Left Faces Dilemma: Obama's KMA Booties in Lieu of Boots on the Ground or Code Pink Boobs on the Ground or Aisha Qaddafi Leading Libyan Labians.·
Wrenn, Editor, PoliSat.Com , PoliticalXray.Com .
April 2, 2011--
Libyan lucubration leaves loyal liberals/leftists listlessly looking languished like lurching lemmings lacking lucid lowdown limning lemmas leavening/liquidating Libyan leadership. Should they support Obama's KMATRIW (Kinetic Military Action That Really Isn't War) for booties on the ground, Obama's MIAWAA (Maybe It's A War After All) boots on the ground, Obama's No-Fly Zone, Code Pink's boobs on the ground, or Aisha Qaddafi (or Gaddafi or Ghadafy or Khadafy-- may her spellings be many) Leading Libyan Labian Legions?
Seeking answers to this liturgical litany littering liberal/leftist locales, we interviewed the pre-eminent world-wide spokes-being for progressively globalized collectivism to save The Planet from the ravages of oppression under the jack-booted heels of individual liberty: AVATAR's GAIA Minister Neytiri, who, in place of Al Gore, has become the chief planetary spokes-being for Earth and Mother Nature (also known as GAIA) and globalized, collective harmony. Although she currently maintains her office as GAIA Minister at ThePeoplesCube.Com, she graciously traveled to PoliticalXray Headquarters to speak on behalf of The Planet. Since her movie debut in AVATAR, she, rather than Al Gore, has become the most "trusted" spokes-being for Mother Earth, more correctly known as GAIA. (To view the full-size picture at the left, click here.) Here's what she said:
My fellow latte-drinking, green-limousine-riding, hybrid-jet-flying, brie-cheese eating, carbon-offset-indulgences-buying, Woodstock-loving, free-love loving, peace-loving, GAIA-worshiping, progressive comrades: It is with a sagging heart but firm breasts that stand here today experiencing a quadrilemma in trying to decide which of the following four positions I should support on Libya.
Our Courageous Leader, President Obama, favors (1) his Kinetic Military Action with booties on the ground but not boots on the ground and/or (2) additional Kinetic Military Action as Lord of the Fly-Zone. Our esteemed leaders of Code Pink favor (3) boobs on the ground according to the "Breasts Not Bombs" doctrine. Aisha Qaddafi, the covertly ultra-liberated daughter of the evil dictator Muammar Qaddafi, adamantly asserting that her father is one of the kindest, gentlest cross-dressing Alpha Males on the Planet, is (4) leading the Libyan Labian Legions (see her image in lower right of picture above-left) to prevent the Muslim Brotherhood and al Qaeda from cutting off her head for her having committed the sin of dressing like a Western model (see photograph of Aisha Qaddafi, scroll-down the the image below-right awaiting arrival of one of her BFFs in the European Jet-Set).
Having given careful thought to each of the four options described above (and believing that as an immigrant to Earth from Pandora I can be more objective than can most of my comrades on the left), I have a social-justice responsibility to announce my selection and explain my reasons for doing so. I recognize this is an awesome responsibility, so I channeled not only Mother Earth but also Father Pandora (and also Shirley McLain and Eleanor Roosevelt) to be sure I'm making the most wise decision most harmonious with what would be the wishes of the trees, the rivers, the melting glaciers, the polar bears, and so on.
So, what have I concluded? Option (1) is most suitable at night or during early-morning hours because even in the desert it gets cold, and this option allows the feet to be kept warm and comfy. Option (2) is most suitable on Fridays because they are prayer days and most civilian men will be inside their mosques and thus safe from aerial bombardment, and we know that Sharia is most concerned with men and thus wisely views women as object of their responsibilities-- thus, we know that during such prayer times, the men require their women to remain hidden from public view in safe places. Option (3), which describes females lying face-down for nude sunbathing, should be followed only during internationally recognized cease-fires, which will afford opportunities for much-needed R&R for the courageous men (who would otherwise be busy engaging in combat) to fire their guns into the air in celebratory fashion in order to startle the sun-bathing women into suddenly getting up or turning over. Aisha's leadership of women under option (4) helps remind them how they are especially equipped to enable the courageous men to get the most out of the R&R that typically follows Option (3).
All of these options are culturally sensitive and thus are progressively correct. Thus, they should all be implemented. Our courageous leader, Obama, recognizes that it would be a form of cultural imperialism for the United States to favor options (1) and (2) to the exclusion of options (3) and (4). Option (4) will be especially effective in inspiring young Muslim women to risk being beheaded by followers of the Muslim Brotherhood, al Qaeda or followers of the Iranian Mullahs by emulating the Western, jet-setting lifestyle of daughters of tyrants repressing everyone in order to repress the Brotherhood, al Qaeda et al. [See photograph of Aisha Qaddafi (to the right) awaiting arrival of one of her BFFs in the European Jet-Set.]
As a result, the entire Middle East and the rest of the Islamic world will soon become so much involved in options (3) and (4) that the needs for options (1) and (2) will quickly disappear (is that not our progressive doctrine?), which will help hasten the greatest Next Tuesday of all: All Earthlings will emulate Pandorans by going naked and returning to their natural state of harmonious communion with GAIA, which will enable Obama to retire in peace and contentment and enable Al Gore to assume his rightful role of ruling Earth as the wise Husband of GAIA (especially since he and Tipper split).
--Jim Wrenn, Editor at PoliSat.Com.
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