April 28, 2004:  #01  Political Satire/Commentary where satire is always commentary but commentary isn't always satire™ 
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National Security Announcement from Hillary Clinton: The Hillary Workout Edition departs from established tradition-- A Tour de Force Lesson by Rodham on Methods for Scraping the Bottom--i.e., How to use an interview with mid-eastern, America-hating media to malign George Bush's motives in Iraq and further undermine abilities of American troops in peril to earn the trust of Iraqis. ·

    Hillary Clinton is pioneering the "broadening" of the post-Cold-War frontier in foreign policy.  How?  By making self-serving partisan claims (to the America-hating mid-eastern media) that provide maximum grist for anti-American propaganda to encourage and inflame our adversaries and undermine the abilities of our troops in peril to gain the trust of non-fanatical mid-eastern people perched on the fence between passive, fatalistic acceptance of the yoke of fascistic terrorism on one side and support for Coalition forces seeking to free them from such tyranny on the other side.  According to Mehr News, Tehran, Iran Dateline April 26, 2004:

Hillary Clinton, the New York Democrat senator, told the London-based Arab daily
Asharq al-Awsat said that the Bush Administration had not openly and clearly told the U.S. people about the human and financial tolls of the war on Iraq.

The democrat Senator stressed that the U.S. is trapped in the quagmire of Iraq. It can not free itself from the country.

Referring to the Bush Administration policies as arrogant and insolent, the wife of the former U.S. president further added that Bush is not willing to admit his mistakes in Iraq, the grave mistakes that have endangered the lives of both the Iraqi people and the U.S. servicemen alike.

The mistakes have also threatened peace and stability in the region, she further explained.

    Who will take heart in the mid-eastern media's reporting of her comments?  American troops struggling to maintain trust they've gained, and regain trust they've lost, among the non-fanatical majority of Iraqis?  Certainly not.  The Baathist dead-enders trying to slaughter our troops and anyone not opposing our troops?  Of course.  The fanatical minority among the Shiites in Iraq?  Of course.  Al Qaeda?  Of course.  Islamic Jihad?  Of course.  Hammas?  Of course.  Hezbollah?  Of course.  The fascistic mullahs in Iran?  Of course.  The Baathists in Syria?  Of course.  Yassir Arafat?  Of course.  Ansar al Islam?  Of course.  The French?  Of course.  

    Perhaps Hillary will take inspiration from Jane Fonda by producing an "intellectual workout" video tape to teach us intellectual "fatheads" who find her tactics offensive to "slim down" by embracing her radical departure from the non-partisan nature of our foreign policy that was prevalent among those in the "loyal opposition" until Reagan became president.  Surely we dunderheads who lack the intellectual capacity to understand what is so obvious to the smartest woman -- no, smartest human-- on the planet-- no in all of human history-- could benefit from such "intellectual workout" to enable us to learn how encouraging our worst enemies by disparaging our capacity and will to defeat them is so much better than the reverse.

Hillary's Workout Tape.

You know me as Senator Clinton,
a woman of great erudition
with talent to make
instructional tapes
called "Hillary's Workout Edition."

My "Workout" reveals the positions
for breaking the mold of tradition
with methods to rip
non-partisanship
from statements on foreign positions.

To teach these positions I must
display how to parry and thrust
at Bush so the world
perceives him a burl
too stupid to merit their trust.

This tour de force lesson from Rodham
explains how all gains I have gotten:  
To navigate shoals
with partisan goals,
one must have the will to scrape bottom.

So-what if my words to the press
in mid-eastern lands that detest
our goals in Iraq
encourages not
the people by terror repressed?

So-what if such words cause dismay
among troops dispatched in harm's way
implying we'll not
succeed in Iraq?
It pleases my Leftist soiree.

--Jim Wrenn, Editor@PoliSat.Com.

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