Hillary Clinton sends Valentine's Day cards to John Kerry, John Edwards, Howard Dean,Wesley Clark, and Al Gore.

Feb. 14, 2004 : PoliSat .Com's Political Satire/ Commentary* Daily Update # 01·· ™©·2004·(Home)·
*Where the satire is always commentary, but the commentary isn't always satire (but you'll know the difference)·
(Permanent, direct link to this Daily Update: http://polisat.com/du2004/du040229.htm#20040214-01.)
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Hillary Clinton sends Valentine's Day cards to John Kerry, John Edwards, Howard Dean, Wesley Clark, and Al Gore.·

PoliSat.Com's highly unreliable sources have intercepted Valentine's Day cards Hillary Clinton sent to John Kerry, John Edwards, Howard Dean, Wesley Clark and Al Gore. Currently we are seeking legal advice on whether it might violate campaign laws if we were to forward them to the intended recipients, but you know how hard it is to get a straight answer from a lawyer. Meanwhile, to serve the public's "right to know," we're publishing the contents of Hillary's cordial greetings to those with whom she collegially competes in the political arena.

Hillary's Valentine.·

To Kerry, the subject of tattles:
Although I'm not ready to haggle
for bottom or top
just save me a spot
in 2004 on your saddle.

To Edwards, re Kerry, "Don't worry."
A heel of Achilles has Kerry,
and soon as he falls,
my mate would be "Y'all"
if you tell me "yes" in a hurry.

To Wesley, "my horse" that went lame,
it's only yourself you can blame,
so when I'm elected
your name's been ejected
from stalking horse service again.

To Howard, the Doctor bereft
of manners or skills to be deft.
When Kerry has fallen
it's me they'll be calling,
not you for your screams to the deaf.

To Alpha Male Albert F. Gore:
Destroyed is your planning in store
for 2008
by kiss-of-death fate
of whom you endorsed in oh-four.

What will Hillary receive from each of them? Unfortunately, our covert operatives haven't been able to intercept their Valentine gifts to her. We doubt Dean is sending a Vermont Teddy Bear. PoliSat.Com's highly unreliable sources say Kerry is emulating a tactic used by John F. Kennedy in the Cuban Missile Crisis in communicating with Nikita Khrushchev-- i.e., Kerry is sending both a friendly and not-so-friendly Valentine greetings to Hillary to enable her to choose whether they will make peace or war. Our highly reliable sources also claim that John Edwards thought about sending nuts but then decided that doing so wasn't needed. Our most anonymous sources say that Wesley Clark sent her a note stating that if he were to ever become Vice President, there would never be a day on which anyone would fail to receive a Valentine's Day card.

Our most top-secret operatives managed to get a quick peek at the Valentine's Day greeting Al Gore sent to Hillary. He sent her the same one he mass-mailed to everyone he knew proudly touting the well-know historical fact that he had invented the very first Valentine's Day card, which recited the lyrics to a tender lullaby his mother sang to him many years before the lullaby was had been composed.

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