September 1, 2007--
In wake of Gonzales resignation, former Defense Secretary Rumsfeld spends Labor Day holiday on top-secret mission at Gitmo perfecting WretchBoarding to replace waterboarding.
Not to be outdone by the New York Times, PoliSat.Com releases exclusive video of former Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld spending the Labor Day holiday (in the wake of the Gonzales resignation) on a top-secret mission at Gitmo to perfect and complete the transition from waterboarding to wretchboarding as the method of choice for interrogating detainees at Guantanamo Bay. Although the New York Times and ABC News initially released information about Rumsfeld's top-secret mission, PoliSat.Com's Washington Bureau Drawer Chief obtained exclusive access to video of Rumsfeld actually working at Gitmo. Meanwhile, Alberto Gonzales denied having authorized Rumsfeld's top-secret mission while Attorney General. On the Left, critics of Gonzales point out the obvious fact that his last name begins with "G" as does "Gitmo" or "Guantanamo." In contrast, critics of Gonzales on the Right point out the obvious fact that his first name begins with "A" as does "Albatross."
Supporters of Rumsfeld say the New York Times' exposure of his top-secret mission at Gitmo has destroyed its effectiveness. However, the video obtained by PoliSat.Com shows the contrary. (To the dismay of PoliSat.Com, lesser-quality versions of this video have already begun circulating on YouTube.) Indeed, this formerly-top-secret mission having become public may have a powerful deterrent effect on potential terrorists once they realize that upon being captured, they'll be subjected to WretchBoarding (or "Water-Boarding") at Gitmo-- a far more terrifying fate than facing the prospect of the comparatively mild form of interrogation known as "waterboarding" or "water-boarding."
It appears this "WretchBoarding" for Rumsfeld is the second in what apparently will become a long series of top-secret missions in his capacity as Former Defense Secretary. The first such top-secret assignment was "Operation Assisted Suicide," in which the first mission was code-named "Buurka Streeper."
Have a safe Labor Day holiday and remember to show thanks to our troops and support organizations that support them. Also remember, at PoliSat.Com, all satire is commentary, but all commentary isn't satire.
--Jim Wrenn, Editor at PoliSat.Com.