U.S. Trademark Board Extinguishes Trademark Protection for "Redskins" name and logo for the Washington Redskins UNLESS New Design by Anyer Marx Proves Acceptable to Everyone.  (But that wouldn't spell relief for Oklahoma, Which Name was Derived from the Pre-Columbian Language of Choctaw Tribe of Pre-Columbian Natives, Who Called Themselves "Red People.")  

June 18, 2014  (OPE -- TPC)

By Jim Wrenn, Editor, PoliSat.Com ; PoliticalXay.Com

           The US Trademark Board has ruled that the "Redskins" must become the "ColorlessSkins" so that no color is offended. The Redskins Mascot, Chief Zee quickly adapts.  (See picture below.) 

          In a glorious act of moral redemption and social conscienceness founded upon recognition that the term "Redskins" constitutes a hate-crime term because some DOIPECIONAs (Descendants Of Indigenously Pre-European-Conquest Inhabitants Of North America a.k.a. DOIPECIONAs) feel disrespected by any term ascribing to them any particular skin-pigmentation characteristics, the U.S. Patent and Trademark Commission has extinguished Trademark-law protection for the "Redskins" football team.

          Particularly offended by the term "Redskins" are the DOIPECIONAs in the State of Oklahoma, which name is derived from the name that the ancestors of modern-day DIOPECIONAs gave to their land, "Oklahumma," which means "red people." 

          To prevent offense against any "red people" in the State of Oklahoma ([i]i.e.[/i], the State of Red People), the name "Oklahoma" will henceforth be banned and the State of Red People will henceforth be known only by the true meaning of it's USPS abbreviation "OK," which henceforth will be understood to be an abbreviation for "Okay." There will be great rejoicing (and perhaps peace-pipe smoking) in the State of Okay. The new State Motto will become "I'm Okay, Are You Okay?" 

          Additionally, the Trademark Board will also extinguish the full-name of the National Association or the Advancement of Colored People but will continue trademark protection for its acronym "NAACP" so long as the governing board promptly changes the full name to "National Association for the Advancement of Colorless People," which cannot possibly offend anyone since even "white" people are not "colorless" because "white" is a "color" and indeed is a uniform blend of all colors.

          There are, of course, virtually millions of names currently enjoying trademark protection that offend at least someone, and so the Trademark Board must proceed with deliberate speed to identify all of them and promptly extinguish trademark protection for them.

          Under the Equal Protection Clause, names or terms that comprise "hate crimes" may no longer receive Trademark or Copyright protection. For those unfamiliar with the term "hate-crime," the Trademark Board will define its meaning to be "any crime that is the opposite of a 'love crime' or a 'friendly felony.'"

          Consistent with the new requirement for the soon-to-be-renamed "National Association of Colorless People," the new name for the "Redskins" will be the "Colorless Skins." 

          Since science recognizes "white" as the combination of all colors and "black" as the complete absence of color at all, the new logo for the Washinton Colorless Skins will depict a "black" (i.e., colorless) person. Thus, the now famous Washington Redskins character, Chief Zee (see picture at the top) will be able to keep his job, but in the future, since his skin actually appears to be brown, he must completely cover his skin with black shoe polish or other suitable bodypaint in order to be the symbol of the "Colorless Skins."

          But wait -- Anyer Marx at ThePeoplesCube.Com has a better idea:

In describing his creative process in designing the new Redskins Logo that would permit the to keep the name, the reliably creative Anyer Marx (at ThePeoplesCube.Com, which is also red) said:  "This particular hate crime is not so much a naming problem as a logo problem. Had the team owners <spit> agreed with the idea of PETA [People Eating Tasty Animals] to use a potato instead of an image of a red indian displaced indigenous native historical personage our overworked USPTO and Harry Reid would not have been put the trouble of acting on the offense. Moo would likely also have been pleased with a potato logo, which is reason enough to do anything, no matter the expense. BUT, if not a potato, how about a logo featuring a sunburned tourist's bum? There are clearly politically correct themes in such a logo: obvious pain being experienced by a painfully white <spit> melanin-challenged person; the bum, a veritable symbol of D.C., it even includes the figurative "aisle" no one is reaching across; and, the white feathers could be retained as a statement of foreign policy and having nothing whatsoever to do with displaced indigenous native historical personages."

          This new logo gives new meaning to the oldest rivalry:

And, more important, this leads to a new "before" and "after" regarding the Redskins mascot:

Thanks to the Redskins logo-change designed by Anyer Marx, the Mascot Matches during Redskins vs Cowboys games will no longer feature battles between the Redskins' famous Chief Zee and the Cowboys' "Crazy Ray Jones" (rest in peace) or Jones' successor. Instead, it will be between the Redskin Babe and the Midnight Cowboy. Coppertone's loss is the Redskins' gain. No more bronze blond cheerleaders-- only sunburned blonds. 
Permanent link:

http://PoliSat.Com/US-Trademark-Board-Extinguishes-Washington-
Redskins-Hate-Crime-Name-and-Logo.htm   

OR

http://polisat.com/DailyPoliticalSatire-Commentary/Archives2014/du20y14m06d18-02.htm 

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