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Inspired by Al Gore's Carbon Offsets, the New GM's marketing offsets: "Buy here, you're implored, but if you buy Ford, you must purchase 'New' GM-OffsetsTM."·
By
Jim Wrenn,
Editor and Washington Bureau Drawer Chief at PoliSat.Com.
June 4, 2009--
Inspired by Al Gore's Carbon Offsets, the New GM's marketing offsets: "Buy here, you're implored, but if you buy Ford, you must purchase 'New' GM-OffsetsTM." For "New" Gov'ment Motors, the goal's the same as Obama foretold for coal in '08 (on video saved): Destroying the market for coal. And thus, for consumers so bold as not to support Barack's goal by purchasing Fords, our "Offsets" will force on Ford the same fate to greet coal.
.
Today, this installment is serving to update the one on day 30 of May that revealed the "New" Gore Mobile, so scroll-down for "May" and day "30." P.S., one more thing that I ought present as some food for your thoughts: GM has devised the "GTxi" shown here by the Iowa Hawk. I finally close with a note in case as you read what I wrote you deemed the word usage and syntax effusive and think that good English I smote. Perhaps you've detected these lines are written in rhythm and rhyme-- If so, cursor-down, 'cause there will be found these verses in stanzas and lines.
Inspired
by Al Gore's Carbon Offsets,
the New GM's marketing offsets:
"Buy here, you're implored,
but if you buy Ford,
you must purchase 'New' GM-OffsetsTM."
For
"New" Gov'ment Motors, the goal's
the same as Obama foretold
for coal in '08
(on
video saved):
Destroying
the market for coal.
And
thus, for consumers so bold
as not to support Barack's goal
by purchasing Fords,
our "Offsets" will force
on Ford the same fate to greet coal.
P.S.,
one more thing that I ought
present as some food for your thoughts:
GM has devised
the "GTxi"
shown here
by the Iowa Hawk.
--Jim Wrenn, Editor at PoliSat.Com.
Permanent links to this installment:
http://polisat.com/DailyPoliticalSatire-Commentary/Archives2009/du20y09m06d04-01.htm
OR
http://PoliSat.Com/GM-OffsetTM.htm .
The new General Motors reports proceedings in bankruptcy court by gov'ment contrived will keep it alive as bond-holding folks they extort.·
By
Jim Wrenn,
Editor and Washington Bureau Drawer Chief at PoliSat.Com.
May 30, 2009--
And now Gen'ral Motors reports: "Proceedings in bankruptcy court will keep us 'alive' by schemes we've contrived so bond-holding folks we extort." "Although as a comp'ny, we're neutered, we're forced to say 'thanks' for the sutures. So back we will bounce, we hereby announce our plans for our corporate future:
Our name, which was once 'Gen'ral Motors," hereafter will be 'Gov'ment
Motors." Although we'll proclaim in charge we remain, the "boss"
of our boss is the POTUS. Obeying our
leader, the POTUS, the car by the "new" General Motors will win the
endeavor for mileage much better than Hondas or even Toyotas.
You ask how such automobile can beat what competitors field: For mileage increasing, the answer is easy: produce only Green Gore Mobiles. We've fired all those dumb engineers of "Hummers" that Mother Earth fears and hired as our mentor the Greatest Inventor Al Gore, whom The Earth doth revere.
So, now that we've got your attention, we yield to Al Gore to dimension his insights attained and proudly explain what led to his Greatest Invention:
I've long been proposing with zeal improvement of automobiles that warming be ended and so I've invented a car named the Al Gore Mobile.
I always stay right up to date on ev'rything science can make So I knew of course a new fuel source: We now can refine human waste. This auto will please the whole nation, 'cause no one will need service stations And if you ask me just how this can be, I'll give you a quick explanation:
The obsolete gasoline tank will yield to a nice septic tank And old drivers' seats become toilet seats so drivers can fill their own tanks. For health, this will lead to improvement 'cause drivers will learn to fine-tune it by eating more grain to not have to "strain" to get 50 miles to the movement.
And thus ends a legend of yore-- the great Gen'ral Motors of yore. It's sad to observe demise of its verve and loss to disciples of Gore. I finally close with a note in case as you read what I wrote you deemed the word usage and syntax effusive and think that good English I smote. Perhaps you've detected these lines are written in rhythm and rhyme-- If so, cursor-down, 'cause there will be found these verses in stanzas and lines.
And
now Gen'ral Motors reports:
"Proceedings in bankruptcy court
will keep us 'alive'
by schemes we've contrived
so bond-holding folks we extort."
"Although
as a comp'ny, we're neutered,
we're forced to say 'thanks' for the sutures.
So back we will bounce,
we hereby announce
our plans for our corporate future:
Our
name, which was once 'Gen'ral Motors,"
hereafter will be 'Gov'ment Motors."
Although we'll proclaim
in charge we remain,
the "boss" of our boss is the POTUS.
Obeying
our leader, the POTUS,
the car by the "new" General Motors
will win the endeavor
for mileage much better
than Hondas or even Toyotas.
You
ask how such automobile
can beat what competitors field:
For mileage increasing,
the answer is easy:
produce only Green Gore Mobiles.
We've
fired all those dumb engineers
of "Hummers" that Mother Earth fears
and hired as our mentor
the Greatest
Inventor
Al Gore, whom The
Earth doth revere.
So,
now that we've got your attention,
we yield to Al Gore to dimension
his insights attained
and proudly explain
what led to his Greatest Invention:
I've
long been proposing with zeal
improvement of automobiles
that warming be ended
and so I've invented
a car named the Al Gore Mobile.
I
always stay right up to date
on ev'rything science can make
So I knew of course a new fuel source:
We now can refine human waste.
This
auto will please the whole nation,
'cause no one will need service stations
And if you ask me
just how this can be,
I'll give you a quick explanation:
The
obsolete gasoline tank
will yield to a nice septic tank
And old drivers' seats
become toilet seats
so drivers can fill their own tanks.
For
health, this will lead to improvement
'cause drivers will learn to fine-tune it
by eating more grain
to not have to "strain"
to get 50 miles to the movement.
And
thus ends a legend of yore--
the great Gen'ral Motors of yore.
It's sad to observe
demise of its verve
and loss to disciples of Gore.
--Jim Wrenn, Editor at PoliSat.Com.
Permanent links to this installment:
http://polisat.com/DailyPoliticalSatire-Commentary/Archives2009/du20y09m05d30-01.htm
OR
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