September 28, 2007--
Obama Girl, Hillary Girl, Breck Girl, and Ron Paul Girl spawn Usama Girl video as Campaign 2008 enters "Girls Gone Wild" phase. ·
PoliSat.Com's Washington Bureau Drawer Chief has exclusively obtained the "YouTube generation" Campaign 2008 video spawned by "Obama Girl," "Hillary Girl," "Breck Girl," (more Breck Girl) and "Ron Paul Girl." The latest such video is "Usama Girl," as the earlier-than-ever campaign for the next Presidential nomination enters the new "Girls Gone Wild" phase.
As expected, the release of "Usama Girl" has spawned rampant speculation about its authenticity. However, PoliSat.Com's highly reliable (but sometimes reliably high) sources have assured our Washington Bureau Drawer Chief that the video has been proven authentic by highly sophisticated technical analysis performed by the bin Laden unit at the CIA. Dick Durbin and Ted Kennedy held a joint news conference to dispute the authenticity of "Usama Girl." Said Durbin, "Watching 'Usama Girl,' convinced me that it is a product of the CIA-- as I watched the video, it was obvious that no girl would do that unless she were to have been coerced into doing so by 'waterboarding.'" Ted Kennedy, who shared Durbin's conclusion that the video is the product of a CIA "disinformation" campaign, said, "Dick, I share your conclusions but for a different reason-- I'm familiar with 'waterboarding,' so you can 'take it to the bank' when I say that not even 'waterboarding' could have coerced any girl into performing in this video as 'Usama Girl' and that, therefore, the CIA must have used the far more extreme method developed at Gitmo known as "WretchBoarding."
Needless to say, many who claim bin Laden is dead are claiming that fact negates the claimed authenticity of "Usama Girl." Others claim the portions of the video showing bin Laden watching "Usama Girl" do her thing are indisputably recent images of bin Laden watching the video via a satellite receiver for a high-definition television in a cave in that corner of Pakistan where even the Pakistani Army fears to go.
Conservative activist James Dobson called the "Usama Girl" video "disgusting." Senator Larry Craig said, "I'm not gay, so you can take it to the bank when I tell you that the 'Usama Girl' video is a political version of 'Deep Throat.'" Bill Clinton said: "Larry, I knew 'Deep Throat.' In fact, 'Deep Throat' was a friend of mine, and 'Usama Girl" is no 'Deep Throat.'" Hillary Clinton said, "Well, at least it's not as bad as all those news stories, commentaries and videos, about my 'cleavage' just because I wore a push-em-up bra and low-cut blouse in the Senate. I can't help it if -- as Sharon Stone said -- my "sexuality" intimidates men and makes other women envious.
Unable to resist an opportunity to decry the "totalitarian ruthlessness" of what John Grisham called "the bad men with evil intent" in the Bush Administration, the celebrity spokes-being for the 9-11 Conspiracy Theorists, Charlie Sheen, said, "I've seen a lot of 'girl' movies in Hollywood, and I can tell you that this video could not have been made except by the clandestine operation now being run by former Defense Secretary Rumsfeld for the specific purpose of discrediting patriotic organizations such as 'Code Pink,' 'ANSWER,' and 'MoveOn.Org.'" Ron Paul, seeking to distance himself from the 9-11 Conspiracy Theorists, said, "I don't agree that the evidence conclusively proves that Bush/Cheney/Rumsfeld personally planted explosives to bring down the Twin Towers."
Frustrated by all the attention being drawn to "Usama Girl," Dick Cheney told PoliSat.Com's Washington Bureau Drawer Chief, "You know, we've seen the 'Obama Girl,' the 'Hillary Girl,' the 'Ron Paul Girl,' the 'Breck Girl,' and now the 'Usama Girl.' When are we going to see the 'Bush Girl'?"
Will "Usama Girl" eclipse all the other "[fill-in-the-blank] Girl" videos? Or is it destined for the video dustbin of history. No doubt it will be controversial, but as all progressive cultural leaders agree, "One man's girl is another girl's man and vice-versa."
--Jim Wrenn, Washington Bureau Drawer Chief at PoliSat.Com.
How to view "Usama Girl": There are several ways to view "Usama Girl." One way is to use any of the video-image links on this page. Some are in the original Windows Media format and some are versions of the original converted to the format used by YouTube.. Another way is to go to the original source at http://PoliSat.Com/UsamaGirl.htm.