submit" to their husbands.  I don't know about Jimmy, but my wife has always submitted to me-- she submits instructions at the beginning of each day and especially on the weekends.

2000-10-19 Daily Update-01 © 2000
Does Gore now approve Bill's blame-others ruse?  (limerick 20001019-01)
    Bill said that he's no longer reticent
    to say in the South white, male protestants
    conspired with some preachers
    to find some impeachers
    and that shows impeachment was partisan.
    The press should now ask Alpha Gore
    what he thinks of this Clinton lore
    to spread some more lies
    to now demonize
    those southern while male protest-ors.

© 2000 --Inspired by 10-19-00 ABC News report that Clinton claims impeachment was a "persecution" of him by "southern white male protestants."  Thank goodness he's opposed to stereotyping and demonizing people.  ..

2000-10-18 Daily Update-01 © 2000
Take Me into the Poll Game (Y2K version) (tune of Take Me Out to the Ball Game)
    I missed Ninety-Nine's Series, I stayed out of the crowd
    It was a sweep by the Yanks, you know
    Now I'm sad that I chose not to go
    'Twas a sweep, sweep, sweep by the home team
    Put Atlanta to shame
    For it's one, two, three 't'was a sweep in the Series Games
    Sub-way series for this year, Yankees versus the Mets
    I've always been a big Yankee fan,
    Ricky's always said he's a Mets fan
    So its hoot, hoot, hoot at the Mets fans
    If we don't win it's a shame
    For it's one, two, three strikes he's out in the sub--way game.

    I have always loved Yank-eees, not to mention the Mets
    Baseball is one of my fav'rite games
    Cause you can steal without feeling ashamed
    So it's steal, steal, steal for my own team
    If I get caught it's a shame
    For it's one, two, three files I've hid in the old campaign
    I'm ahead in the Poll Game, I'm in touch with the crowd
    Bought me a house with some funds from hacks
    They don't care if I never pay back
    So it's root, root, root against Riiick-eee
    If I don't win it's a shame
For it's one, two, three strikes he's out in the old poll game
Rick-ee walked into my space, told me that I should sign
    That is no way to treat such such a nice girl
    He is just the most rude in the world
    So I whimper like a hurt woman
    Claim that he should fee shame
    Then I'm in his face and he's out of the old Poll Game. 
    I just love the Big Apple, I'm the toast of the town
    Moynihan gave me luke-warm support
    He'll soon learn that I'm not a good sport
    So it's hoot, hoot, hoot at ole Pat-rick
    He's the one that I'll blame
    For it's one, two, three times he messed-up my whole campaign

    Make me cookies from web sites criticizing my views
    Give them to hackers in my campaign
    Find the names of whoever complains
    So it's hack, hack, hack for my campaign
    Send a virus or two
    For it's one, two, three hacks, they're out, then we'll drink champagne
    Get those files from the White House, Get them for my campaign
    Ken Starr is gone so we're safe from jail
    All those files will be good for black-mail
    So it's threat, threat, threat for coercion
    Send a picture or two,
    For it's one, two, three pics, you're out of the whole campaign

    Don't give money to Riiick-eee, Give those millions to me
    I'm a celeb and I need the bread
    I don't dare to let Rick get ahead
    So its give, give, give to my campaign
    If I lose I'll be rich
    Only one, two, three million bucks are just not enough
    I'm well liked as a victim, please feel sorry for me
    I'm just campaigning as therapy
    Cattle futures won't do it for me
    So just give, give, give me your money
    Then just please vote me in
    then I'll have your money and I will be free from him
© 1999-2000.
    To be continued.....

© 2000 --News reports indicate that in the 2000 Subway Series, Hillary's for the Yankees and Rick's for the Mets. ..

2000-10-17 Daily Update-02 © 2000
A Birthday Limerick to my Uncle Jack (20001017-02)
    My uncle named Jack's quite a guy.
    He's sixty plus five and plus five.
    He always will heed
    a friend who's in need,
    which makes him a quite special guy.
    Most husbands have one common flaw:
    They often displease mom-in-law,
    But Jack's an exception
    who shows great devotion
    to Mae, who's his mother-in-law.

    Her age is one hundred plus one
    and he's always been like a son
    and treated her as
    the mom he once had,
    so she is a quite lucky one.
    Today, too few dads are like Jack,
    who raised his kids on the right track
    by spending his time
    in their younger lives
    to give needed pats on the back.

