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.PoliSat.Com's Political-Satire/Commentary about:
Ted Koppel.  New Theme-Song for Nightline--Go here.

April 18, 2005--

--Jim Wrenn, Editor at PoliSat.Com.

...  Some controversies just won't die!  According to a May 7, 2002, report by Drudge, Barbara Walters, Sam Donaldson and ABC/Disney are spatting over the manner in which Walters and Donaldson publicly criticized ABC in response to rumors a few weeks ago over whether ABC would hire Dave Letterman to replace Nightline on ABC.  Of course, at PoliSat.Com, we've always liked Koppel.  In fact, he's held our attention hostage since 1980.
..
They call me Ted Koppel, whom Dave cannot topple.
Ted gets the last word on the Dave Letterman/Nightline controversy.

To hear Koppel sing "Nightline"
Choose/click:  [mp3 version] ["wav" version] ["aif" (quicktime) version].


Editor's Note: If you want to order this song-parody on CD with high-quality sound rather than the lower quality inherent in audio files compressed for browser viewing, click here to request information on ordering "Koppel Sings NightLine"© on CD.

Here are the lyrics to "Koppel sings 'Nightline'"© 2002 www.PoliSat.Com:

    And now, to NightLine's friends 
    I'm glad to say, "It won't be curtains" 
    That clown, whose name is Dave, 
    has saved my show, it's fin'lly certain 

    I've shot a lot of bull 
    since Kho-may-nee claimed he was Yaweh 
    They dare not tell Kop-pull 
    to hit the highway 

    Faux pas, I've made a few 
    But then again, no more than Jennings 
    I flubbed a line or two 
    but muddled through by condescending 

    I planned each show, of course-- 
    each frightened guest for Nightline airways 
    and guests I always forced 
    to answer my way 

    Though there were times, I'm sure your knew 
    They cut me off ... when-I missed cues 
    But unlike Dan, I didn't pout 
    I didn't fuss or walk right out 
    so after all, when ratings fall 
    they wouldn't hiiiirrree Dave 

    What if... my ratings die? 
    If Jay or Dave they still are viewing 
    Perhaps, I'll have-to try 
    some Naked News* to get 'em viewing 
    And yes, I'd stoop to that 
    I'd show my bod, not in a shy way 
    For sure, the babes would clap 
    to see me side-ways 

    A Naked-News host... shows what he's got 
    to show his all by hiding naught 
    so viewer babes will surely feel 
    like teenage girls who love to squeal 
    They'll mail to show to let me know 
    They'll do it mmyyyyyyyy wwwwaaaaayyyyyy.
   (Lyrics & vocal:  Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com).

*Believe it or not, there really is a NakedNews.Com website, but you'll have to find it yourself.  I don't want to be the cause of any competition to what I understand are secret plans for C-SPAN to attract a younger audience rather than the news-junkie geezers such as I.  To read about the C-SPAN plans leaked to PoliSat.Com by an anonymous source at C-SPAN, go to .http://polisat.com/du2002/du020131.htm#20020109-01--Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com.