Cheney-Edwards debate looms large after Bush-Kerry debate: John Edwards' slogan to be "Two Johns for Every American"; Dick Cheney's slogan to be "Two Johns are Two Johns."
Many political experts believe the first Bush-Kerry debate raised the stakes for the Cheney-Edwards debate. Though the usual political skullduggery, PoliSat.Com has managed to eavesdrop on the preparations in both camps for the Cheney-Edwards debate. Based on this undetected, top-level access, our Washington Bureau Drawer Chief has filed this report.
Edwards will make a subtle change in his "Two Americas" theme. Adapting proven new-deal slogans (a chicken in every pot and a car in every garage), Edwards's slogan in the debate will be "Two Johns for Every American." Some members of Edwards' staff objected to such slogan on the ground that every American already has two johns, but Edwards quickly explained that unlike the two johns that most Americans already have, he and Kerry will be environmentally friendly Johns.
Kerry offered to send his makeup expert to help Edwards looks his best for the debate but Edwards' wife send a polite "no-thank you" note to Kerry. According to reliable sources, the note said, "I don't want viewers to see my John flushed." Kerry sent a note back to her offering to send his manicurist, but she sent a reply saying, "No thanks-- I already have one."
Cheney's slogan will be "Two Johns for Two Johns." Some of his advisors considered this slogan too subtle-- perhaps even too nuanced-- for undecided voters. Cheney's argument will be that rather than there being a need for "Two Johns for Every American," America needs two johns for the two Johns. One of Cheney's advisors asked, "Where were you when you came up with this slogan?" Cheney explained that among the most unpopular things in America today are environmentally-friendly johns.
Most experts expect Cheney to continue his low-key speaking style and for Edwards to continue his high-key style. Some experts expect Cheney to take the "low road" and for Edwards to play the role of hatchet-man for Kerry. Either way, the debate promises to present stark contrasts.
To illustrate PoliSat.Com's prescience in foreseeing the "Two Johns" theme, we're reprising our March 2, 2004, animation (above, right), in which PoliSat.Com predicted Kerry would select John Edwards rather than Hillary Clinton as his running mate.
Donate your frequent-flier
miles to military personnel to return home from port of reentry on leave:
·support our troops, support Bush, support Cheney, support victory in Iraq, support victory in Afghanistan, Clinton Liebrary, http://PoliSat.Com , PoliSatDOTcom, Salute America's Heroes, Fallen Heroes Fund, oppose Gore's Global Warming theory, support milblogs, Michael Yon, Pat Dollard, BlackFive, MilBlogs, MilBlogging, Michael Yon, Mudville Gazette, HotAir.Com, JawaReport, PajamasMedia , VictoryCaucus , VetsForFreedom , FreedomsWatch , DayByDayCartoon , WrennCom.Com , Video , Political Satire, Politics, News, oppose MoveOn.Org, oppose Code Pink, oppose DailyKos, oppose ANSWER, support PoliSat.Com, support WrennCom.Com, ·
Other sites that feature PoliSat.Com's Political Satire/Commentary-- Click here to view our Affiliates page.