Al Gore accuses George Bush of "betraying" our country.

Feb. 10, 2004 : PoliSat .Com's Political Satire/ Commentary* Daily Update # 01·· ™©·2004·(Home)·
*Where the satire is always commentary, but the commentary isn't always satire (but you'll know the difference)·
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Al Gore accuses George Bush of "betraying" our country.·

Today, new information from PoliSat.Com's highly reliable sources emerged about Al Gore's speech in Tennessee on Sunday, February 8, 2004. Witnesses say Gore gave a political fire-and-brimstone speech that would have made Cotton Mather turn green with envy. Among his most memorable lines was his statement that George W. Bush "betrayed this country." Most politicians understandably have a hard time resisting the impulse to jump onto a bandwagon. Few have the urge to jump onto one careening over a cliff, except, of course, Al Gore. Fewer still have exhibited Gore's skill in pushing bandwagons over cliffs.

Apparently fearing that Howard Dean's scream may have firmly established him as the "Alpha Male" for the entertainment-industry pack, Gore gave a speech today in which one of his goals was for his carotid arteries to appear much larger than did Dean's during his eloquent "I Have a Scream" speech. Another goal seemed to be to demonstrate that he could scream in a much deeper voice than his protégé, Howard Dean (the Beta Male). A third seemed to be lure some of the intellectual heavyweights currently supportering Wesley Clark (such as Michael Moore, Madonna, Ted Danson, Drew Barrymore, Peter, Paul & Mary, Jimmy Hendrix, Jim Morrison, Janis Joplin, etc.) out of Clark's Military Industrial Duplex and into the MoveOn.Org cult running the Doctor of Spleen Machine.

Responses to Gore's speech were overwhelming. He received calls from John Edwards, Wesley Clark, Dennis Kucinich, Al Sharpton, Howard Dean, Lyndon LaRouche, Hillary Clinton and George Bush begging him to endorse John Kerry. McGovern asked him to endorse Nixon. He was also swamped by calls from a number of world leaders. Jacques Chirac asked him to endorse Tony Blair; Tony Blair asked him to endorse Jacques Chirac; and through intermediaries, Saddam Hussein asked him to endorse Bush. The Christian Coalition urged him to endorse MTV. John Kerry called to say he would categorically repudiate any endorsement by Gore.

Offers poured in from the business world as well. Pepsi offered to pay Gore to endorse Coke in the next Super Bowl. Michael Jackson, Kobe Bryant and Martha Stewart asked him to endorse their prosecutors. CBS asked him to endorse Michael Powell. Dave Letterman asked him to become a regular guest of Jay Leno.

Was Gore right in saying who stooped to betraying?·

I'm Gore, who believes I'm behooved
by speeches I'm giving to prove
the anger of Dean
is wimpy and lean
compared to the hate I exude.

Attacking George Dubya, I say:
"'Twas not just from wisdom he strayed.
I'm raising my voice
alleging his choice
was he would our country betray."

Hey, Al, as the Joe who was nearer
to you when your thinking was clearer,
I sadly must say
to see who betrays
just look at yourself in the mirror.

Joe Lieberman expressed sadness that Gore had endorsed Dean. According to PoliSat.Com's highly reliable, anonymous sources, Lieberman told his closest aides, "Gore owed it to me to help me win the nomination, so why didn't he endorse all the candidates (other than me, of course)? If he had done so, I'd be soaring to victory by now." Bill Clinton, always eager to express an opinion on issues of great political import, confidentially told the New York Times, the Washington Post, the Los Angeles Times, the National Enquirer and several other papers of record, "Gore's getting a bum rap. He was the key to my success in avoiding impeachment because a majority of Senators was unwilling to take the heat from their constituents for casting a vote that would make Gore the President."

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