New Hampshire Primary forces Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama into brief post-Iowa-Caucus political duet in harmony ending in off-key political knock-fest.·
January 8, 2008-- By Jim Wrenn, Editor and Washington Bureau Drawer Chief at PoliSat.Com.
In the wake of Hillary's teary-eyed speech yesterday and her appearance in the Washington Post without makeup (a degree of cruelty to her not shown by the Washington Post since it displayed a picture of her in connection with a report in June, 2005, about how she "stays awake all night"), political experts were shocked by the bawdiness of her attire and absence of her wrinkles in this video-duet with Obama. The sensuousness of Hillary's appearance is this video inspired the well-known "Obama Girl" rival, who now calls himself "Hillary Guy," to release his previous "I Love You" Video to Hillary. However, after "Hillary Guy" made disparaging remarks about Obama in a recent statement to the press, Obama retaliated by releasing a video from the Archives of the Clinton Liebrary showing the true nature of the relationship between "Hillary Guy" and Hillary.
Learning about how "negative" the battle between Hillary and Obama had become, Al Gore urged them to follow his example of civility in political discourse. PoliSat.Com tried to contact Gore for further comment, but he was already en route to the next Global Warming Concert.
Meanwhile, well-known opponents of Rudy Guiliani, John McCain, and Fred Thompson, not wanting to be out-done by "Obama Girl," "Ron Paul Girl," and "Hillary Guy" re-released the "Usama Girl" video. However, Nancy Pelosi quickly responded with a statement denouncing the release of the "Usama Girl" video as a form of "WretchBoarding," an interrogation technique being currently being used in an ultra-top-secret program being run covertly by former Defense Secretary Rumsfeld. Virtually all experts agree that the effects of "Wretchboarding" are so much more terrifying than the now-discredited practice of "Water-Boarding," that interrogators at Gitmo are now using "WretchBoarding" exclusively.
In a further development, when Dick Cheney (who is rumored to be the real boss of the ultra-secret "WretchBoarding" operation) saw the recent photo of Hillary published by the Washington Post, he sent a covert message to Rumsfeld suggesting that the image may be scary enough for inclusion in the Wretchboarding program. However, it's reported that Rumsfeld-- ever the contrarian -- sent back message to Cheney saying the image was too scary and might even have a debilitating effect on interrogators.
Expressing outrage at all these manifestations of "hyper-partisanship," the current mayor of New York City, Michael Bloomberg, said, "When I decide to run for President in 2008, I'll win," and added: "Furthermore, when I become President there will be no partisanship at all. Anyone expressing partisan views will be prosecuted for 'hate speech' and anyone thinking partisan thoughts will be convicted of 'thought crimes' and sent to one of the many Re-Education Camps I will establish to restore civility in politics and obedience to my will."
--Jim Wrenn, Editor and Washington Bureau Drawer Chief for PoliSat.Com.
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