Bush's State of Union speech sparks reactions from Dean, Kerry, Edwards, Clark, Lieberman, and Kucinich.

Jan. 21, 2004: PoliSat .Com's Political Satire/ Commentary Daily Update # 01·· ™©·2004·(Home)·
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Bush's State of Union speech sparks reactions from Dean, Kerry, Edwards, Clark, Lieberman, and Kucinich.·

Responses to Bush's State of the Union speech set the stage for Campaign 2004. Howard Dean responded, "Yaaauuuugggghhhhh" while displaying his famous Iowa smile. John Kerry said, "Unlike Bush in his photo-op standing before Congress last night, I really know something about standing around in Congress." John Edwards said, "While Bush was appearing before powerful interests in Washington last night, I was meeting with ordinary, hard-working campaign strategists in New Hampshire." Wesley Clark said, "Bush gave a flawed speech last night. I guarantee that when I'm elected President, there will be no flawed State of the Union speeches inflicted on this country." Joe Lieberman said, "Gee, given the unwavering support I've given George Bush on Iraq, I was disappointed he didn't express support for my 'No Candidate Left Behind' proposals." Dennis Kucinich said, "If I were President, I'd change the location of the State of the Union address. Instead of speaking to the powerful interests in Washington, I'd address the ordinary people by making the speech to the United Nations General Assembly." Dick Gephardt said, "To look on the bright side of my loss in Iowa two days ago, I'm kinda glad I won't have to sit through any more State of the Union speeches."

Says Al, "I've invented the means to help Re-InviGore-ate Dean."·

I'm trying to figure why Kerry
and Edwards passed Dean in a hurry.
Though some say his raucous
displays irked the caucus,
the cause may be diff'rent, I worry.

I then began wracking my brain
to figure what made him go lame,
and now I profess
to know what is best
for Dean to get back in the game.

While list'ning last night to George Bush
I thought how I better could push
for Dean to do best:
Support I'll express
for all of the rest and for Bush.

Tom Daschle said, "I'll comment on Bush's shocking failure to propose that food products to bear a country-of-origin label, but I'm not going to comment on what he said about Iraq." Nancy Pelosi said "Unlike Bush, I've been on the Intelligence Committee for six years." Ted Kennedy said, "This speech was planned and rehearsed in Crawford, Texas." Hillary Clinton said, "To show my respect for the Presidency, I clapped my hands very slowly without rolling my eyes when I saw the camera focusing on me." Al Gore said, "Listening to Bush last night made me more determined than ever to try to help revive Howard Dean's campaign; therefore, I'm going to withdraw my endorsement of Dean and endorse all other candidates, including George Bush." Paul O'Neill said, "I was shocked that Bush didn't explain the difference between M-1 and M-2 relative to the inverse relationship between interest rates and inflation divided by productivity multiplied by the square root of the trade-deficit." Alan Greenspan said, "It was a speech." Bill Clinton said, "I would have given a better speech." Dick Cheney said, "I knew I would be behind the President."

Pat Robertson said "God told me every word Bush would say before he said it." Jerry Falwell said, "I was glad that Bush mentioned 'marriage' but disappointed that he failed to explain why so many marriages are not 'civil' unions. Judge Roy Moore said, "I was disappointed that Bush failed to recite the Ten Commandments in his speech." Louis Farahkan said, "Bush's speech lasted fifty-four minutes, which, divided by two equals twenty-seven, which, divided by three equals nine, and the seventy-one interruptions by applause minus twenty-seven equals forty-four, which, divided by four equals eleven-- Thus, numerology analysis of the speech shows Bush knew in advance about Nine-Eleven." Howard Dean said, "That's an interesting theory."

Martin Sheen, a Dean supporter, said, "My response is the same as Howard Dean's: "Yaaauuuugggghhhhh."" Rob Reiner, a Dean supporter, said, "Bush showed his inability to be literate by failing to quote from any of the thousands of books I've read that he's never read." George Soros said, "I wouldn't say Bush sounded like Hitler; I only contribute money to people who would say so." Willie Nelson, a Kucinich supporter, said, "Who needs tax relief? I've always felt a citizen's highest duty is to try his best to overpay rather than underpay his 'fair share.'" Michael Jackson, who is non-political, said, "I liked his proposal for no child left behind."

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