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Gore Explains How Right-Wing Sabotage Made Earth-Hour Lights-Out an Epic Fail on 3-26-2011.
By Jim
Wrenn,
Editor and Washington Bureau Drawer Chief at PoliSat.Com.
March 27, 2011--
Al Gore issues a "red alert" to all progressives explaining how right-wing sabotage made Earth-Hour Lights-Out and epic fail on 3-26-2011 instead of the huge success it would have been absent such sabotage. Even the trustworthy, progressive news media are reporting that the Green Movement is losing ground rather than gaining ground. The text of Gore's "red alert" is set forth immediately below:
Ordinarily, one would ask, "How can that be in light of the GAIA-worshiping
mindset that AVATAR's Neytiri inculcated into the heads of virtually all
under-40 males-- not to even mention "Jake's" appeal not only to all
women under 40 but also to all cougars? At Gore Carbon-FootPrint-Offset
Marketing, we knew there could be only one answer: Sabotage by the
right-wing, so we assigned our top-flight team to investigate.
To guarantee virtually universal participation in Earth-Hour Lights-Out among males under age 40, we created a special video titled "Neytiri Naked Truth for GAIA" in our special "agw" top-level domain. My "red- alert" notice (see image to the immediate right) includes a reduced-size copy of the click-to-view-video image we created to draw young men to that site for Lights-Out Earth-Hour on March 26, 2011 as surely as honey lures bears. (A copy of that click-to-view campaign image appears below-left in this article.) There is no doubt that yesterday would have been the most successful Earth-Hour Lights-Out since its inception were it not for the sabotage of our project by Earth-Hating, Nature-Hating, GAIA-Hating Right Wingers. How did they do it? Continue reading for an explanation provided to the media by our experts.
Back in 2009-- in order to combat the "ClimateGate" propaganda being
spewed by the Right Wing, Gore Carbon-Footprint-Offset Marketing, L.L.C,
acquired the top-level domain ".agw" which stands for Anthropogenic
Global Warming (and also stands for Al Gore Wealth). That top-level domain
provided a platform from which we could market material especially likely to get
inside the heads of young men. We modeled it on the highly successful
"Rock the Vote" and "MTV" get-out-the-vote campaigns that
played such a vital role in our victory in 2008 by sexually provocative videos
convincing young males that gorgeous gals "wouldn't have sex" with
"conservatives" or "Rethuglicans." The same
approach became the foundation for our plan for guaranteeing success for
Earth-Hour Lights-Out 2011, and it would have worked except that right-wingers
hacked into the domain and redirected the traffic from the interactive link we
designed -- i.e., www.Neytiri_Naked_Truth_For_GAIA.agw
-- to www.politicalxray.com/Neytiri_Naked_Truth_For_GAIA.htm
instead. And what's at that site? A
terrible, lame video titled Neytiri Sings AVATAR to the tune of the
iconic song, Camelot from the play and movie of the same name.
According to Gore, the software engineers and hardware engineers are working feverishly to create a hard fix for the damage done by the right-wingers to the agw domain and to our ongoing efforts to convince young males that hot chicks like guys who support our AGW theory. Said one of the software engineers, "It's hard work but someone must do it."
--Jim Wrenn, Editor at PoliSat.Com.
Permanent links to this installment:
http://polisat.com/DailyPoliticalSatire-Commentary/Archives2011/du20y11m03d27-01.htm
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