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PoliSat Rhymes about...
Guns.
(To go to our main page for Guns, click here.)  (Go to Index to PoliSat Rhymes)

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The "wisdom" of Sheen as star of "West Wing" (limerick 20000928-01)
    I'm Handgun Control's Martin Sheen,
    and dolts who are fans of West Wing
    perceive me to be
    as smart as can be
    'cause that's what I play on TV.
    To generate anti-Bush zeal
    for laws letting guns be concealed
    I surely won't tell
    that murder rates fell
    with growth of permits to conceal.
    How best could his name I besmirch?
    I said he's for totin' in church,
    and then with my guile
    implied that he's wild--
    it's some of my best-acting work!
© 2000 --Inspired by 09-28-00 Washington Post story about Martin Sheen's anti-Bush commercials for Handgun Control.

Fruit can fall far from the tree (limericks) (du20000531-02)
    We think that how true it must be ...  
    that fruit can't fall far from the tree,
    And so it astounds 
    when fruit can be found 
    that fell far away from its tree.
    Remember ole anti-gun Rowan, 
    who practiced illegal gun-totin'?
    His son saw the light:  
    gun-owning's a right 
    for personal defense-- not just sportin' .
    A speech by the son caused confusion 
    and news about Senior's conversion.
    But Senior explained 
    that he hadn't changed-- 
    the words were his son's ammunition. 
© 2000  ---Inspired by Inside the Beltway column by John McCaslin on 05-31-00.

The Million Mom "Martyrs" (a limerick) (du20000528-01)
    I tire of the Million-Mom wail 
    that life is a stressful travail.
    They seem to not know 
    their ancestors' woes 
    like those on the Oregon Trail.
    If they had been moms long ago, 
    when husbands proclaimed, "Westward Ho,"
    They would've said "No !  
    We ain't gonna go  
    until we ban arrows and bows." 
© 2000

Rosie O'Donnell shoots from the HipOcracy*  
(a limerick) (inspiration**) (du20000525-01)
    'Though Rosie O'Donnell demands
    that all private handguns be banned ... .
    Despite all her words,
    she wants to have hers
    nearby in her bodyguard's hand.  
© 2000  *HipOcracy is a term I coined to describe a currently "hip" form of hypocrisy by those with influence in the MediOcracy, which is a term I coined to describe our CelebOcracy, another term I coined to define a society controlled by the power of celebrity-- i.e., it's the same as a plutocracy, except that the source of power is celebrity rather than wealth (or accomplishments), and it's  similar to  EmotOcracy, (ee-mow-toc-ruh-see) another term I coined to define a society         governed by emotions rather than sober reasoning.  Jim Wrenn, editor at polisat.com. © 2000
**Limerick inspired by 05-25-00 article in the Stamford Advocate about Rosie's bodyguard's application for a permit to carry a concealed weapon just a few days after Rosie's speech to the so-called "Million Mom March" demonizing people who object to restrictions on their rights to own and bear firearms for self-protection.

Million Mom March:  Militant Passivism* by the Passivopians** (a limerick)(20000522-01)
    A quite contradictory vision 
    is militants for passivism
    They quite loudly say 
    in their strident way, 
    "Let's passively trust gov'ment's wisdom." 
© 2000
---*Militant Passivism (not to be confused with pacifism) is a term I coined to define those who militantly advocate passage of new laws and/or implementation of government programs calculated to require citizens to passively rely upon government to apply its infinite wisdom to do what's good for them and everyone else whether they like it or not-- Jim Wrenn, editor@polisat.com. © 2000
---**Passivopians is a term I coined to describe those who militantly advocate that they and everyone else passively rely upon what is in essence a naive, utopian belief that good citizens should passively rely upon the wisdom and power of government to do what it, in its infinite wisdom, deems best for them-- Jim Wrenn, editor@polisat.com. © 2000

Moms Against Guns-- Motherhood Eclipsed by Activism  
(Mother's Day limericks)(du20000514-01)
    The moms-against-guns claim statistics 
    are proof we need anti-gun fixes
    Their glib use of stats 
    obscures the real facts 
    about which they're cleverly picky.
    As part of their mantra they say ...  
    that "thirteen kids die ev'ry day,
    Because there are not 
    enough trigger-locks ... " 
    as if that's the accident rate.
    But all but a few of those deaths 
    are products of criminal quests.
    And crime-deaths are not 
    prevented by locks 
    'cause thugs don't make safety their test.
    The accident rate they don't say-- 
    It's less than one every four days.
    Of course that is bad, 
    but what is more sad? 
    That air-bags killed one-fifty-eight !
    And why did those air-bag deaths happen? 
    The gov'ment required us to have 'em !
    And how did we lose 
    the freedom to choose 
    our own way to have self-protection?
    It started with such good intentions 
    soon after the seat-belt's invention.
    Some wouldn't choose 
    their seat-belts to use, 
    so then we got air-bag mandation
    Like those who presumed air-bags best, 
    the anti-gun moms won't confess
    That really their goal 
    is that we be told just 
    how we should care for ourselves
    Those anti-gun moms love statistics ...  
    except those that show they're complicit:
    Few kids do crime 
    with mothers full-time 
    unlike those whose moms are careerists.
    And since very few kids do crimes 
    when raised by their mothers full-time
    More could be saved 
    if more moms would say 
    "I'll put my kids first all the time"
    It's clear that such one simple choice 
    by more moms to heed nature's voice
    Would save far more lives 
    than all the things tried 
    since day-care became their first choice.
    The much lower rate of youth crime 
    was when most moms mothered full-time.
    All children thirst 
    to have Mama first 
    instead of just "quality" time.
    I'm thankful my wife said to me:  
    "A mother full-time I will be."
    And she had no fear 
    to quit her career 
    so she could fulfill our kids' needs
    And so to those mothers whose voice 
    is loudest in favor of choice,
    I recommend 
    the place to begin 
    is listening to nature's own voice.
    If follower-moms would just stop 
    behaving like sheep in a flock
    They won't need to guess 
    to know what is best 
    to help their kids get to the top.
    The number of kids this would save 
    would vastly exceed their parade.
    More would receive 
    the love that they need 
    and fewer would go to their graves.
    Of course moms aren't solely to blame 
    'cause fathers deserve lots of blame.
    Many beget and 
    then just forget 
    and leave their poor offspring in shame .
    Too many lasses and lads 
    have fathers but never have dads
    They just plant their seed, 
    then gutlessly leave
     their kids to be lonely and sad.
    The view we must bring back again 
    is no-wedlock births are a shame.
    To fight the good fight, 
    admit Quayle was right, 
    and never mock daddies again 
© 2000