Extra-BackPacks Support for Troops in Iraq.
April 30, 2007--.
Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi Provide Extra-BackPacks Support for the Troops in Iraq.·
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To negate once and for all the right-wing claims that the Democratic Leadership is undermining our troops' morale and their efforts in Iraq, Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi provide conclusive proof-- backed up by video-- that to remedy President George Bush's failures properly equip our troops, they're providing "extra backpacks" support for our troops in their uphill battle in Iraq. In a joint news conference announcing their actions to provide such support, Majority Leader Reid and Speaker Pelosi read two of the countless letters of thanks they've received from troops in Iraq.
A telegram from one of our marines, who signed simply "Semper Fi" (as is the custom of marines), said:
To Majority Leader Reid and Speaker Pelosi. STOP.
Re your providing extra backpack support STOP.
For our uphill battle in Iraq, for our thanks STOP.
Running out of breath, now, so, for thanks from me STOP.
STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP
To Majority Leader Reid and Speaker Pelosi:
The extra-backpacks support you're providing for those of us engaged in uphill battles in Iraq appear have the greatest value in preventing us from making the tactical fog-of-war mistake of rushing up-hill too fast. We are testing your theory that when the enemy at the top of the hill sees us advancing up the hill more slowly and methodically, they will exhaust themselves running down-hill towards us and that the extra backpacks will enable us to defeat them. However, having noticed that the extra backpacks come equipped with two sets of legs making them capable of self-locomotion, I think they could be used more effectively if they could (or would) self-locomote ahead of us during uphill battles.
Cpl. Schudda Eufaise.
Perhaps most poignant, however, was what is clearly "constructive criticism" by regular-mail letter from a Navy Seal:
To Majority Leader Reid and Speaker Pelosi:
I assume that in providing extra-backpacks support to the Marines and Army, you didn't intend to overlook those of use who serve as Navy Seals. Therefore, I think it's incumbent upon me to let you know that the main problem with the extra-backpack support is that it just doesn't float.
Lt. Cmdr. Weashu Wurhear.
After reading those letters, Leader Reid and Speaker Pelosi said, "Unlike Bush, who seems eager to claim success for his 'surge' strategy despite it's obvious failure, we're proud to say that in every instance in which we've provided "extra backpacks support" for the troops, our doing so has advanced our goal." "Hear, hear," said John Murtha. "Here, here," said Ted Kennedy. (continued below)
The press spokespersons for several of the Democratic candidates for the 2008 Democratic nomination for President issued press-releases in response to the Reid/Pelosi extra-backpacks support for the troops: Barak Obama's campaign spokesperson said, "We need to explore the idea of whether such extra-backpacks support should also become standard issue for first-responders, such as police, firemen and SWAT-team members." Senator Clinton's campaign said she thinks "extra frontpacks would have been more helpful." Joe Biden succinctly said said extra-backpacks are "okay" as long as they're "clean and crisp." Dennis Kucinich said, "I was an extra-backpack supporter long before any of the other candidates."
Tony Snow, having just returned to work following cancer treatment, said, "President Bush agrees with the email from the Army Ranger and the 'constructive criticism' offered by the Navy Seal. Vice President Cheney said the observations by the Navy Seal were "slam-dunk correct."
Jim Wrenn, Editor at PoliSat.Com.
Permanent Link for this installment: http://PoliSat.Com/ExtraBackPacks.htm.