John Kerry gallops (and Gallups) ahead of John Edwards and Howard Dean and leaves Dark Horse Clark in the dust.

Feb. 11, 2004 : PoliSat .Com's Political Satire/ Commentary* Daily Update # 02·· ™©·2004·(Home)·
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John Kerry gallops (and Gallups) ahead of John Edwards and Howard Dean and leaves Dark Horse Clark in the dust.·

John Kerry has galloped (and Galluped) far ahead of John Edwards and Howard Dean and has left Dark Horse Wesley Clark in the dust and thereby avoided becoming a mere spectator in what initially appeared likely to be the Political Smackdown of the Century. Conventional wisdom among pundits is that Edwards and Dean will stay in the race in case Kerry stumbles and/or to maintain visibility as potential nominees for the Vice Presidency. Stumbling isn't the only risk Kerry faces as he gallops toward the nomination and into the election. He has at least two Achilles' Heel vulnerabilities from within his own party: Al Gore and Hillary Clinton.

What about Gore? Since Gore's 2008 strategy required what the Draft-Hillary crowd (in ads in Iowa) called "Doctor Assisted Suicide" for the 2004 Democratic ticket, even Gore may be clever enough to learn from his mistake (i.e., giving Dean the kiss of death by endorsing him, a political process now known as "Gore-Assisted Suicide"). Even Gore may now realize that his next-best strategy for 2008 would be to endorse Kerry as soon and as often a possible between now and the November, 2004 Election. Thus, if Kerry were to learn that Gore is planning (threatening?) to endorse him, he should call a press conference and repudiate Gore's support.

What about Hillary? Now that the primary voters have sent her Dark Horse to the political glue factory and thereby forced her convention-deadlock tool out of the race, what will she do? Will she (1) covertly try to create a deadlocked convention to preserve her options of (1a) becoming the compromise candidate (if Bush were to then appear vulnerable) or (1b) endorsing another candidate to break the deadlock (if Bush were to then appear likely to win) and thereby ingratiate herself to the Party to strengthen her position in 2008 or (2) count on the virtual certainty that Kerry would offer her the VP spot before offering it to anyone else, in which case she would (2a) accept it if she were to then perceive Bush as vulnerable or (2b) reject it if she were to perceive Bush as the likely winner.

So what should Kerry do? If he were to look over his shoulder., he'd recognize a need to smoke-out a CDW (Campaign Destruction Weapon) sooner rather than later by not waiting until he gets the nomination to pick Hillary as his running mate. However, protecting that Achilles Heel would expose another one because announcing he would pick Hillary would strengthen Edwards' electability, which is the horse on which Kerry has galloped ahead of the rest by becoming (just in time for Iowa) the UnDean, UnClark, UnGephardt, UnEdwards candidate. Which heel should he protect? He can't protect both.

Through reliable but anonymous sources, PoliSat.Com has obtained the text of Kerry's battle plan for protecting his Achilles' Heel.

They're calling me Galloping Kerry
for stretching my lead in a hurry,
however I fear
a threat from the rear
is one about which I should worry.
I need to avoid being pilloried
by shafts of political missilry,
so sooner than later
for safety I'll cater
to sharing my saddle with Hillary.
The Prince of the two Carolinas,
believes he, not she, would be finer,
but monologue lines
to Cheney we'd find
are best to calm fears of anginas.

Kerry's choice will certainly deal a stunning blow to the ego of John Edwards, the only man to earn the title "Breck Girl" but yet be bested in appealing to women by a woman more highly skilled in the linguistics of monologues calming fears of anginas.

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