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GM Gore-Mobile from PoliticalXray a.k.a. PoliSat.Com on Vimeo. |
Perhaps you've detected these lines are written in rhythm and rhyme-- If so, cursor-down, 'cause more will be found as limericks in stanzas and lines:
GM
in the Year Twenty-Twelve
proclaims what its lobbying swelled--
inducements to dolts
for purchasing Volts
through offsets on taxes compelled:
We're
hoping our lobbying verve
yields changes for bending the curve
from market commands
(supply and demand),
so Government Planning is served.
Such
offsets are really much mo'
than offsets against taxes owed --
Instead, they are credits
from government debits
disbursed as entitlements owed.
And
also, it's wise to remember
our previous plans to dismember
supply and demand
as much as we can,
so Earth won't get hotter than embers.
Such
things we've accomplished you ought
consider as food for your thoughts--
e.g., we designed
the 'GTxi'
shown here
by the Iowa Hawk:
But
that isn't all-- there are more
examples that brought to the fore
renewable sources
for energy sources
for which we bought patents from Gore.
GM Gore-Mobile from PoliticalXray a.k.a. PoliSat.Com on Vimeo. |
But
now, in our marketing Volts
for purchase by regular folks
we've learned we can't sell
our Volts very well
to others than liberal dolts.
Since
carrots alone cannot fix
this problem, we'll have to use sticks
to punish consumers
not later but sooner
when regular autos they pick.
Inspired
by Al Gore's carbon offsets,
we'll fix it with marketing offsets:
"Buy Volts," we implore,
"but if you buy Fords,
from us you must buy GM OffsetsTM."
For
us (Gov'ment Motors) the goal's
the same as Obama foretold
for coal in '08
(on
video saved):
Destroying
the market for coal.
And
thus, for consumers so bold
as not to support Barack's goal
by purchasing Fords,
our "Offsets" will force
on Ford the same fate to greet coal.
But
yet there's a fly in the ointment
of claiming the Volt will fight warming
since batteries, we know,
in Volts may explode
and burn-- thereby adding to warming.
And
therefore, Al Gore is imploring
our plants to convert for restoring
the Gore-Mobile line
which he had designed
for Methane-Propulsion exploring.
So,
now that we've got your attention,
we yield to Al Gore to dimension
his insights attained
and proudly explain
what led to his Greatest Invention:
I've
long been proposing with zeal
improvement of automobiles
that warming be ended
and so I've invented
a car named the Al Gore Mobile.
I
always stay right up to date
on ev'rything science can make
So I knew of course a new fuel source:
We now can refine human waste.
This
auto will please the whole nation,
'cause no one will need service stations
And if you ask me
just how this can be,
I'll give you a quick explanation:
The
obsolete gasoline tank
will yield to a nice septic tank
And old drivers' seats
become toilet seats
so drivers can fill their own tanks.
For
health, this will lead to improvement
'cause drivers will learn to fine-tune it
by eating more grain
to not have to "strain"
to get 50 miles to the movement.
--Jim Wrenn, Editor and Washington Bureau Drawer Chief at PoliticalXray.Com.
Permanent
Links to this installment:
http://PoliSat.Com/GM-Update-2012.htm.
http://polisat.com/DailyPoliticalSatire-Commentary/Archives2012/du20y12m02d19-01.htm .
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