    And Jack, like his wife, my aunt Frances
    has never pretended he's fancy.
    A down-to-earth guy,
    he earnestly tries
    to treat all his friends just like fam'ly
    Of course, as a Dad he was dandy
    to Beverly, Ricky and Nancy,
    and now that they're grown
    with kids of their own,
    he's also a super granddaddy.

    And though he's become an old Geezer
    He still chases Frances to seize-her.
    And when she is seized
    he asks her to please
    pluck hair from his ears with some tweezers.
    Love, Jim, your knuckleheaded nephew
© 2000 --Inspired by my Uncle Jack's selfless good nature.

2000-10-17 Daily Update-01 © 2000
Again Foggy Bottom speaks Jetsam & Flotsam (limerick 20001017-01)
    Diplomacy's often complex,
    and sometimes its double-talk text
    must serve as a ruse
    in hopes to confuse
    fanatics who don't wish us best.
    But sometimes we must speak our mind
    in words that are clearly defined,
    which don't minimize
    American lives
    to calm-down fanatical minds.

    The deaths on the USS Cole
    must not be a story untold.
    Don't let those at State
    instruct V-O-A
    to just let the story grow old.
© 2000 --Inspired by 10-17-00 Drudge Report revealing a State Department memo to VOA disapproving an anti-terrorism editorial (to be broadcast in the Middle East) on the ground that the "17 or so dead sailors [who died in the bombing of the USS Cole in a Yemeni harbor do] not compare to the 100+ Palestinians who have died in recent weeks...."

2000-10-16 Daily Update-01 © 2000
Some sly lion-beardin' by Vik Chernomyrdin (limerick 20001016-01)
    We now know that Vik Chernomyrdin
    saw Gore as a lion for beardin'.
    It seems he was right
    that Gore wouldn't bite
    Iran-helping hands we were fearin'
© 2000 --Inspired by 10-16-00 Washington Times on-line story for 10-17-00 stating that "Vice President Al Gore, at the urging of Russian Prime Minister Viktor Chernomyrdin, agreed to keep secret from Congress details of Russia's nuclear cooperation with Iran beginning in late 1995."

2000-10-15 Daily Update-01 © 2000
Will brains come in time for a writer of rhymes? (limerick 20001015-01)
    Now science has granted my wish:  
    That brain-cells be grown in a dish.
    So, now there is hope
    I won't be a dope--
    as soon as they bring me that dish.
© 2000 --Inspired by 10-15-00 Observer report that scientists have now learned to grow human brain-cells in a laboratory dish.

2000-10-14 Daily Update-01 © 2000
Non-Satirical limerick:  Reflecting on the 10-12-00 
bombing of the USS Cole in port at Yemen, we pause 
to express sympathy to the victims and their families 
and thanks to those who continuously risk danger to
keep us strong and free.
    On Thursday, the Twelfth of October
    the USS Cole was exploded.
    We humbly give thanks
    to those in the ranks,
    who face danger over and over.
© 2000

2000-10-13 Daily Update-01 © 2000
Friday-Thirteenth Does Not Worry Me (limerick 20001013-01)
Will Destiny Friday-Thirteenth-us?
Not me 'cause I ain't superstitious.
Things will be fine
while I write my lines
© 2000 --Inspired by #?%#$!!!, which we all face every day.

2000-10-12 Daily Update-01 © 2000
Nobel Prize for Peace? Or just Clintonese? (limerick 20001012-01)
    We now know that during Spring season
    Bill covertly lobbied Norweigans
    to give him their "ayes"
    to win Nobel's Prize
    but they found Clinphonics displeasing.
    They heard him say he made the peace,
    but Clintonese they did not speak--
    because if they had
    they all would have said
    he's already won for that piece.

© 2000 --Inspired by 10-12-00 Fox News story about Clinton's covert public-relations campaign for the Nobel Peace Prize.  

2000-10-11 Daily Update-01 © 2000
The goal of Jim Lehrer-- No hits, runs or errors. (limerick 20001011-01)
    The Bush-Gore "debate" number two
    provided a much-better view
    of Jim Lehrer's back,
    so cut him some slack
    'cause one was much worse than was two.
© 2000

2000-10-10 Daily Update-01 © 2000
The movie, Contender contends it's best to deny and pretend (limerick)
    The movie, Contender, contends
    a candidate's sexual sins
    should be out of bounds
    for media hounds
    so good folks will campaign again.
    At first-blush this seems to be fair,
    and most folks agree "Don't go there."
    We all fear confession
    of private transgression
    when our better sense was impaired.

