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Shocking Robbery Proves Need for Breast-Control Laws.

November 21, 2014 (OPE)

By Jim Wrenn, Editor, PoliSat.Com; PoliticalXray.Com 

(Click image above for larger version)

By Kommisar of Fatwas:  

          As our Progressive friends (who, as the enemies our pro-limited-government enemy are our friends) understand, we Shariaists (and our Progressive comrades) must continue to focus media attention on all news events that distract American LIV's (Low Information Voters) and Millennials not yet infected by METUGRICUNA from issues such as border security, Obama's anti-"anti-terrorism," Obama's IRS persecution of limited-government non-profits, Obama's pre-Benghazi ineptitude and post-Benghazi subterfuge, Obama's EPA implementation of the substantive equivalents of the cap-and-trade legislation rejected even by the Progressive One Party State during Obama's first two years in office, Obama's Fast and Furious operation designed to covertly lay the groundwork for legislation to virtually nullify the right to bear arms, the Global Warming  Climate Change Claim-It-Changes theory as the basis for using environmentalism to de-capitalize capitalism, the Gruberization of LIVs to enable ObamaCare to establish "health care" as the mechanism for enabling state control of all aspects of human life, and our Progressive allies' anti-Islamophobia campaign for tolerance of Sharia (as their alliance with us as an enemy of their pro-limited-government enemy). Accordingly, with knowledge that most LIVs derive their knowledge of current events, history, science, etc. from searching You-Know-Whoogle and and from social media such as Twitter and Facebook, I draw attention to a "shocking" news report with obvious "sex appeal" to LIVs that is wholly unrelated to any of those issues:

          Regarding the shocking  robbery in a pharmacy by a lactationally engorged woman who opened her blouse, "pulled out" one of her engorged breasts, and sprayed breast milk into the clerk's eyes to prevent him from seeing her other hand removing cash from the cash-register drawer he had opened with an expectation that she would be paying for a "breast pump" she had said she wanted to buy, what I (as the Kommisar of Fatwas) find to be most shocking is that it took this shocking robbery to make some of our Progressive allies finally recognize what we who support Sharia have known for centuries: There must be strict breast-control laws:

But not all of our Progressive allies have experienced this epiphany:

          Noted lactational-advocacy author Gabrielle Palmer strenuously objected to any proposal for any "breast-control laws." Regarding such proposals, she said: "That's not what I meant in my book subtitled:  "When Breasts Are Bad for Business." 
          Also objecting to Bloomberg's proposal to ban "high-capacity breasts," Hillary Clinton made it clear that "high-capacity breasts" deserve admiration rather than condemnation:

          Rebuking Bloomberg for his proposal, Sen. Elizabeth Fauxcohontas Warren said, "To ban high-capacity breasts would constitute a sexist insult to me since I once had 'high-capacity' ([i]i.e.[/i], when I was the first woman to take the N.J. Bar exam while breastfeeding) and would also constitute an insult to the memory of the predecessor of the man whom I defeated in the last Senate race in Massachussetts, who, in his heyday, was best known for his high-capacity Man-Boobs":

(click image above for larger version)

          Even worse, it appears that Australia, which had until recently been making steadily Progressive progress toward Sharia by equating opposition to Sharia as "Islamophobia," has now afforded political recognition for "the Right to Bare Breasts" -- and especially at political and electoral events (even though they still reject the "Right to Bear Arms"):

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Indeed, an objective observer would say that Australian politics have gone "topless" and are now dominated by high-capacity breasts.

          Sharia may be on the verge of losing Australia, but at least our Progressive brethren in the U.S. are still providing us an "anti-Islamophobia" foothold for tolerating and promoting Sharia in the U.S.  But even our Progressive brethren in America still fail to recognize that the problem is with breasts rather than merely "high-capacity" breasts and that institutionalization of the burqa as the proper mode of dress for women in America would solve both problems simultaneously: 

First, with respect to both normal breasts and high-capacity breasts, the nature and design of a Sharia-compliant burqa affords women a "concealed carry" method that also would prevent a lactating woman from "[whipping out a] breast" quickly enough to enable her to spray breast-milk into a victim's eyes to enable her to rob the victim;

Second, the burqa would also prevent irresponsible "brandishing" of breasts; 

Third, the burqa would also prevent "accidental discharge" high-capacity breasts as well as normal breasts.

          Finally, don't forget the importance of the "War Against Perky Breasts" by our Committees for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice:

For larger images and the entirety of the above installment, click the permanent link below:

http://PoliSat.Com/Shocking-Robbery-Proves-Need-for-Breast-Control-Laws.htm.

OR

http://polisat.com/DailyPoliticalSatire-Commentary/Archives2014/du20y14m11d21-01.htm 

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