John Kerry says Bush took unfair advantage of Patriot Act for State of Union address.

Jan. 21, 2004: PoliSat .Com's Political Satire/ Commentary Daily Update # 02·· ™©·2004·(Home)·
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John Kerry says Bush took unfair advantage of Patriot Act for State of Union address.·

Today, after huddling with advisors, John Kerry said Bush had taken unfair advantage of the Patriot Act for political purposes in staging the State of the Union Speech. The controversy erupted today over the appearance last night by Super-Bowl-bound New England Patriot quarterback Tom Brady in the VIP guest box of First Lady Laura Bush during the State of the Union Address. John Kerry said "Something is fishy here. I thought Brady had agreed to endorse me." Asked how Bush could have persuaded Brady to join the First Lady and enthusiastically applaud many of Bush's lines in the State of the Union speech, Kerry said he suspected roughing the passer. Bush demanded a replay of the entire event to show there was no illegal contact.

Patriot Act "unfair" says Kerry.·

Said John, "Something's fishy or shady:
A guest of the nation's First Lady
for State of the Union
campaigning communion
was New England Patriot, Brady."

Said Kerry, "I thought I'd persuaded
the New England Patriot, Brady,
to say that for me
he's voting with glee,
so why did he join the First Lady?"

Said Dubya to John "It's surreal
but I felt the way you must feel
when Sosa I lost
in Texas as boss
of Rangers and couldn't appeal."

Like I, you've no grounds to appeal.
Your mem'ry is wrong on the deal.
When poll numbers showed
your standing was low,
for Brady I traded O'Neill.

On hearing the news, John Edwards predicted there would be no such defections from the Panthers. Appealing to the football fans in New Hampshire, Edwards emphasized his consistently positive approach by announcing that he wanted both teams to win so no team would be left behind. When reporters asked Dean to comment on the situation, he said "Aaaauuuugggghhhh," but his expression left doubt about whether he was smiling or just practicing baring his teeth. Wesley Clark said, "If I were a New Englander, I guarantee that no Patriot would leave my team." Joe Lieberman said, "I supported Brady's decision to attend the State of the Union, but I would have persuaded him to sit in my VIP section." Kucinich said, "I would've appealed the matter to the players' union." Al Sharpton described he incident as another example of the need to repeal the Patriot Act. Another professional sports player recently in the headlines, Pete Rose, said, "I bet Brady wins either way."

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