To avoid Gorbachev's mistake in destroying socialism with perestroika meant to save it, Obama's Obamachev persona uses Obamastroika to save socialism by destroying capitalism.·

By Jim Wrenn, 
Editor and Washington Bureau Drawer Chief at PoliSat.Com. 
March 24, 2009--

            Although some progressives and leftists are "criticizing" Barack Obama for being too "centrist," they know he shares important traits with another historical figure forced to lead his country through a severe crisis and they likewise know he knows how to avoid the fatal mistake such other leader made.  The historical figure is, of course, Mikhail Gorbachev.  . 

            .Barack Obama recognizes that Mikhail Gorbachev made the mistake of destroying socialism in process of trying to save it with perestroika.  But Obama's Obamachev persona will enable him to avoid Gorbachev's mistake.  How?  Rather than destroying socialism in an attempt to save it, Obamachev's "Obamastroika" will save socialism by destroying capitalism.     

            Eager to be back in the limelight, Gorbachev held a press-conference to say how honored he felt to be compared to Barack Obama.  Indeed, he said he was "eager to meet with O'Bama to give him some advice," and he added, "Furthermore, I've never met an African American with an Irish name."   (He also told reporters "on deep background" that meeting O'Bama would give him a chance to "get away from" all those "Al Gore" people who are "still clinging to their Global Warming theory.")   

            In a news-media coup d'etat , as PoliSat.Com's Washington Bureau Drawer Chief I obtained an exclusive interview with Barack Obama in his Obamachev persona.  As he led me into the Oval Office, I noticed a teleprompter packed in a storage box, so I expected we'd have to wait for someone to arrive to set it up for the interview.  Out of respect for the office, I told him I had no objection if he were to use a teleprompter in conducting the interview, but in his disarmingly affable manner, he said: 

             "Oh, I won't need that today because I'm wearing the Beta version of a new set of contact lenses equipped with wireless technology to display directly onto my retinas the text of what I'm to say.  The secret service just finished testing them yesterday, so you'll be the first pundit to interview me while I'm testing them.  We're still trying to decide what to call them.  I like 'TeleBalls,' but Michelle prefers 'CLWBIWDTBTTDOTR,' which is an acronym for 'Contact Lenses With Built-In Wireless Displays That Beam Teleprompter Text Directly Onto the Retina.'   The Secret Service wanted to use 'TOTUS,' but it appears that Rush Limbaugh and/or some blogger has already coined that term as an acronym for 'Teleprompter Of The United States.'  Someone said Rush Limbaugh and/or some blogger had suggested 'ObamaPrompter,' so we can't use that.  Also there's a blogger who's already using that term.  

            Even worse, it look's like you 'stole' the 'ObamaPrompter' term from someone else, but I'm amazed that you had managed to sneak onto the White House grounds to capture my stroll with British Prime Minister Gordon Brown as I escorted him to the Oval Office to pick-up some NetFlix instead of having to order Marine One to take me to the nearest Blockbuster.  Then I was wearing a different prototype, which was quite uncomfortable due to the need for vice-like screws to secure the holding bars onto my head and keep the teleprompter screens properly positioned for easy reading.  I called that prototype the 'Head-Prompter,' in honor of Bill Clinton."

            I told him I had read opinions by progressives describing him as "America's Gorbachev" with respect to the fact that he is being, as Gorbachev was, forced by history to govern a country engulfed in a severe crisis but also describing him as a leader too smart to make the mistakes Gorbachev made.  I then asked him to explain what he thinks were Gorbachev's mistakes in order of importance.

            "Gorbachev's first mistake," he said, "was not using a teleprompter except on formal occasions, but, of course, the technology for contact-lens teleprompters had not been invented yet, nor had the head-attachment systems recently designed for me by the Secret Service.  Indeed, Joe Biden told me that Gorbachev would have 'won' the 'kitchen' debate with Richard Nixon if only he had been using a teleprompter."

            "Gorbachev's second mistake was not finding a way to boost the confidence and self-esteem of the Soviet people.  I remember that was back when an Eastern European mathematics teacher had invented that 'Rubic's Cube,' which made everyone feel stupid.  Gorbachev should have ordered his engineers to design one that everyone could 'solve' and thereby build their self-esteem.  In fact, a very famous website for progressives features such a cube, which has all Red Squares, which makes it much easier to solve-- in fact, I think it's called "The Peoples Cube."  (More to come.)

--Jim Wrenn, Editor at PoliSat.Com.

Permanent links to this installment: 

http://polisat.com/DailyPoliticalSatire-Commentary/Archives2009/du20y09m03d24-01.htm 

OR

http://PoliSat.Com/Neo-Stroika.htm 

OR

http://PoliSat.Com/Gorbachev.htm 

OR

http://PoliSat.Com/Obamachev.htm 

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