    But this shows Contender is wrong
    to say such exposure is wrong.
    The public won't know,
    but blackmailers know
    just who can be bought for "no-song."
    A person convinced that he must
    campaign for positions of trust
    owes it to us
    to blush if he must
    'cause that's how to guarantee trust.

© 2000 --Inspired by publicity about Hollywood's apparent need to accelerate release of Contender before the coming election to convey the message that it's wrong for politicians to be held accountable for private, sexual transgressions.  However, to ask whether it's wrong to subject a candidate or public official the humiliation of such public disclosure is to pose a more fundamental question:  Is it in the public interest to entrust governmental power to someone amenable to blackmail by his/her fear of public disclosure of a past transgression?  Would the refusal of other politicians and the media to accord any dignity to any such allegation render that politician immune from blackmail?  Wouldn't Clinton have gone (indeed, didn't he go) to the same lengths to prevent someone from privately telling his family about his "affair" with Monica as the lengths to which he went to prevent public disclosure of such "affair"?  It may be unfair, but those who seek the public trust in order to wield governmental power (they always call it "public service") owe it to be public to minimize their vulnerability to blackmail.  If one's prior conduct renders one vulnerable to blackmail, then one should not seek public office without being willing to endure the humiliation of public exposure of such transgression.  Why do some consider it noble rather than self-serving, reckless and violative of the public trust for a person vulnerable to blackmail to seek to acquire and wield governmental power? 

2000-10-09-01 Daily Update-01 © 2000
Slick Willie proclaims that his greatest fame ...
is having no minutes of shame.
(limerick 20001009-01)
    As President "I was the greatest!"
    "Twas said by Al Gore, who's the straightest! 
    And how was I great? 
    "Twas not as a mate,
    'twas being supported by "jade-ists."
    My critics will say that my fame
    is being a man without shame,
    but those who excused
    my law-breaking ruse
    are really the ones without shame.

    To those who proclaimed that I tricked 'em
    the voters said I was the victim
    'cause there is no shame
    in groping some dames--
    I proudly proclaim that I licked-em.
© 2000
--Inspired by 10-08-00 Reuters/Excite report that in an interview with The New Yorker magazine released on October 8, 2000, Clinton said his two of his great acheivements were "facing down the government shutdowns in '95 and '96" and "facing down [impeachment]."

2000-10-08 Daily Update-01 © 2000
Sheen does his thing as star of "Left Wing"
    I'm activists' tool Martin Sheen.
    Fans love me as star of "West Wing."
    Pretending to teach,
    their minds I will reach
    with Left-Wing subliminal-ing.
    And surely I owe no apology
    for pushing my own ideology.
    Defense I deride
    so fans will decide
    that missile-defense is a folly.

    And with the right thoughts in their heads
    their votes will make SDI dead,
    and we'll trust our fate
    to those who have faith
    in nice words on paper instead.
© 2000
--Inspired by a 10-08-00 Fox News report about Martin Sheen participating in an anti-missile-defense rally by representatives of the Green Party, Greenpeace, et al

2000-10-07 Daily Update-01 © 2000
Paula's new nose and spread-eagle pose (limerick)
    We hear Paula's now fixed her nose
    and now says that Bill's need for blows
    was not a bad thing
    and that the right wing
    had forced her to cause him such woes.
    To end all her no-money woes,
    she's now glad to take-off her clothes,
    'cause Penthouse will pay
    for rights to display
    a quite-tasteful spread-eagle pose.

© 2000 --Inspired by New York Daily News on-line story on 10-07-00 stating that Paula Jones agreed to pose naked for Penthouse and to say the "right wing" made her cause Clinton such woes.  ..

2000-10-06 Daily Update-01 © 2000
Jesse "The Mind" gives Willie some time (limerick)
    My stay in the White House was fine,
    did not even "cost me a dime,"
    and what was sublime?
    To have "private time"
    to give him advice from "The Mind."
    I'm sure many people were hopin'
    I'd tell him his deeds were verboten.
    It wasn't for naught!
    I told him I thought
    cigars are for smokin' not pokin'

© 2000 --Inspired by AP/Yahoo story on 10-06-00 about Ventura's overnight visit with Clinton in the White House for "private time" conversations about cigars, etc.

