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Al Gore wages war of words for lights out not merely Earth Hour against "flat Earth" skeptics about Global Warming.·
By Jim
Wrenn,
Editor and Washington Bureau Drawer Chief at PoliSat.Com.
April 5, 2008--
In the wake of the success of "Lights Out" during "Earth Hour" on March 29, 2008, fierce debate rages within the top echelons of at The Gorbels Cube·ºº over how long the DOOMERS·ºª serving as research specialists in ACME Science·ªª in academia's high-tech-research subsidiaries of the UN-IPCC as well as PAR Reporters·ªº in the SCMS Media·º¹ can prevent the proletariat from being persuaded by heretics who dare dispute the WHAM-BAM METHANE·º² theory of "Climate Change" revealed to the world by GAIA HOME·º³· Some within the Progressive Politburo fear growing numbers in the proletariat confronted with even newer manifestations of long-available evidence of factors controlling major, long-term climate change as being forces of nature beyond the control of humans may begin to doubt GAIA HOME's WHAM-BAM METHANE theory.
Others Progressive Politburo members remain confident the
skills of DOOMERS applying their ACME Science skills to quickly
generate "countervailing" arguments with an imprimatur of science to
"negate" such evidence as well as the skills of the PAR Reporters in the SCMS Media to
promptly "report" the new "findings" by ACME Science will enable the Progressive
Movement to keep the proletariat content with "lights out."
Also, to help discredit scientific skeptics, GAIA HOME has embarked on a campaign to label them as believers that Mother Earth is "flat." Gorbel's latest internet "ad" to de-bunk the "Mother Earth Is Flat" heresy helps reinforce PAR Reporters' identification of skeptics as Environmental Heretics. Indeed, there are reports that Gore has, or has control over as much as a $300,000,000 budget to wage a relentless campaign against skeptics and in favor of his WHAM-BAM METHANE theory. (Regarding the $300,000,000, watch the recent interview of Gore by Leslie Stahl on "60 Minutes, the link for which near the end of the paragraph below near the video of an excerpt from that same interview.)
Additionally, high-profile PAR Reporters, role-playing as "investigative reporters" on "hard-hitting news programs" such as "60 Minutes" have been quite helpful in conveying GAIA HOME's assertion that the only people who deny that WHAM-BAM METHANE is scientifically conclusive are those who believe Mother Earth is "flat."
For example, in a recent, "hard-hitting" interview of Al Gore on "60 Minutes" as the world's leading expert on "Global Warming," when PAR Reporter Leslie Stahl, role-playing as a scientifically literate "investigative" reporter, "set the table" for Gore to caricature those who disbelieve his theory as being like those who still believe Mother Earth is "flat," he only "skeptic" she identified was "Dick Cheney" after feigning an "I'm searching my memory" expression. (Of course she knew there are numerous, highly reputable scientists who are skeptical, so say the least, but proving her metal as a good PAR Reporter, she discreetly avoided naming or describing any skeptic othe than Dick Cheney. For this, she deserves the Order of Gorbel Medal.) (To view other aspects of Stahl's prolonged wet kisses to Al, go here, and here.) (Note: Please excuse the unprogressive description of Stahl's kiss to Gore as having been "wet." Mother Earth would not approve. On the other hand, Truth is Truth.)
. After listening to these portions of that interview in which Gore makes an impassioned plea for reason and rational debate in politics, watch the video to the right to view an example of Gore at his reasonable best in one of his most spell-binding pleas for rational discourse in politics. It's certainly deserving of a Nobel Prize in Political Discourse.
Fortunately for the Progressive Movement, those are not the only examples of invaluable assistance from PAR Reporters in the SCMS Media. For another example, the recent "report" of "findings" (linked above) that a "10% reduction" in Iceland's "icecap" over the last 100 years has taken so much weight off Mother Earth as a result of "Global Warming" that powerful volcanic material beneath Iceland has thereby been able to "push up" the land as a prelude to catastrophic volcanic activity. Could this be an example of deducing that a patient is sick because he's in bed? Of course not according to ACME Science, which, to the good fortune of the Progressive Movement, distracts the proletariat from asking:
"Couldn't increased upward pressure and movement of magma below Iceland cause a modest amount of heat to radiate upward (they may remember that "old" science taught them that heat rises) and thereby contribute to 'melting' of the 'icecap' as an effect of what is a prelude to future volcanic activity?"
