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Debate rages over what deserves top spot among Super Bowl ads: Essence of Hillary, Hillary's Wardrobe Malfunction, Spinning Hillary, the Al Gore Mobile," or Duet by Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton.·
By Jim
Wrenn,
Editor and Washington Bureau Drawer Chief at PoliSat.Com.
February 3, 2008--
Debate rages over which video deserves top spot among Super Bowl ads: The "Essence of Hillary," "Hillary 2008 Super Bowl Wardrobe Malfunction," "Spinning Hillary," the "Hillary 2008 Naked-Silhouette Dance," the "Al Gore Mobile," the "I Knock You Babe" duet by Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton, or the "Dueling Memoirs" of Bill and Hillary Clinton from the archives of the Clinton Liebrary to be confused with the Clinton Library. Some experts say their suitability is questionable. Others say their questionability is suitable. Yet many experts say their unsuitability is unquestionable, but at least a few say they're unquestionably suitable. Scroll-down for descriptions of the videos and links for viewing them.
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The "Hillary 2008 Super Bowl Wardrobe Malfunction" video reflects the changes in strategies for Hillary's campaign urged by Bill Clinton in the immediate wake of Barack Obama's landslide victory in South Carolina. Despite media speculation that Hillary's campaign would put Bill Clinton on a "short leash" after her stunning defeat in South Carolina, the production of this video shows that Bill still retains enormous behind-the-scenes power and influence inside her campaign. Recognizing that his statements and actions leading up to the South Carolina primary may have caused many blacks to vote for Obama more as a sign that they think Hillary-- unlike Bill-- isn't "black enough" rather than as a sign that they think Obama is "black enough."
So Bill orchestrated this video collaboration with Janet Jackson, a famous black supporter of Hillary who's extremely popular among young voters-- black and white and male and female. This video is also designed to restore for Hillary what Sharon Stone described as her extremely "sexy" persona. Indeed, Stone once said she feared Hillary was "too sexy" to be elected president, but as the campaign wore on, Hillary's sexy image wore-off until she found it necessary to show "cleavage" to restore her "sexy" image. (Scroll down for the "Sharon Stone Cleavage Ad For Hillary.") That strategy was successful but cut short when the Washington Post published a quite unflattering photograph of Hillary without her makeup. Thus, Bill and Hillary deemed it imperative for her to regain her "sexy" image that appeals to young voters. (For links to the largest, best-quality version and/or YouTube versions, use the link immediately below the above-right video box.)
The "Spinning Hillary" video, also titled the "Hillary 2008 Super Bowl
Naked-Silhouette Half-Time Show," is a video in which her "magic dance" changes each
time it's viewed and changes while playing depending upon how the viewer follows instructions for
watching it. It's an optical illusion created by head or eye movements of the viewer while
watching the video. The more closely the viewer scrutinizes her spinning dance, the more she
changes the dance. It's the video that best depicts how she adjusts the spin of her political
positions to whatever seems to be the type of dance preferred by whomever happens to be her audience
at any given moment in time. Viewers doubting that the video produces this effect need
only watch it and follow the instructions of Bill Clinton's raspy voice during Hillary's
"Naked-Silhouette Spinning-Hillary" dance.
Among the most popular videos is the "Sharon Stone Cleavage Ad for Hillary."
Many political junkies remember when Hillary Clinton wore that plunging-neckline blouse beneath a
pink "business suit" jacket during one of her recent "floor" speeches in the
Senate. Witnesses who were present said it was called a "floor" speech because the
jaws of all the male senators dropped to the floor when they saw her cleavage. 
Surprisingly,
this video seems far more popular than the "Sharon Stone Basic Instinct" ad for
Hillary. Regarding the "cleavage" speech, Ted Kennedy was heard to say he thought
she had "nice [four letter description omitted]." A reporter who normally
covers the House of Representatives said that Nancy Pelosi was heard to day, "If she wants to
see real cleavage, she should come over here and watch mine me."
Harry Reid said, "Listen, I'm from Las Vegas. I've seen cleavage. I have friends
who have cleavage, but now that the Senator from New York and the Speaker of the House are in a
'cleavage' contest, it saves me money by eliminating my need to go back to my district to appreciate
cleavage."
Given the growing popularity of the New Age Religion known as "Human-Caused Global
Warming," environmentalists favor the ad about the new "Al Gore Mobile" (also known
as the "GoreMobile") invented by Al Gore to "end our dependence on fossil fuels"
by developing a fecal-fuel vehicle. In this video, Al Gore demonstrates the exciting viability
of the GoreMobile while en route to a "Global Warming Concert." Scientists
worldwide have expressed profound amazement at Gore's technical skill in developing this vehicle and
especially the way he strains himself to make this new Green Technology work effectively. 
Said
an admirer of Gore, "If we all strained ourselves as much as Al Gore, then Mother Earth would
be a far better place than it is today." When reporters asked Gore how he conceived the
idea for this technologically revolutionary vehicle, Gore said he had been able to do so because he
"broke the Da Gorgle Code. In fact, many people have forgotten that "Da Gorgle
Code" was the prequel to his Academy Award Winning film, "Inconvenient Truth."
(To view the "Da Gorgle Code" prequel, click image at the left.) Said Gore,
"The GoreMobile teaches that it's not what you get out of Green Technology, it's what you put
into it."
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However, the video most likely to have lasting, historical importance is the video recently released
by the archivist of the Clinton Liebrary (to be confused with the Clinton Library) revealing the
2001 drafts of memoirs by Bill and Hillary Clinton, which have now become known as the "Dueling
Memoirs." Presidential historians are agog at the bawdy content of those drafts
written by Bill and Hillary when they expected her to run in 2004 rather than 2008. Although
both Clintons have attempted to dispute the authenticity of such drafts and the video tape, their
authenticity have been verified by the "bin Laden video-tape analysis unit" at the
CIA." Nevertheless, die-hard Democratic activists, Joe
Wilson and Valerie Plame (who became famous as political
moles for Kerry during the 2004 election campaign) say that such claim of authenticity
was a "leak" by Dick Cheney intended solely to embarrass the Clintons.
Only time will tell which of these videos will become the most popular.
--Jim Wrenn, Editor, PoliSat.Com.
Permanent link to this installment:
http://polisat.com/DailyPoliticalSatire-Commentary/Archives2008/du20y08m02d03-01.htm .
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