2000-10-05 Daily Update-01 © 2000
Too proud to take help from son but not too proud 
to get it by mugging taxpayers!
(limerick while waiting for the VP debate to start)
    The "can" lady Winifred Skinner
    won't take help her son says he'd give her
    she says she has pride
    but thinks that it's fine
    to get it by force from taxpayers!
© 2000 --Inspired by news interview of Winifred Skinner and her wealthy son, who says he's offered to take care of her prescription drug bills, let her live in a house on his ranch, etc. but that she has "too much pride" to accept such help from her son-- Isn't it odd that it doesn't hurt her "pride" to support a proposal by Al Gore to have the government give to her money taken by coercion from other taxpayers so her "pride" won't be hurt by taking help from her son?

2000-10-04 Daily Update-01 © 2000
The unabridged list of Alpha-Gore myths or
The what's and the why's of Alpha-Gore lies:  2nd Edition
    For my first debate against Bushie
    advisors had said "Don't be pushy,'
    and said I should try
    to stop telling lies,
    and just try to be goody-goody.
    They said when I got on the stage
    class-warfare is what I should wage
    but I couldn't hide
    my need to tell lies
    'cause that's how class-warfare is waged.

    When Dubya gave FEMA high marks
    in battling those high-water marks,
    In order to share
    such kudos for care,
    I claimed I was there at the start.
    Because he's a mean so-and-so
    Bush later said I didn't go.
    Reporters asked Witt
    then made me admit
    the story I told wasn't so.

    To show I'm a man with great verve
    and how with great foresight I serve
    I claimed I had joined
    in decisions to form
    our country's strategic reserve.
    Of course, I hoped none would perceive
    that happened in Seventy-Three--
    two years before
    as Congressman Gore
    I entered the House in DeeCee.

    To show my ideas are the "bestest"
    I talked about poor Kailey Ellis
    not having a desk
    to help her do best
    and called her school worse than the rest.
    Then someone who knew what was there
    described what I said as hot air!
    She first had to stand
    'cause one-hundred-grand
    in unpacked equipment was there!

    Now critics point-out that my plans
    for Skinner, collector of cans
    took so little time,
    but tenants of mine
    sat long on their overflowed cans.
© 2000 --Inspired by 10-04-00 reports of patent falsehoods in claims made by Gore in the course of his debate with George Bush on 10-03-00.  For the First Edition of "
The unabridged list of Alpha-Gore myths (and) The what's and the why's of Alpha-Gore lies" go here.

2000-10-03 Daily Update-01 © 2000
Eleventh Hour Citizenship (limerick)
    To those who just watched the debate
    to learn about issues I say:
    You injure us all
    by waiting 'til Fall
    'cause your votes determine our fate.
    Like last-minute crammers for tests,
    you think you can quickly learn best.
    That's why I'm confessing
    I find it depressing
    that your votes will count with the rest.

© 2000  --Inspired by the depressing thought at the end of the 10-03-00 debate between Gore and Bush that a large percentage of people watching the debate did not yet know enough about the relative positions of the two candidates and parties to already know how they will vote and that their votes might well be influenced by a merely theatrical or stylistic mistake or "accomplishment" during the course of the debate.

2000-10-02 Daily Update-01 © 2000
Scalia (tune of "Maria" from West Side Story)
    Sca-li-a ... I've just angered Justice Sca-li-a.
    He said I'm out of bounds; quite angry at my sounds ... is he
    Sca-li-a, when he's loud you can feel the ground shaking
    When he's quiet, there's no need for praying
    Sca-li-a, I must make amends with Sca-li-a.
    Sca-li-a ... I called him a greedy Sca-li-a
    What put him on the skids?  Tuition for nine kids ... not free
    Sca-li-a, he's so broke that he needs better paying
    And for raises he's not alone praying
    Sca-li-a, he needs more for little Sca-li-as.
    Sca-li-a, I'm sorry I picked on Sca-li-a
    My words were out of bounds, I hope he'll stop his frowns ... at me
    Sca-li-a, pay him more so the ground will stop shaking
    Pay him more 'cause end's-meat he ain't making
    Sca-li-a, we must give a raise to Sca-li-a.
© 2000  --Inspired by AP/AltaVista report on 10-02-00 about Justice Scalia's letter excoriating Tony Mauro for inaccurately reporting that a desire for judges to receive larger honoraria was the basis for Scalia's support for a proposal for Congress to raise the outside-income limit for federal judges.

2000-10-01 Daily Update-01 © 2000
Political Lap Dancing. (limerick)
    The champion of pass-the-hat dancing
    got something for which he's been angling:
    His Library fund
    got big money from
    the man who invented lap dancing.
© 2000 --Inspired by reports about the inventor of lap-dancing being a major contributor to the Clinton Library.

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