Reports such as the one linked above are invaluable in making any member of the proletariat scientifically literate enough to ask that question feel embarrassed as though he had asked, "Is the patient in bed because he's sick?" However, a potentially glaring flaw in the Global-Warming-causes-volcanic-activity argument sent the ACME Science researchers into computer-modeling overdrive to counter the flaw before a smart proletarian puts two and two together. What's the flaw? It can be told now that ACME Science has a counter-argument to be published by PAR Reporters as new "findings" that "reinforce" GAIA HOME's WHAM-BAM METHANE theory. First, the flaw, then the counter argument:
Flaw in Theory of Global Warming Causing Volcanic Activity By Melting of Glaciers And Thereby Reducing Downward Pressure on Magma:
The land at Yellowstone Park has been rising and warming substantially over the last 100 years, but there has not been any glacier on Yellowstone Park for many, many thousands of years. So, it's impossible to blame the volcanic prelude in Yellowstone on the "melting" of glaciers by "Global Warming." Instead, it's beyond dispute that steady increases in upward pressure from magma beneath the Park is causing such heating and rising without any "melting of a glacier" to "reduce the weight" and downward gravitational pressure against the rising magma..
Counter-Argument to Flaw in Global-Warming-Causes-Volcanism theory:
The capitalist history books have falsely taught gullible American students that there has not been a glacier over YellowStone Park for many thousands of years, but we know from the folklore of the descendants of the Post-Pangean/Pre-Columbian Natives of The Land Far North of Aztland (i.e. what the Dead European Plunderers called "Wyoming" as they carried westward their obscene concept of "property") that the Great Spirit had kept a huge glacier right on top of Yellowstone to keep pressure on the magma chamber to prevent an eruption as long as the area were to be inhabited by a culture understanding that "man belongs to the land instead of the other way around," but when the Dead European Plunderers began moving Westward, the steam and carbon exhausts from the Iron Horse that raped the Wilderness also warmed the climate and thereby melted the Great Yellowstone Glacier. We can count on DOOMERS working as PAR Reporters to repeatedly report this with the standard preface, "Scientists say ...."
How will the currently raging debate end amongst believers in The Gorbels Cube? It's too soon to say for certain but the characteristically uncurious nature of the proletariat and the ease with which their attention and loyalty (and votes) can be purchased by promises of "health care," "taxing the rich" and punishing Big Oil gives great encouragement to Progressive Leaders. One question remains, however. When, in the quietude of the voting booth, the proletariat think about those "Red Phone Calls at 3:00 a.m." and ask themselves who they want in charge "When the [stuff] hits the fan," for whom will they vote despite what they may have told pollsters and their friends?
--Jim Wrenn, Washington Bureau Drawer Chief at PoliSat.Com and frequent spy on the Maximum Leader at The Gorbel's Cube.
Footnotes:
·ºª· "DOOMERS" is an acronym for the "Divine Order of Mother Earth Righteous Supplicants."
·ªª· "ACME Science" is an acronym/term for "Advanced Computer Modeling Eviscerating Science."
·ªº· "PAR Reporters" is an acronym/term for "Progressive Argument Regurgitation Reporters."
·ºº· If the link directly to The Gorbels Cube were to fail, here's an alternate link: http://PoliSat.Com/TheGorbelsCube.htm.
·º¹· "SCMS Media" is an acronym for the So-Called "MainStream Media."
·º²· "WHAM-BAM METHANE" is an acronym for "Woman-Hating, Anti-Misanthropic Bullies And Misogynistic Men Are Making Mother Earth Too Hot And Environmentally Naked."
·º³· "GAIA HOME" is an acronym for "Gore As Infinitely Attentive Husband Of Mother Earth."
--Jim Wrenn, Editor at PoliSat.Com.
Permanent links to this installment:
http://polisat.com/DailyPoliticalSatire-Commentary/Archives2008/du20y08m04d05-01.htm
or in updates at http://PoliSat.Com/TheGorbelsCube.htm.
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